m 


COLONEL  BANTAM. 


IN  HAPPY 
HOLLOW 


MAX  ADELER 

(CHARLEy  HEBER  CLARK) 

AUTHOR.  OF 

"OUT  OF  THE  HURLY-BURLY" 
•CAPTAIN  BLUm?  ETC%  ETC  • 


Ilio/tr^ted 

CLARE  VICTOR  DWIOG 

HERMAN  ROUNTREE 


HENRY  T.  COATES   &  CO. 

PHILADELPHIA  1903 


COPYRIGHT,  1903,  BY 
CHARLES   HEBER   CLARK* 


c. 


n, 

CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 
HAPPY  HOLLOW      9 

CHAPTER  II. 
MRS.  BANTAM .   < 21 

CHAPTER  III. 
THE  TOMMERS 30 

CHAPTER   IV. 
A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT 50 

CHAPTER  V. 
THE  SCHOOL 64 

CHAPTER  VI. 
DR.  BULFINCH'S  BROTHER 82 

CHAPTER  VII. 
THE  BOOM  BEGINS 102 

CHAPTER  VIII. 
MRS.  PURVIS-HYDE'S  UPLIFTER 120 

CHAPTER  IX. 
THE  FACE  AT  THE  WINDOW 135 

CHAPTER  X. 
AN  ADVENTURE  IN  THE  HILLS 145 

M196477 


4  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  XL 

.  PAGE 

INVALIDED .' .    .    .    168 

CHAPTER  XII. 
THE  STRIKE 187 

CHAPTER  XIII. 
TROUBLE  IN  HAPPY  HOLLOW 207 

CHAPTER  XIV. 
THE  BLACK  SHEEP f   .    226 

CHAPTER  XV. 
ON  A  SUMMER  NIGHT 243 

CHAPTER  XVI. 
A  STORM  IN  THE  HOUSEHOLD 258 

CHAPTER  XVII. 
THE  CLOUD-COMPELLER 273 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 
AT  HAWKSMERE 291 

CHAPTER  XIX. 
A  LITTLE  GREY  MAN 307 

CHAPTER  XX. 
THE  COLONEL  FINDS  SCOPE    ... 324 


ILLUSTRATIONS. 


PAGE 

COLONEL  JOSEPH  BANTAM Frontispiece 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  1 9 

COLONEL  BANTAM  PASSES  BY 14 

"I  PERMIT  MRS.  BANTAM  TO  HAVE  HER  WAY" .  19 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  II 21 

"HOW   CHARMING  TO    HAVE   YOU  WITH   US,    MR.  SPRAT  "   ...  22 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  III 30 

MR.  PELICAN  EXPLAINS 35 

RUBY  AND  JULIE 37 

BANTAM  AT  GETTYSBURG 42 

JULIE  MORTIMER  READING  HER  STORY 45 

TAIL-PIECE 49 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  IV 50 

MR.  SPIKER'S  PERQUISITES 53 

"BLOODHOUNDS,  HEY!" 56 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  V 64 

GOING  TO  SCHOOL 67 

THE  STRENUOUS  LIFE 68 

DOCTOR  BULFINCH 71 

POLLY  HOPKINS  AND  THE  DOCTOR 77 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  VI 82 

"WILL  YOU  GIVE  HER  HER  MONEY  OR  NOT?" 89 

'LIAS  GUFF 91 

5 


6  ILLUSTRATIONS. 

PAGE 

THE  JAYBIRD  ON  FRIDAY 92 

"  I  MAKE  YOU  A  PREFERRED  CREDITOR  " 97 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  VII 102 

THE  WOMAN'S  DEPARTMENT 106 

"I'VE  COME  TO  MAKE  THINGS  HUM" 109 

THE  FAMILY  BIBLE 114 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  VIII 120 

PELICAN'S  OWN  HANDSOME  TEAM 121 

THE  SOURCE  OF  ANTHROPOPHAGY .-a  _.  131 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  IX 135 

RUBY'S  MOTHER 140 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  X 145 

ON   THE   HILLSIDE   ROAD 152 

WRECKED! Opposite  page   161 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XI 168 

"I    SHOULD    TEAR    HER    LIMB   FROM    LIMB!" 17 1 

ELMIRA'S  BURGLAR  HUNT Opposite  page   184 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XII 187 

THE   WALKING   DELEGATE 189 

"SHE    SAID     MARY    JANE    DELANF.Y'S     BONNET    WAS     OLD 

FASHIONED  " 19! 

"  NOW    LET    HER   GO  !" 199 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XIII 207 

"I  SAY  HE  DID  WRITE  IT" 214 

THE  HOOP-SNAKE 224 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XIV 226 

THE   BLACK   SHEEP 228 

"THE   SHADES   OF  NIGHT  WERE   FALLING   FAST" 233 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XV 243 


ILLUSTRATIONS.  7 

PAGE 

THE  BURGLARS 256 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XVI 258 

SPIKER'S  IDEA  OF  A  MONUMENT  FOR  THE  COLONEL    .'....  262 

"A  PERRINE'S  FOOD  CHILD" 265 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XVII 273 

THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER 275 

THE   RAIN    FELL    IN    SHEETS 277 

MRS.  BANTAM'S  REFUGE  FROM  THE  STORM 279 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XVIII 291 

LYING  BY  THE  MOSS-COVERED  BANK  WAS  A  BOAT   .  Opposite  page  293 

THERE  WAS  NOT  MUCH  HOPE  IN  THE  FIRST  OUTLOOK  ....  297 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XIX 307 

RUBY  MEETS  HER  FATHER 313 

THE  COLONEL  GUARANTEES  THE  BANK ....  321 

HEAD-PIECE  FOR  CHAPTER  XX 324 

THE   ROAD    TO   GLORY 327 

"YOU   MAY   TOSS   A   BOUQUET   TO   ME " 330 


IN  HAPPY  HOLLOW. 


Tfr 


never  visited 
the  town  of 
Happy  Hol- 
low until  I  went  there  on  a  September 
day  to  become  a  teacher  in  Dr.  Bulfinch's 
Classical  and  Mathematical  Academy. 

I  did  not  suspect,  as  I  came  into  Happy 
Hollow  in  a  mid-day  train,  that  I  should  speedily  be- 
come a  figure  in  a  rather  queer  romance. 

The  town  itself  indeed  had  no  strong  suggestion 
of  romance.  For  although  the  everlasting  hills  stand 
round  about  it  upon  every  side,  Happy  Hollow  itself 
was  forlorn  with  unpaved  streets  and  shabby  houses. 
But  the  noble  hills,  forest-covered,  broken  here  and 
there  by  gaps  which  make  them  seem  undulating  and 
billowy,  and  with  their  dusky  verdure  filling  the  hori- 


;  JN:  :H'AFPY  HOLLOW. 


zon,  to  north,  to  south,  to  east,  to  west,  do  make  the 
view  from  the  village  beautiful  ;  and  then,  right  through 
the  heart  of  Happy  Hollow,  sent  down  from  the  hills, 
runs  between  grassy  banks,  under  arching  trees  and 
beneath  three  pretty  bridges,  a  swift  stream  coursing 
toward  the  wide,  shallow  river  three  miles  below. 

Along  the  stream  for  a  little  way  within  the  town- 
borders  lay  a  small  park,  with  trees  and  grass  and 
shrubs,  and  here  and  there  a  rustic  seat  for  the  uses 
of  the  wayfaring  man  and  the  loiterer. 

There  were  large  possibilities  of  beauty  in  Happy 
Hollow,  and  as  I  write  they  have  been  employed,  and 
the  dear  old  town  is  beautiful. 

On  that  day  in  the  early  autumn  when  I  left  the 
railroad  train  at  the  station  half  a  mile  or  more  away 
from  the  town  I  was  carried  into  Happy  Hollow  in  an 
ancient  and  battered  omnibus  owned  by  the  Metro- 
politan Hotel. 

When,  from  the  window  of  the  omnibus,  I  saw  the 
Metropolitan  Hotel,  built  of  wood,  with  its  two  stories 
topped  by  a  French  roof  and  its  portico  frilled  by  odd 
and  ugly  wooden  scroll-work,  it  did  not  seem  alluring 
as  a  permanent  resting-place,  and  when  I  went  into 
the  office  to  put  my  name  upon  the  register  as  an 
applicant  for  dinner,  the  lingering  suggestions  in  the 
atmosphere  of  beverages  long  since  consumed  by  con- 
vivial persons  impelled  me  to  thankfulness  that  I  had 
arranged  to  make  my  home  with  Mrs.  Joseph  Bantam. 

One  other  visitor  to  Happy  Hollow  partook  with 
me  of  the  dinner  prepared  that  day  in  the  kitchen  of 
the  Metropolitan  Hotel,  and  as  both  of  us  were  young 
and  courageous  we  did  not  flinch  until  we  came  to 
coffee.  Then  my  companion,  who  had  dared  that 


HAPPY    HOLLOW.  n 

dinner-table  before,  warned  me  to  stop  unless  I  cared 
to  carry  away  a  medicinal  flavor  upon  my  palate. 

My  companion  was  Thomas  Driggs,  who  had  been 
in  my  class  at  college.  Tom  was  the  last  man  I  should 
have  expected  to  encounter  in  that  little  town,  away 
off  among  the  hills ;  but  then  it  is  one  of  the  queer 
things  about  this  queer  life  of  ours  that  the  man  who 
is  most  unlikely  to  appear  usually  does  appear. 

Tom  Driggs  was  not  a  very  bright  scholar,  and  I 
have  never  been  able  to  understand  how  he  contrived 
to  pass  his  examinations  at  college.  But  he  did  pass 
them,  and  then,  wisely  refusing  to  respond  to  his 
mother's  earnest  plea  that  he  should  enter  the  ministry, 
he  found  employment  as  travelling  salesman  for  a 
shoe-house. 

I  like  Tom  Driggs,  and  I  should  be  sorry  to  say 
anything  unkind  of  him,  but  I  have  always  believed 
that  if  he  had  actually  thrust  himself  into  the  pulpit, 
persons  who  have  intellectual  requirements  with  respect 
to  religion  would  have  had  an  impulse  to  fall  away 
from  the  true  faith. 

After  dinner  Tom  and  I  sat  in  the  chairs  upon  the 
front  porch  of  the  Metropolitan  Hotel,  and  Tom,  with 
one  foot  lifted  to  the  level  of  his  chin  and  planted 
firmly  against  a  wooden  pillar  that  upheld  the  roof, 
entertained  himself  by  presenting  explanatory  observa- 
tions about  shoes.  He  could  not  have  been  more 
comprehensive  and  eloquent  if  I  had  been  a  possible 
customer.  I  tried  to  appear  to  be  interested  in  his 
talk,  but  this  was  not  an  easy  thing  to  do,  for,  while  I 
permit  myself  to  have  enthusiasms,  I  think  I  could 
never  succeed  in  kindling  a  lively  flame  over  such  a 
subject. 


12  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

While  Tom  Driggs  talked,  I  looked  at  and  read  a 
glaring  poster  upon  a  bill-board  fixed  to  a  tree  by  the 
curbstone,  ten  or  fifteen  feet  away  from  us.  It  con- 
tained this  announcement : 

GRAND  OPERA  HOUSE. 


ONE  NIGHT  ONLY. 

A.  J.  PELICAN'S   STUPENDOUS   STAR 
COMBINATION. 

In  the  Highly  Emotional  Dramatization  of 
UNCLE  TOM'S   CABIN. 

Enormous  Aggregation  of  Talent.     Affecting,  Thrilling, 
Exciting.     Phenomenal  Cast,  including : 

Miss  JULIE  MORTIMER  as  Eliza,  the  Slave- Mother. 
Miss  RUBY  BONNER  as  Little  Eva. 
Marvellous  Scenic  Effects — Realistic  Stage-Settings. 

Two  Real  Bloodhounds ! 

Wonderful  Escape  of  the  Slave- Mother  on  the  Ice ! 
Ran  for  four  hundred  nights,  and  not  a  dry  eye  in  the 

House. 

Storms  of  Applause. 
Startling  Reminiscences  of  the  Days  before  the  Civil  War. 

When  Tom  Driggs  had  said  the  last  word  about 
shoes  that  he  could  just  then  think  of,  he  pointed  to 
the  poster  and  said  to  me : 

"Jack,  that's  a  good  thing;  you  ought  to  see  it." 

I  have  always  thought  it  a  misfortune  that  my  last 

name  is  Sprat.     No  matter  if  my  first  name  is  Henry, 

it  was  inevitable  that  the  boys  at  school  and  college 

should  call  me  Jack,  that  absurd  nursery  rhyme  about 


HAPPY    HOLLOW.  13 

the  Sprats  being  known  wherever  English  is  spoken. 
However,  I  found  long  ago  that  protest  avails  nothing, 
so  I  answered : 

"  I  don't  care  for  performances  of  that  kind." 

"  I  know,"  said  Driggs,  "  money  wouldn't  bribe  me 
to  go  to  see  ordinary  Tommers ;  but  this  is  different. 
I  saw  the  performance  down  at  Aristotle  last  spring. 
The  company  is  poor,  but  Julie  and  Ruby  are  wonder- 
ful. You  will  miss  it  if  you  don't  see  them.  How 
old  Pelican  ever  found  such  treasures  I  can't  imagine. 
They  have  genius.  I  know  Ruby,  personally." 

"  '  Not  a  dry  eye  in  the  house,'  "  I  said,  repeating  the 
announcement  on  the  poster. 

"  Yes,  sir !  that's  a  fact !"  said  Driggs,  with  eagerness, 
and  withdrawing  his  foot  from  its  elevated  position 
that  he  might  turn  and  look  at  me.  "  I  cried  myself 
when  I  saw  Julie  in  the  first  act.  If  you  go  to  see 
her,  you  will  find  that  it  is  not  as  funny  as  it  sounds." 

"  Perhaps  I  will." 

"  I  would  go  if  I  didn't  have  to  meet  a  man  in  Pur- 
gatory Springs  to-morrow." 

While  Tom  Driggs  was  speaking  almost  as  warmly 
of  Julie  Mortimer  as  he  had  spoken  of  shoes,  a  man 
passed  the  hotel  porch  and  bowed  to  us. 

He  was  about  sixty  years  old,  five  feet  ten  inches 
high,  and  with  gray  hair  and  gray  moustache  and  im- 
perial. He  wore  a  military  hat  with  a  cord  about  it ; 
he  walked  with  a  slight  limp,  and  he  carried  a  silver- 
headed  cane  as  if  it  were  a  sword.  He  gave  to  us, 
indeed,  a  military  salute  as  he  went  by  us.  His  ap- 
pearance and  bearing  plainly  indicated  that  he  was  a 
veteran  of  the  Civil  War.  His  gait  encouraged  the 
belief  that  he  still  carried  a  bullet  in  his  leg. 


I4  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  That's  Colonel  Bantam,  Mayor  of  the  town,"  said 
Driggs.  "  The  hotel-keeper  told  me  so.  He's  related 
somehow  or  other  to  Ruby  Bonner.  Fine-looking 
man,  isn't  he?" 

"  I  am  going  to  board  with  him,"  I  said.  "  I  must 
hunt  him  up  and  introduce  myself  to  him  after  a 
while." 


Colonel  Bantam  passes  by. 

Tom  Driggs  then  began  to  betray  a  tendency  to 
return  to  the  discussion  of  shoes,  so  I  bade  him  good- 
bye and  left  him  sitting  there,  waiting  for  the  omnibus 
to  take  him  to  the  train. 

I  went  into  the  barber-shop  in  the  hotel  to  be 
shaved  before  I  presented  myself  to  Colonel  and  Mrs. 
Bantam.  It  was  the  shop  of  Felix  Acorn  and  he  was 
there  alone  when  I  entered.  He  was  a  small,  mourn- 
ful-looking man,  with  dark  eyes  and  brown  com- 
plexion, and  with  black  curly  hair  glistening  with 


HAPPY   HOLLOW.  15 

pomatum.  There  was  about  Felix  Acorn  the  sugges- 
tion of  a  vulgar  Hamlet  and  an  atmosphere  of  gloom 
that  impelled  me  to  think  of  the  graveyard  scene  in 
the  play. 

Felix  Acorn  greeted  me  sadly,  as  a  man  might  do 
who  had  had  a  recent  great  bereavement,  and  he  spoke 
not  a  word  while  he  prepared  the  towel  and  the  cup. 

The  silence  becoming  at  last  too  depressing,  I  asked 
him,  as  he  stirred  the  brush  in  the  lather : 

"  Do  you  know  where  Colonel  Bantam  lives  ?" 

"  I  know  where  Joe  Bantam  lives.  Some  people 
calls  him  Colonel ;  but  he  ain't  no  colonel." 

u  He  is  an  old  soldier,  I  should  think,  from  his 
appearance ;  and  he  walks  as  if  he  had  been  wounded." 

"  Walks  !  Yes  !"  responded  Felix  Acorn  scornfully, 
but  with  gloom  in  the  very  tones  of  his  voice.  "  And 
when  there  was  fightin'  he  walked  and  walked,  a  good 
deal  faster,  too ;  walked  right  towards  home  or  any- 
wheres out  of  danger." 

"Wasn't  he  in  the  war?" 

"  He  was  a  clerk  in  the  Quartermaster's  depart- 
ment, and  he  always  had  a  call  to  go  and  buy  mules 
up  in  Pike  County  when  things  was  hot  and  the  balls 
a  flyin' !  You  can't  impose  on  me.  I  know  it,  for  I 
seen  the  record." 

"  These  people  around  yer,"  continued  Felix  Acorn, 
as  he  began  seriously  to  apply  himself  to  the  duties  of 
his  profession  and  drew  the  razor  to  and  fro  upon  the 
strap,  "  say  I'm  skeptical,  and  so  I  am.  I  used  to  be 
imposed  on  when  I  was  a  boy,  but  I  got  to  know 
about  things,  and  the  more  I  knowed  the  less  I  be- 
lieved. There's  mighty  few  things  that  people  thinks 
is  so  that  really  is  so." 


16  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Felix  Acorn  was  by  no  means  exhilarating,  but  he 
had  succeeded  in  exciting  in  my  mind  some  small 
interest  and  curiosity. 

"  What  are  some  of  the  things  that  you  refer  to  ?"  I 
asked. 

"  They  say  we  descended  from  monkeys  and  shed 
our  tails  because  they  wa'n't  of  no  use.  Now  I  put  it 
to  you :  would  you  do  that  if  you  had  one  ?  No 
Acorn  never  was  such  a  fool.  A  tail  that  'd  grip 
things  !  Why,  it  'd  be  as  good  as  a  third  hand.  Right 
now  I  could  fan  you  while  I  shave  you.  No,  sir! 
The  lies  that  people  tells  is  awful !  Do  you  believe 
ostriches  hides  their  heads  in  the  sand  when  you  skeer 
'em?  .  Well,  I  don't!  I've  watched  'em  by  the  hour 
and  skeered  'em  too,  and  they  never  put  their  heads 
nowheres.  It's  all  humbug ;  and  the  same  way  with 
snakes  in  Ireland.  I  was  imposed  on  when  I  was  a 
boy  with  the  idea  that  there  wa'n't  no  snakes  in  Ire- 
land, but  I  know  an  Irishman  who's  seen  'em  and 
killed  'em  there." 

"  Maybe  he  didn't  tell  the  truth." 

"  I'd  trust  him  for  anything.  It's  the  books  and 
newspapers  you  can't  trust.  There's  General  Wash- 
ington ;  he  never  cut  no  cherry-tree  with  no  hatchet ; 
and  Benjamin  Franklin  never  flew  no  kite  ;  and  there's 
no  Uncle  Sam  like  you  see  the  picture  of  in  the  papers ; 
'  All  men  are  liars,'  David  said,  and  he  was  right,  if  he 
really  did  say  it,  for  I'm  not  sure  he  did  or  that  there 
ever  was  a  David ;  for  if  there  was  a  David  why  didn't 
he  have  a  last  name?  That's  mighty  suspicious,  just 
by  itself." 

"  Are  you  sure  about  anything?"  I  asked. 

"  Sure  enough  about  some  things,"  he  answered  with 


HAPPY    HOLLOW.  17 

a  tone  indicating  that  he  might  at  any  moment  fall  into 
a  fit  of  weeping.  "  Sure  there  is  no  Equator  like  the 
geographies  says  there  is,  and  no  Tropic  of  Cancer. 
Them  lines  round  the  world  is  all  lies.  No  man  ever 
seen  'em  or  will  see  'em.  And  the  North  Pole !  Do 
you  know  the  North  Pole  ain't  anywheres  near  the 
North  Pole  ?  Do  you  know  that  ?" 

"  I've  heard  so." 

"  Exactly !  there  ain't  no  such  place.  It's  a  wonder 
to  me  how  people  that  goes  to  church  and  pretends  to 
be  pious  can  have  the  face  to  try  to  deceive  us  that 
way  about  the  Equator  and  things." 

"  But  still,"  I  said,  as  Felix  Acorn  completed  the 
operation  upon  which  he  was  engaged,  "  Bantam  is  a 
real  man  who  lives  in  a  real  house,  and"  you  haven't 
yet  told  me  where  the  house  is." 

Felix  Acorn  shook  the  towel,  and  while  he  folded 
it  I  thought  he  was  searching  his  mind  to  find  some 
argument  to  prove  the  unsubstantiality  of  Bantam  and 
the  deceptive  nature  of  the  Colonel's  residence.  Fail- 
ing in  this  effort  he  turned  to  me  and  said  : 

"  Go  straight  up  this  street  to  the  right  for  two 
blocks  and  turn  to  your  left,  and  it  is  the  third  house 
on  the  west  side,  with  a  granite  cornice,  only  the  cor- 
nice ain't  granite.  It's  sheet-iron  painted  and  sanded 
to  deceive.  You  can't  miss  it." 

As  he  spoke  Colonel  Bantam  passed  the  shop-door. 

"There  goes  Bantam  now,"  said  Felix  Acorn. 
"  He'll  show  you  the  way  if  you  ask  him." 

I  called  '•  Colonel !"  and  the  Colonel  stopped  while 
I  went  out  and  introduced  myself  to  him. 

Colonel  Bantam  drew  himself  up,  placed  his  feet 
together,  and  brought  his  uplifted  cane  in  front  of  his 


1 8  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

face,  saluting  as  if  on  dress-parade.  Then  he  grasped 
my  hand,  and  shaking  it  vigorously,  he  said : 

"  Professor,  I  give  you  official  welcome  to  Happy 
Hollow,  and  a  personal  welcome  to  the  hallowed  pre- 
cincts of  my  home.  I  will  have  much  pleasure  in 
leading  you  thither.  Take  my  arm." 

I  put  my  hand  upon  Colonel  Bantam's  arm  and  we 
began  to  walk  up  the  street.  It  seemed  to  me  that 
the  Colonel  limped  in  a  manner  indicating  lameness  of 
greater  degree  than  I  had  thought. 

"  You  must  pardon  me,  Professor,"  he  said,  "  for 
going  slowly.  The  recent  civil  strife  has  left  its  mark 
upon  me.  I  still  suffer  for  my  country.  I  do  not  mind 
the  pain,  but  I  am  bitter  sometimes  when  I  see  the 
nation  rioting  in  luxury,  while  the  men  whose  blood 
quenched  the  fires  of  rebellion  find  the  wolf  at  the 
door." 

"  You  were  in  the  army  ?" 

"  It  is  my  proudest  recollection,  sir,  that  I  bared 
my  bosom  to  the  foe,  and  stood  with  uplifted  head 
amid  the  flaming  terrors  of  the  battle-line." 

"  You  were  in  many  engagements  ?" 

"  Engagements,  sir !  I  never  speak  of  it  but  to 
friends,  and  I  refer  to  it  now  reluctantly,  almost  shame- 
facedly, but  my  companions-in-arms,  against  my  con- 
tinued protest,  would  insist  upon  calling  me  Fighting 
Joe;  my  first  name,  you  know,  is  Joseph.  I  plead 
with  you  to  refrain  from  employing  the  phrase  in 
alluding  to  me." 

"I  am  glad,"  I  said,  "to  make  my  home  with  a 
brave  veteran." 

"  Not  with  me,"  he  answered,  touching  my  arm 
with  his  right  hand,  in  which  he  held  his  cane.  "  Mrs. 


HAPPY    HOLLOW.  19 

Bantam  is  goddess  of  that  shrine  of  the  affections. 
She  insists  upon  taking  a  few  cultured  friends  as 
boarders  from  yearnings  for  an  enlarged  domesticity ; 
incidentally,  perhaps,  for  pin-money.  Sir,  you  know 
how  it  is  with  the  lovelier  sex ;  always  wanting  to 
spend  for  knick-knacks  and  trinkets !  I  permit  her  to 
have  her  way  while  I  attend  to  my  official  duties.  I 
am  Mayor  of  the  town.  I  have  been  called  by  my 


"  I  permit  Mrs.  Bantam  to  have  her  way." 

fellow-citizens  to  direct  the  destinies  of  Happy  Hollow, 
and  I  do  it.  The  emoluments  of  the  chief  magistracy 
are  inconsiderable,  but  I  am  ambitious,  and  it  is  much 
to  me,  excluded  by  peaceful  conditions  from  manoeu- 
vring battalions  upon  the  field  of  war,  to  wield  the 
power  of  the  municipality." 

As  he  spoke,  we  came  near  to  a  very  large  and  fat 
policeman  with  a  red  face  and  huge  double-chin.  The 
policeman  assumed  a  military  attitude,  and  as  we 


20  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

passed  he  saluted  the  Colonel,  who  returned  the 
salute  handsomely. 

"  Officer,"  demanded  the  Colonel,  "  have  you  any- 
thing to  report  ?" 

"  No,  your  honor  !" 

"  That,"  said  the  Colonel,  as  we  walked  onward,  "  is 
my  police  force.  Faithful,  efficient,  under  rigid  disci- 
pline. His  name  is  Elias  Guff;  a  valuable  man." 

"  He  is  the  whole  force ;  just  one  man  ?" 

"  One,  and  he  is  a  host  in  himself  with  me  to  direct 
him.  We  shall  have  two  next  spring  when  the  tax 
assessments  are  put  up." 

"  We  now,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  approach  our 
home.  I  will  open  the  door  for  you  and  usher  you 
into  the  drawing-room,  but  you  must  consent  to  over- 
look it  if  I  do  not  present  you  personally  to  Mrs. 
Bantam.  We  have  had  a  trifling  difference.  .  You 
know  how  it  is.  There  are  jars.  The  sweetest  bells 
are  sometimes  jangled  and  out  of  tune.  She  is  a 
lovely  woman,  lovely — but,  well,  no  doubt  the  discord 
will  dissolve  itself  in  harmony  very  soon  ;  in  fact,  the 
storm  will  blow  over.  But  Mrs.  Bantam  has  insisted 
that  I  shall  wear  a  dress-coat  to  dinner  and  shall  re- 
frain from  taking  soup  more  than  once,  and  I  have  been 
recalcitrant.  A  man  who  has  been  used  to  command- 
ing legions  does  not  readily  surrender  all  authority." 

"  Here  we  are!  I  ring  for  the  servant.  Helen,  say 
to  your  mistress  that  Professor  Sprat  is  here.  Dear 
boy !  farewell  for  a  time.  I  will  wait  for  you  near  by." 

With  these  words,  Colonel  Bantam  walked  around  the 
corner  of  the  house  to  the  garden  and  sought  a  bench 
in  the  shade  of  a  tree.  His  lameness  seemed  really 
less  grievous  than  it  had  been  when  I  first  met  him. 


was  quite 

a  plump  and  pretty  gray-haired  woman,  and  when  she 
came  into  the  room  with  her  hand  extended  in  greet- 
ing, her  manner  seemed  to  me  to  resemble  her  hus- 
band's. 

"  How  charming  to  have  you  with  us,  Mr.  Sprat, 
and  how  delightful  your  profession  of  opening  the 
budding  mind  and  refreshing  it  with  the  dews  of  learn- 
ing! I  remember  my  own  dear  teachers  with  undi- 
minished  affection,  for  you  must  know  that  in  my 
childhood  I  lived  amid  all  the  refinements  of  luxury 
and  had  the  most  gifted  tutors.  In  my  ancestral  home 
the  horn  of  plenty  poured  forth  its  bounteous  store. 
But  I  willingly  make  any  sacrifice  for  the  Colonel.  By 
the  way,  where  is  he  ?  Did  he  come  with  you  ?" 

"  He  had  an  engagement,"  I  answered,  "  and  excused 
himself  for  a  moment." 

21 


22 


IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


"  You  will  like   him,"  she  said  warmly.     "  You  will 
like  him  with  all  his  faults.     My  revered  father  always 
said  to  me,  '  Edith,  in 
seeking  for  a  prize  in 
the    lottery    of    matri- 
mony  prefer    Intellect 
to  Dross/  and  this 

judicious  counsel 

J 


How  charming  to  have  you 
with  us,  Mr.  Sprat." 

controlled  my  decision  when 
Colonel  Bantam  urged  his 
suit." 

"  He  impressed  me  favorably,"  I  said,  for  I  could 
not  be  disagreeable  to  the  good  woman. 


MRS.   BANTAM.  23 

"  How  beautiful!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Bantam.  "The" 
Colonel  always  does  that.  What  the  Colonel  needs  is 
scope — a  wider  scope,  an  enlarged  horizon.  Happy 
Hollow  is  a  dear  little  paradise,  but  the  vistas  are  not 
extended,  and  Colonel  Bantam's  intellect  is  cramped 
even  in  the  chief  magistracy." 

When  I  had  expressed  sorrow  because  of  these 
untoward  circumstances,  Mrs.  Bantam,  with  whom  I 
had  arranged  by  letter  the  terms  upon  which  I  should 
dwell  in  her  house,  called  the  servant  and  I  went  to 
my  room,  to  which  also  my  baggage  was  brought. 

It  was  a  comfortable  apartment,  and  I  was  contented. 
In  a  little  while  I  came  down  stairs,  and  when  Mrs. 
Bantam  had  said  to  me  "  Dinner  at  six,  Mr.  Sprat,"  I 
walked  out  into  the  garden.  Colonel  Bantam  was 
expecting  me. 

"  My  dear  boy,"  he  said,  as  with  both  hands  he  drew 
me  to  the  seat  beneath  the  wide-spreading  horse-chest- 
nut tree,  "  you  thought  her  a  lovely  woman  ?" 

"  Yes,  indeed !" 

"  I  knew  it !"  he  said  with  a  smile.  "  She  is  more 
than  lovely,  she  is  grand,  a  grand  woman  !  But  then, 
Professor,"  and  the  Colonel's  countenance  fell,  "  there 
is  always  a  fly  in  the  ointment ;  always  a  flaw  in  the 
diamond  !  Frailty,  thy  name  is  woman  !" 

"  What  is  the  matter  ?" 

"  Sir,  forgive  me  for  making  the  disclosure  ;  I  do  it 
only  in  the  sacred  confidence  of  friendship.  Her  weak- 
ness is  emotionalism,  it  really  amounts  to  a  weakness ; 
a  feminine  weakness,  but  still  a  weakness.  You  are 
young;  take  an  old  man's  advice.  Cultivate  reserve 
of  feeling.  Hold  yourself  in.  Play  the  stoic,  if  I  may 
use  the  phrase." 


24  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  And  now,  Professor,  may  I  trespass  in  a  small  way 
upon  your  better  nature  ?  The  wolf  is  literally  at  the 
door.  I  have  had  a  recent  very  severe  strain  upon  my 
financial  resources,  and  the  exigencies  of  the  moment 
imperatively-  require  five  dollars.  It  is  repugnant  to 
every  instinct  of  my  nature  to  ask  it,  but  could  you 
without  subjecting  yourself  to  inconvenience  give  me 
that  sum  on  account  of  your  future  indebtedness  to 
my  household  ?" 

As  I  handed  him  the  money,  Colonel  Bantam  arose 
and  said : 

"  As  soon  as  I  can  realize  on  my  assets,  the  loan 
shall  be  repaid  with  usury.  And  now,  forgive  the 
apparent  discourtesy,  but  my  official  duties  summon 
me.  Make  yourself  perfectly  at  home  here.  Act  as 
if  you  were  in  your  own  house." 

The  Colonel  saluted  me  with  his  cane  and  walked 
away  with  a  more  dreadful  limp  than  I  had  yet  ob- 
served. He  seemed  to  have  varying  degrees  of  lame- 
ness. 

I  believed  it  to  be  my  duty  now,  in  the"  time  before 
Mrs.  Bantam's  evening  meal,  to  visit  Dr.  Bulfinch  that 
he  might  know  of  my  arrival  and  of  my  readiness  for 
work  whenever  he  should  require  my  services. 

While  Colonel  Bantam  hobbled  down  the  street, 
happy  that  the  wolf  and  the  door  were  no  longer,  as 
he  would  have  said,  in  juxtaposition,  I  turned  the 
corner,  crossed  the  north  bridge  over  Aramink  Creek 
and  walked  out  to  the  school. 

Dr.  Bu-lfinch's  Classical  and  Mathematical  Academy 
stood  upon  the  outer  edge  of  the  town,  in  an  enclosure 
in  which  were  several  large  and  handsome  trees,  but 
no  other  vegetation  of  any  kind.  The  ground  was 


MRS.   BANTAM.  25 

bare  and  hard,  showing  indications  that  the  scholars 
used  it  vigorously  for  their  sports.  The  Academy 
building  was  made  of  pale  pink  bricks  which  looked 
as  if  they  had  once  been  crimson  and  had  faded  hi  the 
sunlight.  The  woodwork  was  much  in  need  of  paint 
and  of  repair;  but  the  structure  was  large,  well- 
arranged,  and  I  found  afterward  fully  equal  to  the 
needs  of  a  prosperous  school. 

I  met  a  troop  of  boys  coming  from  the  main  door- 
way as  I  approached  it,  and  when  I  asked  one  of 
them  where  I  could  find  Dr.  Bulfinch,  he  pointed  me 
to  the  Doctor's  study  upon  the  second  floor,  and  this 
boy  and  a  crowd  of  other  boys  laughed,  as  if  they  be- 
lieved my  introduction  to  the  Doctor  might  have  some 
humorous  aspects. 

Ascending  the  worn  and  dusty  staircase,  I  went 
along  the  corridor  until  I  came  near  to  the  door  of 
the  Doctor's  room.  As  I  paused  before  it  I  heard  a 
sound  which  might  have  been  mistaken  by  an  inex- 
perienced person  as  indicating  that  some  one  in  the 
room  was  beating  the  dust  from  a  carpet.  I  made  a 
better  guess,  and  as  I  opened  the  door  I  saw  a  tall, 
angular  man,  with  a  pale  face,  cleanly  shaven  and  with 
a  stern  smile  upon  it,  holding  a  boy  with  his  left  hand 
while  he  applied  a  switch  to  the  boy's  back  with  his 
right  hand. 

Sitting  on  a  bench  by  the  wall  were  four  other  boys 
with  mingled  grief  and  mischievousness  written  upon 
their  countenances.  They  smiled  grimly  as  I  came  in, 
and  I  thought  I  discerned  in  their  eyes  gleams  of  hope 
that  the  visitor  might  divert  the  Doctor  from  the  pur- 
pose, plainly  entertained  by  him,  to  flog  them. 

But  hope  died  out  when  the  Doctor,  continuing  the 


26  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

exercise  in  which  he  was  engaged  without  noticing  me, 
at  last  released  his  victim,  and  turning  to  me  with 
rather  more  brightness  in  his  smile,  said  : 

"  Good  afternoon,  sir ;  will  you  sit  here  until  I  com- 
plete my  task,  or  will  you  wait  for  me  in  the  corri- 
dor?" 

The  boys  upon  the  bench  looked  as  if  life  for  them 
had  surrendered  its  last  drop  of  joy.  I  answered  that 
I  would  wait  for  him  in  the  corridor. 

As  I  turned  to  go  away,  Dr.  Bulfinch  raising  his  rod, 
to  begin  again  his  exercise,  said  to  me : 

"  Qui  parcit  virgae  vitiat  filium" 

I  went  out  and  walked  up  and  down,  looking  through 
the  windows  and  upon  the  playground,  while  the 
sounds  of  castigation  came  from  the  study  until  four 
boys  at  intervals  emerged  from  the  chamber  of  dis- 
cipline and  shot  down  the  stairway  as  if  they  had 
engagements  of  most  pressing  nature. 

Then  the  Doctor  called  me  in,  and  as  he  grasped  my 
hand  he  smiled  still  more  brightly  and  drew  his  thin 
lips  together  and  said  : 

"  This  is  the  most  painful  part  of  the  task  of  edu- 
cating the  young,  Mr.  Sprat "  (the  Doctor  really  did 
not  look  as  if  he  found  it  painful),  "  but  I  adhere  to  the 
old  theories,  as  you  see.  You  know  the  old  proverb : 
'  Spare  the  rod,'  and  so  forth.  I  want  no  spoiled  boys 
in  this  school.  I've  used  the  rod  for  forty  years,  and 
I  am  sure  there  are  pupils  of  mine  in  heaven  to-day 
because  I  flogged  them." 

"  An  odd  way,  too,"  I  ventured  to  say,  "  of  preparing 
the  young  spirit  for  celestial  bless." 

"  It  seems  so,"  responded  the  Doctor,  good-naturedly, 
"  but  severe  discipline  of  the  body  has  always  been 


MRS.   BANTAM.  27 

recognized  as  an  important  agency  in  spiritual  growth. 
I  have  written  a  pamphlet  upon  the  subject '  The  Right 
Way  to  Bring  Up  Boys,'  and  in  that  publication  I  show 
that  love  is  the  most  potent  of  all  the  forces  in  train- 
ing youth.  But  love,  I  remark,  from  its  very  nature, 
involves  sacrifice,  and  sacrifice  is  but  another  name  for 
suffering,  and  flogging  and  suffering  are,  as  it  were, 
synonymous.  From  this  I  deduce  the  fact  that  the 
rod  is  love's  most  effective  instrument." 

I  was  much  interested  in  the  Doctor's  exposition  of 
his  theories,  but  there  were  other  matters  to  talk  of.  I 
turned  from  the  subject,  and  when  the  conference  was 
ended  arrangement  had  been  made  that  I  should  begin 
my  work  at  the  school  as  assistant  teacher  on  the 
following  Monday  morning.  I  reached  Happy  Hol- 
low on  Friday. 

When  I  returned  to  my  lodging-place  I  walked  in 
without  knocking,  and  was  abashed  to  find  Colonel 
Bantam  standing  in  the  parlor,  while  Mrs.  Bantam, 
with  her  arms  about  his  neck,  reclined  her  head  upon 
his  breast  and  wept, 

"  Come  in,  Professor !"  exclaimed  the  Colonel,  as  I 
made  a  movement  to  pass  on.  "  Come  in  !  You  wit- 
ness here  an  affecting  drama  of  conjugal  reconciliation. 
I  find  it  impossible  upon  any  provocation  to  sunder  the 
ties  that  bind  me  to  the  beloved  partner  of  my  youth. 
There  has  been  a  compromise.  I  have  consented  to 
abandon  the  practice  of  requiring  soup  more  than  once, 
and  this  amiable  woman  agrees  no  longer  to  insist  upon 
the  dress-coat  for  dinner.  You  are  without  experience 
in  matrimony.  Let  it  be  impressed  upon  your  memory 
that  the  secret  of  happiness  is  compromise.  Mutual 
concession  is  the  basis  of  love,  and  love  means  peace. 


28  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

Once  more  the  Angel  of  Peace  spreads  his  white  wings 
over  this  sanctuary  of  the  affections." 

Lifting  her  head,  and  drying  her  eyes,  Mrs.  Bantam 
turned  to  me,  and  with  joy  written  upon  her  face,  said : 

"  Have  you  ever  loved,  Mr.  Sprat  ?" 

I  was  compelled  to  admit  that  the  experience  was 
unknown  to  me. 

"  Ah !"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Bantam,  "  only  those  who 
have  loved  can  know  the  perfect  bliss  that  comes  from 
such  reconciliations  as  this.  I  would  willingly  give  my 
life  for  my  best  and  bravest.  The  Colonel  has  spoken 
of  compromise.  Call  it  that  if  you  will,  but  no  con- 
siderations of  apparel,  however  imperious  may  be. the 
requirements  of  social  usage,  shall  tear  me  from  the 
bosom  of  my  beloved." 

Having  expressed,  I  fear  with  some  awkwardness, 
my  pleasure  that  these  two  hearts  beat  once  again  in 
unison,  I  turned  to  go,  but  Mrs.  Bantam  stopped  me. 

"  Dinner  is  waiting,"  she  said.    "  Give  me  your  arm." 

It  was  a  very  nice  dining-room,  looking  out  over  a 
side  porch  to  the  pretty  garden,  and  the  meal  was 
much  better  than  that  of  which  I  had  partaken  in  com- 
pany with  Tom  Driggs  at  the  Metropolitan  Hotel. 

There  were  two  other  persons  present  besides  Colo- 
nel and  Mrs.  Bantam,  and  both  were  agreeable.  When 
the  Colonel  had  said  grace  in  words  of  four  syllables, 
and  with  the  manner  of  a  man  who  prides  himself 
upon  his  skill  in  elocution,  he  introduced  me  to  the 
other  boarders,  Mr.  Emerson  Spiker,  editor  of  the 
National  Defender  of  Happy  Hollow,  and  Miss  Elmira 
Bantam,  the  Colonel's  daughter,  who  was  a  member 
of  the  Blair  County  bar. 

Miss  Bantam  was  fair  to  look  upon,  and  she  had  an 


MRS.   BANTAM.  29 

intellectual  face;  but,  while  she  was  pleasant,  her 
manner  inclined  to  reserve,  as  if  she  felt  that  the 
fluency  of  her  father  and  her  mother  needed  to  be 
checked  by  the  influence  of  example. 

Mr.  Spiker  talked  much  and  well,  and  before  dinner 
was  ended  he  had  asked  Miss  Elmira  and  me  and  the 
Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  to  go  with  him  that  very 
evening  to  see  the  performance  of  Uncle  Tom's  Cabin 
at  the  Grand  Opera  House.  Believing  that  he  saw  in 
my  countenance  a  purpose  to  decline  this  invitation,  he 
whispered  to  me : 

"  It  is  complimentary,  you  know.  I  am  on  the  free 
list  for  everything." 

Under  these  circumstances  I  consented  to  go. 

"  You  must  go,  Mr.  Sprat,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam.  Our 
darling  niece,  Ruby  Bonner,  is  to  appear  in  the  piece." 

I  had  some  curiosity  to  see  Ruby  Bonner. 


dinner  Colonel  Bantam  said  he 
must  return  to  his  office  to  hear  the  police  report  for 
the  day,  and  he  asked  me  if  I  would  have  the  goodness 
to  escort  Mrs.  Bantam  to  the  play.  He  promised  to 
meet  us  there.  Mr.  Spiker  was  compelled  to  go 
around  to  his  place  of  business  to  read  some  final 
proofs  and  to  send  his  paper  to  the  press,  and  Miss 
Bantam  had  a  consultation  with  a  client  at  her  office 
at  seven  o'clock.  Both  the  editor  and  Miss  Bantam 
agreed  to  be  with  us  before  the  performance  began. 

Mrs.  Bantam  was  really  an  agreeable  companion, 
and,  as  we  walked  slowly  toward  the  Grand  Opera 
House,  she  gave  me  some  interesting  information.  It 
seems  that  Ruby  Bonner,  the  little  Eva  who  was  to 
appear  in  the  play,  was  the  daughter  of  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam's brother,  Amos  Bonner.  Amos  had  been  badly 

3° 


THE  TOMMERS.  31 

treated.  Years  ago  his  wife  left  him,  taking  the  child 
Ruby  with  her ;  and  Amos,  unable  to  find  mother  or 
child,  had  gone  to  Australia  disgusted  with  life.  He 
had  never  written  to  any  member  of  his  family,  but 
rumors  had  come  around  the  world  that  he  was  suc- 
cessful in  some  unknown  occupation,  and  so  Mrs. 
Bantam  talked  with  interest  and  affection  of  "  my 
brother  Amos."  "  The  house  in  which  we  live,"  she 
added,  "  was  his  home,  and  it  still  belongs  to  him." 

The  matter  that  most  strongly  engaged  my  attention 
was  that  Amos  Bonner's  wife  had  fled  with  the  brother 
of  Dr.  Bulfinch,  named  Simon  Bulfinch,  and  Simon  had 
left  behind  him  a  wife  and  boy  who  were  then  living  in 
Happy  Hollow,  fondly  cared  for  by  Dr.  Bulfinch,  who, 
it  appeared  (and  the  fact  imparted  pathos  to  the  situa- 
tion), had  been  rejected  by  the  poor  woman  before  she 
married  his  rascally  brother. 

"  But  why,"  I  asked,  "  do  you  permit  Ruby  to  remain 
upon  the  stage  among  so  many  temptations  ?" 

"  Her  mother  put  her  there,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam, 
"  when  the  girl  was  very  young,  and  she  played  child- 
parts  successfully.  Now  that  she  is  older  Miss  Mor- 
timer has  half  adopted  her,  and  the  child  is  unwilling 
to  come  with  us  because — well,  you  know  that  the 
Colonel  has  not  yet  succeeded  in  bringing  to  what  I 
may  call  a  triumphant  culmination  the  plans  which  we 
both  feel  sure  will  yet  give  us  riches  beyond  the 
dreams  of  avarice." 

There  was  no  difficulty  to  comprehend  the  situation, 
and  the  curiosity  I  had  already  felt  to  look  at  Ruby 
was  considerably  increased. 

The  Grand  Opera  House  was  a  shabby  old  barrack, 
with  the  auditorium  upon  the  level  of  the  street,  and 


32  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

with  uncleanliness  and  discomfort  as  its  most  striking 
features. 

When  I  went  in  with  Mrs.  Bantam  the  doorkeeper 
informed  us  that  the  company  had  just  arrived  at  the 
theatre,  the  train  upon  which  it  had  come  to  the  town 
having  been  somewhat  delayed.  About  a  dozen  per- 
sons were  present  as  we  took  our  seats,  but  in  a  few 
moments  the  Colonel  came  and  Miss  Bantam  and  Mr. 
Spiker;  and  by  eight  o'clock  there  may  have  been 
seventy-five  or  a  hundred  people  in  the  house. 

"  Paper,  most  of  it,"  said  Mr.  Spiker,  rising  and  look- 
ing around.  "  There  are  not  fifty  dollars  in  the  place." 

Then  the  orchestra  of  four  pieces  came  out  from  the 
mysterious  aperture  below  the  stage,  and,  after  pre- 
liminary twanging  of  strings  and  trilling  of  the  flute, 
began  to  play  a  negro  melody.  This  ended,  another 
and  still  another  air  suggestive  of  life  upon  the  planta- 
tion were  produced. 

The  music  brought  reminiscences  to  Colonel  Ban- 
tam's mind.  Turning  to  me,  he  said  : 

"  Frightful  thing,  sir,  that  institution  of  slavery ! 
When  President  Lincoln  asked  my  advice  about  issuing 
the  Emancipation  Proclamation,  I  said  to  him  :  '  Fling 
it  to  the  world,  Mr.  President!  Exterminate  the  un- 
natural institution,'  and  afterward  he  sent  me  the  first 
rough  draft  of  the  document  and  asked  me  to  run  my 
eye  over  it.  I  suggested  several  emendations,  which 
you  can  find  in  the  official  copy." 

Still  the  curtain  did  not  rise,  and  the  orchestra  played 
"  My  Old  Kentucky  Home  "  for  the  fifth  time. 

When  the  concluding  strain  had  been  reached  Colo- 
nel Bantam  leaned  over  to  the  editor  and  asked: 

"  Anything  from  Wall  Street,  to-day  ?" 


THE  TOMMERS.  33 

"  Not  that  I  know  of.  I  don't  follow  such  matters 
closely,"  responded  Mr.  Spiker. 

"Ah!"  exclaimed  Colonel  Bantam,  leaning  back 
again  in  his  seat,  "  I  keep  in. close  touch  with  the  street 
and  my  interests  there.  My  last  advices  indicated  a 
feverish  condition  of  the  market." 

While  the  Colonel  spoke  there  were  sounds  of  an 
altercation  behind  the  curtain. 

"  A.  J.  is  having  trouble,  I  guess,"  said  the  editor. 

The  orchestra  returned  to  "  Way  Down  Upon  the 
Suwanee  River,"  and  played  fortissimo  with  a  manifest 
purpose  to  disguise  the  fact  that  A.  J.  was  having 
trouble.  The  audience  showed  as  much  impatience  as 
if  it  had  been  a  cash  audience  and  not  a  paper  audi- 
ence. 

At  last  the  curtain  rose,  revealing  the  interior  of 
Uncle  Tom's  cabin,  with  the  black  people  engaged  in 
a  prayer-meeting.  They  sang  the  hymn  as  joyously 
as  if  no  wave  of  trouble  had  ever  rolled  across  A.  J.'s 
peaceful  breast. 

The  first  thrill  was  given  to  the  spectators  when 
Julie  Mortimer,  as  Eliza,  dashed  into  the  room  with 
her  babe  in  her  arms,  and  flying  to  the  embrace  of 
George,  her  husband,  declared  that  death  alone  should 
part  her  from  him. 

Colonel  Bantam  wept  copiously  and  ostentatiously. 
I  feared  for  a  time  that  the  vehemence  of  emotion 
would  compel  him  to  withdraw  to  the  lobby ;  but  his 
wife,  who  was  fairly  blinded  by  tears,  contrived  to  in- 
duce him  to  restrain  himself. 

In  fact,  everybody  cried — that  is,  everybody  but 
Miss  Bantam,  who  manifested  no  feeling  of  any  kind, 
unless  the  slight  smile  that  played  upon  her  lips  might 

3 


34  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

be  interpreted  as  indicating  scornfulness ;  and  Felix 
Acorn,  who  sat  in  the  very  front  row  of  the  parquet 
circle,  actually  appeared  to  be  making  an  effort  to 
look  as  if  he  felt  happy. 

When  the  curtain  fell  there  was  much  applause,  and 
it  was  deserved,  for  Miss  Mortimer  surely  had  mani- 
fested no  little  dramatic  power. 

The  leader  of  the  orchestra  brought  out  some  fresh 
music  and  whispered  to  the  first  violin ;  but  he  ap- 
peared to  change  his  mind,  for  "  Our  Old  Kentucky 
Home  "  was  heard  again. 

When,  after  much  waiting,  the  curtain  went  up 
again,  the  players  were  all  upon  the  stage  ready  for 
their  parts,  but  nobody  moved  or  spoke.  Then  Uncle 
Tom  came  forward,  hat  in  hand,  and  said  to  the  audi- 
ence: 

"  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  Pelican  owes  us  for  four 
weeks'  salaries,  and  we  will  cut  the  play  off  right  here 
unless  he  pays  us  at  once." 

As  Uncle  Tom  retreated,  a  short  and  quite  stout 
man,  wearing  a  wig,  came  out  from  the  wings,  plainly 
in  a  state  of  much  agitation.  It  was  A.  J.  Pelican. 

When  he  began  to  speak  he  appeared  to  forget  that 
he  did  not  have  his  hat  with  him,  for  he  took  off  his 
wig  and  fanned  himself  with  it.  The  laughter  of  the 
audience  directed  his  attention  to  the  mistake  and  he 
replaced  the  wig  on  his  head,  backward.  Then,  as  the 
laughter  continued,  in  a  kind  of  desperation  he  re- 
moved the  wig  again  and  began  to  fan  himself  vigor- 
ously with  it,  while  he  said : 

"  Ladies  and  gentlemen  and  friends :  the  performance 
is  ended.  I  am  very  sorry,  but  I've  had  hard  luck  all 
through  this  trip.  There's  not  money  enough  in  the 


THE  TOMMERS. 


35 


house  to-night  to  pay  the  rent.  I  am  sorry  for  these 
poor  people  here,  sorry  for  you,  and  sorry  for  myself, 
for  I'm  a  ruined  man." 


Mr.  Pelican  explains. 

Then  A.  J.  Pelican,  with  his  wig  in  his  hand,  walked 


36  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

off  of  the  stage,  followed  by  Uncle  Tom  and  Eliza  and 
all  the  company ;  and  the  curtain  fell. 

Mr.  Spiker  showed  more  feeling  than  any  other  per- 
son in  the  audience.  It  would  be  hard  to  express  in 
language  the  disgust  written  upon  his  face  when,  turn- 
ing to  me,  he  said  : 

"  It's  a  nice  mess  for  me,  Mr.  Sprat !  I've  got  a 
criticism  of  the  thing  in  type,  speaking  in  terms  of 
warm  praise  of  the  pathos  of  the  fourth  act,  and  re- 
marking of  Eva's  apotheosis  in  the  last  act  that  it  sur- 
passed in  effectiveness  anything  ever  before  attempted 
in  Happy  Hollow.  Pretty  hard  luck,  isn't  it  ?" 

"  Well  you  can  cancel  it,  can't  you  ?" 

"  Cancel  it !  Why,  man,  it's  on  my  inside,  and  my 
inside  went  to  press  at  eight  o'clock." 

I  said  it  was  too  bad. 

"  Yes,"  he  answered  gloomily,  "  bad  enough,  and 
that's  not  the  worst  of  it.  I  printed  all  these  pro- 
grammes, and  Pelican  owes  me  for  them  and  for  thirty 
lines  agate-measure  for  ten  days  for  his  ad.  I'll  never 
get  a  cent.  The  Defender  '11  go  into  bankruptcy  if  this 
kind  of  thing  continues." 

We  walked  slowly  up  the  aisle  toward  the  door  and 
everybody  felt  sorry  for  Pelican.  Colonel  Bantam  said 
he  would  head  a  subscription  paper  to  help  him  out  of 
his  trouble,  and  I  believe  he  would  have  done  so,  in  large, 
bold  letters,  for  a  large  sum,  if  pen  and  paper  had  been 
at  hand.  The  Colonel's  generous  impulses  were  always 
out  of  correspondence  with  his  financial  condition. 

While  we  spoke  softly  and  sadly  of  the  collapse  of 
A.  J.  Pelican's  Stupendous  Star  Combination,  Felix 
Acorn  brushed  by  me,  and,  looking  once  more  down- 
cast, he  said  : 


THE   TOMMERS. 


37 


"  There  never  was  no  such  nigger  as  Uncle  Tom. 
The  whole  thing  is  an  imposition  on  the  public." 

Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  asked  me  to  go  with 
them  to  the  green  room,  where  they  should  greet 
Ruby  and  take  her  to  their  home. 

"  It  is,"  said  the  Colonel,  as  we 
walked  around  the  lobby  toward 
the  stage-door,  "  not  only  a  sacred 
obligation,  but  a  high 
to    provide    a    refuge 
storm  for  that  shorn 
lamb." 

As    we    entered 
the  green  room  we 
saw   Julie 
Mortimer 
dressed   for 
the     street, 


privil 
from 


Ruby  and  Julie. 

and  sitting  upon  a  sofa  by  the  win- 
dow, holding  the  hand  of  Ruby, 
who  sat  beside  her.     On  the  floor  lay  the  two  blood- 
hounds with  tongues  out  and  panting,  while  with  heads 
raised  they  looked  from  one  member  of  the  company 


38  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

to  another,  as  if  they  wondered  why  the  stage-call  for 
them  did  not  come. 

A.  J.  Pelican  stood  over  in  the  corner  looking  very 
unhappy,  while  Uncle  Tom  and  Legree  and  other 
personages  of  the  drama  talked  with  him. 

No  sooner  did  Ruby  perceive  Mrs.  Bantam  than  she 
rose  and  flew  into  the  good  woman's  arms,  and  putting 
her  pretty  head  upon  her  aunt's  bosom,  fell  to  sob- 
bing. 

The  Colonel  held  out  his  arms  toward  Julie  Morti- 
mer, and  seemed  surprised  and  grieved  that  that  lovely 
woman  did  not  fly  to  his  embrace  and  put  her  head 
upon  his  breast  and  weep.  But  Miss  Mortimer  did 
not  move  until  A.  J.  Pelican,  pushing  through  the 
crowd  about  him,  came  forward  and  greeted  the  Colo- 
nel. Then,  when  Colonel  Bantam  had  grasped  the 
manager's  hand  and  had  whispered  words  of  sympathy, 
the  Colonel  said : 

"  And  now,  Mr.  Pelican,  introduce  me  to  the  lovely 
sufferer  over  there." 

Turning  to  Miss  Mortimer,  A.  J.  Pelican  said  : 

"  Julie,  this  is  Colonel  Bantam,  Mayor  of  the  town, 
and  Ruby's  uncle." 

Miss  Mortimer  rose  and  greeted  the  Colonel  gra- 
ciously, while  he,  seizing  her  hand,  raised  it  to  his  lips 
and  said : 

"  Madame,  deign  to  receive  the  homage  of  one  who 
is  always  a  worshipper  at  the  shrine  of  beauty !" 

Miss  Mortimer  smiled  as  the  Colonel  released  her 
hand,  and,  raising  his  body,  put  himself  into  the  posi- 
tion of  "  parade-rest." 

"  You  are  more  than  kind,"  she  said. 

"  No,    no !     Not    kind,    hardly    just,"    replied    the 


THE   TOMMERS.  39 

Colonel.  "  It  would  be  completely  impossible,  Miss 
Julia,  to  exaggerate  the  nobility  of  your  impersona- 
tion." 

"  Not  '  Julia,' "  interposed  A.  J.  Pelican,  laying  his 
hand  gently  upon  the  Colonel's  arm.  "  Her  name  is 
Julie,  pronounced  z-z-joolie,  with  a  slight  buzzing  sound 
on  the  J." 

"  I  am  your  debtor,  sir,  for  the  correction,"  said  the 
Colonel,  bowing  to  him.  "  I  thank  you.  My  mastery 
of  the  French  methods  of  pronunciation  is  by  no 
means  so  nearly  complete  as  I  could  wish.  But  Miss 
Julie  will  not  care  for  so  trifling  a  circumstance  as 
indifferent  accuracy  in  the  matter  of  pronouncing  her 
name,  when  I  tell  her  that  her  histrionic  genius  stirred 
the  deepest  recesses  of  my  nature." 

"  Not  quite  that,  I  think,"  said  Miss  Mortimer, 
laughing. 

"Quite  that!  Much  more  than  that!"  said  the 
Colonel,  reaching  for  his  handkerchief  and  wiping 
from  his  eyes  the  tears  that  flowed  from  the  impulse 
supplied  by  the  memory  of  Julie's  performance.  "  I 
must  speak  of  the  surpassing  splendor  of  your  imper- 
sonation. You  swept  the  strings  of  feeling  with  the 
fingers  of  inspiration.  Mrs.  Siddons  in  the  day  of  her 
glory  couldn't  have  surpassed  you." 

Before  Miss  Mortimer  could  reply,  Mrs.  Bantam, 
with  her  arm  about  Ruby,  turned  to  the  Colonel,  who 
embraced  the  young  girl  and  kissed  her,  and  said  : 

"  No  more  tears,  my  child !  After  the  storm,  the 
sunshine.  The  clouds  are  dissipated.  We  take  you 
into  the  fold.  Uncle  and  aunty  clasp  you  to  their 
loving  hearts.  Come  with  us  to  that  haven  of  peace 
which  bears  the  hallowed  name  of  home.  Come !" 


40  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  And  Julie,  too,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam. 

"  Of  course,  certainly,"  said  the  Colonel,  turning 
quickly  toward  Miss  Mortimer,  and  extending  his  arms 
again,  as  if  he  hoped  she  might  have  an  affectionate 
and  better  second  thought,  and  conclude  to  pillow  her 
head  upon  his  bosom.  "Julie  understands,  of  course, 
that  our  home  is  hers." 

Miss  Mortimer  began  to  explain  that  she  thought  it 
better  to  remain  at  the  hotel. 

"  No  !"  exclaimed  the  Colonel,  vehemently.  "  Never ! 
Never !  I  will  never  consent  to  it.  What !  the  adopted 
mother  of  this  darling  child  doomed  to  the  loneliness 
of  a  house  of  public  entertainment !  My  whole  nature 
revolts  at  the  thought." 

"  We  could  not  bear  it,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  warmly. 

"  I  welcome  you,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  to  the  shelter 
of  my  humble  roof-tree.  My  house  is  yours  ;  take  it, 
empty  it !  The  wolf  may  howl  at  the  door,  but  no 
child  of  genius  shall  fall  a  victim  to  his  ravening  fury 
while  the  hand  of  Joseph  Bantam  is  on  the  knob  ! 
Come!" 

So,  then,  the  Colonel  placed  Miss  Mortimer's  arm  in 
his,  while  Mrs.  Bantam  and  I  walked  with  Ruby,  to 
whom  Mrs.  Bantam  introduced  me. 

We  bade  good-bye  to  A.  J.  Pelican  and  to  the  actors, 
and  going  through  the  stage-door  to  the  street,  walked 
slowly  toward  the  Colonel's  house. 

Ruby  Bonner  seemed  much  pleased  to  be  with  her 
aunt,  and  as  we  went  homeward  she  talked  freely  of 
all  the  misadventures  of  A.  J.  Pelican's  Stupendous 
Star  Combination,  and  told  us  how  the  season  had  been 
a  failure.  Then  ^he  said  : 

"  Poor   Mr.   Pelican !  It  has   been  very  hard  for  all 


THE   TOMMERS.  41 

the  members  of  the  company,  but  nobody  blames 
him." 

When  we  reached  the  house  the  Colonel  released 
himself  from  Miss  Mortimer's  arm,  and  dashing  ahead 
of  the  party,  opened  the  front  door.  Drawing  himself 
up  like  a  sentry  on  duty,  he  saluted  each  of  us  with  a 
wave  of  his  cane  as  we  passed  through  the  portal  to 
the  hall.  Then,  closing  the  door,  he  followed  the 
company  into  the  parlor,  where,  once  more  standing 
stiffly  erect  and  making  a  gesture  of  welcome,  he 
said : 

"  The  hearthstone  of  valor,  if  I  may  be  permitted  to 
employ  the  expression,  is  honored  by  the  foot-steps  of 
genius  !  Julie  !  Ruby  !  Your  wanderings  are  over ! 
It  is  the  proud  privilege  of  Joseph  Bantam  to  say  to 
you  :  Weary  pilgrims,  rest." 

While  Mrs.  Bantam  led  Ruby  and  Miss  Mortimer 
upstairs  the  Colonel  and  I  sat  by  the  fireside  awaiting 
their  return.  It  was  not  yet  late,  and  the  Colonel  was 
glowing  with  the  happiness  that  always  follows  the 
performance  of  an  act  of  benevolence. 

I  sat  and  looked  at  the  sword  which  Mrs.  Bantam 
had  hung  above  the  mantel  and  draped  with  the  Amer- 
ican flag,  to  which  was  pinned  a  placard  bearing  the 
inscription  "  The  Sword  of  Gettysburg,"  and  the  Colo- 
nel talked  of  Julie  Mortimer. 

"  Did  you  ever  see  her  equal,  Professor  ?  Her  intel- 
lect shines  like  a  star.  We  shall  simply  bask  in  the 
radiance  of  her  marvellous  genius,  shall  we  not  ?  And 
Ruby,  dear  babe !  she  will  fill  this  humble  dwelling 
with  reminiscences  of  the  little  one  who  was  snatched 
away  from  us  by  the  grim  reaper." 

Then  the  Colonel   drew   out  his  handkerchief  and 


IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


touched  his  eyes  with  it.    I  arose  to  look  more  closely 
at  the  sword. 

"  You  are  attracted  by  that  implement  of  war?"  said 
the  Colonel.  "  Inspect  it  closely.  It  is  worthy  of  your 
consideration.  With  that  very  sword  I  held  back 
Pickett's  charge  at  Gettysburg.  It  is  stained  with 

blood  and  consecrated  by 
hallowed  memories.  I  do 
not  like  to  speak  of  it  ex- 
cepting to  those  I  love, 
but  General  Grant  said  he 
would  rather  be  the  owner 
of  Colonel  Bantam's  sword 
than  be  President  of  the 
United  States." 

"  You  knew  Grant  ?"  I 
asked. 

"  Knew  him  !  The  word 
'  knew  '  is  inadequate.  You 
recall  David  and  Jonathan  ? 
Our  souls  blended.  But 
the  fact  is  ; — no  matter ; — 
I  had  thought  to  say; — 
however,  perhaps  I  need 


Bantam  at  Gettysburg. 


not  hesitate  to  speak  it  in 
the  confidence  of  my  own 

home.     I  had  an  impulse  to   remark  that  I  consider 
Grant's  fame  much  beyond  his  real  merit." 
"  What  is  your  theory  about  it  ?" 
"Why,  just  this:  I  told  President  Lincoln  early  in 
the  war  that  if  I  could  have  a  perfectly  free  hand  I 
would  suppress  the  rebellion  in  eight  weeks.     Grant 
took  years  to  do  it. 


THE  TOMMERS.  43 

"  You  had  a  plan  ?" 

"  A  perfectly  simple  one,  sir.  I  should  have  stretched 
the  armies  in  a  line  from  the  Potomac  to  the  Ohio,  and 
simply  driven  the  entire  Confederate  force  step  by  step 
into  the  Gulf  of  Mexico.  Mr.  Lincoln  was  with  me, 
but  he  was  overruled  by  his  cabinet.  Oceans  of  blood 
were  shed  uselessly  because  the  President  was  not 
permitted  to  accept  my  system. 

At  this  juncture  Mrs.  Bantam  and  Julie  and  Ruby 
entered  the  parlor,  and  Mr.  Spiker,  coming  into  the 
house  and  placing  his  hat  upon  the  rack  in  the  hall- 
way, entered  the  room  with  them.  He  looked  down- 
cast, but  he  expressed  pity  for  Pelican,  whom  he  had 
arranged  to  meet  at  his  office  in  the  morning.  Just  as 
he  had  finished  speaking,  Elmira  Bantam  joined  us, 
and  greeted  the  newcomers  affectionately. 

The  Bantams  talked  with  Julie  and  Ruby  about  the 
catastrophe  that  had  befallen  the  company  of  players, 
and  then  about  the  future  of  the  woman  and  the  girl 
who  had  been  compelled  by  A.  J.  Pelican's  failure  to 
abandon  the  means  by  which  they  had  been  used  to 
earn  money.  Miss  Mortimer  had  no  regrets  for  her- 
self. 

"  I  am  tired  of  it,"  she  said.  "Tired  of  strolling 
about  and  of  associating  with  rough  people  and  of  facing 
audiences.  I  should  have  given  it  up  long  ago  but 
for  Ruby,  and  I  am  not  sorry  she  has  been  compelled 
to  quit  the  stage.  It  is  not  a  good  business  for  her, 
but  she  seemed  to  have  no  other  way  of  maintaining 
herself." 

"  We  shall  care  for  her  now,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam. 

"  She  may  repose  securely,"  added  the  Colonel, 
"  upon  the'  strong  arm  of  Uncle  Bantam." 


44  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  I  should  go  to  school,  uncle/'  said  Ruby. 

"And  you  shall,"  replied  the  Colonel,  extending  his 
hand  to  pat  her  golden  hair.  "  You  shall  drink  deep 
of  the  springs  of  learning,  and  no  doubt  our  friend  the 
Professor  will  help  to  press  rich  draughts  of  knowledge 
to  those  lovely  lips.  Won't  you,  Professor?" 

"  I  will  do  what  I  can,"  I  said,  not  displeased  to 
think  that  I  might  have  so  charming  a  pupil. 

And  so  it  was  arranged  that  Ruby  Bonner  should 
stay  with  us  and  should  try  to  complete  her  educa- 
tion, while  Julie  also  should  remain  and  endeavor  to 
maintain  herself  by  literary  work. 

"  I  have  written  much,  and  nearly  always  with  suc- 
cess," said  Miss  Mortimer.  "  Really,  I  have  made 
and  saved  money  by  writing,  and  I  am  sure  I  shall 
find  profitable  employment." 

"What,  may  I  ask,"  inquired  the  Colonel,  turning 
to  her  and  bowing,  "  is  the  special  department  of  liter- 
ature in  which  you  have  achieved  these  triumphs  ?" 

"  I  write  stories,"  said  Miss  Mortimer,  modestly, 
"  usually  short  stories.  I  find  it  rather  easy  work  to 
write  them,  and  I  get  good  prices  for  them.  I  have 
three  or  four  in  my  satchel  now." 

"  Here  ?"  demanded  Colonel  Bantam,  leaping  to  his 
feet  and  manifesting  some  excitement.  "  With  you  ? 
In  this  house  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Grand  !"  exclaimed  the  Colonel.  "  We  must  hear 
one  of  them.  May  I  beg,  as  a  personal  favor  to  one 
whom  you  have  already  thrilled  with  the  manifesta- 
tion of  your  genius,  that  you  will  this  very  night  read 
one  of  your  stories  to  this  assembled  company?" 

Miss  Mortimer  was  diffident  and  reluctant,  but  she 


THE  TOMMERS. 


45 


could  not  be  ungracious  when  Mrs.  Bantam  and 
Ruby,  and  Mr.  Spiker  and  I,  and  even  Elmira,  warmly 
seconded  the  Colonel's  appeal.  She  went  to  her  room 
and  returned  with  the 
manuscript. 

It  was  a  pretty  story, 
and  she   read  it  with 
singular     grace,     and 
when  she  reached  the 
scene  where    the    de- 
serted     mo- 
ther held  her 
dying  child 
in    her   arms 
and  mourned 
over     it,    all 
of  us  wept. 

Mrs.    Ban- 
tam put  both   elbows 
upon  the  centre-table 
and  bedewed  with  her 
tears  the  great  clasped 
family  Bible,  while  her 
back    hair    began    to 
come    down.     It   was 
really  odd,  and  I  do  not 
at  all  under- 
stand it,  but 
Mrs.    Ban- 
tam's   haii- 
always    gave 
way  whenever  she  cried. 

Ruby's  eyes  glistened,  though  she  dried  her  tears 


46  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

again  and  again.  Spiker  pretended  to  be  asleep,  but 
the  drops  oozed  from  his  closed  lids,  while  I  did  not 
try  to  hide  my  feelings.  The  Colonel,  as  usual,  was 
most  deeply  moved.  His  sobs  were  actually  convul- 
sive ;  the  movements  of  his  frame,  as  he  yielded  to  the 
storm  of  passion,  shook  the  chandelier.  Mrs.  Bantam 
was  at  last  compelled  to  turn  away  from  the  centre- 
table  and  to  try  to  calm  him  by  putting  her  arm  about 
him  and  softly  saying,  "  Joseph  !" 

Elmira  alone  seemed  unmoved.  She  sat  by  the 
card-table  over  by  the  fireplace  and  glared  at  Mr. 
Spiker.  I  really  think  she  was  trying  to  maintain 
strong  restraint  upon  her  feelings,  and  while  she 
glared  and  looked  hard  and  stern,  she  drummed  upon 
the  table  with  the  fingers  of  her  right  hand. 

When  the  tale  was  ended,  and  there  was  a  move- 
ment all  around  the  little  circle  to  return  the  handker- 
chiefs to  the  pockets,  Elmira  said : 

"  Women  need  to  free  themselves  from  these  tear- 
practices.  Let  the  men  do  the .  crying,  if  there  must 
be  crying.  Dry  up  the  tear-ducts,  I  say !" 

"  Elmira,"  said  the  Colonel  sternly,  removing  the 
traces  of  tears  from  his  temple  with  his  forefinger, 
"  have  you  no  heart  ?  Didn't  you  see  the  men  crying 
too  ?  These  are  not  tears  of  weakness.  They  are 
the  tribute  of  sensibility  to  the  eloquence  of  genius. 
Julie  has  unsurpassed  effectiveness  in  unsealing  the 
fountains  of  emotion.  I  thank  you  my  child,"  he 
said,  turning  to  Julie.  "  Hard  is  the  heart  that  can 
remain  untouched  when  you  strike  it  with  the  wand 
of  your  pathetic  eloquence." 

But  Elmira  Bantam  was  still  grim  and  resolute. 

"  I  find  no  fault,"  she  said,  "  with  the  literary  art  or 


THE  TOMMERS.  47 

the  elocution  ;  both  are  admirable.  They  do  credit  to 
American  womanhood.  But  we  all  need  to  look  at 
life  coldly.  Eliminate  emotion.  Life  is  frigid  fact, 
and  woman  particularly  should  learn  that  lesson. 
Emotion  may  be  employed  with  juries.  Juries  are 
men.  Make  them  cry  if  you  can,  and  you  want  a 
verdict  not  warranted  by  the  evidence ;  but  women 
should  cry  only  when  there  is  something  to  cry  for, 
and  not  much  even  then." 

"  I  am  shocked  to  hear  such  unwomanly  sentiments," 
said  the  Colonel,  "  from  the  lips  of  my  own  offspring." 

"And  then,"  continued  Elmira,  without  noticing  her 
father's  observation,  "  while  there  is  much  grace  and  no 
little  ingenuity  in  the  construction  of  the  tale  to  which 
we  have  listened,  you  will  find  it,  when  you  look  into 
it  with  the  cold  light  of  reason,  defective  in  important 
particulars." 

"  How  can  you  say  so,  Elmira,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam 
sorrowfully. 

"  It  is  most  distressing,"  added  the  Colonel. 

"  For  example,"  continued  Elmira,  "  you  say  plainly 
that  the  wife  had  no  power  to  compel  the  husband  to 
return  home.  Now  Judge  Stokes,  in  a  Maryland  court, 
has  decided,  and  in  my  opinion  justly,  that  in  such  a 
case  the  wife  may  seize  the  wretch  by  the  collar  and 
drag  him  home,  if  moral  suasion  will  not  suffice." 

"  Elmira,"  said  the  Colonel  warmly,  "  it  is  little  short 
of  outrageous  to  attempt  to  apply  these  stupid  legal 
principles  to  a  tender  little  drama  of  sentiment." 

"  The  character  to  whom  you  have  given  the  name 
of  Ezra  is  plunged  into  a  dungeon  upon  clearly  fabri- 
cated evidence  and  chained  there.  Think  of  it !  Where 
did  you  say  was  the  scene  of  the  tale  ?" 


48  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  In  a  town  in  Pennsylvania,"  said  Miss  Mortimer. 

"  Exactly,"  rejoined  Elmira.  "  In  the  first  place,  no 
magistrate  who  wished  to  avoid  impeachment  would 
commit  a  man  upon  such  evidence ;  and  if  the  man 
were  committed  he  would  not  be  chained,  and  I  would 
have  him  out  upon  a  writ  of  habeas  corpus  in  about 
fifteen  minutes,  instead  of  shedding  useless  tears  over 
him." 

"  There  is  force,"  said  Mr.  Spiker,  "  in  Miss  Bantam's 
view." 

"  Do  not,  sir,  if  you  please,"  said  the  Colonel  sternly, 
"  aid  and  abet  her  in  this  repulsive  vivisection  of  a 
creation  of  the  imagination." 

"  It  is  just  horrid  in  you,  Elmira,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam. 

"  I  need  hardly  speak  of  your  reference  to  the 
removal  of  the  living  child  from  the  custody  of  the 
mother  while  she  weeps  over  the  child  that  dies.  The 
Supreme  Court  long  ago,  in  a  dozen  cases,  decided 
that  the  mother's  right  of  possession  under  the  condi- 
tions referred  to  is  absolutely  indisputable.  Show  me 
a  case  of  that  kind,  and  I'll  give  the  child  to  the 
mother,  and  have  the  father  locked  up  if  he  doesn't 
behave  himself." 

Colonel  Bantam  rose  and  left  the  room,  unable  to 
listen  any  longer  with  patience. 

"  You  understand,  Miss  Mortimer,"  said  Elmira, 
rising  and  putting  her  hand  upon  Julie's  shoulder, 
"  that  I  admire  your  work  very  much,  even  if  I  criticise 
it.  We  women  need  to  stand  by  each  other  and  I 
want  to  stand  by  you  in  your  brave  fight  against  the 
world  that  refuses  to  give  us  fair  play." 

Julie  rose  and  kissed  her,  and  Elmira  looked  as  if 
she  wanted  to  urge  the  view  that  women  should 


THE  TOMMERS. 


49 


release  themselves  also  from  kissing  practices,  but  she 
did  not.  She  pressed  Julie's  hand  and  smiled,  and 
after  some  desultory  conversation  we  went  to  our 
rooms. 

On  the  stairs  Spiker  invited  me  to  come  to  his  office 
in  the  morning,  the  last  week-day  morning  I  should 
have  before  my  duties  began  at  Dr.  Bulfinch's  school. 

4 


of  the  National  Defender  was  in  a  frame  building  two 
stories  high  and  next  door  to  the  post-office  on  the 
main  street.  Ascending  a  narrow  staircase,  without 
balusters,  which  ran  between  whitewashed  walls 
covered  with  the  grime  of  printers'  ink,  and  laced  over 
by  the  lead-pencil  scribbling  of  idle  travellers  up  and 
down  the  stairs,  I  reached  a  landing  with  a  door  at 
the  right.  Pushing  open  the  unpainted  door,  also 
darkened  by  ink,  and  shut  by  a  weight  affixed  to  a 
rope  running  over  a  pulley,  I  came  into  the  room  where 
the  compositors  worked.  Threading  my  way  among 
the  cases,  I  came  to  the  editor's  room  in  the  front  of 
the  building. 

Mr.  Spiker  sat  in  an  armless  chair  at  a  desk  littered 
with  papers  and  dotted  with  ink-stains.     He  had  his 
50 


A.  J.  PELICAN   SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.    51 

pen  in  his  mouth  as  I  entered  the  room,  and  was 
engaged  in  clipping  from  a  newspaper  some  material 
for  his  next  day's  edition. 

The  editor  was  a  small  man  with  a  small  mouth 
shaded  by  a  scanty  moustache ;  with  sharp  gray  eyes, 
lean  jaws,  a  pointed  chin,  and  a  head  of  good  shape 
with  reddish  hair,  just  now  in  much  disorder.  He  was 
about  thirty-five  years  old.  I  judged  from  his  appear- 
ance and  the  appearance  of  his  establishment  that  the 
National  Defender was  not  in  large  measure  a  prosper- 
ous journal. 

Mr.  Spiker  put  his  pen  upon  his  desk  and  laid  down 
his  scissors  as  I  came  in,  and,  after  greeting  me  warmly, 
he  pushed  the  paste-pot  over  by  a  pile  of  exchanges, 
placed  his  feet  upon  a  corner  of  the  desk,  and  asked 
rne  to  sit  down  and  be  comfortable.  As  I  gazed  about 
me,  Mr.  Spiker  said : 

"  Not  much  of  a  place  to  look  at,  is  it  ?  But  there 
is  power  in  here  that  is  felt  all  over  the  country.  You 
wouldn't  give  much  for  that  desk,  would  you  ?"  (and 
the  editor  pounded  it  with  his  fist)  "  and  yet  on  that 
desk,  mean  as  it  is,  public  opinion  is  formed.  That  is 
my  business  :  to  manufacture  public  opinion  ;  political 
scoundrels  tremble  when  that  pen  runs  backward  and 
forward  over  that  old  desk." 

"  No  doubt,"  I  answered,  "  and  it  must  be  a  fine 
thing  to  sit  here  and  feel  that  the  written  word  has 
such  tremendous  force/' 

"Fine  enough  in  one  way,  from  the  editorial  side; 
but  from  the  business  side  most  exasperating.  It  is 
too  bad  that  a  man  cannot  be  permitted  to  wield  the 
pen  that  moves  the  world  without  being  harassed  and 
bothered  by  the  basest  and  most  sordid  money  trou- 


52  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

bles !  My  mind  and  hand  ought  to  be  free,  but  they 
are  shackled — yes,  that's  the  word,  shackled — by  these 
petty  and  ridiculous  dollar  considerations." 

"  You  have  to  manage  the  commercial  end  of  the 
thing,  do  you  ?" 

"  Yes,  of  course,  I  own  the  whole  paper." 

"  But  it  pays  ?" 

"  In  a  way  it  pays.  It  doesn't  pay  in  the  right  way, 
though." 

"  I  don't  understand  you." 

"  Why,  I'll  tell  you.  There  is  advertising  enough 
in  the  Defender,  but  the  trouble  is  most  of  it  is  paid 
for  in  trade." 

"  How  do  you  mean  ?" 

"  Nearly  everybody  wants  me  to  take  pay  for  ad- 
vertising in  goods  instead  of  in  cash.  It's  the  worst 
system !  This  suit  I  have  on  cost  me  fifteen  hundred 
lines  on  my  third  page.  My  shoes  stand  for  a  reading 
notice  under  the  Dead  and  Married  ads.  That  hat 
represents  thirty-four  lines  of  nonpareil  type  e.  o.  d.  t.  f. 
(every  other  day  till  forbid,  you  know),  and  the  man 
owes  me  sixteen  more  hats,  and  is  likely  to  owe  me 
sixty.  I  haven't  got  a  thing  on  me  that  isn't  running 
in  the  Defender  either  in  the  shape  of  an  agate  reading 
notice  or  a  display  ad.  Why,  hang  it,  man,  even  Felix 
Acorn  shaves  me  for  one  inch  four  times  a  month  in 
the  department  of  Home  and  Neighborhood.  I'm  sick 
of  the  system." 

"  Yet  you  get  what  you  want  for  your  comfort  ?" 

"  I  get  things  I  want  and  some  things  I  don't  want. 
I  don't  complain  so  much  about  hats  and  shoes  and 
clothing,  but  what  would  you  do  if  you  had  dozens  of 
washboards  and  coal-scuttles  and  slate  mantel-pieces." 


A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.     53 


"  I  hardly  know." 

"  Very  well !  I  have  'em  down  in  the  back  cellar 
behind  the  press-room,  and  three  sets  of  harness, 
although  I  can't  afford  a  horse.  And  chemical  fire- 
extinguishers  :  I  have 
eight  of  them  in  the 
cellar.  It's  not  the 
right  way  to  run  a 
business,  Mr.  Sprat, 
but  I  can't  help  it. 
The  advertisers  won't 
advertise  if  they  have 
to  pay  cash.  It  wor- 
ries me  a  good  deal 
sometimes  to  know 
how  to  make  the 
thing  work  out  even. 
Do  you  want  any 
tombstones  or  fire-proof  safes  ?" 

"  I  think  not;  not  just  now  at  any  rate." 

"Well,  if  you  happen  to  meet  a  man  who  does, 
won't  you  let  me  know?  That's  a  good  fellow.  I 
have  a  running  account  with  Martin,  the  marble-yard 
man,  and  with  a  safe  concern  in  the  city,  and  I  can't 
sell  a  safe  or  a  headstone.  I  should  judge  that  Martin 
must  owe  me  six  or  seven  good-sized  monuments,  and 
it  simply  makes  me  ill  when  I  think  of  the  safes  that 
are  due  to  me.  I  wish  you  were  married  and  going  to 
keep  house.  I  could  fit  you  right  out  with  tinware 
and  groceries,  and  at  reduced  rates,  too." 

"I'm  sorry  I'm  not.  But  you  must  get  some 
money?" 

"  Oh,  yes,  some  of  course ;  I  get  some.     But  half 


54  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

the  time  the  cash  ads.  are  not  paid  for.  There's  that 
theatrical  concern  of  Pelican's,  I  thought  there  was 
money  in  that,  for  sure,  but  you  see  how  it  has  turned 
out,  besides  making  the  Defender  ridiculous  by  break- 
ing down  after  the  notice  was  printed.  I  do  seem  to 
have  the  worst  luck." 

Just  at  that  moment  A.  J.  Pelican  came  into  the 
room,  after  rapping  timidly  upon  the  door.  Mr. 
Spiker  greeted  him  politely  and  asked  him  to  take  a 
chair.  Pelican  looked  sad  and  uncomfortable  as  he 
sat  there,  with  his  face  to  the  window,  twirling  his  hat 
in  his  hand  and  trying  to  frame  his  first  sentence. 

The  editor  was  not  unkindly. 

"  Pelican,  old  man,"  he  said,  "  you  have  my  sympathy 
and  I  ought  to  have  yours ;  but  I  believe  you  are  a 
square  man,  and  as  I  know  what  bad  luck  is,  I'm  not 
going  to  make  your  bad  luck  any  harder  by  scolding 
you." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Mr.  Pelican,  manifestly  much  re- 
lieved. 

"At  the  same  time,  A.  J.,"  continued  Spiker,  "if you 
could  really  manage  to  scrape  together  a  few  dollars,  so 
that  I  could  have  something  on  account,  I  would — " 

"  Can't  do  it,"  said  Pelican,  making  with  his  hand 
a  gesture  of  despair.  "  I  had  to  pawn  my  watch  to 
get  my  railroad  fare." 

"  Oh,  well,"  said  the  editor,  "  let  that  pass.  You  are 
going  away  at  once  ?" 

"This  afternoon." 

."You  wouldn't  care  to  do  a  little  work  to  earn 
something  for  a  few  days  ?" 

"  What  kind  of  work  ?" 

"  You  might  call  it  canvassing." 


A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.     55 

"  For  what  ?" 

"  I  was  just  saying  to  Sprat,  here,  that  I  have  a  lot 
of  stuff  on  hand,  taken  in  trade — safes,  tombstones, 
harness,  and  washboards — and  I  thought  maybe  you 
might  pick  up  a  dollar  here  and  there  for  yourself  and 
me  by  endeavoring  to  dispose  of — "  • 

"  Impossible,"  said  A.  J.  Pelican,  "  I  must  hurry 
back  to  town  to-day.  I  have  bigger  things  in  my 
mind  than  peddling  washboards.  The  fact  is,  I  came 
around  to  make  you  a  proposition  for  settlement  of 
your  claim  against  me." 

"  What  kind  of  a  proposition  ?"  asked  the  editor, 
with  a  look  of  suspicion  in  his  eyes. 

"  Are  you  fond  of  dogs  ?"  inquired  Mr.  Pelican. 

"  Not  so  very  fond  of  them." 

"  The  thought  occurred  to  me,"  said  the  manager, 
"  that  maybe  you'd  be  willing  to  take  the  two  blood- 
hounds for  your  bill  and  call  the  thing  square." 

Mr.  Spiker  removed  his  feet  from  his  desk  and 
laughed.  It  was  not  a  laugh  of  joyousness,  but 
rather  such  a  laugh  as  might  come  from  a  man  in  a 
semi-hysterical  condition.  The  editor  rose  from  his 
chair,  thrust  his  hands  deep  into  his  trowser-pockets, 
and  walked  to  the  window,  where  he  looked  into  the 
street.  Wheeling  about  suddenly,  he  said  : 

"  Bloodhounds,  hey  !  And  that's  what  it  has  come 
to !  Bloodhounds !  Well,  I  never  expected  that. 
Imagine,  Sprat,  what  the  effect  would  be  if  the  report 
should  get  abroad  that  the  advertising  in  the  Defender 
is  paid  for  with  bloodhounds !  A.  J.,  old  man,  do  you 
think  I  can  pay  my  compositors  in  bloodhounds  ?" 

"  One  of  them  might  want  a  good  dog,"  said 
Pelican,  modestly. 


56  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  Can  I  buy  ink  and  type  and  machinery  with 
bloodhounds,  do  you  think,  Pelican  ?  Will  the  paper- 
mill  take  bloodhounds  and  give  me  a  receipt  in  full  ? 
A.  J.,  you  are  carrying  the  thing  too  far.  I  have  hesi- 


Bloodhounds,  hey !" 


tated  about  taking  gravestones  and  mantel-pieces,  but 
bloodhounds !"  and  Mr.  Spiker  laughed  again  in  a 
strange,  unnatural  manner. 

"  Your  bill,"  said  Pelican,  "  is  only  $37.48,  and  a 
single  one  of  those  dogs  is  worth  at  least  $75.00.  I 
refused  $160.00  for  the  two  not  four  weeks  ago. 
They  are  the  most  affectionate  dogs  you  ever  saw." 

"  It's  a  bad  precedent,  A.  J.,"  answered  Spiker.  "  I 
take  bloodhounds  from  you ;  the  next  thing  you 
know  a  menagerie  will  come  to  Happy  Hollow  and 
fail,  and  the  time  won't  be  long  before  I'll  have  a 
whole  zoological  garden  on  my  hands.  Pelican,  I 
want  to  oblige  you,  but  I  can't  do  it." 


A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.     5; 

"  You  could  take  them  right  up  home  to  the 
Colonel's,"  said  A.  J.  Pelican,  in  a  soothing  voice, 
"and  they  love  Julie  and  Ruby,  and  would  make 
splendid  watch-dogs.  I'll  give  you  a  pointer  (not 
another  dog,  but  a  business  idea),  Mr.  Spiker,  if  you 
will  close  the  bargain  with  me." 

"  What  is  it?" 

"  You  know  Julie  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Well,  sir,  she's  a  very  remarkable  woman.  I 
never  saw  her  equal  for  drawing  tears.  Her  forte  is 
emotion.  I've  often  stood  in  the  flies  when  she  was 
on  the  stage  and  said  '  Now  the  sobs  are  due,'  and, 
sure  enough,  the  whole  house  was  weeping.  Drew 
tears  every  time  !  Women  used  to  come  to  the  show 
just  to  see  her  so's  they  could  have  a  good  cry. 
Men,  too,  and  particularly  editors.  I've  seen  a  whole 
row  of  critics  in  the  front  seats  with  their  eyes  stream- 
ing. I'll  let  you  into  a  secret.  Do  you  know  that 
lovely  woman  has  had  proposals  for  marriage  from 
no  less  than  eight  editors,  with  a  combined  circulation 
of  over  twenty-one  thousand  ?" 

"  Refused  them,  did  she  ?" 

"  Refused  them  !  Refused  them  all.  But,  I  was 
going  to  say,  it  will  surprise  you  to  learn  that  she 
writes  as  well  as  she  acts.  She  has  written  stories  that 
no  right  kind  of  man  can  read  without  crying." 

"  I  heard  one  of  them  last  night,"  said  Mr.  Spiker. 

"  You  did  ?  Well,  then,  you  know.  Now,"  con- 
tinued A.  J.  Pelican  persuasively,  "  you  engage  her  to 
write  for  your  paper  and  she'll  double  your  circulation 
in  three  months," 

"  Not  a  bad  idea,  A.  J.,"  said  Mr.  Spiker,  resuming 


58  IN    HAPPY  HOLLOW. 

his  seat  and  gently  tapping  his  desk  with  the  point  of 
his  scissors.  "  Not  bad.  I'll  think  it  over." 

"  And  the  more  you  think  the  better  you'll  like  it." 

"  Do  you  s'pose  she'd  be  willing  to  take  part  of  her 
pay  in  bonnets  and  cotton  hosiery  ?"  asked  Mr.  Spiker, 
thoughtfully. 

"  I  don't  know,  I'm  sure.     You  might  ask  her." 

"  I  know  she  wouldn't  care  for  fire-extinguishers,  of 
course." 

"  Now,"  asked  A.  J.  Pelican,  "  will  you  take  the 
bloodhounds  and  give  me  a  receipt  in  full?" 

Mr.  Spiker  accepted  the  offer,  and  when  A.  J.  Pelican 
had  gone  away  to  arrange  to  deliver  the  dogs  into 
Colonel  Bantam's  back  yard,  I  rose  to  bid  the  editor 
good-bye. 

"  Sprat,"  he  said,  as  he  shook  my  hand,  "  that  was  a 
good  suggestion  of  Pelican's,  but  it  was  better  than  he 
thought.  Do  you  know  what  I'll  do  with  Julie's 
stories  ?" 

"  What  ?" 

"  Put  'em  in  the  Defender,  of  course,  but  I'll  also 
make  them  into  plate-matter  and  sell  'em  to  a  syndicate 
of  other  papers  ;  sell  'em  for  cash  too  !" 

On  the  evening  of  the  day  of  my  visit  to  the  editor, 
I  sat  in  Mrs.  Bantam's  parlor  with  Julie  and  Ruby  and 
our  good  hostess,  while  Julie  entertained  us  with  stories 
of  her  experiences  upon  the  stage.  She  was  a  woman 
of  brilliant  beauty.  I  never  saw  eyes  so  black  and  so 
handsome,  and  her  thick  and  splendid  black  hair  sur- 
mounted a  face  that  was  not  less  lovely  because  her 
skin  was  that  of  a  true  brunette.  She  was  a  good 
talker,  and  despite  her  tear-compelling  power,  she  was 
more  fond  of  a  bit  of  fun  than  any  woman  I  ever  met. 


A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.     59 

As  she  sat  by  Ruby,  and  sometimes  held  the  girl's 
hand,  stroking  it  affectionately,  the  contrast  between 
the  two  was  remarkable.  For  Ruby  had  true  golden 
hair  and  a  fair  white  skin,  with  the  bluest  of  blue  eyes, 
which  were  filled  with  tenderness  as  she  turned  them 
upon  the  woman  whom  she  loved  so  much. 

As  we  talked  together,  and  as  I  looked  at  Ruby 
with  admiration  which  I  might  have  known  was  peril- 
ous, we  were  startled  to  hear  a  yell  of  terror  at  the 
back  of  the  house.  In  a  moment  a  door  was  violently 
slammed,  and  then  another.  There  was  a  sound  of 
rushing  feet,  and  Colonel  Bantam  fairly  flew  from  the 
dining-room,  through  the  hallway  to  the  parlor.  His 
face  was  white  and  drawn  with  fear.  As  he  came  into 
the  room  he  fell  upon  the  sofa,  and  it  seemed  to  me 
that  he  swooned  for  a  moment. 

We  sprang  up  in  alarm  and  hastened  to  him,  Mrs. 
Bantam  falling  upon  her  knees  by  his  side  and  taking 
his  hand. 

"  What  is  it,  dear  ?"  she  asked  in  great  alarm.  What 
is  the  matter  ?" 

For  a  moment  there  was  no  response.  Then  the 
color  slowly  came  upon  the  Colonel's  cheeks,  and  half 
raising  himself  upon  one  elbow,  while  his  breath  came 
short  and  quick,  he  gasped  : 

"  The  wo — wo — the  wol — wolf — the  wolf." 

"The  wolf!"  we  exclaimed.  "What  wolf?  What 
do  you  mean  ?" 

The  Colonel  breathed  quickly  for  a  moment  or  two, 
until  he  could  obtain  better  control  of  his  utterance. 

"  Out  there  !"  he  panted.  "  The  wo — wolf!  I've 
often  said  he  was — at  the — do — door,  and  now  he  is — 
two  of  'em." 


6o  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Joseph,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  tenderly,  "  compose 
yourself,  your  mind  is  wandering.  There  is  no  wolf 
at  the  door  or  anywhere  else." 

"  I  tell  you  there  is,"  said  the  Colonel  indignantly, 
getting  himself  into  a  sitting  posture,  and  beginning  to 
look  somewhat  as  if  he  were  ashamed.  "  My  mind's 
not  wandering — not  wandering  a  particle.  They  chased 
me.  I  barely  escaped  with  my  life." 

"They  were  only  the  bloodhounds,  I  guess,"  said 
Julie  calmly  and  with  a  smile.  "They  were  just  in 
play.  They  won't  hurt  anyone." 

"  Bloodhounds  !"  shouted  the  Colonel,  "  what  blood- 
hounds ?  What  do  you  mean  ?" 

"  Why  you  know,  love,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  taking  a 
seat  beside  the  Colonel  upon  the  sofa,"  that  Mr.  Peli- 
can sent  the  two  bloodhounds  here  in  Mr.  Spiker's 
care,  just  for  a  few  days." 

"Hypothecated  them  to  Spiker,"  I  added,  "for 
security  for  his  advertising  bill." 

"  Hah !"  exclaimed  the  Colonel,  scowling,  as  I  got 
up  and  walked  to  the  mantel,  so  that  I  might  hide  my 
feelings  under  pretense  of  examining  the  sword  of 
Gettysburg.  "  Spiker  sent  them  here,  did  he  ?  It 
surpasses  the  most  ordinary  requirements  of  decency 
to  set  wild  beasts  prowling  about  a  man's  premises 
without  asking  his  permission.  It  is  an  outrage ! 
Spiker  shall  answer  to  me  for  it,"  continued  the  Colo- 
nel angrily.  "  I  will  not  remain  in  the  dwelling  where 
such  a  scoundrel  is  domiciled." 

Thereupon  Colonel  Bantam  rose,  walked  with  dignity 
to  the  hallway,  took  his  hat  and  his  cane,  and  placed 
his  hand  upon  the  knob  of  the  front  door.  As  he  did 
so,  the  thought  seemed  to  strike  him  that  the  dogs 


A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.    61 

might  be  at  large  in  the  front  yard ;  so,  after  a  moment's 
hesitation,  he  released  the  knob,  limped  to  the  hat-rack, 
replaced  his  hat  and  cane,  and  hobbled  upstairs. 

We  sat  silent,  not  knowing  what  to  say,  and  fearing 
to  laugh,  for  Mrs.  Bantam  looked  sad  and  troubled. 
Finally  she  said : 

"  Brave  men  so  often  have  strange  idiosyncrasies. 
Do  you  remember  how  Napoleon  hated  cats,  and  how 
Ajax  was  afraid  of  the  lightning?" 

It  would  have  been  ungenerous  under  the  circum- 
stances to  attempt  to  readjust  her  reminiscence  of  Ajax, 
and  so,  when  Julie  very  sweetly  had  said : 

"  Nobody  could  help  dreading  those  huge  strange 
dogs,"  we  began  to  talk  about  the  stage. 

When  we  met  at  breakfast  next  morning  Colonel 
Bantam  seemed  to  have  forgotten  all  about  the  unpleas- 
ant experience  of  the  preceding  evening,  but  we  knew 
that  it  troubled  him,  because  he  related  at  much  length 
an  episode  of  the  Civil  War  in  which  he  charged  a 
Confederate  battery,  and,  without  support,  captured  it, 
cutting  down  the  gunners  with  his  own  hand. 

Ruby  and  Mrs.  Bantam  were  going  to  church,  and 
they  asked  me  to  go  with  them.  Spiker  and  Julie 
agreed  to  stroll  by  the  brook  beneath  the  trees,  and 
the  Colonel  insisted  that  his  duties  at  the  Mayor's 
office  would  detain  him  from  the  house  of  devotion. 
After  breakfast  he  drew  me  aside  and  whispered  to 
me : 

"  My  dear  boy,  you  oblige  me  by  escorting  Mrs. 
Bantam  to  church.  I  stay  away  from  principle.  In 
strict  confidence  I  tell  you,  for  Mrs.  Bantam  doesn't 
know  it,  I  am  a  Fire  Worshiper." 

It  was  delightful  to  walk  along  the  street  on    the 


62  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

bright  autumn  morning  with  the  lovely  girl  by  my  side. 
She  talked  in  the  most  charming  manner  to  me  and  to 
her  aunt,  who  also  appeared  to  find  pleasure  in  listen- 
ing to  her  pretty  chatter.  I  was  grateful,  as  I  heard 
her  and  looked  at  her,  for  the  kindly  fate  that  had 
made  me  an  inmate  of  the  home  to  which  she  had  so 
strangely  come. 

As  we  reached  the  door  of  the  Episcopal  Church  a 
handsome  carriage  came  up  at  a  rapid  pace  and 
stopped,  while  the  glossy  bay  horses  champed  their  bits 
and  rattled  their  silver-plated  chains.  The  door  of  the 
carriage  was  opened  by  a  footman  and  a  portly  woman 
of  forty-five  years  descended.  Holding  a  prayer-book 
in  her  hand,  her  black  silk  dress  trailing  upon  the 
pavement  and  h»r  head  held  high,  she  walked  into  the 
church  and  up  the  aisle  as  if  she  owned  the  premises 
and  knew  that  everybody  was  looking  at  her  and  envy- 
ing her. 

"  It  is  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam.  "  She 
is  very  rich ;  a  widow.  She  gives  tone  to  every- 
thing— really  everything.  There  would  be  no  tone  in 
Happy  Hollow  if  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  should  leave  us. 
None  in  this  church  either.  She  runs  it  all." 

That  was  plainly  the  impression  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde 
made  upon  the  observer.  We  sat  two  pews  behind 
her,  and  while  she  was  most  precise  and  particular  in 
assuming  all  the  attitudes  required  by  the  service,  the 
manner  in  which  she  flirted  her  fan,  and  moved  her 
head,  and  toyed  with  her  handkerchief,  plainly  indi- 
cated that  her  feeling  about  herself  was  not  largely 
infused  with  humility. 

The  service  was  what  Mrs.  Bantam  called  "  ornate," 
and  nobody  could  doubt  when  looking  at  Mrs.  Purvis- 


A.  J.  PELICAN  SETTLES  AN  ACCOUNT.     63 

Hyde  that  any  service  not  ornate  would  have  failed  to 
satisfy  the  cravings  of  her  nature. 

The  minister  was  Rev.  Dr.  Malachi  Fury,  and  I  re- 
gretted to  discover  that  he  had  not  yet  learned  how  to 
read  the  English  language  properly,  and  that,  while 
his  vestments  were  rich  and  correct,  his  sermon,  when 
we  could  discover  what  he  said,  was  almost  super- 
naturally  dull. 

I  am  sorry  to  say  Ruby  went  to  sleep,  and  I  am 
also  sorry  to  say  I  was  unjust  in  forming  during  the 
sermon  a  prejudice  against  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde.  I 
thought  her  proud  and  haughty  and  selfish.  But 
when  the  congregation  was  dismissed  and  we  had 
come  into  the  church-porch,  I  was  surprised  that  she 
should  push  toward  Mrs.  Bantam  and  say  : 

"  My  dear  Mrs.  Bantam,  welcome,  most  welcome 
to  the  church !  How  much  better  to  come  with  us 
than  to  endeavor  to  worship  with  the  denominations 
that  are  around  us !  And  this  sweet  girl,"  she  said, 
turning  to  Ruby  and  taking  her  hand,  while  Mrs. 
Bantam  formally  introduced  Ruby  to  her ;  "  this  dear 
girl  is  your  niece.  How  charming !  I  shall  love  you, 
my  dear !"  she  added,  and  then,  when  I  was  presented 
to  her,  she  said : 

"  I  hope  you  will  like  Happy  Hollow,  Professor,  I 
must  have  you  to  my  conversazione.  It  is  the  home 
of  intellect." 

Then  'she  stepped  into  her  carriage,  and  the  bays 
rattled  their  silver  chains  as  she  swept  away  from  us. 

In  fact,  I  liked  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde;  liked  her  for 
her  graciousness  to  me  and  because  she  liked  Ruby 
Bonner. 


Monday  morning  when  I  left 
the  house  to  go  to  the  school  where  I  was  to  begin 
my  career  as  a  teacher,  Ruby  Bonner  walked  with  me 
over  the  bridge  to  the  street  upon  which  was  the 
school  in  which  she  was  to  become  a  pupil.  This  was 
Madame  Bertolet's  Academy  for  Young  Ladies,  which 
had  been  established  in  Happy  Hollow  through  the 
efforts  of  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  and  was  directly  under 
her  patronage.  The  irrepressible  yearning  of  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde  was  for  culture,  and  this  school  had 
been  provided  for  the  purpose  of  supplying  to  the 
girls  of  Happy  Hollow  and  the  neighboring  regions 
an  opportunity  to  acquire  under  strictly  church  in- 
fluences what  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  called  the  higher 
education. 

It  was  not  Ruby's  intention,  nor  mine,   when  we 
prepared  for  our  movement  toward  the  schools,  that 
64 


THE  SCHOOL.  65 

we  should  walk  together,  but  we  happened  to  leave 
the  house  at  the  same  moment,  and  so  we  began  on 
that  day  a  practice  of  companionship  which  could  have 
nothing  but  charm  for  me. 

"  I  wish,"  she  said,  as  we  left  the  garden-gate  of 
Colonel  Bantam's  house,  "  that  I  were  going  to  your 
school." 

I  inclined  at  first  to  regard  this  expression  as  con- 
veying something  like  a  compliment  to  me,  but  in  fact 
she  had  no  thought  of  that  kind. 

"  I  don't  like  girls'  schools,"  continued  Ruby,  "  and 
I  don't  care  for  girls.  I  wish  I  were  a  boy." 

"  Then  you  would  care  for  girls,  maybe,"  I  said. 

"  I  suppose  I  should,"  answered  Ruby,  "  but  that 
isn't  the  reason  why  I  want  to  be  a  boy." 

"  What  is  the  reason  ?" 

"  Oh,  a  boy  has  none  of  the  horrid  restraints  that  are 
put  upon  girls.  He  doesn't  always  have  to  be  prim 
and  proper,  or  to  sit  in  some  particular  way ;  and  he 
can  have  so  much  fun.  He  can  play  ball,  and  run  and 
shout,  and  go  swimming  and  camping  and  hunting; 
and  then  he  needn't  have  some  old  lady  tagging  after 
him  to  see  t,hat  he  behaves  himself  when  he  goes  any- 
where ;  and  he  can  do  anything  nice  he  wants  to  do 
without  shocking  people.  It's  just  horrid  to  be  a  girl, 
I  think." 

It  was  really  difficult  for  me  to  frame  an  argument 
on  the  other  side  of  the  case.  I  couldn't  imagine 
myself  wanting  to  be  a  girl,  and  in  fact,  I  never  knew 
a  man  or  boy  who  felt  dissatisfied  with  his  sex.  So  in- 
stead of  attempting  to  show  Ruby  that  women  have 
great  advantages,  or  to  impress  upon  her  young  mind 
the  wisdom  of  accepting  unchangeable  conditions  with 
5 


66  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

cheerful  resignation,  I  talked  to  her  about  her  studies. 
She  made  it  plainly  apparent  in  a  few  minutes  that  be- 
fore she  attempted  any  extended  flights  under  Madame 
Bertolet's  system  of  higher  education,  accompanied  by 
church  influences,  there  was  great  need  that  she  should 
wrestle  with  some  of  the  problems  of  lower  educa- 
tion. 

"I  never  could  remember,"  she  said,  "how  much 
nine  nines  make — eighty-one,  isn't  it?  and  I  don't 
see  why  they  do,  anyhow ;  and  that  horrid  cube 
root !  what  does  anybody  want  with  one  ?  I  never 
needed  one.  I  shouldn't  know  what  on  earth  to  do 
with  it  if  I  had  it." 

It  seemed  not  a  favorable  opportunity  to  impart  in- 
formation to  Ruby's  mind,  and  so  when  we  came  to 
the  point  where  I  must  leave  her,  I  comforted  her  with 
the  assurance  that,  as  we  were  to  live  in  the  same 
house,  I  should  be  glad  to  fulfil  my  promise  to  help 
her  to  master  the  arithmetical  and  other  difficulties 
that  were  likely  to  obstruct  her  onward  march  toward 
the  goal  set  by  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  and  Madame  Ber- 
tolet 

"  Oh,  will  you  really  help  me,  though  ?"  said  Ruby. 
"  That  will  be  so  kind,  and  it  will  make  everything  so 
easy.  Thank  you,  thank  you,  very  much !" 

I  bade  her  good-bye,  and  went  on  until  I  came  to 
Dr.  Bulfinch's  Classical  and  Mathematical  Academy. 
The  yard  swarmed  with  boys,  who  looked  at  me  curi- 
ously as  I  said  good-morning  to  them ;  and  then  I 
entered  the  building  and  found  Dr.  Bulfinch  moving 
about  the  great  school-room,  preparing  for  the  morning 
session. 

It  was  a  large  room,  filled  with  desks,  excepting 


THE  SCHOOL. 


67 


Going  to  school. 


68 


IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


that  at  the  very  front  there  was  a  row  of  low  benches 
on  which  the  boys  sat  while  they  recited  their  lessons. 
These  benches  faced  a  platform,  ten  inches  high,  on 
which  the  Doctor  had  his  chair  by  the  side  of  a  desk. 
Over  the  Doctor's  desk,  upon  the  wall  where  every 
boy  could  see  it  and  read  it,  were  the  words  : 

"LovE  is  THE  FULFILLING  OF  THE  LAW." 

Adjoining  the  great  school-room  were  three  other 
rooms  in  which  the  assistant  teachers  conducted  their 


operations,  hearing  and 

these    smaller     rooms 

"  I  hope,  Mr.  Sprat," 


The  strenuous  life. 


teaching  lessons.     One  of 
was  allotted  to  me. 
said    Dr.    Bulfinch,  as    he 
grasped  my  hand 
and    greeted    me, 
"  that    our    asso- 
ciation with    each 
other  will  be  both 
pleasant  and  prof- 
itable." 

When  I  had  re- 
sponded to   this    kindly   sentiment, 
and  had   spoken  with  him  about   the  books 
and  the  plan  of  work,  he  said  to  me : 
"  Mr.  Sprat,  I  have  had  large  experience  with  boys, 
as  you  may  imagine ;  very  large ;  and  you  may  depend 
upon  it  that  in  dealing  with  them  you  must  start  upon 
a  basis  of  the  total  depravity  of  each  boy  ;  that  is,  if 
he  is  well.     I  mean  boys  in  rude  physical  health.     The 
boy  is  lost,  to  begin  with  ;  and  the  duty  of  his  elders 
— your  duty  and  mine — is  to  try  to  save  him." 

Dr.  Bulfinch  looked  like  a  man  who  could  not  have 
entertained  any  more  hopeful  and  cheerful  theory.     He 


THE   SCHOOL.  69 

was  tall,  and  so  thin  that  he  appeared  taller  than  he 
really  was.  His  face  was  white,  almost  fleshless,  and 
he  had  narrow  jaws,  the  bones  showing  plainly  through 
the  skin,  and  his  firm,  closely-set  lips  conveyed  an 
impression  of  severity  which  was  heightened  by  a 
strong,  protruding,  squarely-cut  chin.  His  bushy  gray- 
brown  hair  was  usually  in  disorder. 

He  always  wore  a  very  long  black  frock-coat,  cleanly 
brushed,  but  inclined  to  glossiness  about  the  elbows, 
and  he  had  a  low  turned-down  coller,  tied  with  a  black 
silk  cravat.  I  have  often  wondered  how  Dr.  Bulfinch 
would  have  looked  in  a  short  sack-coat  of  colored  cloth 
and  a  standing  collar  with  a  gay  neck-tie.  But  it  is 
hard  to  conceive  of  such  a  figure.  The  clothing  that 
he  wore  really  seemed  as  if  it  alone  could  have  been 
possible  upon  the  person  of  such  a  man. 

The  Doctor  had  silver  spectacles,  worn  often  upon 
the  tip  of  his  nose,  and  his  habit  was  to  depress  his 
chin  and  to  look  over  the  spectacles  when  he  surveyed 
the  boys  in  front  of  him,  while,  when  he  wished  to 
examine  the  book  he  held  in  his  hand,  elevation  of  his 
chin  to  a  horizontal  position  was  necessary  that  he 
might  look  through  his  spectacles. 

Always  during  school-hours  Dr.  Bulfinch  carried  a 
stout  switch  in  his  right  hand.  His  practice  was  to 
strike  his  desk  with  it,  as  a  kind  of  emphasis,  when  he 
spoke  at  large  to  the  school,  and  often  he  would  walk 
up  and  down  before  the  class  that  was  reciting  and 
gently  switch  the  legs  of  each  boy  as  he  came  to  him, 
as  an  indication  that  the  turn  of  that  particular  boy  to 
answer  questions  had  arrived. 

Before  I  had  been  with  the  Doctor  many  months  I 
discovered  that  he  had  peculiar  theories  about  educa- 


70  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

tion — theories  which  he  did  not  venture  wholly  to 
apply  in  practice.  He  believed  that  the  Latin  Gram- 
mar and  the  Shorter  Catechism  contained  nearly 
all  the  knowledge  that  a  boy  really  needed  in  this 
world. 

"  The  Grammar,"  he  said  to  me  one  day,  "  opens  the 
past  to  the  young  mind;  the  Catechism  reveals  the 
future." 

He  conceded  something  to  the  simple  mathematics ; 
a  little  to  history ;  not  much  to  literature,  which  he 
regarded  as  a  weakness  upon  the  part  of  parents,  and 
nothing  at  all  to  science. 

I  am  bound  to  say  that  he  was  a  learned  man  in  the 
departments  of  learning  which  he  thought  important, 
and  he  was  a  careful  teacher.  There  was  a  touch  of 
sarcasm  in  his  method,  and  my  own  experience  has 
taught  me  that  sarcasm,  used  sparingly  and  without 
great  unkindness,  is  a  most  effective  instrument  with 
boys.  Much  is  to  be  said  for  love,  but  sarcasm  puts 
love  into  the  second  place. 

When  the  boys  at  the  summons  of  the  bell  began  to 
troop  into  the  room  and  to  take  their  places  behind 
the  desks,  Dr.  Bulfinch,  standing  by  his  platform, 
smiled  grimly  as  he  watched  them ;  but  all  the  stern- 
ness faded  from  his  face  when  one  of  the  boys  came 
up  and  shook  hands  with  him.  The  Doctor  put  his 
arm  around  the  boy's  shoulders,  and  the  light  of  affec- 
tion came  into  his  gray  eyes  as  he  presented  the  youth 
to  me,  saying : 

"  Mr.  Sprat,  this  is  Charley,  my  nephew  ;  Charley 
Bulfinch.  He  will  be  with  you  a  good  deal,  and  you 
must  be  stern  with  him." 

Charley  was  a  rosy,  hearty,  handsome  boy,  with  a 


THE  SCHOOL. 


Doctor  Bulfinch. 


72  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

look  of  intellectual  alertness  which  seemed  to  have  no 
promise  that  he  would  be  a  dull  scholar. 

When  I  had  shaken  hands  with  him,  and  the  Doctor 
had  patted  his  shoulder  again,  Charley  went  back 
among  the  other  boys,  and  I  am  much  mistaken  if  I 
did  not  see  him  make  a  gesture,  while  his  back  was 
turned  toward  me,  indicative  to  the  other  boys  of 
Charley's  belief  that  he  had  arranged  things  comfort- 
ably for  himself  at  headquarters. 

Dr.  Bulfinch's  practice  was  to  open  each  session  of 
the  school  with  a  few  verses  of  Scripture.  When  he 
finished  the  reading  and  offered  a  brief  prayer  on  this 
morning,  he  took  up  his  switch  and  proceeded  to  greet 
the  scholars.  As  he  spoke  to  them  he  struck  the 
desk  from  time  to  time.  The  act  seemed  to  help  him 
to  find  utterance. 

"  Boys,"  he  said,  "  it  is  well  for  me  to  say,  as  we 
begin  our  work  together  here,  that  the  law  of  kindness 
is  the  law  of  this  school.  The  hill  of  learning  is  not 
easy  to  climb.  Upon  your  part  strenuous  effort  is  re- 
quired ;  upon  mine,  that  the  influences  of  affection  shall 
be  applied  to  keep  you  from  straying  from  the  right 
path,  and  to  impel  you  upward.  These  influences  may 
sometimes  take  the  form  of  gentle  remonstrance,  or 
the  sterner  shape  of  flagellation  of  the  person  ;  but  the 
rod,  you  must  learn,  is  the  symbol  of  the  strenuous 
life,  as  it  is  the  very  flower  of  love  in  its  richest  aspects ; 
and  so,"  said  the  Doctor,  giving  a  final  and  vigorous 
blow  to  his  desk,  "  it  will  be  liberally  used,  if  need  be, 
to  stimulate  your  aspirations  for  higher  things." 

I  thought  the  boys  looked  promising.  The  restraint 
of  novelty  was  upon  them,  and  I  could  perceive  that 
they  were  unconsciously  trying  to  take  the  Doctor's 


THE  SCHOOL.  73 

measure  and  mine ;  but  really  they  seemed  to  me  to 
be  a  fine  lot  of  boys,  with  whom  we  should  have  little 
trouble. 

"  They  were  remarkably  orderly,"  I  said  to  the 
Doctor,  when  the  first  recess  came  and  the  room  was 
empty.  "  I  am  very  hopeful  of  them." 

Dr.  Bulfinch  looked  at  me  as  if  he  felt  I  had  much 
to  learn,  and  said : 

"  Wait.  The  evil  is  there.  It  is  latent.  It  will  de- 
velop." 

Before  the  week  was  out  I  saw  the  ceiling  of  the 
room  fairly  covered,  during  the  few  minutes  occupied 
by  the  Doctor's  prayer,  with  paper  dolls  dangling  from 
wads  of  chewed  paper,  and  from  the  corner  of  my  eye 
I  discovered  Charley  Bulfinch  discharging  one  of  these 
wads  toward  the  ceiling  just  as  the  Doctor  was  say- 
ing "  Amen." 

•As  in  all  schools,  I  suppose,  there  were  dull  boys 
and  bright  boys,  and,  as  usual,  the  smartest  boys  were 
the  most  mischievous.  I  never  observed  any  marked 
misconduct  upon  the  part  of  Hosea  Blinn,  who  defined 
the  word  "  hypothecate  "  as  relating  to  "  apothecaries," 
nor  was  there  ever  any  need  that  Dr.  Bulfinch's  rod 
should  be  applied  to  the  back  of  George  Grass,  who 
supplied  the  class  one  afternoon  with  the  surprising 
information  that  "'Javelin'  is  the  name  usually  given 
to  the  inhabitants  of  Java,"  but  Charley  Bulfinch,  who 
rarely  missed  a  lesson,  and  Thomas  Hopkins,  known 
to  all  the  boys  as  "  Polly  Hopkins,"  after  the  name  of 
the  heroine  of  a  famous  song,  and  always  near  to  the 
head  of  his  class,  went  up  to  the  Doctor's  private  room 
for  discipline  with  the  rod  three  days  out  of  five. 

My  class   in   etymology  usually   supplied   food  for 


74  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

amusement  as  well  as  subjects  for  corporal  punish- 
ment. I  remember  well  in  what  manner,  at  the  time 
of  my  first  lesson  with  them,  they  dealt  with  the  word 
"  indigenous."  The  first  boy  who  made  a  dash  at  it, 
without  having  examined  the  subject  at  all  during  the 
study  hour,  said  that  it  might  be  defined  as  "  the  prac- 
tice of  being  constantly  indignant."  The  next  boy 
differed  wholly  from  this  view.  His  theory  was  that 
indigenous  means  "  referring  to  Indians."  The  third 
scholar  held  that  it  meant  "  partaking  of  the  nature  of 
indigo,"  and  the  conclusion  reached  by  the  next  mind 
to  which  I  appealed  was  that  indigenous  had  its  source 
in  a  Latin  word  which  he  represented  to  be  Indigene, 
and  which  was  a  verb  of  the  first  conjugation,  with  the 
parts  Indigene,  indigenare,  indigenavi,  indigenatum, 
meaning,  in  plain  English,  "  to  dig  into."  These  vary- 
ing views  resulted  in  the  detention  of  the  ingenious 
authors  for  half  an  hour  after  school,  so  that  they  might 
have  leisure  in  which  to  acquire  more  nearly  accurate 
opinions.  With  the  scholars  thus  detained  was  one 
dexterous  boy  who  gave  the  correct  answer  so 
promptly  that  my  suspicion  was  excited,  and  I  exam- 
ined the  book  he  had  before  him,  opened  apparently 
at  the  last  page,  upon  which  he  seemed  to  be  scrib- 
bling. I  found  that  he  had  torn  the  book  from  the 
cover,  turned  it  over  so  that  the  page  of  the  lesson 
would  seem  to  be  the  final  page,  and  was  reading  the 
answer  from  the  book  while  he  pretended  to  be  scrib- 
bling upon  it. 

I  have  long  known  that  to  many  children  lessons 
are  simply  tasks  without  meaning.  The  lessons  are 
learned  because  older  people  who  are  accustomed  to 
command  require  them  to  be  learned,  and  the  poor 


THE  SCHOOL.  75 

little  students  do  the  work  as  a  part  of  the  general  and 
mysterious  hardships  of  life,  but  without  any  notion 
what  it  is  all  for.  There  are  Sunday-school  scholars 
to  whom  the  affecting  story  of  Joseph  and  the  amusing 
tale  of  Cinderella  are  precisely  alike  in  the  particular 
that  both  are  presumed  to  be  creations  of  the  imagina- 
tion. All  boys,  however,  appear  to  accept  American 
history  as  representative  of  fact,  although  few  of  them 
ever  succeed  in  separating  the  Revolutionary  War  from 
the  Civil  War,  or  in  realizing  the  period  of  time  that 
lay  between  the  two  struggles. 

Ancient  history  to  most  boys  is  simply  romance,  and 
dull  romance,  excepting  when  there  is  lively  narrative 
of  combat.  No  boy  ever  fails  to  regard  with  intense 
interest  the  story  of  a  fight. 

I  am  sure  I  tried  to  infuse  into  my  lessons  upon 
Roman  history  some  elements  of  vitality,  and  if  the 
boys  had  really  heeded  what  the  teacher  said  they 
might  have  grasped  the  fact  that  Julius  Caesar  was 
once  a  living  person,  and  not  an  imaginary  being  like 
Jack  the  Giant  Killer.  But  in  truth,  many  boys  do 
not  heed.  They  have  made  up  their  minds,  uncon- 
sciously, that  the  whole  thing  is  fiction,  and  so  the 
earnest  and  repeated  declaration  of  the  teacher  that 
history  is  fact  makes  really  no  impression  upon  their 
minds. 

One  day,  in  talking  about  Vercingetorix  and  his 
captivity  in  Rome,  I  mentioned  that  I  had  seen  and 
entered  the  dungeon  in  which  that  warrior  had  been 
cruelly  confined.  I  happened  at  the  moment  of  speak- 
ing to  look  at  George  Grass,  and  I  saw  spreading  over 
his  rather  dull  countenance  an  expression  of  mingled 
scorn  and  incredulity. 


76  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  What  is  the  matter,  George  ?"  I  asked. 

"  Nothing,  sir,"  he  answered. 

"  Speak  your  mind  freely,"  I  said.  "  Have  you  some 
doubts  about  my  visit  to  the  dungeon  or  about  Ver- 
cingetorix  ?" 

"  There  never  was  no  such  man,  sir,  now  was  there 
really  ?"  asked  George. 

"  You  think,  do  you,  that  all  this  story  of  Csesar 
and  his  wars  is  false,  then  ?" 

"  It's  just  made  up,  sir,  isn't  it?"  asked  George,  and 
while  the  other  boys  in  the  class  laughed,  all  of  them 
looked  as  if  they  were  ready  to  take  George's  opinion 
without  hesitation. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  had  passed  the  period  when  he  cared 
to  make  nice  observation  of  the  attitude  of  the  young 
mind  toward  such  matters.  He  knew  of  the  infidelity, 
of  course,  but  he  disregarded  it,  and  riding  right  over 
it,  compelled  the  boys  to  take  the  facts,  no  matter 
whether  they  were  regarded  as  facts  or  fiction. 

One  morning  about  three  weeks  after  the  school 
opened,  Dr.  Bulfinch  began  the  session  by  reading 
from  the  Scripture  about  "the  ornament  of  a  meek 
and  quiet  spirit,"  and  after  pausing  for  a  moment  to 
explain  to  the  school  why  such  a  spirit  is  ornamental, 
he  tried  to  clench  the  lesson  by  asking  in  his  brief 
prayer  that  all  of  us  might  learn  to  be  "  quiet  and 
peaceable." 

Half  an  hour  later,  while  in  the  adjoining  class-room 
I  strove  to  have  the  minds  of  the  boys  grasp  the 
reasons  why  the  square  of  the  hypothenuse  of  a  right- 
angled  triangle  is  equal  to  the  sum  of  the  squares  of  the 
other  two  sides,  noise  of  a  great  uproar  came  through 
the'door  opening  into  the  room  in  which  the  Doctor 


THE   SCHOOL. 


77 


sat.  I  stopped  my  work  and  listened  for  a  moment, 
and  then  as  the  noise  increased  I  went  to  the  door  and 
into  the  Doctor's  room,  followed,  of  course,  by  my 
whole  class. 

I  was  astonished  to 
find  Dr.  Bulfinch  grap- 
pling with  Polly  Hop- 
kins, and  rolling  over 


and     over     him 
upon  the  floor. 

It  seemed  that 
the  Doctor  had 
called  Hopkins  to  him 
and  ordered  Hopkins  to 
hold  out  his  hand  that  he 
might  switch  it.  At  the 
third  or  fourth  blow  Hop- 
kins withdrew  his  hand 
and  the  Doctor  hit  his  own  leg  in  a  painful  manner. 
Hopkins  was  unwise  enough  to  laugh,  whereupon  the 
Doctor  leaped  upon  him,  and  Hopkins,  who  prided 
himself  upon  his  ability  as  a  wrestler,  locked  himself 
around  the  Doctor's  neck  and  legs. 


Polly  Hopkins  and  the  Doctor. 


78  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

When  I  entered  the  combatants  were  upon  the  floor, 
in  vigorous  motion,  rolling  from  one  side  to  the  other, 
overturning  the  recitation  benches,  and  giving  really  a 
rather  humorous  suggestion  of  a  large  black  cat  and  a 
small  gray  cat  engaged  in  a  fight.  Every  boy  in  the 
room  was  on  the  top  of  his  desk  in  a  condition  of  wild 
excitement,  and  some  of  them  actually  ventured  to  give 
cheering  advice  to  Polly  Hopkins.  It  was  plain  enough 
that  the  sympathy  of  the  spectators  was  with  the 
smaller  warrior.  That  he  knew  it,  and  was  resolved  to 
win  laurels  for  himself  on  that  great  day,  was  indicated 
by  the  tenacity  with  which  he  held  his  antagonist,  and 
strove  to  retain  his  place  on  top  whenever  the  fortunes 
of  war,  or  intervention  of  an  overturned  bench,  placed 
him  in  that  position. 

The  spectators  dropped  into  their  seats  when  I  ap- 
peared, but  the  combat  upon  the  floor  raged  until  as  I 
came  to  the  place  Dr.  Bulfinch  succeeded  in  turning 
Hopkins  face-downward  and  sitting  triumphantly  upon 
him. 

The  vanquished  boy  struggled  no  more,  and  Dr. 
Bulfinch  arose,  and  looking  at  me  with  mortification 
written  upon  his  face,  ordered  Hopkins  to  take  his  seat 
and  to  report  to  the  Doctor  in  his  study  at  quarter  past 
three. 

The  Doctor  then,  after  partially  brushing  the  dust 
from  his  coat  with  his  hand,  resumed  his  seat  and  his 
lesson  with  flushed  countenance,  but  with  a  strong 
effort  to  appear  tranquil. 

I  laughed  to  myself  a  little  bit  when  I  returned  to  my 
room,  for  I  recalled  the  Doctor's  morning  reference  to 
the  ornament  of  a  rneek  and  quiet  spirit;  but  I  did  not 
then  know  Dr.  Bulfinch. 


THE   SCHOOL.  79 

He  asked  me  to  come  to  his  study  when  school  was 
over,  and  while  I  sat  there  with  him  Hopkins  came  in. 
What  was  the  attitude  of  the  spirit  of  Hopkins  must 
remain  unknown,  but  his  physical  aspect  conveyed  an 
impression  of  humility.  A  boy  always  surrenders 
when  he  has  been  fairly  beaten  ;  and  no  doubt  the 
thing  in  Hopkins  which  answered  to  the  name  of  con- 
science told  him  that  he  richly  deserved  the  flogging 
he  came  to  Dr.  Bulfinch's  study  expecting  to  get.  He 
was  ready  for  it. 

"  Sit  down,  Thomas,"  said  the  Doctor,  as  the  boy 
entered  the  room  and  closed  the  door. 

There  .was  an  unfamiliar  tone  of  gentleness  in  the 
stern  man's  voice  that  surprised  the  boy,  and  he  looked 
at  his  teacher  sharply. 

"  Thomas,"  said  the  Doctor,  retaining  his  seat  in  his 
great  arm-chair,  "  I  am  very  sorry  I  attacked  you  this 
morning,  i^ery,  very  sorry.  You  had  done  wrong,  but 
I  should  not  have  forgotten  myself  so  far  as  to  do 
another  wrong  by  losing  my  temper.  Thomas,  I  ask 
your  forgiveness,"  and  the  Doctor  went  over  and  tried 
to  take  Polly  Hopkins's  hand.  But  Polly  had  both 
hands  to  his  eyes,  and  then  dropping  his  hands  and 
head  upon  the  table  by  his  side  he  began  to  sob. 

Tears  came  into  the  Doctor's  eyes  as  he  put  his  hand 
upon  the  boy's  shoulder,  and  patted  it  and  said  in  a 
gentle  voice : 

"  Never  mind,  my  son,  never  mind,  we  were  both 
wrong.  We  will  forgive  and  forget,  and  we  will  both 
try  to  do  better  in  the  future." 

Then  he  clasped  Polly's  hand  and  led  him  to  the 
door  and  sent  him  away.  I  rose  to  go,  and  the  Doctor 
held  the  door  open  for  me. 


8o  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  I  wanted  you  to  hear  my  confession,  Mr.  Sprat,"  he 
said.  "  God  forgive  me  for  my  reckless  wicked  anger." 

But,  somehow  or  other,  I  liked  Dr.  Bulfinch  that 
day  far  better  than  I  had  ever  done,  and  I  think  Polly 
Hopkins  liked  him  better  too. 

In  truth,  as  time  rolled  by  I  liked  both  the  Doctor 
and  the  school  better  and  better,  and  I  found  in  the 
boys,  with  their  pranks  and  follies,  only  such  evidences 
of  depravity  as  I  discovered  in  myself  when  I  remem- 
bered my  school  days,  not  far  distant  in  the  past. 

But  the  most  delightful  work  that  came  to  me  as  a 
teacher  was  performed  in  the  dining-room  of  Mrs. 
Bantam's  house,  where  Ruby  in  the  evening  studied 
her  lessons,  and  whither  I  was  summoned  very  fre- 
quently when  the  tasks  seemed  to  her  too  hard. 

She  was  passionately  fond  of  literature,  particularly 
of  poetry,  but  for  the  ordinary  dull  learning  of  the 
school-books  she  had  no  taste,  and  her  mathematical 
faculty  was  almost  no  faculty  at  all. 

"  I  simply  can't  understand,"  she  said,  "  why  you 
turn  fractions  over  before  multiplying  them.  It  seems 
just  funny  to  make  a  fraction  turn  a  somersault  and  to 
stand  it  on  its  head  before  you  can  use  it." 

The  reason  why  fifty  added  to  one  hundred  makes 
an  increase  of  50  per  cent,  but  makes  a  decrease  of 
only  3 3i  Per  cent,  when  it  is  taken  off,  was  always 
hidden  from  that  lovely  woman. 

"  It  seems  just  unreasonable,"  she  insisted  ;  "  and  I 
am  sure  I  shall  never  know  what  holds  up  the  moon 
or  why  we  are  not  upside  down  when  the  world  goes 
round.  We  must  be  upside  down  now,  mustn't  we  ?" 

"  It  is  so  awfully  tiresome,"  she  pleaded,  "  to  have 
to  know  where  Borneo  is.  I  shall  never  want  to  go 


THE   SCHOOL.  81 

to  Borneo,  shall  I  ?  and  I  never  expect  to  know  any 
Borneoers,  if  that's  the  name  of  them.  And  don't  you 
think  it  was  simply  outrageous  for  the  Latin  people  to 
call  a  woman  mulier  ?  I  don't  think  women  are  any 
mulier  than  men ;  and  it  really  seems  foolish,  now 
doesn't  it,  for  people  to  have  said  amo,  when  to  say 
'  I  love'  is  so  much  easier?" 

"  Was  it  Plutarch,"  she  asked,  "  or  Plato  or  Pluto 
that  was  god  of  the  lower  regions  ?  I  never  can  re- 
member, and  I  always  get  them  mixed,  and  do  you 
know,  Mr.  Sprat,  I  can't  get  it  out  of  my  mind  that 
Bacchus  was  the  god  of  tobacco  ;  but  he  wasn't,  now 
was  he  ?" 

But,  somehow,  these  things,  which  would  have 
seemed  stupidities  if  I  had  heard  them  from  George 
Grass  or  Hosea  Blinn,  had  an  aspect  of  charm  when 
they  came  from  the  pretty  lips  of  Ruby  Bonner.  Tom 
Driggs  would  have  thought  himself  lucky  to  have 
heard  them,  and  to  have  the  privilege  now  given  to  me 
of  revealing  to  this  lovely  girl  some  of  the  mysteries 
of  knowledge. 

Tom  wrote  to  me,  a  few  days  after  school  began,  that 
he  had  given  up  the  shoe  business,  and  now,  travelling 
for  a  soap-house,  he  had  concentrated  upon  soap  all  the 
intense  enthusiasm  with  which  once  he  had  regarded 
shoes.  In  a  postscript  to  his  letter  he  said : 

"  I  hear  you  have  Ruby  Bonner  with  you.  I  shall 
be  glad  if,  as  a  friend  of  mine,  you  will  praise  me  to 
her  and  try  to  endear  me  to  her." 

In  reply,  I  asked  him  if  he  remembered  the  case  of 
Miles  Standish,  and  he  answered  : 

"  I  don't  remember  the  Standish  you  refer  to.  Was 
he  in  our  class  at  the  University  ?" 

6 


school  was  done  one  Friday  after- 
noon, two  months  after  my  arrival  in  Happy  Hollow, 
and  when  Dr.  Bulfinch  had  faithfully  applied  to  the 
backs  of  the  culprit  boys  the  symbol  of  the  strenuous 
life,  the  Doctor  invited  me  to  stroll  with  him  by  the 
side  of  the  brook  that  intersected  the  village.  He 
wished  to  talk  of  matters  appertaining  to  the  school.  • 

We  walked  and  talked  and  sat  for  a  while  beneath 
the  trees  along  the  banks  of  the  stream,  and  then  we 
came  to  a  pretty  house  of  wood,  near  to  the  end  of 
one  of  the  streets,  half  covered  with  the  broad  green 
leaves  of  the  ampelopsis  vine.  It  stood  beyond  a  fence 
of  pointed  palings  in  a  small  garden,  wherein  upon 
this  October  day  some  of  the  shrubs  still  were  flower- 
ing, and  the  grass  was  green  with  the  loveliness  of  the 
spent  summertime. 

The    Doctor   stopped  and  put  his  hand  upon   the 


DR.    BULFINCH'S    BROTHER.  83 

latch  of  the  gate,  and  was  about  to  say  farewell,  when 
his  thought  changed  and  he  said  to  me : 

"  You  do  not  know  my  sister,  Charley's  mother. 
Come  in  with  me  for  a  moment  that  you  may  meet  her." 

He  knew  that  if  I  stayed  in  Happy  Hollow  I  must 
learn  sooner  or  later  the  story  of  the  tragedy  that  lay 
in  that  house  and  in  his  heart,  and  I  suppose  he 
thought  it  better  that  he  should  face  the  matter  boldly 
and  that  I  should  know  the  worst  of  it  from  him. 

Mrs.  Bulfinch,  who  lived  there,  was  the  wife  of  his 
brother,  who  had  long  ago  begun  an  evil  life  and 
deserted  her,  and  I  knew  afterward  that  the  Doctor 
had  loved  this  woman  with  a  love  from  which  she 
turned  to  find  misery  in  the  affection  she  preferred, 
poor  soul,  to  lavish  upon  a  man  who  never  loved  her. 
I  found  also  from  Mrs.  Bantam  that  the  father  of  the 
woman  had  favored  the  Doctor's  suit  and  hated  the 
brother;  and  with  clear  vision  and  sound  judgment 
had  made  Dr.  Bulfinch  the  sole  trustee  of  the  small 
fortune  he  had  left  to  his  daughter. 

Mrs.  Bulfinch  opened  the  door  in  response  to  the 
Doctor's  summons,  and  greeted  us  I  thought  with 
coldness  as  she  ushered  us  into  her  little  parlor. 

She  was  a  woman  of  thirty-five  or  forty  years,  who 
might  once  have  been  handsome ;  but  now  sorrow  had 
marred  her  face,  which  was  white  and  pinched  as  if 
physical  suffering  had  come  to  her  to  supplement  and 
make  more  bitter  the  pain  that  filled  her  soul  with  bit- 
terness. She  was  clad  in  black,  with  a  muslin  collar 
about  her  neck,  and  her  hair  was  drawn  simply  from 
her  forehead  as  if  she  were  indifferent  to  her  appearance. 

There  was  an  odd  constraint  in  her  manner,  and  a 
look  upon  her  face  of  nervous  apprehension,  as  if  she 


84  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

were  afraid  of  some  impending  catastrophe.  But  I  am 
sure  Dr.  Bulfinch  did  not  observe  this.  He  was  near- 
sighted, and  it  was  never  his  practice  to  discern  any- 
thing of  an  unusual  nature  about  a  person's  demeanor 
unless  his  attention  were  called  to  it.  I  doubt  if  Dr. 
Bulfinch  ever  in  his  life  read  the  countenances  of  the 
boys  in  school,  whose  faces  often  had  so  much  to  tell 
to  a  man  of  quick  vision. 

When  I  had  been  presented  to  Mrs.  Bulfinch  and 
had  greeted  Charley,  who  came  into  the  room  about  as 
we  entered  it,  we  sat  down,  and  the  Doctor  began  to 
talk  pleasantly  of  the  school  and  of  me  and  of  Charley 
and  of  the  weather.  But  I  could  see  that  Mrs.  Bul- 
finch listened  indifferently,  if  not  indeed  with  mani- 
fest feelings  of  impatience  ;  and  while  she  responded 
courteously,  and  even  exerted  herself  to  appear  pleas- 
ant to  me,  I  could  not  help  perceiving  that  she  wished 
us  to  be  gone. 

I  felt  quite  uncomfortable,  and  I  made  up  my  mind 
after  a  few  moments  to  take  my  leave  without  waiting 
for  the  Doctor;  but,  just  as  I  was  about  to  rise  from 
my  chair,  a  door  at  the  back  of  the  room  opened,  and 
in  walked  a  man  who  looked  as  much  like  Dr.  Bulfinch 
as  one  man  can  possibly  look  like  another. 

He  had  the  same  figure,  the  same  face,  the  same 
bushy  brown  hair,  even  the  same  voice ;  but  he  was 
dressed  in  half-shabby  clothing  of  material  and  shape 
that  would  have  been  fitting  in  a  much  younger  man, 
and  not  only  was  his  face  marked  by  dissipation,  but 
he  had  a  sinister  look  in  his  eyes  which  would  have 
excited  distrust  at  once,  I  should  think,  in  anybody 
who  met  him  for  the  first  time. 

I   do   not   know  precisely  what  the  old  Scriptural 


DR.   BULFINCH'S   BROTHER.  85 

phrase  the  "  evil  eye  "  means,  but  if  it  means  that  the 
wickedness  of  the  soul  may  sometimes  flash  out  from 
the  windows  which  open  the  way  to  the  soul,  then 
Simon  Bulfinch  had  the  evil  eye. 

I  saw  a  shiver  pass  through  Mrs.  Bulfinch's  frame  as 
he  came  in,  and  her  white  cheeks  seemed  to  turn  whiter 
as  she  first  clenched  her  hands  and  then  thrust  them 
down  into  her  lap  as  if  to  control  herself,  and  then, 
rising,  said : 

"  My  husband,  Mr.  Sprat." 

Simon  Bulfmch  did  not  extend  his  hand  to  me. 
With  a  smile  upon  his  face  he  said : 

"  Glad  to  know  you,  sir." 

But  not  a  word  did  he  say  to  the  Doctor,  who  sat 
upon  his  chair  looking  surprised  and  shocked,  but 
bravely  maintaining  his  composure.  Simon  knew  that 
he  had  startled  his  brother,  and  I  think  he  felt  a  kind 
of  savage  joy  that  he  could  give  him  pain.  The  hus- 
band put  his  hand  upon  the  wife's  shoulder,  and  made 
as  if  he  would  caress  her,  and  then  as  he  sat  down  he 
drew  Charley  to  him  and  flung  his  arm  about  the  boy; 
and  whether  he  touched  the  wife  or  the  boy,  he  per- 
ceived, and  so  did  I,  that  it  was  as  if  a  knife  were  driven 
into  the  flesh  of  the  schoolmaster. 

Before  a  minute  had  passed  or  another  word  had 
been  spoken,  Mrs.  Bulfinch  rose,  and  excusing  herself, 
withdrew  from  the  room.  Then  the  Doctor,  in  kindly 
tones,  asked  Charley  to  leave.  His  father  ordered  him 
to  stay,  but  the  boy  without  hesitating  followed  his 
mother.  A  flash  of  anger  swept  over  Simon's  face  at 
this,  but  instantly  the  mocking  smile  returned.  Thrust- 
ing his  hands  deep  into  his  pockets,  and  stretching  out 
his  legs  wide  apart,  he  said  to  the  Doctor : 


86  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Well,  my  jolly  old  pedagogue,  aren't  you  glad  to 
see  me  ?  You  are  not  married  yet  ?  Ah,  what  a  mis- 
take. How  much  loss  for  some  fine  woman!  And 
this,"  he  said,  nodding  his  head  at  me,  "  is  your  assist- 
ant paddler  of  the  little  boys." 

I  rose  to  leave.  There  could  be  no  reason,  I  thought, 
why  I  should  quietly  endure  insolence. 

"  Will  you  stay  with  me,  Mr.  Sprat?"  said  the  Doc- 
tor earnestly,  "  I  shall  think  it  a  high  favor." 

"  You  had  better  stay,  my  young  friend,"  said  Simon, 
"  and  take  some  lessons  in  brotherly  love.  Maybe  you 
will  hear  something  that  will  interest  you.  Suppose, 
dominie,  I  should  tell  your  lieutenant  here  something 
nice  about  your  past  life?  Perhaps  he  might  think 
you  need  whipping  more  than  the  little  boys  do." 

"  Will  you  never  cease  to  do  evil,  Simon  ?"  asked 
the  Doctor  calmly. 

"  Shall  I  become  a  schoolmaster,"  replied  Simon, 
"and  wear  a  black  coat,  and  plaster  my  wall  with 
Scripture  texts,  and  snivel  prayers,  and  look  solemn, 
and  go  to  church  ?  That  pays  sometimes,  if  you  can 
have  trust  funds  in  your  hands.  Sprat,  how  do  you 
like  living  under  the  reign  of  love  according  to  the 
Shorter  Catechism  ?" 

I  did  not  answer. 

"  I  thought  and  hoped,"  said  the  Doctor,  "  that  we 
had  seen  the  last  of  you,  and  that  you  would  perse- 
cute this  poor  woman  no  more." 

"  I  must  come  back,"  said  Simon,  laughing,  "  to  watch 
you.  You  know  you  don't  pay  my  wife  her  full  in- 
come." 

"  I  need  give  no  account  of  that  to  you,"  replied  the 
Doctor,  "  but  your  statement  is,  of  course,  untrue." 


DR.   BULFINCH'S   BROTHER.  87 

"  I  believe  you  have  stolen  part  of  the  principal," 
said  Simon  savagely,  but  still  smiling  grimly.  "  I  will 
compel  you  to  give  an  account  of  it." 

"  You  will  compel  me  !"  exclaimed  the  Doctor  scorn- 
fully. "  Your  day  of  doom  will  have  come  when  you 
go  into  a  court  against  me." 

Simon's  appearance  of  mocking  gaiety  began  to 
vanish.  He  grew  white  about  the  nostrils. 

"  My  wife  needs  a  thousand  dollars  of  her  own 
money  now,"  said  Simon,  "  and  unless  you  give  it  to 
her  I  will — "  He  hesitated.  "  This  community  and 
the  parents  of  the  little  boys  will  be  interested  to  learn 
what  I  know  about  you." 

"  I  do  not  fear  you,"  said  Dr.  Bulfinch,  quietly. 

Simon  went  to  the  door  and  called  Mrs.  Bulfinch. 
She  came  into  the  room  and  sat  over  by  her  husband. 
She  looked  like  a  woman  half  distracted.  Simon  put 
his  arm  upon  the  back  of  her  chair  as  if  to  appear  to 
indicate  a  caress. 

"  My  dear,"  he  said,  "  I  have  told  this  schoolmaster 
that  you  badly  need  some  money  for  your  own  use. 
That  is  so,  isn't  it  ?" 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Bulfinch,  timidly. 

"  But,  sister — "  began  the  Doctor. 

"  Sister  !"  said  Simon,  scornfully.   "  Don't  insult  her !" 

"  You  know,"  continued  the  Doctor,  "  exactly  what 
your  income  is,  and  that  you  have  it  all.  There  is  no 
more." 

"  You  want  a  part  of  the  principal,  don't  you  ?" 
asked  Simon.  "  We  are  going  away  from  here,  Helen, 
to  start  life  again  together." 

Mrs.  Bulfinch  did  not  say  yes,  but  she  looked  an 
affirmative  answer. 


88  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  It  is  impossible,  sister,"  said  the  Doctor.  "  I  can- 
not believe  that  you  would  trust  this  man  again.  He 
wants  your  money,  not  for  you,  but  for  his  companion 
in  crime." 

Mrs.  Bulfinch  shivered,  and  did  not  answer.  It  was 
clear  enough  she  believed  what  the  Doctor  said,  and 
yet  was  tiying  to  believe  that  her  husband  had  come 
to  her  again  to  be  faithful  to  her. 

"  You  lying  rascal !"  said  Simon,  savagely,  all  traces 
of  mockery  having  disappeared  from  his  manner. 

Mrs.  Bulfinch  put  her  hand  upon  her  husband's  arm, 
as  if  to  implore  him  not  to  speak  in  such  a  manner. 

"  I  must  withdraw  you  and  Charley  from  this  man's 
evil  influence,"  he  said.  He  thought  that  threat,  which 
he  might  perhaps  have  executed,  would  fill  the  Doc- 
tor's soul  with  terror.  "  You  will  come  with  me, 
won't  you,  Helen  ?" 

Again  she  refused  to  speak,  but  seemed  as  if  she 
would  have  found  it  hard  to  refuse  to  obey  her  hus- 
band's summons. 

"  The  income  stops  when  you  leave  here,  sister," 
said  the  Doctor.  "  I  am  instructed  to  retain  it  all  until 
Charley  is  of  age  if  Simon  touches  it." 

"  I  will  kill  you,  you  scoundrel,"  said  Simon,  in  a 
rage,  half  rising  and  shaking  his  fist  at  the  Doctor. 
"  Will  you  give  her  her  money  or  not  ?" 

"  Not  a  dollar  while  you  are  within  reach,"  answered 
the  Doctor,  quietly. 

Simon  saw  that  he  had  lost  the  game.  It  is  hard  to 
believe  he  could  ever  have  really  hoped  to  win  it  in 
such  a  fashion.  He  dropped  his  eyes  for  a  moment  as 
if  he  were  reflecting,  and  then,  resuming  his  old  man- 
ner, he  said  to  me  : 


DR.   BULFINCH'S   BROTHER. 


89 


"  When  you  know  the  schoolmaster,  Sprat,  you  will 
understand  the  kind  of  man  who  can  persecute  and 
bully  a  woman  all  through  her  life  because  he  was  so 
repulsive  that  she  shrank  with  disgust  from  marrying 
him." 

That  thrust  plainly  went  home.  Dr.  Bulfinch's  face 
indicated  horror  and  dismay.  Mrs.  Bulfinch  put  her 


Will  you  give  hei'  her  money 
or  not  ?" 


hand  again  upon  Simon's  arm  and  tried  to  stop  him. 
He  pushed  her  away  as  if  she  too  were  disgusting,  and 
as  she  shrank  aside,  looking  as  if  he  had  stabbed  her, 
he  rose  and  said : 

"  Sprat,  I  say  to  you,  for  I  won't  defile  my  speech 
by  addressing  your  friend,  that  the  schoolmaster's  day 
of  grace  is  past.  He  wants  war  to  the  knife,  and  now 


90  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

he  will  get  it.  I  will  break  up  his  school  and  drive 
him  from  the  town." 

Then  Simon  Bulfinch  strode  to  the  door,  opened  it 
and  went  out,  while  his  wife,  watching  his  retreat  as 
she  stood  by  the  window,  began  to  cry  bitterly. 

I  had  seen  and  heard  more  than  enough,  and  so  I 
also  withdrew,  and  left  Dr.  Bulfinch  with  the  woman 
who  cared  not  for  him,  though  he  alone  was  her  stay, 
her  protector,  and  her  friend. 

The  day  was  not  yet  ended  as  I  strolled  by  the  side 
of  the  brook  on  my  homeward  journey,  and  as  the  air 
was  warm  and  the  sky  bright,  I  thought  to  linger  by 
the  stream,  while  my  mind  was  filled  with  thoughts  of 
the  scene  I  had  just  witnessed.  So  I  sat  upon  one  of 
the  rustic  benches  looking  out  over  the  water ;  and  as 
I  looked  I  wondered  if  Simon  Bulfinch  did  indeed 
know  of  any  action  in  the  brother's  life  that  would  hurt 
him  if  it  were  revealed,  or  if  Simon's  talk  were  merely 
the  foolish,  angry  vaporing  of  a  bad  man.  And  then 
I  was  selfish  enough  to  try  to  conjecture  what  my 
position  would  be  if  the  school  should  be  broken  up. 
My  thought  even  went  so  far  as  to  consider  the  possi- 
bility that  I  might  take  the  school  if  the  Doctor 
should  be  driven  out.  But  that  notion  seemed  upon 
reflection  to  be  almost  shameful. 

While  I  turned  over  these  matters  in  my  mind,  I 
saw  approaching  me  'Lias  Guff,  Colonel  Bantam's  big 
policeman.  He  had  in  leash  two  large  dogs,  evidently 
Mr.  Pelican's  bloodhounds,  and  it  was  plain  enough 
that  the  policeman  regarded  the  dogs  with  much 
respect,  perhaps  even  with  apprehension.  When  they 
hurried  he  hurried,  and  when  they  were  disposed  to 
linger  he  good-naturedly  stopped,  and  his  address  to 


DR.   BULFINCH'S   BROTHER, 


them  was  always  framed  in  soothing  language  and 
expressed  in  tones  of  tenderness. 

Perceiving  me,  he  halted,  and  rinding  the  shade  of 
the  trees  and  the  comfortable  bench  inviting,  he  tied 
the  dogs  to  a  nearby 
tree,  and  sitting  be- 
side me,  he  re- 
moved his  helmet 
and  wiped  his  very 
red  forehead  with  a 
very  red  and  very 
large  handkerchief. 

"  What  dogs  are 
those  ?"  I  asked. 

"  Them's  Spiker's 
bloodhounds,"  an- 
swered the  police- 
man. "  His  honor 
the  Mayor  didn't 
like  'em  around  the 
house,  and  so  I'm 
a-taking  them  up 
to  the  station-house 
to  use  them  to  ketch 
criminals.  I  don't 
really  care  much 

about  them  myself,"  and  'Lias  Guff  turned  his  eyes 
toward  the  dogs,  which  were  lying  quietly  under  the 
tree,  with  their  tongues  out,  panting. 

'Lias  Guff's  voice  was  deep  and  husky.  Once,  no 
doubt,  it  had  been  a  bass  voice,  but  now  it  conveyed 
the  idea  that  the  vocal  cords  had  either  lost  their  ten- 
sion or  become  rusty.  There  was  not  a  clear  vibration 


'Lias  Guff. 


92  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

in  it,  and  it  seemed  to  come  from  some  point  in  his 
body  far  below  his  lungs. 

'Lias   Guff,   looking  away  from  the   dogs,   glanced 
upward  at  the  trees,  and  then  said : 
"  Let's  see,  this  is  Friday,  ain't  it  ?" 
"  Yes." 

"  And   you   don't  see  no  jaybirds  around  yer,  do 
you  ?" 

"  1  haven't  looked  for  any." 

"  No,  and  no  matter  how  hard  you  look,  you  won't 
see  none,  not  this  day." 
"Why  not?" 

"  Because  all  the  jaybirds  goes  to  purgatory  every 
Friday." 

"What  for?" 

"  I  dunno.     All  I  know  is  that  they  goes  ;  and  they 

all  come  back  prompt 
on  a  Saturday.  You'll 
see  'em  yer  in  the 
morning,  swarms  of 
'em." 

"  It  is  curious,  isn't 
it  ?"  I  ventured  to 
suggest. 

"  Yes,   and   there's 
lots  of  other  curious 
things  in  this  yer  life  ; 
not    that    I    care   for 
life,"  said  'Lias  with  a  vast  sigh,  "  for  to  me  life  is 
holler,  empty,  and  woid.     I   never  got  no  fair  start  in 
it ;  for,  ef  the  truth  were  known,  I'm  a  changeling." 
"  You  are  ?" 
"  Yes,  sir,"   said  'Lias  Guff,  with  strong  emphasis, 


DR.    BULFINCH'S    BROTHER.  93 

"  changed  by  the  fairies  in  my  cradle.  I  am  really  the 
son  of  a  great  lord,  and  I  was  born  rich ;  born  in  a 
higher  spear.  You  know  Felix  Acorn,  the  barber  ? 
Well,  he's  the  seventh  son  of  a  seventh  son,  barring 
one  daughter  that  slipped  in  betwixt  and  between  the 
fourth  and  fifth  boy.  He  has  second  sight,  and  he 
told  me  I  was  a  changeling,  and  I  think  I  have  second 
sight  myself,  for  I've  seen  my  doppelganger  many's  the 
time." 

"  Where  ?" 

"  Right  yer  in  this  Happy  Hollow,  on  this  yer 
street;  seen  it  a  walking  ahead  of  me,  uniform  and 
buttons  and  all.  Some  people  don't  believe  in  sech 
things,  and  maybe  I  don't  believe  in  'em,  because  I 
know  'em,  and  knowin'  is  better  than  believin'.  Do 
you  wear  an  eel-skin  on  your  left  leg  when  you  go  in 
swimmin'  ?  No  ?  Well,  I  do.  It's  a  sure  thing  agin' 
cramps,  and  a  hoss  chestnut  in  your  pocket  is  a  sure 
thing  agin'  warts,  and  I  never  have  no  luck  when  I 
leave  my  rabbit's-foot  at  home.  And  there's  some  peo- 
ple don't  have  no  faith  in  dreams ;  but  I  never  knowed 
them  to  miss  once  when  you  have  the  right  kind  of  a 
dream-book.  Did  you  ever  see  a  mermaid  ?" 

I  told  him  I  never  had. 

"  You  know,  Mr.  — ,  Mr.  — ,  what  did  you  say  your 
name  was,  sir  ?  Sprat,  and  a  mighty  good  name  Sprat 
is,  too,  sir.  I  knowed  a  man  in  Barbadoes  named 
Sprat.  Well,  Mr.  Sprat,  this  Felix  Acorn,  who  in 
spite  of  his  natural  gifts  ain't  got  wery  good  sense,  he 
says  to  me  there  is  no  sech  bein'  as  a  mermaid ;  and  I 
says  to  him,  '  Yes  there  is,  because  I  seen  one ;  seen 
one  and  knowed  one,  and  had  conwersation  with 
one.' " 


94  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Where  ?" 

"  Why,  sir,  I  followed  the  sea  man  and  boy  twenty 
years,  and  I  seen  many's  the  strange  sight.  Would 
you  believe  me  if  I  was  to  tell  you  that  on  my  voyage 
in  the  bark  Win.  I.  Heffelfinger  we  sailed  through 
miles  of  wines  that  was  a-floatin'  on  the  sea,  and  that 
the  wines  sprung  up  on  the  riggin'  of  the  bark,  and 
growed  there  and  growed  there  till  it  seemed  that  the 
bark  Win.  L  Heffelfinger  was  just  a  sailin'  bower  of 
beauty?  No,  you  wouldn't  believe  it,  but  that  werry 
thing  happened  to  me,  sir,  jest  as  it  happened  to  me 
that  I  seen  and  conwersed  with  a  mermaid. 

"  It  was  whilst  we  were  anchored  in  a  bay  in  the 
island  of  Samoa  out  in  the  Pacific  Ocean.  You  must 
know,  sir,  there's  two  kinds  of  'em,  one  with  scales 
and  one  without,  like  a  catfish,  and  the  scale  kind  is 
the  most  intelligent  and  agreeable  ;  only  to  talk  honest, 
I  don't  keer  so  much  for  any  of  'em. 

"  Well,  sir,  I  met  this  one  when  I  was  a-fishin'  one 
evenin'.  She  came  up  to  the  boat  and  seemed  to 
want  to  be  kinder  sociable,  taking  hold  of  the  gunn'le 
with  her  hands  and  h'istin'  herself  half  out  of  the  water. 
Her  name,  I  think,  was  Lulu,  but  I'm  not  quite  cer- 
tain ;  something  like  that,  anyhow,  and  I  hardly  knowed 
what  to  say  that  would  interest  her,  but  kinder  keer- 
less-like,  without  thinkin',  I  asked  her  if  bait  had  any 
attraction  for  her,  and  it  made  her  so  mad  I  thought 
she'd  upset  the  boat.  Howsomedever,  I  made  it  up 
with  her  and  gave  her  some  candy,  and  then  she  ups 
and  tells  me  that  the  longin'  of  her  life  was  to  learn  to 
play  on  the  pianner,  and  she  would  a-done  it  only  she 
could  never  manage  to  set  on  the  stool. 

"  Candy  seemed  to  warm  her  heart.     She  said  she 


DR.   BULFINCH'S    BROTHER.  95 

was  awful  tired  of  sea-food,  and  she  asked  me  if  I  had 
any  chewin'  gum  about  me,  but  of  course  I  hadn't  ; 
pore  thing !  Mr.  Sprat,  I'd  a-married  Lulu  could  I 
a-lived  under  water,  exceptin'  that  it  would  a-gone 
hard  with  me  to  give  up  smokin'  terbacker,  which  of 
course  I'd  a  had  to  tlo  in  them  circumstances. 

"  So  then  when  I  spoke  of  marryin'  she  said  if  she 
could  live  on  land  she  was  willin'.  She  said  she  wanted 
to  leave  her  home  anyway,  because  she  was  mad  with 
her  ma." 

"  What  was  the  difficulty?" 

"  Her  ma  wouldn't  let  her  wear  ribbon  on  her  dorsal 
fin,  and  that  seemed  to  wex  Lulu  so  much  that  she 
said  she  wouldn't  care  a  cent  if  she  never  seen  her  ma 
agin." 

'Lias  Guff  sighed  once  more,  as  he  thought  of  the 
lovely  vision  that  had  appeared  to  him,  then  he  rose 
and  pulled  down  his  jacket  and  put  on  his  helmet,  and 
said  : 

"  But  I  must  be  a-goin',  I  know  my  duty,  and  his 
honor'll  tell  you  I  tries  to  do  it.  His  honor  often  says 
Duty  ought  to  be  my  motter,  and  I  always  say  to  him, 
'  Add  Wigilance  to  it,  and  I'm  your  man.'  Them's 
words,  sir,  for  a  p'liceman :  Wigilance,  Wirtue,  Wigor, 
and  Wictory." 

And  'Lias  Guff  began  to  untie  the  bloodhounds. 
While  he  was  doing  so,  Colonel  Bantam  came  up, 
whereupon  'Lias  straightened  himself,  drew  his  feet 
together  and  saluted  the  Mayor,  who  returned  the 
salute  with  his  cane.  He  seemed  surprised  to  find  his 
police  force  lingering  here. 

"  Why,  officer,  how  is  this  ?     Loitering  upon  duty  ?" 

"  Obeyin'  orders,  sir,"  said  'Lias.     "  I  was  a  leadin' 


96  .     IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

the  dogs  to  the  station,  and  I  tied  'em  yer  to  let  'em 
get  their  wind." 

The  dogs  moved  nearer  to  the  Colonel  and  appeared 
to  wish  to  be  sociable  with  him ;  but  he  came  round 
to  my  side  of  the  bench  and  said,  sharply : 

"  Officer,  remove  the  hounds  at  once.  Make  them 
secure  in  the  rear  yard  and  report  to  me  at  eight 
o'clock." 

As  'Lias  Guff  led  the  dogs  away,  the  Colonel  and  I 
began  to  stroll  homeward.  Linking  his  arm  in  mine, 
and  limping  more  heavily  than  usual,  he  began  to  tell 
me  that  he  was  descended  from  the  Plantagenets.  He 
showed  me  how  the  name  Bantam  was  really  a  cor- 
ruption of  the  name  Plantagenet.  I  forget  exactly  how 
the  change  gradually  was  made,  but  I  remember  he 
insisted  that  the  syllable  "  ant "  in  the  two  names  was 
"  a  root  syllable,"  which,  taken  from  Plantagenet,  had 
produced  Bantam. 

He  said  further  that  all  the  evidence  indicated  Henry 
the  Eighth  as  his  ancestor,  and  that  he  made  this  con- 
fession to  me  in  the  confidence  of  friendship  because 
he  was  by  no  means  proud  of  such  a  forefather. 

A  later  member  of  the  family,  he  said,  had  become 
weary  of  affairs  of  state,  and  had  retired  to  his  castle 
at  Cnwyddl,  in  Wales ;  where  the  clan  had  remained 
for  several  generations,  until  his  own  great-great-grand- 
father, to  escape  persecution,  fled  from  the  country,  and 
reached  the  hospitable  shores  of  this  continent  in 
severely  reduced  circumstances. 

"  In  truth,  Professor,"  continued  Colonel  Bantam, 
"  that  primitive  and  original  condition  of  reduced  cir- 
cumstances has  remained  with  all  his  descendants 
down  to  the  present  time.  It  is  distasteful  to  me  to 


DR.   BULFINCH'S    BROTHER. 


97 


dwell  upon  matters  of  the  kind,  and  particularly  with 
a  friend,  but  I  know  I  can  count  upon  your  affection- 
ate solicitude  when  I  mention  to  you  that  an  unfor- 
seen  combination  of  events  has  produced  a  momentary 
lull  in  my  finances,  and  if  you  could  let  me  have  five 
dollars  on  account, 
strictly  on  account, 
without  subjecting 
yourself  to  embar- 
rassment, you  would 
impart  a  new  aspect 
of  sacredness  to  the 
bonds  of  our  friend- 
ship." 

I  handed  him  the 
money. 

"Sir,"  he  said,  as 
he  thrust  it  into  his 
vest  pocket,  "this 
represents  a  debt  of 
honor.  I  make  you 
a  preferred  creditor." 

Dinner  was  ready 
when  we  reached 
home,  and  at  the 
table  I  mentioned 
that  I  had  called 
with  the  Doctor  at  the  house  of  Mrs.  Bulfinch  ;  but  I 
did  not  tell  what  occurred  there. 

The   Colonel,   however,    in  affecting   language,   de- 
plored the  lonely  situation  of  Mrs.  Bulfinch,  and  said : 

"  Sir,  the  sorrow  of  it  is  that  every  woman,  like  a 
feeble  vine,  needs  a  sturdy  oak  of  a  husband  to  cling 
7 


I  make  you  a  preferred  creditor." 


98  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

to  and  to  reach  out  to  with  her  tendrils ;  and  to  think 
that  that  unfortunate  woman  can  cling  to  nothing, 
absolutely  nothing!"  and  Colonel  Bantam  touched  his 
eyes  with  his  napkin. 

But  Miss  Bantam  openly  scoffed  at  the  theory. 

"  I  have  heard  you  and  other  people  talk  in  that 
way  before,  paw,  and  to  my  mind  it  is  perfectly  absurd. 
Clinging  vine !  Imagine  me  a  clinging  vine,  indeed ! 
I  see  myself  clinging  to  a  man  !  Tendrils  !  Humph  ! 
If  I  ever  have  a  husband  I  expect  to  keep  him  in 
pocket-money,  and  have  him  run  about  and  play  and 
do  errands  while  I  attend  to  the  stern  duties  of  my 
profession." 

"  Elmira,  I  am  ashamed  of  you !"  said  Mrs.  Bantam. 

"  Miss  Mortimer  wants  nobody  to  fasten  her  tendrils 
on,  I  think,  do  you,  Miss  Mortimer  ?  She  is  fully  able 
to  take  care  of  herself." 

Miss  Mortimer  colored,  and  I  thought  Mr.  Spiker 
looked  warm  and  uncomfortable. 

"  We  want  no  trellis  to  hold  us  up,"  continued  Miss 
Bantam.  "  If  it  were  not  for  women  society  would  go 
to  pieces.  They  *are  usually  more  honest  and  have 
more  sense  than  men.  The  men  are  all  afraid  of  us 
anyhow,"  and  Elmira  helped  herself  a  second  time  to 
dessert,  wielding  the  spoon  as  if  it  were  an  implement 
of  war. 

"  I  never  could  have  imagined,"  said  the  Colonel,  as 
we  left  the  table,  "that  I  should  have  such  pernicious 
and  revolutionary  sentiments  expressed  within  the 
'sacred  precincts  of  my  home  by  my  own  offspring.  It 
is  simply  shocking!  Frail  indeed  would  be  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam's hold  upon  existence  if  she  could  not  sustain  her- 
self by  clinging  fondly  to  me." 


DR.    BULFINCH'S   BROTHER.  99 

Miss  Bantam  went  to  her  office  after  dinner,  and 
while  I  remained  in  the  parlor  with  the  rest  of  the 
family,  and  was  talking  with  Ruby  and  Miss  Mortimer, 
Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam,  on  the  other  side  of  the 
room,  engaged  in  conversation  in  an  undertone ;  but 
at  last  Mrs.  Bantam  burst  into  tears,  and  as  her  hair, 
as  usual,  began  to  disengage  itself  from  the  knot  in 
which  it  was  tied,  she  exclaimed : 

"  It  will  kill  me,  Joseph." 

The  Colonel  seemed  worried  and  angry.  Turning 
toward  us,  he  said  : 

"These  conjugal  disagreements  must  be  unpleasant 
for  my  friends,  as  they  are  mortifying  to  me ;  but  I 
cannot  yield  a  fraction  of  an  inch  where  important 
principles  are  involved." 

"  N6t  principles,  Joseph,"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Bantam, 
with  streaming  eyes. 

"  Yes,  principles.  I  will  explain,  Professor.  It  falls 
to  my  lot,  in  my  capacity  of  chief  magistrate  of  the 
city,  sometimes  to  join  affectionate  couples  in  the  sacred 
bonds  of  matrimony.  My  charges  are  moderate,  and 
I  perform  the  function  in  an  impressive  and  solemn 
manner.  Now  Mrs.  Bantam  is  so  inconsiderate  as  to 
insist  that  I  shall  not  kiss  the  bride." 

"  I  cannot  bear  it,  Joseph,"  moaned  Mrs.  Bantam, 
bursting  afresh  into  tears.  "  It  pierces  my  very  soul." 

"  The  operation,  Professor,"  explained  the  Colonel, 
"  is  a  pure  formality.  It  is  the  mere  official  seal  of 
approval  to  a  solemn  ceremony.  It  is  perfunctory.  It 
was  done  in  the  most  ancient  times,  as  far  back  as 
Babylon,  and  I  have  always  been  unwilling  to  break 
away  from  the  past,  from  tradition." 

But  Mrs.  Bantam  refused  to  be  comforted,  and  as 


ioo  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

the  Colonel's  heart  was  hardened  to  her,  he  left  her, 
weeping  and  trying  to  put  up  her  hair,  and  walked  out 
with  me  as  I  started  for  the  post-office. 

When  we  were  upon  the  street  I  ventured  to  remon- 
strate with  him.  I  said  that  Mrs.  Bantam  was  an 
angelic  woman,  and  that  something  should  be  con- 
ceded to  her  feelings  in  such  a  matter. 

"  Hardly  angelic,  Professor,"  said  the  Colonel,  tap- 
ping my  arm  with  the  knob  of  his  cane.  "  The  classi- 
fication is  lacking  in  precision.  Not  an  angel.  Let  us 
say  a  peri.  The  peri  place  is  just  about  her  level. 
Ultimately,  perhaps,  angelic,  but  not  now ;  possibly 
after  a  period  of  probation." 

I  came  home  early  and  was  summoned  to  the  library, 
where  Ruby  Bonner  wished  for  help  with  her  lessons. 
I  spent  at  least  an  hour  with  Ruby,  showing  her  how 
the  mysteries  of  arithmetic  and  geometry  might  be 
solved.  She  had  been  carrying  with  her  thus  far  in  life 
the  conviction  that  a  hypothenuse  has  some  relation 
to  a  musical  instrument.  This  belief  seems  to  have 
been  formed  upon  the  basis  of  the  fact  that  a  hypoth- 
enuse is  part  of  a  triangle,  and,  not  unnaturally  per- 
haps, Ruby's  experience  with  Mr.  Pelican's  orchestra 
had  warped  her  mind  away  from  the  idea  of  a  geo- 
metrical triangle.  We  were  just  completing  our  read- 
justment of  the  facts  relating  to  the  hypothenuse 
when  we  heard  Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  coming 
through  the  hallway.  They  stood  at  the  door  of  the 
library  hand-in-hand  and  smiling,  and  Mrs.  Bantam 
inquired : 

"  Can  we  come  in  ?" 

"  It  is  only  fair,  Professor,"  said  Colonel  Bantam,  as 
he  and  Mrs.  Bantam  entered  the  room,  "  that  as  you 


DR.    BULFINCH'S    BROTHER.  101 

were  present  when  the  recent  unhappy  breach  of 
friendly  relations  occurred  between  Mrs.  Bantam  and 
myself,  you  should  now  become  a  witness  to  the  fact 
that  there  has  been  a  complete  and  affecting  reconcilia- 
tion. The  wound  has  been  healed." 

I  expressed  satisfaction. 

"  You  were  right,  Professor,"  continued  the  Colonel, 
passing  his  arm  about  Mrs.  Bantam's  waist.  "  She  is 
an  angel ;  a  perfect  angel.  It  stabs  me  to  the  heart  to 
think  that  my  unfeeling  conduct  brought  tears  to  those 
lovely  eyes.  May  this  sad  experience  teach  you,  when 
you  are  married,  to  practice  unselfishness.  This 
seraphic  woman  has  agreed  to  forgive  the  past  and 
to  continue  to  enshroud  me  with  her  affection  if  I  will 
consent  hereafter  merely  to  kiss  the  bride  upon  the 
forehead,  and  I  have  consented.  Believe  me,  compro- 
mise is  the  secret  of  conjugal  happiness." 

"The  forehead,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  looking  fondly 
at  the  Colonel,  "  is  the  seat  of  the  intellect ;  the  lips 
are  the  abode  of  the  affections.  I  could  not  bear  that 
Joseph  should  even  tinge  with  the  appearance  of  affec- 
tion the  magisterial  act  which  he  is  summoned  to 
perform.  I  could  not  survive  it.  That  he  should  have 
consented  to  restrict  osculation  to  the  forehead  is 
characteristic  of  that  nobility  of  soul  that  .has  always 
endeared  him  to  me." 

Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  having  received  my  con- 
gratulations, they  withdrew  to  the  parlor,  and  Ruby 
and  I,  turning  from  the  school  of  the  affections,  re- 
sumed our  examination  of  the  science  of  geometry. 


the  breakfast  table  in  the  morning  Mr. 
v  Spiker  supplied  the  surprising  but 
agreeable  information  that  A.  J.  Pelican  had  recovered 
himself  financially,  and  was  about  to  return  to  Happy 
Hollow  to  pay  his  debts,  and  to  begin  an  enterprise 
concerning  which  Mr.  Spiker  would  say  nothing  of  a 
definite  character.  The  mystery  was  unquestionably 
stimulative.  Mr.  Spiker  also  said  that  he  should  have 
a  call  from  Pelican  that  very  day  at  the  office  of  the 
National  Defender,  and  as  Saturday  was  my  day  of 
leisure,  he  invited  me  to  call  with  Miss  Mortimer,  with 
whom,  indeed,  he  had  an  important  engagement. 

When  Mr.  Spiker  and  the  Colonel  had  left  the  house 
after  breakfast,  I  sat  for  a  while  in  the  library  reading 
the  National  Defender  and  smoking.  I  was  alone  in 
the  room,  but  after  a  time  Mrs.  Bantam  entered. 
Closing  the  door,  and  seating  herself  near  to  me,  she 
said : 

"  Dear  Mr.  Sprat,  I  have  ever  found  you  a  sym- 
pathetic friend  and  a  judicious  counsellor,  and  I  come  to 
you  now  to  ask  if  I  may  in  the  strictest  confidence 

102 


THE   BOOM    BEGINS.  103 

give  free  expression  to  the  feelings  that  agitate  my 
mind  and  fill  it  with  deepest  concern.  Will  you  with 
your  accustomed  generosity  help  me  if  you  can  ?" 

I  was  more  than  indisposed  to  have  the  burden  of 
Mrs.  Bantam's  troubles  pressed  upon  me,  but  I  could 
not  be  unkind,  so  I  asked  her  what  service  I  could 
perform  for  her.  She  answered  : 

"  It  may  seem  very  strange  to  you,  dear  Mr.  Sprat, 
very,  very  strange,  but  I  state  the  case  in  absolutely 
unaffected  language  when  I  say  that  I  am  most  un- 
happy." 

I  said  I  was  distressed  to  hear  this,  and  I  asked  her 
the  cause  of  her  suffering. 

"  It  is  Joseph's  love.  I  cannot  explain  it.  I  know 
you  will  laugh  at  me  and  think  me  silly,  and  perhaps 
censure  me ;  but  you  do  not  know  a  woman's  heart, 
Mr.  Sprat.  I  am  so  happy  in  possession  of  Joseph's 
affection  that  it  makes  me  perfectly,  perfectly  miserable." 

I  hardly  knew  how  to  offer  any  comfort  to  a  sufferer 
under  such  circumstances,  and  so  I  said  I  thought  the 
information  surprising. 

"  It  is  surprising,  Mr.  Sprat,  perhaps,  to  you,  but  all 
love  is  mysterious,  and  I  cannot  hope  to  excite  a  sym- 
pathetic throb  in  the  soul  of  one  who  has  himself  never 
loved ;  but,  surprising  or  not  surprising,  the  appall- 
ing truth  is  that  Joseph's  love  for  me  fills  me  with  both 
joy  and  anguish." 

I  said  that  I  was  indeed  sorry  to  hear  this,  but  my 
sorrow  could  not  overcome  the  curiosity  I  experienced 
to  know  just  how  the  suffering  in  question  was  pro- 
duced. 

"  In  this  way,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  drying  her  eyes 
tenderly  with  her  handkerchief.  "  His  love  first  makes 


104  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

me  perfectly  happy.  Then  I  begin  to  realize  that  if  he 
should  ever  cease  to  love  me  I  should  be  filled  with 
wild  despair,  actual  despair.  Then  I  think  of  the  many 
things  that  might  naturally  happen  to  diminish  the 
ardor  of  his  feelings,  such  as  giving  the  official  saluta- 
tion to  brides,  and  similar  things ;  and  this  reflection 
simply  fills  my  soul  with  darkness — black  darkness." 

Very  heartily  I  wished  that  Mrs.  Bantam  would 
carry  away  her  load  of  misery  and  permit  me  to  finish 
reading  Spiker's  impressive  article  on  The  Impending 
Crisis  ;  but  it  seemed  clearly  my  duty  to  suggest  some 
method  by  which  the  poor  woman's  suffering  could  be 
alleviated,  and  so  at  last,  at  a  venture,  I  said  : 

"  Well,  Mrs.  Bantam,  really  I  am  a  poor  counsellor 
about  such  things,  but  it  occurs  to  me  that  if  the  Colo- 
nel's love  makes  you  so  unhappy,  you  might  possibly 
find  happiness  by  inducing  him  not  to  love  you." 

"Oh,  not  that,  Mr.  Sprat;  not  that!"  and  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam wept  and  put  her  hand  to  the  back  of  her  head 
to  restrain  the  dishevelling  impulses  of  her  hair. 

"  Because,"  I  continued,  "  if  when  he  loves  you  you 
are  miserable  at  the  thought  that  he  may  stop  loving 
you  sometime  or  other,  mere  untrained  reason  would 
suggest  that  if  he  didn't  love  you,  you  might  be  happy 
in  the  thought  that  perhaps  some  day  or  other  he 
might  begin  to  love  you.  Just  turn  the  thing,  so  to 
speak,  around  the  other  way." 

By  this  time  Mrs.  Bantam's  utterance  was  completely 
choked  by  tears,  and  the  knot  at  the  rear  of  her  head 
was  gone,  and  so  I  resumed  examination  of  The  Im- 
pending Crisis  until  the  storm  should  blow  over  and 
her  tresses  could  be  rewound.  At  length  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam acquired  control  enough  of  herself  to  say  : 


THE   BOOM    BEGINS.  105 

"  How  little  you  know  the  soul  of  woman  !  Yes, 
Joseph's  love  and  the  apprehension  of  losing  it  makes 
me  wretched,  but  far,  far  more  wretched  would  I  be  in 
the  contingency  suggested  by  you." 

"  Then,  Mrs.  Bantam,"  I  said  almost  desperately,  "  I 
give  the  thing  up.  If  love  makes  you  wretched  and 
absence  of  love  also  makes  you  wretched,  I  really 
don't  see  what  is  to  be  done  about  it.  There  is  no 
possible  condition  in  which  a  woman  can  be  both  un- 
loved and  loved,  no  middle  ground;  now  is  there? 
Look  at  the  thing  calmly." 

Despair  appeared  to  settle  down  upon  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam's soul,  as  she  clasped  her  hands  upon  her  lap  and 
permitted  her  mind  to  consider  the  situation  ;  and  Mrs. 
Bantam  would  not  have  been  herself  if  tears  had  not 
glistened  in  her  eyes. 

"  There  is  no  solution,"  she  said  at  last,  "  no  solu- 
tion ;  none,  excepting  that  I  might  perhaps  persuade 
Joseph  to  bind  himself  again  by  a  solemn  obligation 
taken  upon  our  dear  family  Bible  that  he  will  never 
cease  to  love  me." 

This  did  seem  to  be  some  sort  of  a  way  out  of  the 
perplexities  of  the  situation,  and  upon  Mrs.  Bantam's 
earnest  and  tearful  request  I  reluctantly  promised  to 
bring  the  matter  to  Colonel  Bantam's  attention  at  an 
early  moment. 

I  joined  Julie  Mortimer  at  the  front  door,  and  to- 
gether we  walked  to  the  office  of  the  National  Defender. 
She  was  bright  and  happy  and  full  of  good  talk,  and 
I  was  glad  to  hear  that  two  or  three  of  her  short  stories 

o 

had  found  acceptance  from  the  magazines  and  weekly 
papers  at  really  high  prices.  This  bright  and  beautiful 
woman  weuld  be  fully  able  to  take  care  of  herself. 


io6 


IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


Spiker  was  fond  of  consulting  with  her  upon  literary 
subjects  and  concerning  his  paper,  and  there  were  very 
plain  indications  that  his  feeling  for  her  was  beginning 
to  go  much  beyond  mere  admiration.  It  seemed  to  all 
of  us  not  unlikely  that  she  might  become  Mrs.  Spiker, 
and  while  the  entire  household  observed  with  interest 
the  movement  of  the  little  drama  of  sentiment,  Mrs. 
Bantam  felt  enthusiasm  kindle  in  her  bosom  as  she 
contemplated  it. 

Mr.  Spiker's  office  had  been  prepared  for  this  visit 
from  Miss  Mortimer.  There  were  no  exchange  papers 
upon  the  floor;  the  desk  had  less  dust  in  the  unused 
corners  ;  the  editor's  paste-pot  was  more  cleanly,  and 

his  feet  were  upon 
the  floor  rather  than 
upon  the  corner  of 
the  desk,  where  he 
most  frequently  held 
them. 

"  I  asked  you  to 
come  around,  Miss 
Julie,"  he  said,  "to 
have  you  consider 
starting  a  new  de- 
partment in  the  De- 
fender. Almost  all 
the  great  dailies  now 
have  what  they  call 

The  Woman's  Department.  a  Woman's  Depart- 

ment, devoted,   you 

know,  to  distinctively  feminine  matters.  We  need  such 
a  thing  in  this  paper,  and  the  thought  occurred  to  me 
that  maybe  you  would  consent  to  manage  it." 


THE   BOOM   BEGINS.  107 

Miss  Mortimer  expressed  willingness  to  think  of  the 
matter. 

"  You  see,"  continued  Mr.  Spiker,  taking  up  one  of 
the  city  dailies,  and  folding  it  over  so  that  he  could 
examine  the  woman's  page,  "  there  are  certain  kinds 
of  things  that  women-readers  seem  to  want.  Here, 
for  example,  is  an  article  entitled  '  How  to  Make  Home 
Happy/  and  another,  '  How  to  Remove  Freckles,'  and 
still  another  explains  '  How  to  Do  Up  Lace  Curtains,' 
and  so  on." 

"  But  I  don't  know  how,"  said  Miss  Mortimer, 
smiling. 

"  And  here's  one  telling  '  How  to  Be  Beautiful.' 
You  needn't  pretend  you  know  nothing  about  that," 
said  the  editor,  gallantly.  "  I  get  inquiries  of  such  a 
kind  all  the  time,  and  hardly  know  what  to  do  with 
them.  A  letter  came  yesterday  from  a  woman  living 
out  in  the  country  somewhere  asking  how  to  wear 
side-combs ;  and  of  course,  as  you  may  believe,  I  just 
had  to  make  a  rough  guess  at  the  right  answer." 

"  I  could  have  answered  that,"  said  Miss  Julie, 
laughing. 

"  That  is  what  I  say :  a  woman  really  ought  to  run 
the  department,"  continued  Mr.  Spiker.  "And  here's 
an  inquiry  how  to  clean  paint  and  varnish,  and  how  to 
wash  cut-glass,  and  a  whole  lot  of  such  things." 

"  Well,  but  Mr.  Spiker,  as  I  say,  I  don't  know  how." 

"Oh,  that  makes  no  difference.  Nobody  really 
knows  how,  not  more  than  half  the  time  at  any  rate. 
You  don't  have  to  know  how.  What  you  want  to  do 
is  just  to  make  interesting  reading.  That  side-comb 
woman,  for  instance,  will  find  when  she  reads  my  ad- 
vice that  she  can't  wear  side-combs  in  that  way,  and 


io8  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

so  she'll  write  to  us  again,  and  don't  you  see,  that 
keeps  up  the  interest.  You  can  get  all  the  actually 
useful  information  you  want  from  the  cook-books  and 
the  exchanges." 

"  I  am  quite  willing  to  try  my  hand,"  said  Julie. 

"Every  now  and  then,  too,"  said  Mr.  Spiker,  "you 
can  put  in  some  sentimental  things.  That  little  poem 
of  yours  on  '  Vistas  '  (and,  by  the  way,  how  perfectly 
lovely  that  is !)  would  fit  right  in  for  a  filler.  But — 
but — I  hate  to  speak  of  it,  Miss  Mortimer,  but  would 
it  be  entirely  agreeable  to  you  to  accept  part  of  your 
compensation — only  a  part,  of  course,  in  bonnets  and 
overshoes  ?" 

Miss  Mortimer  seemed  to  think  this  might  be  ar- 
ranged to  suit  the  editor's  convenience. 

"  The  fact  is,"  continued  Mr.  Spiker  thoughtfully, 
"  I'm  half  snowed  in  with  some  of  those  things.  How 
would  it  do,  do  you  think,  to  try  to  work  off  some  of 
them  through  the  Woman's  Department  ?  You  might 
have  puzzles  and  enigmas  and  offer  prizes  for  their  solu- 
tion ;  shoes  and  gimp  and  the  like.  I  suppose  mantel- 
pieces would  be  almost  too  bulky,  wouldn't  they  ?  It's 
funny  kind  of  luck  for  a  single  man,  but  do  you  know, 
Miss  Julie,  there's  a  man  who  won't  advertise  with  me 
unless  I'll  take  it  out  in  women's  dress  goods,  and  I 
declare  I  haven't  the  least  idea  what  to  do  with  them. 
And  breastpins;  I  judge  that  I  must  have  a  hatful  of 
breastpins  due  to  me." 

Miss  Mortimer  thought  the  case  not  so  very  bad. 

"  It's  a  queer  business,"  said  the  editor  reflectively, 
"forming  public  opinion  upon  a  basis  of  mantel-pieces 
and  overshoes ;  and  then  what  an  outrage  it  is  that 
etiquette  won't  permit  doctors  to  advertise  ?  Worse 


THE   BOOM    BEGINS. 


109 


yet,  you  daren't  reveal  your  sentiments  half  the  time 
for  fear  of  offending  your  advertisers.  I  believe  in 
vegetarianism,  but  if  I  say  so  in  the  paper,  I  not  only 
alienate  the  butchers  who  advertise,  but  all  the  grocers 
who  sell  ham." 

When  Mr.  Spiker  had  concluded  his  arrangement 
with  Miss  Mortimer  about  the  Woman's  Department, 
she  withdrew,  and  she  had  hardly  left  the  room  when 
A.  J.  Pelican  walked  in.  His  outward  appearance  had 
been  transformed.  He  was  handsomely  dressed,  but 
there  was  an  intensity  of  newness  about  his  clothing 
that  I  never  noticed  before  in  any  clothing.  Every- 
thing about  him  was  new,  even  his 
wig,  which  had  a  new  color  as  well 
as  a  new  curliness,  and  the  splendor 
of  the  glitter  of  his  shoes  would  have 
been  actually  impressive  but 
for  the  surpassing  glossiness 
of  his  silk  hat.  As  he  held 
the  hat  in  his  hand  it  was 
almost  dazzling. 

When  last  I  saw  Mr.  Peli- 
can his   mood  was    sombre ; 
but  now  he  was   in 
high    spirits.     He 
greeted  us  both  with 
much  heartiness  and 
joyousness,  and  very 
plainly    showed    by 
his  manner  that  his 
newly  -  found     pros- 
perity had  not  uplifted  his  mind  to  the  vanity  of  haughti- 
ness.    When  he  had  withdrawn  his  rather  gay  and  friv- 


\ 


I've  come  to  make  things  hum." 


i  io  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

olous  leather  gloves  and  dropped  them  into  his  hat,  and 
had  shaken  hands  with  us,  and  pressed  upon  us  better 
cigars  than  I  had  ever  smoked  before,  he  sat  down  and 
began  to  joke  about  having  paid  Spiker  with  the  blood- 
hounds. 

"  And  now,  old  man,"  he  said,  "  what  was  the  amount 
of  that  bill,  anyway  ?"  and  Pelican  pulled  out  a  swollen 
pocketbook  and  withdrew  from  it  a  bunch  of  bank- 
notes. 

Spiker  knew  the  amount  to  a  cent  without  referring 
to  his  books,  but  he  said,  with  affected  reluctance : 

"  That  bill  is  settled  though,  Pelican.  We  called  it 
square  on  the  dogs." 

"  But  you  didn't  want  'em,"  answered  Pelican,  as  he 
counted  out  the  money  upon  the  editor's  desk,  "  and 
I'm  not  the  man  to  go  back  on  a  friend  who  has  ac- 
commodated me.  There's  the  money  ;  never  mind  the 
receipt.  There's  plenty  more  where  that  came  from, 
and  more  for  you,  too." 

A.  J.  Pelican  did  not  reveal  the  source  of  his  pros- 
perity, but,  when  he  had  asked  about  Julie  and  Ruby, 
he  said  that  fortune  had  given  him  command  of  almost 
unlimited  money,  and  he  had  come  back  to  boom 
Happy  Hollow. 

"  I  always  did  like  the  town,"  he  said,  "and  when  I 
was  here  last  I  saw  big  possibilities  in  the  place,  and 
I  made  up  my  mind  I'd  develop  'em.  Well,  here  I 
am,  and  you  can  make  up  your  minds  that  Happy 
Hollow  has  a  future.  I've  come  to  make  things  hum." 

And,  indeed,  as  A.  J.  Pelican  unfolded  to  us  only  a 
part  of  his  plans  there  could  be  no  doubt  at  all  of  the 
splendor  of  the  future  of  Happy  Hollow  if  Pelican 
should  succeed.  To  begin  with,  he  had  already  ap- 


THE   BOOM    BEGINS.  in 

plied  for  a  charter  for  the  Happy  Hollow  Improve- 
ment Company,  which  should  be  the  instrument 
wielded  by  the  enchanter  who  was  to  produce  all 
these  astonishing  transformations.  And  when  Pelican 
had  explained  that  the  company  would  have  two 
million  dollars  capital,  and  that  the  money  was  in 
sight,  and  that  Spiker  and  Colonel  Bantam,  and  even 
I,  should,  go  in  upon  the  ground-floor  almost  without 
cost  to  any  of  us,  Spiker's  eyes  glistened,  and  I  could 
not  help  feeling  that  my  salary  at  Dr.  Bulfmch's  was  a 
poor,  little,  insignificant  thing  after  all. 

"  I'm  going  to  stand  right  by  you,  Spiker,"  said  A. 
J.  Pelican,  warmly,  "  because  you  did  the  fair  thing  by 
me  when  I  was  in  trouble,  and  I'm  going  to  give 
Colonel  Bantam  a  chance  because  he  was  kind  to  Julie 
and  to  Ruby  when  they  were  homeless ;  and  as  for  the 
Professor,  we'll  take  him  in  because  he  is  our  friend 
and  a  mighty  good  fellow  besides." 

Thus  the  outlook  for  Happy  Hollow  and  for  all  the 
folks  who  were  to  go  in  upon  the  ground-floor  seemed 
most  alluring  and  delightful.  I  felt  rich  as  I  listened 
to  Pelican's  talk,  and  as  I  began  to  cast  about  in  my 
mind  what  I  should  do  with  the  wealth  that  would 
come  tumbling  in  upon  me,  I  found  Ruby  included  in 
all  the  plans  I  could  think  of. 

When  we  had  talked  over  all  the  projects  that  A.  J. 
Pelican  had  presented  to  us,  and  had  arranged  for  a 
great  mass-meeting  in  the  Opera  House  at  which  Peli- 
can should  speak  so  as  to  enlist  popular  interest  and 
excite  enthusiasm,  Spiker,  after  reflecting  for  a  moment, 
said: 

"  You  hadn't  arranged  to  start  a  new  cemetery,  had 
you  ?" 


ii2  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  Why,  no,"  said  Pelican,  who  seemed  to  think  the 
question  queer.  "  I  hadn't  thought  of  that.  But  it 
might  be  well  to  put  that  into  the  general  plan.  Ceme- 
teries always  pay.  Does  the  town  want  one,  do  you 
think  ?" 

"  I'm  not  so  sure  it  does,"  responded  Spiker,  "  but  it 
occurred  to  me  that  perhaps  a  new  cemetery  might 
open  a  market  for  some  of  the  tombstones  I've  had  to 
take  in  trade." 

A.  J.  Pelican  laughed,  and  rising  and  patting  the 
editor's  shoulder,  he  said : 

"  Don't  you  bother  about  things  of  that  kind  any 
longer,  Spiker.  Let  the  Defender  back  me  through 
thick  and  thin,  and  you  can  afford  to  snub  your  tomb- 
stone advertisers ;  and  your  bloodhound  advertisers 
too,  for  that  matter,"  and  then  Pelican  laughed  heartily 
again. 

I  went  away  leaving  A.  J.  Pelican  and  the  editor 
busy  preparing  a  poster  which  should  announce  that 
the  mass-meeting  would  be  held  on  the  following 
Monday  night.  The  poster  was  to  be  put  upon  the 
streets,  and  also  to  occupy  the  whole  of  the  last  page 
of  the  National  Defender  on  Monday  morning. 

"  It  is  a  cash  ad.,  Spiker,"  said  Pelican,  in  comfort- 
ing tones. 

Before  I  tell  of  the  mass-meeting  and  of  the  particu- 
lars of  the  plans  with  which  Pelican  astonished  the 
people  of  Happy  Hollow  and  spread  the  fame  of  the 
little  town  far  and  wide  over  the  land,  I  must  relate 
the  fulfilment  of  my  promise  to  Mrs.  Bantam  that  I 
would  persuade  the  Colonel  to  renew  his  vow  of  de- 
votion to  her. 

The  Colonel  at  first  was  inclined  to  be  vexed  and 


THE   BOOM    BEGINS.  113 

angry  when  I  opened  the  matter  to  him,  but  as  he  re- 
flected that  Mrs.  Bantam's  anxiety  not  only  indicated 
passionateness  of  devotion  upon  her  part,  but  conveyed 
plain  intimation  that  she  perceived  the  Colonel  to  be  a 
certain  winner  of  hearts  whenever  he  should  begin 
such  a  game,  his  feelings  softened.  He  affected  to  re- 
gard Mrs.  Bantam's  apprehension  with  good-natured 
levity,  as  a  tribute  from  the  weaker  to  the  stronger  sex, 
and  finally  he  agreed  to  perform  the  ceremony  of  re- 
plighting  his  troth  to  her. 

Julie  and  Ruby  and  Mrs.  Bantam  and  I  were  in  the 
parlor  after  dinner  when  the  Colonel  came  in  to  play 
his  part. 

Putting  his  arm  about  Mrs.  Bantam,  and  kissing  her 
tenderly,  he  said  : 

"  It  was  hardly  worth  while,  dear  friends,  that  I 
should  be  called  upon  to  give  fresh  pledges  of  devotion 
to  my  heart's  idol,  but  to  demonstrate  to  her  and  to 
you  that  the  sacred  flame  burns  still  with  undiminished 
brightness,  I  am  ready  to  make  most  solemn  affirma- 
tion of  the  fact.  You  wish  me,  dearest,  to  say  so  upon 
our  domestic  copy  of  the  sacred  Scriptures ;  I  now 
do  it." 

And  the  Colonel  put  his  left  hand  upon  the  great 
family  Bible,  which  weighed,  I  should  think,  twenty 
pounds,  and  lifted  his  right  hand  at  arm's  length 
toward  the  ceiling.  He  was  about  to  speak,  when 
Mrs.  Bantam,  rising  hastily  and  moving  toward  him, 
said : 

"  Not  in  that  way,  my  love.  Open  the  book  and 
place  your  hand  upon  the  record  of  our  marriage." 

The  Colonel  dropped  his  uplifted  hand,  looking  as 
if  the  interruption,  offered  at  the  very  moment  of  his 

8 


IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


most  dramatic  action,  had  been  irritating.  Then  he 
stooped  to  tiy  to  unlock  the  great  brazen  clasp  which 
held  together  the  heavy  lids  of  the  book.  The  clasp 
presented  difficulties ;  but  the  Colonel  pulled  and 
pulled  and  twisted  and  twisted,  growing  redder  in  the 
face  from  exertion  and  vexation,  until  I  came  forward 
to  help  him.  The  clasp  refusing  to  yield  to  our  united 
efforts,  the  Colonel  at  last  jumped  up  and  sat  on  the 
book  to  force  the  lids  together  while  I  strove  to  undo 
the  clasp.  I  tried  my  best,  for  I  saw  there  would  be 

ing  demon- 
some  kind  if 
nel's  temper 
tinue  to  gain 
could  not 
clasp,  and  I 
Colonel, 
from  the 
angry  exple- 
lips,  Colonel 
to  the  fire- 
the  poker, 
inserted  it 
behind  the 

clasp,  and  with  a  fierce  jerk 
tore  the  entire  clasp  from  the 
cover  and  hurled  it  across  the 
room,  making  a  narrow  escape 

from  breaking  a  window-pane.  Then,  flinging  down 
the  poker,  he  opened  the  book  hurriedly,  found  the 
place,  put  his  hand  upon  it,  said  over  almost  hysterically 
the  vow  in  the  Episcopalian  marriage  service,  slammed 
the  covers  together,  and  limped  out  of  the  room. 


an  unpleas- 
stration  of 
the  Colo- 
should  con- 
heat;  but  I 
move  the 
said  so  to  the 
Leaping 
table  with  an 
tive  upon  his 
Bantam  went 
place,  seized 


The  family  Bible. 


THE    BOOM    BEGINS.  115 

Mrs.  Bantam  at  once  burst  into  tears ;  and  while 
Julie  and  Ruby  strove  to  comfort  her  and  to  help  her 
put  up  her  hair,  the  Colonel's  voice  was  heard  calling 
me  to  come  into  the  hallway.  He  seized  my  arm, 
and  together  we  walked  out  into  the  front  garden,  in 
the  darkness.  He  was  much  excited. 

"  Professor,"  he  said,  "  you  are  not  married.  Stay 
single!  Take  my  advice;  be  warned  in  time!  Re- 
main a  bachelor.  Women  are — "  he  seemed  to  be 
feeling  for  a  word  which  would  give  full  expression  to 
his  anger.  "Women  are — are— sir!  you  said  '  angel,' 
I  said  '  peri ' ;  but  I  conceded  too  much,  far  too  much. 
I  put  it  now  at  demon,  and  you  may  let  it  stay  there 
so  far  as  I  am  concerned." 

But  all  traces  of  anger  had  disappeared  by  the 
morning,  and  the  Colonel  greeted  Mrs.  Bantam  at 
breakfast  with  a  manner  that  indicated  her  complete 
restoration  to  his  favor. 

The  Academy  of  Music  was  crowded  on  Monday 
night,  and  A.  J.  Pelican  had  round  after  round  of 
applause  when,  dressed  in  a  brand-new  suit  of  evening 
clothes,  he  appeared  upon  the  stage  and  unfolded  to 
the  audience  a  part  of  his  plan  for  the  development 
and  general  exaltation  of  Happy  Hollow.  In  response 
to  his  request,  the  chairman  named  a  committee  of 
influential  citizens  which  should  co-operate  with  Peli- 
can and  put  the  Happy  Hollow  Improvement  Company 
upon  its  feet  and  into  immediate  operation. 

When  the  committee  had  been  chosen  and  the  band 
had  played  an  inspiriting  air,  Colonel  Bantam  came 
forward,  in  conformity  with  a  design  he  had  prepared, 
and  in  a  flowery  but  impressive  speech  presented  A.  J. 
Pelican  with  the  freedom  of  Happy  Hollow,  which 


ii6  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

freedom  was  signified  by  a  large  key  (I  think  it  was 
the  Colonel's  own  front-door  key)  tied  with  red,  white, 
and  blue  ribbon.  Mr.  Pelican  responded  in  a  hand- 
some manner  and  put  the  key  in  his  pocket,  where  it 
must  have  made  him  very  uncomfortable,  proud  as  he 
was  of  possessing  the  symbol  of  the  fact  that  the  gates 
of  Happy  Hollow  for  him  had  swung  wide  open.  I 
think  I  saw  him,  as  he  went  out  of  the  stage-door,  pass 
the  key  over  to  'Lias  Guff,  who  stood  at  that  place  all 
through  the  evening,  the  faithful  guardian  of  Happy 
Hollow's  public  peace. 

A.  J.  Pelican  fulfilled  his  promises,  and  he  did  much 
more.  When  the  Happy  Hollow  Improvement  Com- 
pany had  been  organized,  Spiker  was  a  shareholder,  and 
Colonel  Bantam  had  a  fairly  large  block  of  the  stock, 
and  a  few  dozen  shares  came  to  me  almost  for  nothing. 
Nearly  everybody  in  the  town  who  had  influence  or 
money  took  the  stock,  and  the  excitement  and  enthu- 
siasm created  by  A.  J.  Pelican's  plans  were  so  great  that 
all  the  countryside  flocked  into  the  company's  offices  to 
procure  shares.  The  books  were  closed  within  a  week. 
The  company  could  have  sold  four  times  as  many 
shares  as  Pelican  was  willing  to  offer  to  the  public. 

That  was  a  great  time  in  the  history  of  Happy  Hol- 
low. "  It  is  a  resurrection !"  exclaimed  Spiker,  as  he 
observed  the  improvements  making  headway,  and 
Spiker's  strongest  words  in  the  columns  of  the  National 
Defender  expressed  inadequately  the  condition  of  pop- 
ular feeling.  The  Improvement  Company  began  to 
cover  all  the  streets  with  asphalt,  under  profitable  con- 
tract with  the  City  Council,  which  issued  a  new  loan 
for  the  purpose.  It  built  a  horse-car  line  which  ran 
from  Purgatory  Springs  right  through  the  town  to 


THE   BOOM   BEGINS.  117 

Grigsby's  Bluff.  It  dammed  the  brook  a  mile  outside 
of  Happy  Hollow,  forming  a  lovely  lake,  which  was 
named  Lake  Aramink,  and  from  the  dam  it  obtained 
water-power  which  not  only  lighted  all  Happy  Hollow, 
but  supplied  force  to  the  woollen  mill  which  the  Im- 
provement Company  took  and  equipped  with  machin- 
ery. By  the  side  of  the  lake  the  company  began  con- 
struction of  a  summer  hotel,  The  Aramink  House, 
which  was  to  offer  two  great  attractions  in  the  way  of 
lovely  scenery  and  elegant  accommodations  such  as  no 
other  resort  in  the  state  could  hope  to  rival. 

The  great  field  on  the  far  side  of  the  brook  at  the 
lower  end  of  the  town  was  bought  and  thickly  planted 
with  trees  and  shrubs,  and  named  Happy  Hollow 
Public  Garden.  After  awhile  fountains  would  play 
there,  and  swans  would  float,  and  pretty  pleasure  boats 
would  swim,  in  the  brook  at  the  edge  of  the  park. 

The  old  Opera  House,  absurdly  named,  was  torn 
down,  and  upon  the  site  a  new  and  resplendent 
Academy  of  Music,  rich  with  blue  and  gold  and  red 
and  white  interior  decorations,  was  constructed.  Dozens 
of  rickety  frame  buildings  on  the  main  street  were 
demolished  to  make  way  for  the  Pelican  Arcade  and 
Aramink  Row,  two  blocks  of  brick  buildings  six  stories 
high,  with  plate-glass  windows,  and  supplying  places 
of  unsurpassed  attractions  for  retail  businesses.  The 
Happy  Hollow  National  Bank  began  business  in  its 
new  marble  building,  with  A.  J.  Pelican  for  President ; 
and  the  spring  upon  Farmer  Tulliver's  farm  at  the  edge 
of  the  town,  having  been  found  by  Pelican's  own 
chemist  to  contain  health-restoring  and  life-saving  in- 
gredients in  very  surprising  quantities,  the  farm  was 
bought  in  for  cash  by  the  Improvement  Company,  and 


Ii8  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

a  noble  building  was  put  up,  right  by  the  spring,  and 
named  The  Happy  Hollow  Sanitarium. 

Plans  were  drawn  for  a  new  Water  Works,  which 
should  pipe  water  from  the  Wallabout  Hills,  three 
miles  away,  and  Pelican  began  for  himself  a  large  and 
beautiful  house  right  across  the  street  from  the  house 
of  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  in  that  part  of  the  town  which 
was  called  by  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  the  West  End. 
With  the  assistance  of  the  Improvement  Company  he 
began  a  movement  to  have  Happy  Hollow  made  the 
county  town.  It  was  intimated  that,  in  the  event  of 
the  success  of  the  undertaking,  Dr.  Bulfinch's  school 
building  would  be  purchased  for  a  fabulous  price  and 
torn  down,  to  make  way  for  the  finest  court-house  in 
the  state. 

Thus  it  was  unquestionable  that  Pelican  had  made 
Happy  Hollow  hum,  and  that  the  humming  would  be 
in  a  sense,  continuous  appeared  to  be  assured  by  the 
fact  that  to  his  own  energy  Pelican  had  added  that  of 
Elmira  Bantam.  She  was  chosen  the  counsel  for  the 
Happy  Hollow  Improvement  Company,  and  plainly 
manifested  ability  to  direct  all  its  legal  affairs. 

Everybody  was  prosperous,  happy,  and  hopeful ; 
everybody  but  Felix  Acorn,  the  barber.  He  did  not 
count  for  much,  but  from  the  beginning  his  want  of 
faith  in  A.  J.  Pelican  and  the  Happy  Hollow  Improve- 
ment Company  was  complete. 

"  Mind  what  I  tell  you,"  said  he  to  me  one  day,  in 
his  shop,  "  no  water'll  ever  run  through  them  water- 
works pipes,  and  there's  no  medicine  in  old  Tulliver's 
spring,  and  the  sherifT'll  have  the  Opera  House.  I'm 
tired  of  being  imposed  on.  It's  all  wind.  They  tell 
you  there's  a  Goddess  of  Liberty,  but  there  ain't 


THE   BOOM    BEGINS.  119 

none ;  and  Robinson  Crusoe  never  lived  on  no  desert 
island ;  and  Mahomet's  coffin  never  was  suspended ; 
and,  jest  so,  Pelican  ain't  no  real  capitalist.  Stand 
from  under,  I  say,  when  I  see  these  goin's  on  in 
Happy  Hollow." 


through  the  months  of  the  autumn 
and  early  winter  the  streets  of  Happy  Hollow,  once  so 
quiet  and  dull  and  empty,  were  filled  with  the  bustle 
and  lively  movement  of  A.  J.  Pelican's  great  opera- 
tions. The  improved  pavements  with  the  horse-car 
tracks  were  going  down,  and  with  them  the  pipes  for 
the  new  Water  Works,  and  the  buildings  which  were  to 
make  Happy  Hollow  beautiful  were  going  up.  Wagons 
filled  with  stones  and  brick  and  lumber  went  hither 
and  thither  to  supply  the  needs  of  the  swarming  work- 
men, who  dug  and  sawed  and  hammered  and  trowelled  ; 
and  among  the  other  vehicles,  in  and  out  and  around 
•the  town,  dashed  Pelican's  own  handsome  team.  In 
glossiness  of  coat  and  jingle  of  silver-plated  chains,  it 
really  surpassed  the  hitherto  unsurpassed  team  behind 
which  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  drove  on  every  fine  afternoon. 

The  boom  in  Happy  Hollow  seemed  to  gain  in 
vigor  and  intensity.  Everybody  in  the  town  was  busy 
and  cheerful,  and  confident  that  he  would  soon  be  rich. 

Colonel  Bantam  felt  already  rich     and  his  friends 


MRS.    PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      121 


thought  he  showed  it  in  his  manner.  Some  of  the 
stock  of  the  Improvement  Company  had  been  given  to 
him  ;  but  he  had  sub- 
scribed for  several 
thousand  dollars' 
worth  more,  writing 


Pelican's  own  handsome 
team. 


his  name  upon  the  list  in  a  large,  bold,  rounded  hand, 
which  conveyed  the  impression  of  confidence  upon  the 
Colonel's  part  that  he  could  pay  for  it,  and  that  the 
company's  operations  would  be  successful. 

He  always  spoke  of  his  shares  as  "  my  blocks  of 
stock,"  as  if  the  magnitude  of  the  number  held  by  him 
was  so  great  that  the  shares  could  hardly  be  handled 
or  enumerated  without  extended  subdivision  into  heaps. 

In  his  demeanor,  especially  when  he  had  contact 
with  the  plainer  people,  there  was  a  new  touch  of 
something  like  haughtiness.  There  was  an  unfamiliar 
tendency  to  reserve.  He  was  still  affable  with  his 
friends,  and  usually  voluble ;  but  we  all  noticed  that  he 
held  himself  straighter,  and  carried  his  chin  a  little 
higher,  while  he  had  an  air  of  loftiness  and  grandeur  in 


122  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

his  salutation  of  humble  citizens  which  was  in  almost 
painful  contrast  with  his  old  democratic  manner. 

This  change  may  have  been  due  in  part  to  the  cir- 
cumstance that  the  town  of  Happy  Hollow  was  taking 
on  new  dignity,  and  the  Colonel  believed  it  to  be  his 
duty  as  chief  magistrate  to  give  official  representation 
of  the  fact.  The  increased  responsibilities  of  the  office 
seemed  to  press  upon  him.  He  drew  up  a  plan  for  a 
paid  fire  department,  which  he  urged  upon  the  Town 
Council,  and  he  addressed  that  body  eloquently  upon 
the  necessity  that  the  police  force  should  be  increased 
to  two  persons.  He  cherished  hope  that  one  day  he 
might  have  three ;  and  sometimes,  in  moments  of  in- 
tense mental  exhilaration  caused  by  the  upward  ten- 
dency of  the  value  of  the  Improvement  Company's 
stock,  he  predicted  that  the  time  would  come  when 
there  would  be  four  men  on  the  force.  But  he  did  not 
advise  rash  action. 

"  We  are,"  he  said  to  Spiker,  "  but  in  the  early  dawn 
of  a  brighter  day  for  Happy  Hollow.  When  the  full 
glorious  noontide  of  prosperity  has  filled  the  town  with 
its  radiant  splendor,  we  shall  have  a  force  worthy  of 
the  place." 

For  Spiker  a  larger  and  better  day  had  come,  and  I 
was  glad  of  it,  for  at  heart  Spiker  was  really  a  good 
fellow.  He  was  brisker  in  his  manner,  and  there  was 
an  atmosphere  of  cheeriness  and  hopefulness  about  him. 
It  was  enough  to  permit  him  to  seem  less  worried  and 
mournful  that  he  could  now  more  lightly  regard  the 
patronage  of  the  tombstone  man  and  of  the  storekeeper 
who  owed  him  hats. 

The  Improvement  Company  had  in  the  National 
Defender  a  vast  standing  advertisement,  inviting  per- 


MRS.   PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      123 

sons  inhabiting  less  lovely  neighborhoods  to  come  to  a 
town  which  "  to  a  salubrious  climate,  a  picturesque 
situation,  and  extraordinary  educational  advantages, 
added  uplifting  social  influences  and  an  atmosphere  of 
refinement  and  culture."  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  no  doubt 
read  this  advertisement  every  morning,  and  found  com- 
fort in  the  reflection  that  to  her  and  her  church-school 
much  of  the  attractiveness  thus  referred  to  was  attrib- 
utable; but  the  announcement  brought  more  solid 
comfort  to  Mr.  Spiker  in  the  shape  of  weekly  payments 
in  cash. 

Thus  it  was  natural  that  his  views  of  everything,  as 
they  were  expressed  day  by  day  in  the  National  De- 
fender, should  have  a  tone  of  joyousness,  and  that  his 
readers  should  even  discern  a  tendency  to  greater  bold- 
ness in  the  use  of  metaphor.  This  poetic  inclination 
may  have  been  due  in  some  measure  to  the  frequent 
presence  in  the  Defender  office  of  Miss  Mortimer,  who 
now  conducted  the  Woman's  Department  with  surpris- 
ing grace  ;  but  if  Miss  Mortimer's  restraining  influence 
could  have  been  exerted,  I  am  sure  she  would  have 
induced  Mr.  Spiker  to  make  some  modification  of  the 
suggestion  offered  by  him  to  the  Town  Council  that,  in 
overcoming  a  certain  difficulty,  it  should  "  take  the  bull 
by  the  horns  and  cut  the  Gordian  knot."  Miss  Mor- 
timer's taste  and  intelligence  would  have  saved  her 
from  the  employment  of  so  odd  a  figure. 

Of  course  Mr.  Spiker's  enthusiasm  for  the  town  im- 
provements exhausted  at  an  early  day  the  adjectives  at 
his  command.  When  he  had  used  all  the  known 
superlatives  until  straining  had  seriously  weakened 
them,  he  resorted  to  double  leads  for  his  editorials,  and 
if  any  other  method  of  expressing  almost  wild  intensity 


124  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

of  fervor  had  been  within  the  compass  of  metal  type 
and  the  printers'  art,  Mr.  Spiker  would  have  adopted  it. 

He  was  positively  feverish  with  enthusiasm ;  and 
particularly  for  A.  J.  Pelican.  He  had  compared  Peli- 
can during  the  boom  months  with  nearly  all  the  noted 
philanthropists  and  leaders  of  the  race,  and  he  had 
even  gone  so  far  as  to  suggest  that  the  name  of  the 
town  might  well  be  changed  from  Happy  Hollow  to 
Peliconia. 

It  was  really  surprising  to  me,  unfamiliar  with  the 
craft  of  the  journalist,  to  perceive  how  Spiker  could 
say  the  same  old  things  over  and  over,  day  after  day, 
in  new  forms,  and  always  with  a  bright  freshness  of 
manner  as  if  the  thoughts  had  just  occurred  to  him  for 
the  first  time.  He  never  cooled  off;  he  never  per- 
mitted his  enthusiasm  to  fall  below  one  hundred  and 
fifteen  in  the  shade;  he  never  seemed  to  have  the 
smallest  particle  of  doubt  that  what  he  said  was  true, 
and  truth  in  its  most  important,  significant,  and  weighty 
form.  I  know  I  should  have  grown  tired  of  hurrahing 
for  Happy  Hollow  with  double  leads  and  inflamma- 
tory adjectives  twenty-seven  days  in  the  month  for 
months  at  a  time.  But  Spiker  kept  right  at  it  with 
unflagging  vigor,  and  on  the  seventy-fifth  morning  or 
the  one  hundred  and  fifth  morning  he  seemed  as  fresh 
and  as  highly  charged  with  ardor  as  ever,  and  the 
editorial  page  of  the  Defender  fairly  rang  with  the  ex- 
citing language  that  depicted  the  increased  and  in- 
creasing glories  of  Happy  Hollow. 

But  always  there  must  be  the  flavor  of  bitterness  in 
even  the  highest  of  our  joys,  and  Mr.  Spiker,  with 
Happy  Hollow  booming  all  about  him,  and  his  cash 
advertising  steadily  increasing,  still  had  trouble.  To 


MRS.    PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      125 

all  of  us  members  of  Mrs.  Bantam's  family  it  seemed 
odd  that  every  three  or  four  weeks  Julie  Mortimer 
should  quietly  vanish  and  remain  away  for  a  day  or 
two.  She  never  told  anyone  when  she  was  going  or 
where  she  was  going,  but,  preparing  copy  in  advance 
for  the  Woman's  Department,  and  taking  a  satchel  in 
her  hand,  she  would  leave  us  and  return  without  a 
word. 

Mrs.  Bantam's  curiosity  fairly  burned  her  soul,  but 
hinting  questions  to  Julie  brought  no  answer.  Really 
I  felt  somewhat  curious  myself,  and  Spiker  was  not 
only  curious,  but  anxious.  It  was  clear  enough  to  his 
friends  that  he  regarded  Julie  with  warmer  feelings 
than  those  of  mere  admiration,  and  he  showed  plainly 
that  he  feared  these  flittings  of  the  lovely  woman  had 
some  relation  to  her  affections.  He  spoke  to  me  about 
it  in  a  serious  manner  once  or  twice,  and  once  he  tried 
to  learn  if  A.  J.  Pelican  knew  the  secret.  Evidently 
Pelican  did  know  it,  but  Pelican's  manner  of  dealing 
with  anxious  inquirers  gave  evidence  of  the  useless- 
ness  of  endeavoring  to  sound  him.  He  would  tell 
nothing. 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  at  first  inclined  to  look  coldly 
upon  the  effort  to  lift  Happy  Hollow  toward  higher 
things.  She  would  not  participate  in  the  fiscal  opera- 
tions of  the  Improvement  Company,  nor  would  she 
admit  that  any  of  the  great  enterprises  proposed  by 
the  company  were  of  an  admirable  character.  She 
said  plainly  to  her  friends  that  she  thought  Pelican  a 
vulgar  adventurer,  and  that  it  was  really  too  bad  to 
have  such  a  person  with  such  a  shocking  name  in- 
truding himself  upon  Happy  Hollow,  and  actually 
imitating  the  practices  of  members  of  refined  society. 


126  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

But  A.  J.  Pelican  was  not  the  man  to  permit  a 
woman  of  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  standing  and  influence 
to  maintain  an  unfriendly  attitude  toward  him.  All 
the  churches  coveted  Pelican,  but  not  many  Sundays 
passed  before  he  rented  the  most  expensive  pew  in  the 
Episcopal  Church.  It  was  in  the  middle  aisle,  directly 
opposite  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  pew,  and  the  lady's  heart 
at  once  softened.  When  he  had  given  to  the  church 
a  handsome  new  altar-cloth  the  victory  was  won. 

"  It  is  much,"  she  said,  "  that  Mr.  Pelican  should 
perceive  the  influence  of  altar-cloths  upon  sound  re- 
ligious practice,  but  even  more  that  he  should  turn  his 
back  upon  the  denominations  that  are  around  us,  and 
seek  the  blessings  offered  by  the  church." 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  nodded  graciously  to  him  after 
the  sermon  the  first  Sunday  he  sat  in  his  pew,  and  the 
next  day  she  purchased  for  a  thousand  dollars'  worth 
of  the  stock  of  the  Improvement  Company. 

My  seat  in  the  church  was  at  the  rear,  among  the 
humble  people,  but  I  was  almost  certain  Pelican  went 
to  sleep  every  Sunday  as  soon  as  Dr.  Fury's  sermon 
began.  He  always  stood  up  and  sat  down  with  the 
congregation,  but  I  thought  he  fumbled  in  an  unfamiliar 
way  with  the  prayer-book.  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  seemed 
to  notice  this  also,  for  in  response  to  an  eloquent  gest- 
ure from  her,  another  devoted  churchwoman  in  the 
pew  behind  Pelican's  found  the  places  for  him,  and  ex- 
changed books  with  him  several  times  during  the  ser- 
vice on  successive  Sundays. 

I  like  people  who  thoroughly  believe  in  their  own 
things,  and  maybe  this  is  one  of  the  reasons  why  I 
inclined  to  like  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde.  She  was  an  Epis- 
copalian in  every  fibre  of  her  being.  The  human 


MRS.    PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      127 

race,  for  her,  was  divided  into  two  classes :  Episco- 
palians and  other  people.  She  did  not  hate  the  other 
people ;  she  regarded  them  with  pity,  excepting  when 
they  presumed  to  claim  that  they  belonged  to  churches 
and  not  to  mere  "  sects."  She  prayed,  and  perhaps 
hoped,  for  their  final  salvation,  but  I  found  upon  en- 
larged acquaintance  with  her  that  whatever  hope  of 
that  kind  she  had  rested  upon  a  rather  vague  notion 
that  there  are  uncovenated  mercies  which  might  some- 
how be  stretched  far  and  wide  enough  to  let  such  peo- 
ple into  an  odd  corner  of  that  better  world  toward 
which  she  and  all  other  sound  church-people  believed 
themselves  to  be  moving,  with  positive  assurance  of 
getting  there. 

It  might,  perhaps,  be  said  of  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  that 
she  sometimes  carried  her  Episcopalianism  to  extremes. 
Dr.  Fury  had  a  very  disagreeable  dog  that  had  actually 
bitten  several  persons,  and  the  discovery  was  made  one 
day  by  a  vestryman  in  Dr.  Fury's  church  that  every 
one  of  the  victims  was  a  member  of  one  of  the  sects. 
Further  inquiry  and  experiment  disclosed  the  some- 
what remarkable  fact  that  this  unpleasant  animal  was 
not  known  even  to  bark  at  any  member  of  Dr.  Fury's 
congregation.  He  never  bit  an  Episcopalian.  In  speak- 
ing of  this  animosity  of  the  beast  for  dissenters,  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde,  with  a  smile  upon  her  lips,  designated  it 
as  "  quaint "  ;  which,  indeed,  I  suppose  it  was,  although 
I  should  never  have  thought  of  selecting  just  that 
adjective  for  application  to  the  case ;  and  Mrs.  Purvis- 
Hyde,  with  true  earnestness,  added  that  the  dog's 
behavior  was  "  really  an  extraordinary  manifestation 
of  discriminating  intelligence  upon  the  part  of  a  dumb 
animal." 


128  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Early  in  the  autumn  the  members  of  the  Bantam 
household  were  invited  by  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  to  attend 
a  conversazione  at  her  house.  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  had 
a  purpose  to  maintain  a  salon  in  Happy  Hollow  in 
which  people  of  culture  and  talent  might  meet  and 
have  intellectual  pleasure.  Mr.  Spiker,  with  that  ten- 
dency to  ribald  speech  which  I  have  often  found  among 
journalists,  always  alluded  to  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's 
conversazioni  as  "  uplifters " ;  but,  as  this  vulgarity 
had  never  reached  the  ears  of  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde, 
Spiker  remained  upon  her  list,  and  he  went  with  us 
upon  this  occasion.  He  wore  a  suit  that  fitted  him  so 
nicely  as  to  indicate  that  it  had  been  purchased  for 
cash,  and  not  by  barter  for  nonpareil  advertisements 
and  special  notices. 

Mr.  A.  J.  Pelican  was  there,  shining  for  the  first  time 
in  the  higher  society  of  Happy  Hollow ;  literally 
shining,  for  his  evening  suit  was  glossy  to  the  very  tip 
of  each  swallow-tail,  and  the  shirt-bosom  framed  by 
the  coat  was  altogether  the  most  radiant  shirt-bosom 
good  society  had  ever  seen  in  Happy  Hollow.  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde  had  taken  up  A.  J.  Pelican,  and  when  she 
took  a  man  up  socially  his  position  was  fixed. 

Rev.  Dr.  Fury  was  there,  of  course.  The  doctor 
wore  a  rigidly  exact  clerical  costume,  and  had  his  shirt- 
collar  buttoned  behind.  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  would  not 
have  considered  a  clergyman  sound  whose  collar  was 
fastened  or  lapped  over  in  front. 

I  found  Dr.  Fury  a  much  more  pleasant  person  than 
I  had  thought.  He  was  inclined  to  jocularity,  as  so 
many  clergymen  are,  I  suppose  as  a  result  of  reaction 
from  professional  solemnity.  Dr.  Fury,  I  was  surprised 
to  discover,  articulated  perfectly  in  his  social  speech ; 


MRS.    PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      129 

in  fact,  he  talked  plainly  and  well,  with  an  agreeable 
voice,  and  I  wondered — and  I  wonder  now — why  when 
he  had  the  power  to  speak  intelligibly  he  exercised  it 
only  upon  unimportant  topics  in  the  drawing-room, 
and  persisted  upon  being  almost  unintelligible  when  he 
read  the  sacred  Word  and  preached  to  sinners. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  had  been  invited  in  spite  of  the  fact 
that  he  was  a  Presbyterian.  The  favor  to  him  was  a 
concession  made  by  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  to  culture.  Dr. 
Bulfinch,  after  Dr.  Fury,  was  altogether  the  most 
learned  man  in  the  county.  He  came  to  the  "uplifter" 
dressed  precisely  as  he  dressed  for  the  school-room, 
excepting  that  his  elbows  were  not  rubbed  threadbare, 
and  his  black  neck-tie  was  folded  with  nicer  precision. 

Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  were  there,  with  Ruby 
Bonner  and  Julie  Mortimer :  Ruby  in  a  pretty  white 
dress  and  blue  ribbons,  and  Julie  dressed  in  canary 
yellow,  looking  well  with  her  jet  hair  and  the  bright 
color  of  her  cheeks. 

"  Perfectly  lovely,  isn't  she  ?"  asked  Mr.  Spiker  of 
me,  as  we  watched  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  introducing  her 
to  Dr.  Fury. 

"Isn't  Ruby  just  sweet?"  whispered  Mrs.  Bantam, 
as  Professor  Midges  led  her  to  the  piano  to  begin  the 
evening  with  a  song. 

Professor  Midges,  a  little  man  with  thin  sandy  hair 
and  large  steel  spectacles,  was  the  organist  of  Dr. 
Fury's  church,  and  besides  being  positively  trust- 
worthy with  reference  to  the  Thirty-nine  Articles,  he 
was  a  good  musician,  whose  taste  in  accompanying 
the  voice,  not  less  than  his  orthodoxy,  justified  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde  in  bringing  him  into  her  charmed  circle. 

Ruby  sang  a  sweet  little  love-song  or  two,  and  to 
9 


130  IN   HAPPY  HOLLOW. 

one  man  who  stood  there  and  listened,  that  was  the 
rapturous  experience  of  the  evening. 

When,  after  a  time,  Julie  came  to  the  piano,  and  with 
her  deep  contralto  voice  gave  another  song,  all  of  us 
were  moved.  But  Miss  Mortimer  had  more  eloquence 
than  she  could  supply  through  the  medium  of  melody. 
She  stood  by  the  pier-glass  at  the  end  of  the  room  and 
read  one  of  her  own  poems,  entitled  "  Longings";  and 
then,  when  we  wrere  all  filled  with  emotion,  she  began 
to  recite  "  The  Land  o'  the  Leal." 

Before  the  first  verse  was  ended,  Colonel  Bantam 
withdrew  his  handkerchief  from  his  coat-tail  pocket, 
wheeled  half  around  upon  the  seat,  put  one  arm  over 
the  back  of  his  chair,  and  yielded  himself  completely 
to  his  feelings.  Dr.  Fury  wiped  his  gold  spectacles 
twice,  and  when  the  recitation  was  ended  he  went 
across  the  room  and  shook  hands  warmly  with  the 
charming  woman.  I  know  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  was  filled 
with  regret  that  Julie  was  not  an  Episcopalian. 

Then  Julie  read  a  portion  of  one  of  the  "  Idylls  of 
the  King  "  with  perfect  expression,  and  when  she  had 
ended,  the  Colonel  stopped  clapping  his  hands  to  re- 
mark to  me  : 

"That  knight-errant  business,  Professor,  really  has 
had  an  exaggerated  valuation  put  upon  it.  No  brave 
man  would  consent  to  be  nickel-plated  and  riveted-in 
before  engaging  in  combat ;  and,  sir,  when  you  go 
about  trying  to  poke  men  off  of  a  horse  with  a  pole,  it  is 
an  abuse  of  language  to  characterize  the  performance 
with  the  name  of  war.  To  a  genuine  soldier -King 
Arthur  and  his  conflicts  seem  ridiculous.  A  man  can- 
not really  fight,  sir,  with  a  brass  kettle  upon  his  head 
and  his  body  embedded  in  hardware.  If  you  want 


MRS.    PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      131 

poetry,  very  well,  but  don't  honor  such  a  man  with 
the  name  of  warrior." 

General  conversation  followed,  and  Dr.  Fury  hap- 
pening to  refer  to  the  suffering  of  a  missionary,  a  friend 
of  his,  in  one  of  the  Pacific  Islands,  the  subject  of  can- 
nibalism was  touched  upon.  Colonel  Bantam  inquired 
if  anyone  present  knew  of  the  origin  of  this  dreadful 
practice : 

"  The  true  source  of  anthropophagy,"  he  said,  "  is 
the  attractive,  perhaps  I  might  say  succulent,  appear- 
ance of  infants  of  the  colored  races.  You 
have  observed,  no  doubt,  Dr.  Fury,  that 
the  babe  of  the  Ethiopian  is  not  only 
plump  and  smooth  and  unctuous,  but 
that  it  has  precisely  the  color  given 
by  the  oven,  let  us  say 
to  roast-pig.  In  short, 
it  looks  well-done ;  and 
we  may  be  sure,  sir, 
that  this  resemblance 
to  crustiness,  and  the 
consequent  suggestion  The  source  of 
of  the  presence  of  stuffing,  impelled  some  hungry  savage 
in  the  past  to  begin  the  practice  referred  to.  Observe 
that  the  colored  races  alone  follow  it.  Reason :  the 
Caucasian  infant  looks  under-done." 

"  I  always  thought  negro  babies  looked  like  choco- 
late," said  Mrs.  Bantam. 

"Very  well,  Edith,"  responded  the  Colonel,  "and 
chocolate  also  is  appetizing.  The  barbarian,  famished, 
weak  of  will,  and  unrestrained  by  considerations  of 
morality,  was  doubly  tempted,  and  he  fell." 

The  talk  then  tended  to  drift  into  ecclesiastical  and 


132  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

theological  subjects.  Dr.  Fury,  I  remember,  looked 
pained  when  he  overheard  Professor  Midges  say  to 
Ruby  that  he  thought  Santa  Claus  was  the  first  bishop 
of  Cappadocia  and  one  of  the  Black  Letter  Saints. 
But  the  Doctor  soon  became  involved  in  a  controversy 
about  the  book  of  Deuteronomy,  which  not  only,  be- 
fore long,  engrossed  the  attention  of  the  whole  com- 
pany, but  subsequently  spread  over  the  entire  town 
and  caused  much  bitter  feeling  among  the  people. 

The  discussion  had  hardly  got  fairly  under  way 
before  A.  J.  Pelican  interrupted  it  to  ask  if  Deuter- 
onomy was  in  the  Old  Testament  or  in  the  New 
Testament.  I  thought  he  wished  to  put  himself  into 
the  right  position  to  comprehend  the  argument  as  it 
went  along ;  but  this  could  hardly  have  been  his  pur- 
pose, for  five  minutes  later  he  was  fast  asleep  on  the 
end  of  the  sofa  that  was  hidden  by  the  piano.  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde,  who  sat  by  me,  filled  with  admiration  for 
the  skill  and  learning  displayed  by  her  rector,  stopped 
listening  long  enough  to  say  to  me  that  she  really  did 
not  care  so  much  about  the  matter. 

"  If  you  have  the  Apostolic  succession  all  right,"  she 
said,  "  the  rest  will  take  care  of  itself." 

Mrs.  Bantam,  I  thought,  felt  very  little  interest  in  the 
subject.  She  sat  upon  the  other  side  of  me,  and  when 
Dr.  Fury  was  quoting  a  particularly  interesting  pas- 
sage from  the  Fathers,  she  whispered  to  me  to  notice 
the  lace  on  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  dress. 

"  It  didn't  cost  a  cent  less  than  ten  dollars  a  yard," 
she  said. 

Colonel  Bantam  never  could  bear  any  conversation 
which  neglected  him  and  forced  him  to  be  silent,  and 
so,  at  the  very  first  interval  in  the  talk  between  the 


MRS.    PURVIS-HYDE'S   UPLIFTER.      133 

two  doctors,  the  Colonel  said  to  Professor  Midges  that 
he  always  regarded  Moses  as  a  narrow  man. 

"  As  for  his  generalship,  sir,"  added  the  Colonel, "  it  was 
deficient  in  the  elementary  principles  of  military  science." 

When  the  Professor  pressed  the  Colonel  for  particu- 
lars, the  Colonel  answered  : 

"  Sir !  He  should  have  turned  Pharaoh's  left.  If  I 
had  been  there  I  would  have  outflanked  Pharaoh  and 
crossed  the  Red  Sea  on  pontoons  higher  up." 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  returning  for  a  moment  to  her 
favorite  subject,  said  to  me  : 

"  You  know,  Mr.  Sprat,  we  have  conclusive  evidence 
that  the  Church  is  the  direct  successor  of  the  ancient 
Jewish  Church." 

"  May  I  ask  what  is  the  evidence  ?" 

"  Why,  the  prescribed  limit  of  punishment  among 
the  Jews  was  forty  stripes  save  one,  and  we  have  the 
Thirty-nine  Articles,  clearly  proving  historical  con- 
tinuity; don't  you  think  so?" 

I  evaded  an  answer.  The  thought  was  new  to  me 
and  surprising.  I  felt  that  I  should  like  to  consider  it 
before  committing  myself. 

As  the  discussion  of  Deuteronomy  proceeded,  Dr. 
Fury  became  warm  and  Dr.  Bulfmch  became  warmer. 
The  faces  of  the  two  doctors  were  flushed,  and  although 
both  men  maintained  perfect  courteousness,  they  were 
beginning  to  treat  the  subject  with  some  intensity  of 
feeling.  All  other  conversation  was  suspended  while 
the  company  hearkened  to  the  doctors,  excepting  that 
Professor  Midges  asked  a  question  which  plainly 
showed  that  he  had  never  divested  himself  of  the 
notion,  conceived  in  his  youth,  that  the  Pentateuch 
was  one  of  the  five  books  of  Moses. 


134  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  began  to  look  worried  as  the 
argument  acquired  heat,  and  at  last,  with  no  little 
grace,  she  interposed  and  asked  the  two  theologians 
to  suspend  it  while  Ruby  sang  another  pretty  song. 
Then  the  refreshments  were  served,  and  after  a  while 
the  company  parted.  Dr.  Bulfmch  shook  hands  with 
Dr.  Fury  as  they  went  away,  but  both  looked  serious, 
and  I  felt  sure  we  should  hear  more  of  the  differences 
about  Deuteronomy. 

Spiker  walked  home  with  Julie  and  I  took  Ruby  in 
my  company,  quite  willing  to  walk  slowly  with  her 
and  to  praise  her  for  the  singing  she  had  given  us. 
She  was  very  grateful,  and  not  at  all  inclined  to  be 
vain  about  her  performances. 


BONNER  and  I  had  got  to  be 
good  friends,  and  my  most  delightful  occupation  was 
to  guide  her  with  her  studies.  She  had  a  good  mind 
and  learned  rapidly,  excepting  when  she  had  mathe- 
matics. With  languages,  dead  and  living,  she  succeeded 
fairly  well,  and  although  she  did  one  day  translate 
Virginibus  Puerisque  into  "  And  the  boys  of  Virginia," 
she  managed  her  Latin  lessons  with  some  dexterity. 

We  got  along  very  well  together,  and  she  seemed 
really  grateful  that  I  helped  her  to  stow  knowledge  in 
her  poor  little  head ;  but  the  fear  grew  upon  me  that 
she  regarded  me  as  a  much  older  person  than  I  was; 
and  then  I  thought  that  the  pupil  does  not  often  give 
her  warmer  feelings  to  the  schoolmaster.  One  day  she 
said  something  that  showed  to  me  that  she  had  been 
corresponding  with  Tom  Driggs. 

I  had  never  mentioned  him  to  her,  because  his  notion 
about  her  future  and  my  notion  were  violently  antag- 
onistic. When  I  found  that  Tom  Driggs  had  begun 

135 


136  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

the  campaign  without  waiting  for  an  ally  I  was  startled. 
Instantly  I  had  a  mean  curiosity  to  know  how  far  he 
had  gone,  and  to  know  with  what  sentiments  she 
regarded  him.  To  tell  the  truth,  I  could  not  help  feel- 
ing bitterly  jealous,  and  not  only  jealous,  but  much 
afraid  lest  the  absent  lover,  in  the  intervals  of  his  opera- 
tions with  soap,  might  indeed  succeed  in  impressing 
this  fairy  of  a  girl  with  an  exaggerated  idea  of  his  value. 

Perhaps  it  was  not  wise  or  right  for  me  to  venture 
to  remonstrate  with  Ruby  about  her  correspondence 
with  Thomas,  but  I  did  so,  upon  the  ground  that  a 
young  girl  in  her  position  must  needs  be  very  careful 
in  matters  of  such  a  kind. 

But  at  this  she  took  fire,  and,  looking  at  me  with  her 
cheeks  hot,  informed  me  that  she  did  not  need  a  coun- 
sellor in  that  business ;  that  she  was  well  able  to  take 
care  of  herself,  and  that  to  Tom  Driggs,  one  of  her 
oldest  friends,  she  should  write  very,  very  often,  anji 
she  hoped  he  would  answer  every  one  of  her  letters. 

I  was  much  abashed,  and,  indeed,  stricken  at  the 
heart,  by  the  repulse  she  had  given  me ;  and  I  suppose 
my  face  showed  the  dejection  of  my  mind ;  for  a 
moment  later,  falling  into  her  chair  and  burying  her 
face  in  her  hands,  which  rested  upon  her  lesson-book 
on  the  table,  she  began  to  sob  and  say : 

"  Oh,  why  am  I  left  alone  ?  How  terrible  it  is  to  be 
all  alone!" 

Poor  child!  I  had  the  heartache  for  her  at  once. 
And  so  I  tried  to  comfort  her.  I  asked  her  to  forgive 
me  for  speaking  to  her  as  I  had  done.  That  I  meant 
well.  That  I  thought  she  might  need  and  care  to  have 
a  word  of  counsel.  That  I  was  her  friend,  and  would 
do  anything  that  she  might  be  happy.  And  so  then 


THE   FACE   AT   THE   WINDOW.        137 

she  lifted  her  head  and  dried  her  eyes,  and  gave  me 
her  hand  while  she  said  : 

"  And  you  are  my  kind  friend !  You  have  done  so 
much  for  me !  Forget  that  I  spoke  so  unkindly  to 
you,  and  believe  me  I  am  not  ungrateful  for  all  your 
goodness." 

Then,  withdrawing  her  hand,  she  went  away,  and  I 
sat  there  in  that  study-room  a  long,  long  time,  think- 
ing of  her,  and  looking  at  the  book  she  had  left  there, 
and  feeling  hunger  for  her,  and  I  fear  hatred  for  Tom 
Driggs. 

One  of  the  strangest  things  in  life,  surely,  is  what  is 
called  coincidence;  but  I  am  not  clear  it  is  just  by 
chance  that  events  so  often  come,  as  it  were,  in  groups. 
More  than  likely  there  is  some  mysterious  faculty  in 
the  human  mind  which  permits  one  will  to  operate 
upon  another,  so  that  the  unspoken  thought  may  exert 
influence  that  impels  another  person  to  action. 

It  was  very  odd  indeed  that  the  incident  of  which  I 
am  about  to  tell  should  have  presented  itself  upon  the 
very  next  night  after  Ruby  alluded  to  the  fact  that  she 
had  been  deserted  by  her  parents.  Did  that  utterance 
of  hers,  I  wonder,  obtain  its  impulse  from  the  mind  of 
one  whom  she  did  not  see  and  who  was  not  near  to 
her? 

Her  outburst  of  anger,  followed  by  grief,  occurred 
upon  Saturday  night.  On  Sunday  afternoon  we  all 
went  up  to  Dr.  Fury's  Sunday-school,  where  A.  J. 
Pelican,  upon  the  earnest  entreaty  of  the  Doctor  and 
Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  was  to  address  the  children.  A.  J. 
Pelican's  handsome  equipage,  with  a  liveried  driver, 
dashed  up  to  the  front  of  the  church  at  half-past  two, 
and  for  fifteen  or  twenty  minutes  Mr.  Pelican  spoke  in 


I38  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

quite  an  agreeable  manner.  His  argument  was  in- 
tended to  impress  the  infant  mind  with  a  sense  of  the 
utter  worthlessness  of  riches,  and  no  doubt  it  con- 
vinced every  one  of  tender  years.  Spiker  and  Colonel 
Bantam  would  hardly  have  cared  for  it ;  and  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde  probably  accepted  the  theory  only  in  a 
loose  general  way,  without  caring  to  have  it  applied 
personally  and  pressed  home  too  closely.  Little  Sun- 
day-school folks  must  sometimes  be  puzzled  as  they 
find  one  kind  of  doctrine  coming  to  their  ears  while 
another  kind  is  plainly  presented  to  their  eyes. 

That  night,  after  tea,  Mrs.  Bantam  and  Elmira  and 
Julie  and  Ruby  and  I  were  sitting  in  Mrs.  Bantam's 
front  parlor,  reading  and  chatting.  The  four  women 
were  gathered  about  the  table  whereon  the  lighted 
lamp  stood  beside  the  huge  and  somewhat  rusty  family 
Bible.  I  sat  alone  upon  the  sofa  at  the  back  of  the 
room,  and,  happening  to  look  at  the  front  window, 
which  had  the  outside  shutters  open  and  the  curtain 
raised,  I  saw  a  human  face  almost  pressed  against  the 
pane. 

The  sight  startled  me  ;  but  I  said  nothing  and  did 
not  move.  The  face  was  withdrawn,  but  at  once  it 
reappeared,  and  it  seemed  to  me  to  be  the  face  of  a 
woman.  I  waited  until  it  vanished  again,  and  then 
quietly  withdrew  from  the  room. 

Picking  up  a  heavy  cane  in  the  hallway,  I  entered 
the  dining-room,  softly  opened  the  door  to  the  side 
porch  and  went  out. 

It  was  a  black  night ;  there  were  no  stars ;  the  wind 
blew  cold  and  damp,  rustling  the  dead  leaves  upon  the 
grass  and  whistling  through  the  bare  limbs  of  the  trees 
with  a  doleful  sound.  I  am  not  a  coward,  but  the 


THE   FACE   AT   THE   WINDOW.        139 

gloom  and  the  soughing  of  the  wind,  and  the  grim, 
silent  loneliness  of  the  garden  filled  me  with  a  kind 
of  shivering  dread. 

Who  could  the  person  be  that  would  come  prowling 
about  our  house  in  such  a  night  ?  And  a  woman,  too  ! 
For  it  was  a  woman.  As  I  reached  the  corner  of  the 
house  I  saw  her  plainly  by  the  light  of  the  lamp  in  the 
room.  She  could  not  see  into  the  window  without 
holding  the  sill  and  lifting  herself  upon  her  tip-toes ; 
and,  after  looking  for  a  minute  at  a  time,  the  effort  tired 
her,  and  she  would  release  her  hold  and  rest. 

I  turned  the  corner  and  said  to  her  in  a  low  voice, 
for  I  feared  to  alarm  the  people  in  the  parlor : 

"  What  are  you  doing  there"?" 

She  turned  a  frightened  face  to  me  for  an  instant,  and 
then  started  rapidly  toward  the  gate. 

I  followed  her  and  took  hold  of  her  arm.  Then  she 
stopped,  and  speaking  quietly,  for  she  too  was  unwill- 
ing to  be  heard  in  the  house,  she  said : 

"  Oh,  please  let  me  go,  sir !  Please  do  not  hurt  me. 
I  meant  no  harm." 

I  was  not  satisfied.  She  must  have  had  a  purpose 
in  coming  there.  How  could  I  tell  that  she  was  not 
the  companion  of  criminals,  for  whom  she  was  exam- 
ining the  premises. 

"  No,"  I  said.  "  I  will  not  let  you  go  until  you  tell 
me  plainly  what  you  are  doing  here  ?" 

She  began  to  cry  and  to  tremble  violently. 

"  I  must  not  stand  here,"  she  said ;  "  they  will  see 
me.  Do  not  let  anyone  see  me.  Oh,  will  you  not  let 
me  go  ?"  and  she  fairly  pulled  me  over  toward  the  side 
porch,  where  the  beam  of  light  from  the  window  could 
not  reach  her. 


140 


IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


I  said  to  her  that  I  wished  her  no  harm,  but  her  con- 
duct was  suspicious  and  alarming,  and  she  must  either 
explain  it  in  a  satisfactory  manner  or  be  given  into 
custody.  She  hesitated,  and  then  asked  me : 

"  Do  you  live  here,  sir  ?     And  what  is  your  name  ?" 

I  gave  her  my  name  and 
told  her  who  I  was. 

She   sat   down    upon   the 


edge  of  the  porch, 
and  as  I  released  her 
arm  she  cried  bit- 
terly, and  said : 

"  I  am  Ruby  Bonner's  mother." 
That  was  enough ;  she  need  have  said  no  more.  I 
understood  the  matter  perfectly ;  and  I  pitied  the  poor 
creature  as  she  sat  there  in  the  darkness  sobbing.  I 
should  have  been  far  from  sorry  if  she  had  risen  and 
gone  away  without  speaking  again.  She  knew  that  I 


THE   FACE  AT   THE   WINDOW.        141 

had  heard  of  her,  and  that  she  need  not  tell  her  story ; 
but  she  had  hunger  in  her  heart  which  she  would 
satisfy,  and  now  she  was  not  sorry  I  had  come  to  her. 

This  was  once  her  home,  she  said ;  a  happy  home. 
She  came  to  it  as  a  bride  with  a  beloved  husband ;  and 
it  was  she  who  had  made  all  this  garden  and  planted 
some  of  these  trees ;  and  the  time  was  when  she  sat  in 
that  parlor  and  laughed  and  sang,  and  went  from  room 
to  room  and  out  upon  this  very  porch  and  along  the 
garden-walks,  full  of  joy  in  life  and  in  her  love  and  in 
her  little  children. 

But  now  the  door  was  shut  upon  her  for  ever.  The 
heart  of  the  man  she  had  sinned  against  was  hard 
against  her.  One  child  was  in  the  other  world ;  the 
other  must  think  of  her  with  scorn  and  hate.  All  the 
old  happiness  was  dead,  and  life  was  torment ;  the 
memory  of  the  past  was  full  of  the  horror  of  remorse; 
the  future,  of  desolation.  But  sometimes,  when  re- 
morse became  too  fierce  and  bitter,  and  life  seemed 
intolerable,  she  fled  from  the  city  and  came  back  here 
in  the  night  to  look  at  the  places  where  love  used  to 
be;  to  walk  the  old  paths,  to  gaze  at  the  windows 
which  once  shut  in  her  happiness,  as  now  they  shut  it 
out ;  to  try  to  filch  from  the  past  some  atom  of  peace 
that  could  comfort  her  in  her  black  misery ;  and  then 
— and  then — if  she  could  only  chance  to  see  Ruby ! 

"  I  did  see  her,"  she  said,  with  hysterical  exultation. 
"  I  saw  her.  I  saw  her  side-face.  May  I  go  again  to 
the  window  and  have  one  more  look  ?  I  will  .do  no 
harm.  Please  let  me  see  her  once  again  ?" 

How  could  such  a  request  be  denied  ?  And  while 
she  strained  her  fingers  upon  the  window-sill  and  I 
looked  at  her,  I  had  for  the  first  time  in  my  life  a 


142  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

glimpse  of  the  nature  of  that  awful  law  of  retribution. 
The  sin  was  alluring,  and  all  the  peril  and  the  punish- 
ment were  hidden.  But  now !  How  frightful  the  an- 
guish that  racked  the  sinning  soul ! 

She  came  back  to  me.  She  was  glad  to  have  some 
one  to  whom  she  could  talk  of  Ruby. 

"  Is  she  a  good  girl  ?  Does  she  go  to  church  ?  Is 
there  anyone  to  warn  her  of  the  wickedness  that  is  in 
the  world  ?  Are  her  eyes  blue,  like  mine  ?  I  could 
see  her  sweet  hair.  It  is  golden,  as  mine  was — when 
— when — I  was  married.  Does  she  ever  speak  of  her 
mother  ?  Not  to  you,  sir,  of  course,  but  to  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam ?  Oh,  I  wonder,  I  wonder  if  she  hates  me.  She 
must  hate  me.  I  hate  myself.  If  she  is  a  good  girl 
she  ought  to  hate  me,  oughtn't  she  ? 

"  But  I  would  give  my  life  for  her.  I  would  will- 
ingly die  now  if  she  would  come  out  and  put  her  arms 
about  me  and  kiss  me.  That  cannot  be,  can  it  ?  I  am 
too  wicked  for  her  to  touch.  You  do  not  know  how 
vile  I  am  ;  but  once  I  was  good  like  Ruby.  It  is  bit- 
ter to  think  how,  long  ago,  I  sat  upon  this  very  porch 
and — my — husband  was  here  ;  and  Ruby  and  my  other 
dear  little  girl  played  with  us  and  laughed,  and  we 
were  so  happy.  I  have  crept  in  here  in  the  night 
sometimes  and  sat  on  one  of  these  chairs,  and  thought 
of  it  all  until  I  felt  that  I  would  shriek  and  beat  in  the 
door  of  my  home  ;  mine  ;  mine  in  the  old  days  !  And 
now—!" 

She  rose  and  stood  with  her  arms  outstretched,  and 
as  in  the  gloom  her  form  was  dimly  outlined  against 
the  white  stuccoed  wall  of  the  house,  there  was  a 
startling  suggestion  of  crucifixion. 

"  I  wish  God  would  take  my  life !"  she  exclaimed 


THE   FACE  AT  THE   WINDOW.        143 

passionately.  "  I  wish  he  would  strike  me  dead,  here ; 
right  here,  now !" 

There  was  a  wail  of  despair  in  her  voice.  She  made 
as  though  she  would  rend  her  garments ;  she  seemed 
as  if  she  could  hardly  restrain  herself  from  screaming. 

Then  she  went  down  on  the  floor  in  a  heap  and 
grovelled  there. 

"Come  here!"  she  said;  and  she  seized  my  hand 
and  kissed  it  again  and  again.  Then  she  thrust  it 
away  and  said  : 

"  Go  and  put  them  on  Ruby's  cheek,  on  her  head, 
on  her  shoulders — my  kisses  !" 

She  rose  and  came  down  the  steps,  and  turned  to 
go  along  the  gravel-path. 

"  Where  are  you  going  ?"  I  asked. 

"  Where  ?  Back  to  the  city  ;  back  to  the  hell  pre- 
pared for  such  as  I  am,"  and  she  started  toward  the 
gate. 

I  would  have  stopped  her,  I  felt  so  great  pity  for 
her,  but  she  fled  through  the  gate  and  down  the  street, 
and  was  gone. 

I  stood  there  for  a  few  moments,  with  my  hand  that 
she  had  kissed  fast  clenched  as  though  it  held  some- 
thing sacred.  I  hardly  knew  what  to  do.  I  was  so 
much  agitated  (was  it  for  Ruby's  sake  or  for  her 
mother's?)  that  I  actually  hesitated  to  re-enter  the 
house.  But  I  went  in  softly,  and  as  I  came  into  the 
brilliant  light  of  the  parlor,  the  four  women  were 
laughing  heartily  at  some  jest  of  Julie's.  They  seemed 
hardly  to  notice  my  incoming ;  but  I  went  over  and 
laid  my  hand  on  Ruby's  head,  instantly  apologizing 
for  it  as  though  the  thing  had  been  done  by  accident. 

Ruby  turned  and  looked  at  me. 


144  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"What  is  it,  Mr.  Sprat?"  she  asked. 

"  Oh,  nothing  !  I  am  weary ;  that  is  all."  And  so 
then  she  and  her  companions  turned  again  to  their 
own  matters  and  I  sat  upon  the  sofa ;  and  while  I  saw 
the  form  of  the  fair  girl  before  me,  my  mind  was  filled 
with  the  image  of  the  woman,  so  near  to  her,  who  was 
flying  in  the  darkness  to  the  misery  with  which  she 
had  enshrouded  her  life. 


all  the  duties  of  the  day  that  fol- 
lowed my  adventure  in  the  garden 
I  carried  with  me  sad  and  troubled  thoughts  of  that 
poor  creature  I  had  met  there ;  and  sometimes  it 
seemed  to  me  as  if,  even  in  this  world,  true  repent- 
ance should  win  a  larger  measure  of  forgiveness. 

When  school  was  done,  and  Dr.  Bulfinch  went  up 
into  his  study  to  perform  his  daily  task  of  retribution 
to  his  young  offenders,  I  sauntered  homeward,  and 
when  I  reached  the  bridge  athwart  the  brook  I  crossed 
so  often,  I  stopped,  and,  leaning  upon  the  low  parapet, 
gazed  downward  upon  the  rushing  yellow  water.  It 
seemed  like  a  living  thing  urged  by  a  strong,  passionate 
impulse  to  hurry  toward  a  destination.  And  as  I 
looked  at  it  swirling  against  the  stone  piers,  and  eddy- 
ing and  foaming  about  them,  and  then  plunging  onward 
as  if  it  could  not  tarry  even  for  a  moment,  I  said  to 
myself,  "  It  is  eager  to  get  home  again.  In  the  ocean 
from  which  it  came  it  will  find  cleansing  and  peace." 

And  so  the  fancy  came  to  me  and  pressed  strongly 
upon  me  that  in  like  circuit,  perhaps,  the  human  soul 
10  145 


146  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

that  comes  from  God,  and  is  perturbed  by  passions  of 
the  earthly  life  and  soiled  by  its  sinfulness,  will  rush 
back  to  its  source,  and  in  that  bosom  have  purification 
and  perfect  rest.  All  things  come  out  from  him ;  all 
things  return  to  him.  There  is  a  way,  surely,  even 
for  the  stained  soul  of  that  forlorn  and  broken-hearted 
mother  to  reach  clear  to  him  whose  very  nature  is 
love. 

While  I  mused,  half-forgetting  all  else,  some  one 
came  near  with  light  step,  and  before  I  could  turn 
about  Ruby's  sweet  voice  greeted  me.  She,  too,  came 
from  school,  and  she  stopped  beside  me,  laying  her 
books  upon  the  parapet,  and  together  we  looked  at 
the  flowing  stream. 

"  It  seems  so  happy,"  she  said,  "  as  if  it  would  fairly 
dance  with  joy;"  and  I  did  not  tell  her  that  it  con- 
veyed to  me  rather  the  idea  of  passionate  eagerness. 
The  things  we  see  respond  to  our  own  feelings,  and  I 
would  not  sadden  her  if  she  could  perceive  joyfulness 
in  that  swift  rush  of  the  waters. 

We  began  to  walk  homeward  together,  and  after 
some  idle  talk,  she  looked  full  away  from  me  and 
said: 

"  Why  did  you  lay  your  hand  upon  my  head  last 
night  ?" 

I  pretended  that  I  did  not  recall  the  act. 

"  I  know  you  did  not  do  it  by  accident,  although 
you  would  have  had  me  think  so.  You  meant  some- 
thing by  it." 

I  tried  to  put  the  question  by,  but  she  was  persist- 
ent. 

"  You  were  out  of  the  room,  and  I  thought  you 
went  out  of  the  house,  and  when  you  came  in  you 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     147 

looked  so  dreadfully  and  put  your  hand  upon  my 
head.  Was  anyone  there  ?  tell  me  truly,"  and  she 
turned  her  face  and  her  blue  eyes  looked  fairly  at  me. 

I  could  not  tell  her  the  truth ;  I  dare  not  be  false ; 
and  as  I  must  answer,  I  said : 

"  Won't  you  believe  it  was  an  accident  ?" 

"  You  will  not  say  so,  now.     You  know  it  was  not." 

"  It  was  an  act  of  blessing,"  I  said. 

"  From  whom  ?"  she  asked. 

"  From  me,  if  you  will.     I  can  say  no  more." 

She  was  angry  at  me,  and  in  her  eyes  shone  as  much 
fire  as  those  lovely  eyes  could  command.  She  made 
as  though  she  would  walk  faster  than  I  did,  keeping  a 
distance  ahead  of  me.  Thus  we  went  through  the 
little  park  and  came  to  the  street,  when  she  diminished 
her  pace  until  we  were  together,  and  she  smiled  gravely 
at  me  and  said : 

"  I  should  not  have  asked  you  such  a  question.  I 
will  believe  you  wanted  me  to  have  a  blessing." 

"  Blessing  on  blessing,"  I  answered.  "  May  there  be 
nothing  else  in  life  for  you." 

So  we  came  to  our  home. 

As  the  days  of  the  wintertime  went  by  she  seemed 
with  strange  suddenness  to  come  to  full  womanliness. 
I  had  never  thought  of  her  as  a  child ;  but  she  did 
have  girlish  ways  when  first  I  knew  her,  and  at  the 
beginning  her  methods  with  her  studies,  as  I  have  said, 
were  much  more  childish  than  her  years. 

But  all  this  changed  before  the  year  was  out,  and 
long  before  the  new  year  had  rolled  far  around  she  had 
acquired  dignity  of  manner  and  self-confidence  with 
her  studies  which  warned  me  that  her  girlhood  was 
past.  With  this  new  exaltation  of  womanhood  there 


148  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

came  a  reserve  of  manner  which  seemed  to  separate 
me  from  her  more  than  had  been  the  custom,  and  this 
I  grieved  over,  although  I  knew  it  to  be  inevitable  and 
necessary.  But  still  she  was  cordial  and  gracious 
with  me,  and  she  did  not  fail  to  accept  my  help  when 
there  was  difficulty  in  her  lessons. 

I  could  not  doubt  the  nature  of  my  feelings  for  her, 
and  I  found  new  grace  in  her  now  that  both  mind  and 
body  had  attained  to  riper  loveliness.  I  fully  perceived 
the  advantages  of  propinquity.  How  much  that  counts 
for  in  such  matters !  Nearly  every  Sunday  I  walked 
to  church  with  her,  sometimes  accompanied  also  by 
Aunty  Bantam,  whose  presence  upon  these  occasions 
always  vexed  me  ;  and  usually  I  sat  by  Ruby's  side 
while  Dr.  Fury  conducted  the  services  and  preached. 

Often  there  was  but  one  prayer-book  for  both  of  us, 
and  so  she  held  one  corner  of  it  and  I  the  other  while 
we  made  the  responses  or  sang  the  canticles.  The 
worship  at  such  times  had  great  fervency  for  me.  Pro- 
fessor Midges's  choir,  like  many  other  choirs,  in  singing 
the  Te  Deum  always  sang  of  "  anguls  and  archanguls," 
and  of  the  "  sharpnuss  of"  death,  just  as  in  the  hymns 
it  sang  of  "  immortul "  life,  and  "  brightnuss,"  and 
"  Edun,"  and  "  heavun,"  and  of  the  "  evul  "  that  is 
"  with  us  day  by  day."  Ruby  was  not  critical,  and  she 
liked  to  sing  and  I  loved  to  hear  her  sing,  and  so  we 
both  had  joyfulness,  in  spite  of  the  slovenliness  of  the 
choir. 

Many,  many  times  during  Dr.  Fury's  drowsy  ser- 
mons have  I  looked  from  the  corner  of  my  eye  upon 
her  sweet  profile,  her  chin  slightly  uplifted  as  she 
watched  the  preacher,  her  eyes  wide  open,  as  if  she 
were  trying  to  understand  him,  and  with  the  tender 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     149 

bloom  upon  her  cheeks.  She  had  a  straight  little  nose, 
delicately  cut,  and  the  prettiest  I  have  ever  seen ;  so 
her  profile  was  almost  more  beautiful  than  her  full  face. 

Long  ago  she  went  away  from  me  into  the  mystery- 
land,  and  left  me  to  awful  silence  and  blinding  tears ; 
and,  strange  to  say,  the  one  strongest  memory  of  her 
appearance  that  stays  with  me  is  that  of  her  face  as 
she  sat  by  me  in  the  church. 

Later  in  the  winter  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  wished  to  have 
some  private  theatricals  as  a  help  to  the  intellectual 
elevation  of  her  friends,  and  she  persuaded  Julie  and 
Ruby  to  participate  in  them.  Both  did  so  with  reluc- 
tance, for  both  desired  to  have  no  further  relation  of 
any  kind  with  the  actors'  art;  but  they  were  good- 
natured,  and  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  now  so  urgent,  had 
been  kind  to  them  ;  and  so  we  had  a  pretty  little  play 
in  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  parlor. 

Few  but  our  friends  were  there,  and  there  were  good 
acting  and  good  fun. 

The  drama  was  named  "  Home  Rule  " ;  and  Ruby 
was  the  heroine,  a  wife  whose  husband  I  represented, 
while  Julie  was  the  wife's  mother.  It  was  much  to  me 
even  to  pretend  that  I  was  the  husband  of  so  sweet  a 
girl ;  and  willingly  I  bore  with  the  laughter  of  the 
players  at  my  awkwardness  and  at  the  ill-grace  of  my 
action,  so  strongly  emphasized  by  the  skill  of  my  com- 
panions, if  I  might  play  such  a  part  under  such  circum- 
stances. 

The  name  of  the  husband  in  the  play  was  Henry, 
and  it  was  a  delight  to  me  during  the  rehearsals  and  at 
the  performance  to  have  Ruby  take  my  hand,  or  put 
her  hand  upon  my  shoulder,  and  in  tender  tones  ad- 
dress me  by  my  own  first  name. 


ISO  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

I  remember  how  she  looked  upon  the  night  when 
we  played  the  drama  before  the  company.  She  wore 
a  curious  gown  of  silk,  in  which  golden  tints  shim- 
mered and  glanced  among  the  brown ;  there  was  a 
fluff  of  soft  lace  about  the  neck,  and  the  bodice  was 
cut  in  such  a  way  as  to  give  to  the  robe  a  quaint  old- 
fashioned  look.  Her  rich  and  splendid  hair,  dressed 
by  Julie,  was  twisted  up  into  a  knot  and  crowned  by  a 
comb  so  oddly  set  as  to  complete  the  suggestion  of 
the  olden  time  that  her  dress  had  supplied,  and  which 
made  her  beauty  glorious. 

When  she  came  down  the  stairs  looking  like  a  god- 
dess, and  greeted  me  as  I  stood  there  behind  the  curtain 
waiting  nervously  for  the  play  to  begin,  I  felt  some 
sinking  of  the  heart,  "  for  how,"  I  said  to  myself, 
"  shall  such  a  homely,  awkward,  unworthy  creature  as 
I  ever  dare  to  try  to  win  that  perfectly  lovely  woman  ?" 
It  seemed  impossible  then,  and  actually  for  a  moment 
or  two  the  girl  I  had  helped  with  her  lessons  appeared 
to  have  belonged  to  a  time  long  past. 

But  the  goddess  had  no  consciousness  of  her  love- 
liness or  of  the  shivering  awe  that  had  overcrept  her 
old  tutor,  for  she  greeted  me  with  sweet  and  gentle 
kindness,  and  she  said  she  was  glad  to  be  in  the  play 
with  me  because  she  had  never  acted  before  with  a 
man  who  was  her  friend. 

Of  course  the  performance  gave  delight  to  those  who 
were  so  fortunate  as  to  have  been  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's 
guests.  When  Ruby  first  came  on  the  stage  there  was 
an  involuntary  exclamation  from  the  audience,  which 
was  the  highest  tribute  to  her  beauty ;  and  when  the 
play  was  ended  Professor  Midges  came  to  me  and  said 
that  if  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  would  drop  Deuteronomy 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE    HILLS.     151 

out  of  her  salon  for  good  and  all,  and  take  up  Ruby 
Bonner  as  a  regular  thing,  she  would  occupy  a  first 
place  among  philanthropists. 

Well,  the  reason  why  I  have  told  of  the  first  acting 
of  the  play  is  that  the  second  acting  was  followed  by  a 
notable  adventure  which  might  have  brought  sad  con- 
sequences to  our  household.  For  it  was  inevitable  that 
so  sweet  a  play  with  so  sweet  an  actress  should  be 
played  again. 

Among  the  guests  was  Mrs.  L.  Addison  Merwyn, 
wife  of  the  celebrated  city  banker,  whose  country-seat 
was  just  six  miles  across  the  hills  from  Happy  Hollow. 
Mrs.  L.  Addison  Merwyn  was  a  person  who  gave  tone 
to  things  just  as  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  did;  but  I  have  a 
notion  that  there  was  an  intensity  and  vigor  about 
the  tone  imparted  to  anything  by  Mrs.  L.  Addison 
Merwyn  which  were  greater  than  any  quality  that 
could  be  found  in  the  tone  conveyed  by  Mrs.  Purvis- 
Hyde. 

Mrs.  L.  Addison  Merwyn  was  very  rich  and  very 
grand,  and  she  treated  me,  when  I  was  introduced  to 
her,  with  precisely  that  degree  of  courtesy  which  I 
should  imagine  she  would  have  thought  due  to  a  poor 
young  schoolmaster.  She  was  gracious,  even  kind ; 
but  she  gave  the  impression  at  once  that  there  was 
distance  between  us.  Actually  I  felt  that  there  was 
vast  distance. 

But  I  could  not  refuse  when,  after  the  play  was  over, 
she  urged  us  to  repeat  it  a  fortnight  later  at  Meadow- 
brook,  the  noble  home  to  which  L.  Addison  Merwyn 
returned  day  by  day  when  he  laid  aside  his  gigantic 
financial  operations  and  sought  repose.  Mrs.  Purvis- 
Hyde  was  eager  to  have  us  go,  and  Julie  and  Ruby 


152 


IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 


were  willing  to  go,  and  it  would  have  been  graceless 
for  such  an  one  as  I  to  withhold  consent. 

And  so  it  was  arranged  that  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde 
should  carry  Mrs.  Bantam  with  her  upon  the  appointed 
evening,  and  that  Julie  should  go  with  them,  while 
Ruby  and  I  should  drive  over  in  the  buggy  offered  for 
the  purpose  by  the  kind-hearted  A.  J.  Pelican. 

The   carriage   of  Mrs.   Purvis-Hyde  took   the   road 

right  up  the 
narrow  valley 
or  gorge  that 
leads  away 
from  Happy 
Hollow  to  the 
outer  world ; 
but  there  was 
a  way  I  liked 
better,  for  it 
was  longer 
and  lonelier, 
and  there  was 
a  lovely  view 
should  see  in  the  twilight 
hour  of  the  day. 

This  road  ran  slanting  up  the 
side  of  the  highest  of  the  hills 
On  the  hillside  road.         that  encircled  the  village,  and 
it  lay  beneath  the  great  trees, 

leafless,  but  with  thick-clustered  branches  overhead,  so 
that  even  in  the  light  of  the  ending  day  there  was 
gloominess  not  present  in  the  open  country. 

The  air  was  cold,  but  there  were  warm  wraps  in  the 
buggy,  and  so  we  started  up  the  hillside,  soon  reach- 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     153 

ing  an  elevation  from  which  we  could  look  down  upon 
the  houses  and  some  of  the  movements  of  the  life  of 
the  village,  and  upon  the  lights  which  had  begun  to 
gleam  from  the  windows  of  the  buildings. 

For  myself,  I  should  have  been  content  if  the  twi- 
light could  have  lingered  for  hours,  and  if  we  should 
not  have  reached  the  home  of  Mrs.  L.  Addison  Mer- 
vvyn  until  it  ended.  I  was  happy,  and  I  think  Ruby 
was  happy,  for  she  talked  with  freedom  and  her  spirits 
seemed  high. 

Early  in  the  journey  I  thought  to  be  artful,  and  to 
try  her  by  praising  Tom  Driggs. 

"  But  you  were  ahead  of  him  in  college,"  she  said. 

Then  I  contended  (a  mere  pretence,  I  fear;  so  that 
she  might  say  even  sweeter  words  of  praise)  that  the 
men  of  quickest  minds  are  not  always  the  ablest,  and 
so  I  took  poor  old  Tom's  part,  with  malice  in  my 
heart  for  him ;  and  she  ended  it  all  in  a  woman's  way 
by  saying : 

"  He  isn't  handsome.  I  will  write  to  him  no  more. 
How  good  you  must  be,"  and  she  looked  at  me,  "  to 
praise  Tom  Driggs  to  me !" 

That  seemed  a  significant  thing  for  her  to  say,  though 
the  full  force  of  it  did  not  come  to  me  until  afterward, 
for  my  mind  was  in  a  kind  of  glow  which  made  clear 
perception  difficult. 

"  If  to  be  handsome,"  I  said,  "  is  to  find  favor,  how 
little  shall  I  find  ?" 

"  But  to  be  wise  is  better,"  she  said,  and  then  she 
laughed  a  little  bit,  as  if  she  saw  that  she  had  not  been 
wholly  complimentary. 

"  Yes,  to  be  wise  !     But  who  is  wise  ?"  said  I. 

"  You   are,"   she  said  impetuously,  and  making  as 


154  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

though  she  were  half  in  fun.  "  Your  knowledge  is  so 
great  that  sometimes  it  frightens  me." 

"  I  feel  stupid  and  foolish,"  I  answered,  "  when 
you  talk  in  that  way.  Let  me  tell  what  I  think  of 
myself.  I  had  a  strange  dream  a  few  nights  ago.  It 
seemed  to  me  that  I  took  off  my  head  and  placed  it 
upon  a  table.  There  was  a  small  round  bald  place  in 
the  top,  with  a  hole  in  it.  I  thought  that  I  put  my  eye 
to  the  hole  and  looked  in.  The  inside  of  the  head  con- 
tained only  dust  and  cobwebs  and  a  few  stray  feathers." 

She  laughed  prettily  and  answered  : 

"  But  I  can  look  into  it  without  going  to  sleep,  and 
I  see  there  wisdom  and — and  goodness." 

This  praise  should  have  pleased  me,  but  in  truth  it 
made  me  feel  half  ashamed  of  the  ignorance  that  I 
knew  should  be  attributed  to  me,  and  of  my  deceitful- 
ness  in  leading  her  to  speak  as  she  had  done  of  Tom 
Driggs.  More  than  all,  the  thought  came  to  me,  and 
brought  a  kind  of  torment,  that  if  her  feelings  for  me 
had  been  such  as  I  wished  them  to  be,  she  would  not 
have  praised  me  to  my  face ;  and  then  it  seemed  to  me 
again  that  she  must  regard  me  only  as  a  father  or  an 
elder  brother.  I  resolved  mentally  to  consider  further, 
when  I  should  be  alone,  the  precise  bearing  and  mean- 
ing of  her  talk  upon  our  relations  with  one  another. 

Then  I  led  her  to  speak  of  her  life  among  the 
strolling  players,  of  which,  indeed,  she  had  said  little 
to  me  or  to  anyone  in  our  house. 

I  remembered  afterward  that  as  she  began  to  tell 
of  her  wanderings  we  came  to  a  place  just  beyond 
Isaac  Williams's  house,  where  the  road  upon  a  level 
stretch  was  intersected  by  the  brook  through  which 
we  must  drive,  the  bottom  of  the  stream  being  rough 


AN  ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     155 

with  stones.  It  is  the  same  brook  that,  far  below  this 
level,  rushes  through  the  town  ;  and  as  our  horse  waded 
into  it,  the  water,  still  tawny  from  the  washings  of  a 
recent  storm,  ran  swiftly,  but  shallow,  so  that  we  gave 
no  thought  to  it  while  we  passed. 

I  did  not  learn  from  Ruby  just  how  she  began  to 
act  upon  the  stage.  I  guess  her  mother  had  to  do 
with  it,  and  this  was  why  Ruby  was  silent  upon  that 
part  of  the  matter.  But  she  did  tell  me  that  A.  J. 
Pelican  and  her  father  had  been  at  school  together  in 
the  same  town,  and  because  of  this  she  had  come  under 
his  direction,  and  he  had  cared  for  her. 

"  That  horrid  life  !"  she  said.  "  That  horrid  play ! 
It  was  never  less  than  dreadful  for  me  to  stand  upon 
the  stage  and  to  be  stared  at  by  the  people  in  the  audi- 
ence. How  I  hated  it,  Mr.  Sprat !  But  the  applause 
was  sweet  to  me  sometimes.  I  could  not  help  liking 
that,  could  I  ?  Don't  you  think  every  one  likes  to  be 
praised  ?" 

"  Absolutely  every  one  likes  praise.  To  be  thought 
well  of  is  almost  the  very  strongest  craving  of  human 
nature." 

"  Yes,  and  while  I  did  not  care  for  the  thing  I  had  to 
do,  it  was  something,  wasn't  it,  if  when  I  must  do  it,  I 
found  I  could  do  it  well  ?  The  people  about  me  were 
vulgar,  but  they  were  always  kind  to  me ;  and  that 
was  much,  for  it  was  a  rough  life,  Mr.  Sprat,  going 
about  from  town  to  town,  sometimes  in  crazy  vehicles, 
and  always  staying  at  forlorn  hotels.  I  shrank  from 
the  people  who  would  look  at  me,  often  rudely,  on  the 
stage  and  off  of  the  stage.  It  would  all  have  been  in- 
supportable but  for  Julie.  How  I  love  her !  I  owe  so 
much  to  her.  I  love  her  dearly." 


156  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  She  deserves  such  love,"  I  said. 

"  Do  you  notice,  Mr.  Sprat — or  ought  I  to  say  it  to 
you  ? — that  Mr.  Spiker  admires  Julie  very,  very  much  ? 
Have  you  noticed  that  ?" 

"I  do  hope,"  she  continued,  "that  he  will  just  ad- 
mire her,  and  stop  there;  but  I  don't  see  how  any- 
one can  help  worshiping  her,  she  is  so  lovely  and 
good." 

"  Mr.  Spiker  is  a  very  worthy  man ;  worthy  of  a 
good  woman,"  I  ventured  to  say  in  behalf  of  my  friend 
the  editor. 

"  But  Julie  won't  have  him,"  said  Ruby,  very  posi- 
tively. 

"  Do  you  think  that  ?" 

"  She  will  never  marry  ;  never !  Marriage  is  so  ter- 
rible. She  is  too  good  for  any  man.  She  and  I  will 
stay  single  all  our  lives,  all !  And  after  a  while  dear 
father  will  come  back  and  live  with  us,  and  love  me, 
and  we  will  be  happy." 

"  But  there  are  many  happy  marriages,"  I  said. 

"  There  will  be  none  for  me.  I  have  made  up  my 
mind,"  and  she  spoke  with  an  air  of  strong  determina- 
tion. "But  you  will  marry,"  she  continued.  "Men 
can  always  look  and  pick  and  choose,  while  the  women 
must  remain  silent.  It  could  be  no  other  way,  but  do 
you  think  it  is  quite  fair  ?" 

"  I  will  be  single,  too,"  I  said,  "  unless  I  could  get  a 
woman  I  should  much  love." 

"  You  will  find  her,"  she  answered ;  "  and  some  day 
you  will  be  professor  in  a  college,  and  you  will  write 
a  book.  How  glad  I  shall  be  to  read  it,  and  how 
proud  I  shall  be  to  say  that  I  know  the  author,  and 
that  he  is  my  friend  !" 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     157 

"  By  that  time,"  I  said,  "  you  will  be  married  to  a 
rich  man." 

"  I  hate  rich  people.  Never,  never,  could  I  marry 
anyone  I  did  not  dearly  love.  Far  rather  would  I  have 
a  poor  man  who  should  love  me  so,  and  then  I  should 
be  willing  to  die  for  him.  But  if  dear  father  does  not 
come,  I  must  earn  my  living,  Mr.  Sprat,  and  what  am 
I  to  do  ?  I  might  sing,  but  there  is  small  recompense 
for  that.  I  am  too  stupid,  as  you  know,  to  be  a  gov- 
erness, or  to  teach  school ;  perhaps  Julie  and  I  can 
join  together  and  manage  some  little  business  ;  she  is 
so  bright  and  quick.  I  will  do  anything  but  go  back 
to  the  stage  again." 

Then  she  fell  silent  for  a  time,  and  suddenly  she 
said,  with  a  tearful  voice  : 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Sprat,  it  is  too  hard  to  be  dependent  and 
helpless  as  I  am !  I  wish,  I  wish  you  could  tell  me 
what  to  do." 

I  thought  I  could  tell  her  a  way  out  of  her  difficulty, 
in  which  I  should  prove  her  helper,  but  just  then  we 
came  to  Meadowbrook,  and  dismounting,  entered  the 
brilliantly  lighted  and  splendidly  decorated  hall  of  L. 
Addison  Merwyn,  Esq. 

It  is  useless  to  tell  of  the  play  and  the  noble  com- 
pany that  witnessed  it ;  of  the  applause  and  admira- 
tion for  Ruby,  and  of  the  eagerness  of  certain  of  the 
young  gentlemen  to  be  introduced  to  her. 

When  it  was  all  over  and  we  wrapped  ourselves  for 
our  homeward  journey,  Mrs.  L.  Addison  Merwyn  gave 
me  a  limp  hand,  and  said  with  a  smile  which  was  ex- 
actly of  the  kind  that  was  fitting  for  a  poor  young 
schoolmaster  : 

"It  was  delightful,  Mr. — ah — Sprat;    so  delightful, 


158  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

and  we  are  all  so  much  obliged,  and  I  do  hope  we 
shall  see  you  again." 

And  L.  Addison  Merwyn  himself  just  smiled  and 
smiled  and  bowed  and  said  nothing  as  we  took  our 
leave. 

The  night  seemed  very  dark  as,  with  Ruby  beside 
me  in  the  buggy,  we  followed  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  car- 
riage along  the  curving  sweep  of  the  driveway  in  front 
of  Mr.  Merwyn's  house,  and  then,  through  the  wide 
gateway,  came  out  upon  the  road. 

The  temptation  was  strong  upon  me  to  go  home- 
ward by  the  way  we  came,  for  the  hour  was  not  late, 
and  as  I  could  without  difficulty  perceive  the  white 
surface  of  the  road,  I  felt  sure  I  should  have  no  trouble. 

Ruby  was  not  unwilling,  and  so,  when  we  came  to 
where  the  light  shone  in  front  of  the  Barley  Sheaf  Inn, 
we  turned  to  the  right,  and  permitted  Mrs.  Purvis- 
Hyde  and  our  friends  to  go  on  without  us. 

Strangely,  I  had  not  thought  of  the  thick-set  trees 
that  overhung  the  way  further  down,  all  along  the 
windings  of  the  hill  which  we  must  traverse  for  several 
miles  of  our  journey.  Thus  presently  I  found,  as  we 
came  within  the  woods,  that  I  could  no  longer  see  the 
roadway.  I  had  then  an  impulse  to  turn  back  ;  but 
this  seemed  not  brave,  and  while  I  considered  it,  and 
Ruby  and  I  talked  together,  we  came  to  a  part  of 
the  road  where  I  felt  sure  there  was  an  unguarded 
steep  descent  upon  one  side.  Then  I  felt  really  afraid 
to  try  to  turn  the  horse  lest  we  should  be  dashed  over 
the  precipice. 

I  drove  very  slowly,  and  leaned  far  forward,  trying 
to  peer  into  the  darkness,  stopping  for  a  moment  now 
and  then  that  I  might  be  sure.  My  anxiety  was  so 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE    HILLS.     159 

manifest,  I  suppose,  that  Ruby  all  at  once  became  con- 
scious of  our  peril,  and  she  ceased  talking. 

I  knew  that  safety  lay  in  driving  as  closely  as  could 
be  to  the  hillside  that  towered  above  us  to  the  left ; 
but  this  was  not  visible,  and  at  last  I  proposed  to  Ruby 
that  I  should  descend  from  the  carriage  and  lead  the 
horse.  This  seemed  to  terrify  her,  for  she  clung  to 
my  arm  and  begged  me  not  to  leave  her.  I  tried  to 
calm  her  fear,  but  at  last  I  told  her  that  I  could  not 
any  longer  risk  her  safety  by  remaining  in  the  buggy. 
Thereupon  she  insisted  that  she  too  would  get  out  and 
walk  with  me. 

I  could  not  refuse  this,  for  she  would  suffer  no  hurt ; 
and  stopping  the  horse,  I  descended  to  the  road,  and 
then  helped  her  to  alight. 

While  we  were  standing  there,  the  sound  of  thunder 
was  heard,  and  I  knew  we  should  be  fortunate  to  reach 
home  before  the  storm  should  break. 

She  held  my  arm  very  tightly  as  we  walked  far  upon 
the  inner  side  of  the  road,  I  leading  the  horse  by  his 
bridle.  I  spoke  only  to  cheer  and  to  encourage  her, 
and  we  seemed  to  be  going  bravely  upon  our  journey, 
when  suddenly  the  storm  broke. 

Then  I  put  her  again  in  the  carriage,  and  covering 
her  from  the  rain  as  well  as  I  could,  I  threw  the  horse's 
blanket  over  my  shoulders,  and  went  on  through  the 
pouring  rain,  leading  the  horse  along  the  way,  which 
soon  was  carrying  a  swift  stream  of  water  in  the  gutter 
by  its  side. 

Thus  we  went  on  in  silence  for  half  an  hour,  I  think, 
the  storm  raging  about  us,  the  rain  descending  in  a 
deluge,  the  wind  roaring  through  the  trees  when  the 
noise  was  not  smothered  by  the  thunder-crashes.  The 


i6o  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

lightning-flashes  sometimes,  through  the  interlocking 
branches  of  the  trees  above  us,  showed  dimly  the  path 
on  which  we  went,  and  I  could  see,  if  I  had  not  felt, 
that  I  walked  amid  mud  and  water. 

After  awhile  we  came  out  upon  a  level  open  place 
where  the  road  could  be  discerned,  and  then  for  the 
first  time  I  remembered  that  we  must  ford  again  the 
creek  that  we  had  crossed  earlier  in  the  evening. 

As  I  got  into  the  carriage  I  thought  that  the  stream 
must  be  somewhat  swollen  by  the  rain ;  but  I  had  had 
small  experience  with  mountain  torrents,  and  had  I 
considered  the  matter  I  should  not  have  believed  that 
in  so  short  a  time  the  fording  could  have  become  dan- 
gerous. 

I  spoke  to  Ruby,  as  I  knew  we  must  have  come  near 
to  the  brook,  and  she  answered  with  courageous  words, 
but  as  again  she  held  to  my  arm  I  felt  that  she  was 
trembling. 

Even  then  I  had  an  impulse  to  turn  back,  and  I 
would  have  done  so  had  I  known  there  was  danger  in 

o 

the  stream ;  but  to  return  along  that  perilous  hillside 
seemed  then  so  dreadful  that  I  thought  we  should  be 
safe  in  going  on. 

The  horse  stopped,  and  I  knew  we  had  come  to  the 
verge  of  the  stream,  for  we  could  hear  the  rush  of 
water  above  the  noise  made  by  the  falling  rain.  But  I 
took  the  whip  in  my  hand  and  strongly  urged  him  on, 
and  with  a  kind  of  a  plunge  he  dashed  into  the  current. 

Before  I  could  frame  a  thought  the  wild  rushing 
torrent  swirled  the  carriage  around  and  overturned  it, 
and  I  found  myself  with  Ruby  clinging  to  me  in  the 
stream. 

I  did  have  an  instinct  to  hold  to  her,  and  with  the 


WRECKED! 


AN   ADVENTURE   IN   THE    HILLS.     161 

swiftness  of  light,  in  inconceivable  tumult,  we  were 
swept  along  and  violently  flung  against  a  tree  that  had 
fallen  half  across  the  stream.  This  I  seized  and  con- 
trived to  hold,  finding  footing  upon  the  stones  at  the 
bottom  of  the  creek,  and  by  mighty  effort  I  placed 
Ruby  upon  the  trunk  of  the  prostrate  tree. 

I  tried  to  speak  to  her,  but  she  did  not  answer,  and 
so  I  knew  that  fright  or  collision  with  the  tree  had 
deprived  her  of  sensibility. 

It  was  a  desperate  situation,  and  standing  there  in 
the  water,  which  I  knew  was  rising,  holding  her  above 
it  by  exertion  which  called  for  all  my  strength,  I  was 
bewildered  and  fearful.  What  to  do  I  could  not  imag- 
ine. I  was  afraid  to  move  to  right  or  left  lest  I  should 
lose  my  foothold. 

But  when  the  lightning  flashed  again  I  perceived 
that  we  were  indeed  but  a  few  feet  from  the  shore, 
and  so,  then,  taking  her  in  my  arms,  I  dashed  in  the 
direction  I  knew  to  be  right  and  got  safely  upon  dry 
ground  with  my  burden,  on  the  side  of  the  creek 
toward  home. 

I  found  afterward  that  the  horse  was  drowned  and 
the  buggy  literally  torn  to  pieces.  Ruby  and  I  had  a 
marvellous  deliverance  from  a  dreadful  death. 

To  lay  her  upon  the  drenched  ground  was  neces- 
sary, so  that  I  could  gather  her  up  into  my  arms  in 
such  a  manner  that  I  could  carry  her.  But  whither 
should  I  carry  her  ?  What  should  I  do  ?  Both  of  us 
had  all  our  clothing  wet.  I  had  not  strength  enough 
even  under  better  conditions  to  carry  her  to  her  home, 
and  my  mind  was  half  distracted,  so  that  I  could  not 
employ  my  judgment  clearly. 

Perhaps  she  was  dead ;  and  I  trembled  as  I  took 
11 


162  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

her  hand  and  found  that  the  pulse  was  beating.  Then 
suddenly  I  remembered  that  in  the  early  evening  we 
passed  the  house  of  Isaac  Williams,  the  laborer,  just 
before  we  came  to  the  ford,  and  so  with  a  flush  of  joy 
in  my  heart  I  lifted  Ruby  and  walked  with  her  down 
the  road. 

I  was  almost  exhausted  when  I  saw  a  light  in  a 
window  just  off  of  the  road  a  little  way  ahead  of  me. 
But  I  summoned  my  spirit  to  further  effort,  and  at  last, 
pushing  through  the  whitewashed  gate  up  to  the  steps, 
I  kicked  open  the  door,  and,  putting  Ruby  upon  the 
floor,  fell  over  beside  her. 

Our  entrance  in  such  a  fashion  could  not  but  startle 
the  solitary  inmate  of  the  room,  Mrs.  Williams.  She 
was  badly  frightened ;  but  I  knew  her,  and  in  a  mo- 
ment she  knelt  by  Ruby's  side  with  me,  while  I  told 
her  what  had  happened.  Together  we  lifted  the  in- 
sensible girl  and  carried  her  to  another  room,  where 
we  tried  to  revive  her.  She  was  bruised  about  her 
arms,  but  not  badly  hurt,  and  while  we  dealt  with  her, 
consciousness  began  to  return.  Before  she  was  fully 
restored  she  murmured  "  Mamma "  once,  and  that 
seemed  very,  very  sad  to  me ;  and  then  she  exclaimed 
"Oh,  save  me,  Henry !"  and  at  last  she  opened  her  eyes. 

Mrs.  Williams  promised  that  she  would  give  dry 
clothing  of  her  own  to  Ruby  and  then  put  her  to  bed, 
whilst  I  trudged  on  to  Happy  Hollow  for  help  to 
bring  her  home. 

With  this  intent  I  went  to  the  outer  room,  and  as  I 
opened  and  closed  the  door,  I  saw,  sitting  by  the  fire- 
place in  which  a  great  fire  of  wood  burned  and  roared, 
the  figure  of  a  man.  He  sat  with  his  back  to  me, 
and  I  thought  it  was  Dr.  Bulfinch.  I  had  upon  my 


AN  ADVENTURE   IN  THE   HILLS.     163 

lips  an  exclamation  of  astonishment  half  uttered,  when 
the  man  turned  his  head,  the  palms  of  his  hands  still 
held  to  the  fire,  and  I  saw  that  he  was  Simon  Bulfinch. 

I  think  I  would  rather  have  met  almost  any  other 
man  in  the  world  at  that  place  at  that  time. 

•Evidently  he  too  had  sought  the  house  as  a  refuge 
from  the  storm.  But  upon  what  errand  was  this  man 
out  upon  the  mountain-road  so  late  at  night  ? 

He  knew  me,  and  that  evil  smile  came  upon  his  face 
with  the  look  of  recognition.  He  did  not  rise,  but 
turning  again  to  the  fire,  he  said  quietly : 

"  How  is  she,  Sprat  ?" 

I  knew  then  either  that  he  must  have  seen  me  enter 
the  house  or  that  he  had  been  listening  at  the  door 
between  the  rooms.  I  thought  it  better,  at  first,  not 
to  answer  him.  But  then,  still  without  facing  me,  he 
demanded  in  an  angry  tone : 

"  Tell  me  at  once,  is  she  hurt?" 

"  Of  whom  are  you  speaking  ?"  I  said,  concluding 
that  I  could  not  remain  silent. 

He  arose  and  wheeled  about  and  looking  savagely  at 
me,  kicked  his  chair  aside,  saying : 

"  Boy,  don't  attempt  any  insolence  with  me  !" 

Then  he  strode  forward,  and  actually  made  a  move- 
ment to  push  me  aside. 

"  Where  are  you  going  ?"  I  asked,  stepping  before 
him  and  barring  the  way.  It  was  manifest  that  he 
intended  to  enter  the  room  where  Ruby  was. 

He  looked  at  me  with  mingled  scorn  and  anger,  his 
wicked  eyes  flashing,  while  his  lips  curled  into  a  bitter 
smile,  as  he  said  : 

"  I  must  give  an  account  to  you,  must  I  ?" 

"  You  must,"  I  said,  firmly. 


1 64  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

No  doubt  I  presented  a  forlorn  spectacle,  standing 
there  hatless,  my  hair  dishevelled,  my  mud-bespattered 
clothing  wet  and  torn  and  disordered. 

For  a  moment  he  hesitated.  Then  dashing  at  me, 
and  striking  me  roughly  with  his  open  hand,  he  ex- 
claimed : 

"  Get  out  of  the  way,  you  young  fool !" 

He  had  his  hand  upon  the  door  before  I  could 
recover  myself,  but  I  would  rather  have  given  my  life 
than  that  he  should  have  entered  that  room,  or  that 
Ruby  should  have  seen  him,  in  or  out  of  the  room. 

I  threw  myself  upon  him  and  he  grappled  with  me. 
He  was  a  powerful  man,  but  I  was  younger,  and  I  had 
not  lost  the  skill  as  a  wrestler  that  I  had  at  school. 
He  held  me  fast,  and  was  no  mean  antagonist  even  for 
an  expert  at  wrestling,  and  tired  and  forlorn  as  I  was  I 
realized  that  I  had  not  an  easy  task  upon  me.  But 
the  horror  of  the  thought  that  he  should  encounter 
that  innocent  girl  to  whom  already  he  had  wrought  so 
much  harm,  gave  me  power,  and  soon  I  flung  him  on 
the  floor  and  held  him  there. 

He  cursed  me  bitterly,  and  struck  me  with  his 
clenched  hands  and  strove  to  kick  me ;  but  I  was  his 
master,  and  when  his  struggles  lost  their  violence  I 
pushed  him  to  the  front  door,  and,  opening  it,  I  thrust 
him  out  as  if  he  had  been  a  venomous  beast,  and  then 
closed  the  door  and  locked  it. 

I  looked  for  him  to  return  and  try  to  enter  that  he 
might  assail  me  again  ;  but  I  saw  him  no  more.  In  his 
heart  he  was  a  coward. 

Then  in  a  moment  or  two  Mrs.  Williams  came  out 
from  the  inner  room,  and  I  saw  upon  her  face  the 
token  that  she  knew  what  had  happened.  Had  Simon 


AN  ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     165 

Bulfinch  had  a  habit  of  coming  to  her  house  ?  But 
she  spoke  not  of  him  nor  of  the  contest  that  she  may 
have  seen  through  the  partly  open  door ;  for  almost 
before  she  got  into  the  room  Ruby  appeared  also, 
dressed  in  strange  garments,  and  with  her  face  as 
white  as  paper. 

What  should  we  do  now  ?  I  could  not  go  to  town 
for  help  and  leave  her  in  that  house.  Williams  was 
away  from  home,  and  there  was  no  one  to  send  upon 
the  errand.  If  we  should  remain  there  all  night  I 
should  require  other  clothing  also,  and  Ruby's  friends 
would  be  much  alarmed  for  her.  While  I  considered 
these  things  and  thought  what  was  best  to  do,  Ruby 
came  to  me  and  said  : 

"  Oh,  take  me  home !  I  must  go  home.  Do  not 
let  me  stay  here." 

Then  she  put  her  hand  upon  my  arm,  and  for  the 
first  time,  it  seemed,  realizing  my  condition,  she  added  : 

"  We  must  not  stop.  You  will  die  of  wet  and  cold. 
Come,  dear  Mr.  Sprat.  Oh,  come  and  let  us  leave  at 
once." 

"  But,  Ruby,"  I  said,  "  the  way  is  long  and  the  road 
is  flooded.  There  are  two  miles  to  town." 

"  I  can  walk,"  she  said  eagerly.  "  I  am  perfectly 
well.  No  harm  can  come  to  me — while  you  are  with 
me,"  and  she  dropped  her  eyelids. 

"  We  will  go,"  I  said,  and  seeking  from  Mrs. 
Williams  a  stout  cudgel,  "  for  Simon  may  waylay  us," 
I  thought,  we  bade  farewell  to  Mrs.  Williams  and  went 
out. 

The  rain  had  ended,  but  the  sky  was  black  with 
clouds,  and  the  roaring  of  the  brook  could  be  plainly 
heard — that  brook  which  had  worked  such  havoc  for  us. 


166  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Ruby  put  her  arm  in  mine,  not  caring  for  the  wet 
sleeve,  and  clinging  to  me,  we  began  the  journey.  For 
a  time  she  was  silent,  but  at  last  she  said : 

"  And  did  you  carry  me  ?" 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  answered,  "  I  feared  that  you  were  much 
hurt." 

"  My  father  will  love  you  for  it,"  she  said.  "  You 
saved  my  life." 

And  then  we  tramped  along  through  the  darkness, 
until  presently,  far  off  down  the  hillside  and  across  the 
valley,  there  was  a  glimmer  of  lights,  and  I  knew  that 
we  were  safe,  though  the  way  still  was  long. 

"  It  is  Happy  Hollow,"  I  said,  pointing  to  the  lights. 

Then  she  fell  to  weeping,  and  I  heard  her  say  "  that 
dreadful  man  !"  and  I  was  sure  she  knew  of  my  struggle 
in  the  Williams's  house  and  who  it  was  I  wrestled  with. 

"  It  was  brave  and  noble  of  you,"  she  said  through 
her  tears ;  and  while  she  spoke  a  carriage  suddenly 
came  upon  us  and  some  one  called.  It  was  Colonel 
Bantam,  and  Spiker  was  with  him.  They  had  come 
out  to  look  for  us.  How  glad  they  were  to  find  us 
can  be  imagined. 

We  told  them  of  our  adventure  in  the  brook,  when 
we  had  put  Ruby  on  the  seat  with  the  Colonel  and  I 
had  climbed  in  by  the  side  of  Spiker,  who  drove  the 
horses  ;  but  neither  of  us  said  aught  of  Simon  Bulfinch. 

Thus  we  came  home,  and  when  the  welcomes  from 
Mrs.  Bantam  and  Julie  and  Elmira  were  ended,  Ruby 
turned  to  me  and  said : 

"  Good  night,  my  dear  friend,"  and  passed  up  the 
stairs  with  her  aunt  and  Julie. 

I  would  have  gone  to  my  room  at  once,  for  I  was 
indeed  quite  ill,  but  Colonel  Bantam  would  not  let  me 


AN  ADVENTURE   IN   THE   HILLS.     167 

go  until,  placing  his  hand  upon  my  shoulder  and  as- 
suming his  grandest  manner,  he  said  to  me  and  to 
Spiker : 

"  Sir,  it  was  splendid,  noble,  glorious  !  Let  me  look 
at  you.  Look  at  him,  Spiker !  Hero  is  written  upon 
every  lineament !  Like  is  drawn  to  like.  I  was  sure 
you  were  brave  when  first  I  saw  you.  Professor ! 
honor  me  by  clasping  the  sword-hand  of  a  veteran 
soldier  of  the  Republic.  With  a  thousand  men  like 
you  at  Fredericksburg  I  should  have  been  in  Richmond 
before  sundown !" 

Then  I  went  to  bed. 


the  morning  after  our  perilous  adven- 
ture in  the  hills  I  found  that  I  could 
not  rise  from  bed.  The  night  had  been  cold,  and  all 
my  garments  had  been  wet  for  several  hours,  and  so 
fever  came  on.  For  several  days  I  was  quite  ill,  and  it 
was  by  a  narrow  chance  that  I  escaped  pneumonia. 

I  fretted  because  of  my  absence  from  school  and  of 
my  helplessness,  for  never  before  had  I  been  so  sick  ; 
but  I  found  that  the  invalid  may  have  some  console- 
ments.  Mrs.  Bantam  was  an  assiduous  and  affection- 
ate nurse ;  and  Miss  Mortimer  had  for  me  a  bunch  or 
two  of  flowers  and  each  morning  a  gentle  word 
through  the  open  door ;  and  more  than  once  Ruby 
came  in  with  her  aunt  and  spoke  of  me  as  Andromeda 
might  have  told  of  Perseus.  My  action  in  saving  her 
was  indeed  so  much  magnified  by  her  friends  that  at 
last  I  felt  shamefaced  at  hearing  of  it ;  but  I  was  sure 
Ruby  knew  that  I  had  done  battle  for  her  with  an 

168 


INVALIDED.  169 

enemy  more  cruel  and  dreadful  than  the  wild  moun- 
tain torrent. 

So  the  days  went  on  until  I  could  sit  in  the  great 
chair  by  the  window  and  watch  the  stir  of  the  town 
under  the  impulse  supplied  by  A.  J.  Pelican.  For  the 
boom  seemed  to  have  new  vigor  every  day ;  and  all 
sorts  of  wonderful  stories  were  afloat  of  lots  that  had 
doubled  their  value  twice  and  thrice  a  week ;  of  the 
eagerness  of  outside  capitalists  to  invest  their  money 
in  almost  anything  that  could  be  bought  in  Happy 
Hollow ;  and  of  the  discovery  in  the  hills  of  metal  and 
building-stones  and  other  precious  materials  of  which 
no  Happy  Hollower  had  ever  dreamed  in  the  years 
gone  by. 

Elmira  told  me  how  the  shares  of  the  Improvement 
Company  had  advanced  in  value,  and  with  what  eager- 
ness they  were  sought  for;  and  this  seemed  to  me 
comforting.  I  hope  I  am  spiritually  minded,  but,  after 
all,  isn't  it  true  that  the  consciousness  of  an  enlarging 
revenue  brings  to  the  mind  a  feeling  of  bland,  soft, 
peaceful  contentment  ? 

The  new  horse-car  line  was  opened  while  I  sat  in 
my  chamber,  and  as  I  saw  the  cars  pass  up  and  down 
the  street  well  filled  with  people,  and  observed  how 
the  people  themselves  of  late  had  acquired  briskness 
of  manner  and  cheerfulness  of  countenance  much  be- 
yond their  wont,  I  thought  myself  fortunate  that  I  had 
come  to  Happy  Hollow  at  such  a  time,  and  had  found 
favor  with  the  conjuror  who  was  calling  so  much 
wealth  into  existence. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  came  to  see  me  and  brought  Charley 
with  him.  The  Doctor  was  most  kind  in  his  assurance 
that  my  mind  could  be  at  rest  about  my  duties  at  the 


1 70  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

school.  While  we  talked  Charley  squirmed.  He 
squirmed  upon  his  chair ;  then  upon  the  edge  of  the 
lounge,  and  then  upon  the  chair  again.  The  squirm- 
ing capacity  of  a  boy  who  is  waiting  while  persons 
converse  of  things  in  which  he  has  no  interest  has 
never  been  expressed  in  figures,  but  it  would  count  up 
large.  Finally,  at  my  suggestion,  Charley  squirmed 
downstairs  and  began  to  run  about  the  garden,  while  I 
told  the  Doctor  of  my  adventure  with  Simon  Bulfinch. 
The  good  man  was  troubled  and  sad,  but  he  com- 
mended me  warmly  for  holding  Simon  aloof  from  Ruby. 

When  Dr.  Bulfinch  had  gone,  Mrs.  Bantam  came  in 
and  brought  Ruby  with  her,  and  we  had  a  nice  talk 
about  Ruby's  school,  and  about  the  marvellous  things 
that  were  befalling  Happy  Hollow.  And,  after  a  while, 
Mrs.  Bantam  began  to  tell  of  the  Colonel's  share  in 
them,  and  I  found  her  disposed  to  give  to  him  rather 
than  to  A.  J.  Pelican  chief  credit  for  what  had  been 
accomplished. 

"  The  Colonel,"  she  said,  "  is  masterful.  He  has  a 
largeness  of  mind  that  makes  it  painful  for  him  to 
stoop  to  detail,  but  when  there  are  great  things  to  be 
done,  and  the  scale  is  colossal,  he  is  perfectly  at  home. 
His  intellect  works  with  almost  playful  facility." 

It  was  natural,  then,  for  the  dear  old  lady  to  drift 
off  to  her  favorite  topic  ;  and  she  said  : 

"There  are  few  men  like  the  Colonel,  Mr.  Sprat; 
— none,  in  fact.  I  often  pity  other  women.  It  seems 
almost  unfair  to  them  for  me  to  have  taken  him  and 
left  the  rest  with  no  chance  at  all  for  him.  Do  you 
think  it  was  too  selfish,  dear  Mr.  Sprat?" 

"  I  wouldn't  call  it  really  culpable  selfishness,"  I  said, 
and  Ruby  smiled  at  my  answer. 


INVALIDED. 


171 


"  Many  people,  Mr.  Sprat,  think  love  is  but  an  epi- 
sode ;  it  is  life  !  The  whole,  absolutely  the  whole,  of 
life.  Without  love  there  could  be  no  life — no  real  life. 
Take  Colonel  Bantam  out  of  my  life,  and  at  once  I  ex- 
pire. There  would  be  simply  black  darkness — the  dark- 
ness of  despair  and  death.  If  he  should  love  another 
woman,  I  should  in- 
stantly tear  her  limb 
from  limb ;"  and  Mrs. 
Bantam's  eyes  began 
to  blaze ;  then  sud- 
denly they  filled  with 
tears,  and,  as  her  hand 
was  instinctively  lifted 
toward  her  back-hair, 
she  said  in  imploring 
tones : 

"  Oh,  Mr. 
Sprat,  do 
you  think 
Joseph  ever 
could  love 
another  wo- 
man ?" 

Ruby  re- 
monstrated 
with  her  for 

putting  such  a  question  to  me,  but  I  did  not  hesitate 
to  assert  that  in  my  view  conduct  of  that  kind  upon 
the  part  of  Colonel  Bantam  could  be  confidently  re- 
garded as  impossible.  This  seemed  to  comfort  her, 
and  she  proceeded  to  say  : 

"  You,  Mr.  Sprat,  should  have  some  of  the  sunshine 


I  should  tear  her  limb 
from  limb." 


172  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

of  love  in  your  young  life.  Can  you  find  no  one  to 
love?" 

In  the  secret  recesses  of  my  heart  I  thought  I  could, 
but  I  answered  that  there  was  time  enough  for  me  to 
think  of  such  a  thing. 

"  No,"  insisted  Mrs.  Bantam,  with  sweet  gentleness, 
"  all  time  is  wasted  until  love  fills  the  life  with  radiance. 
Look  around  you  and  ascertain  if  there  is  no  one  whose 
heart  would  throb  with  your  heart." 

It  flashed  upon  my  mind,  then,  that  she  was  thinking 
of  Ruby,  and  to  try  her  I  said : 

"  Can  you  suggest  anyone  ?" 

"  Let  me  reflect  for  a  moment,"  she  answered,  laying 
her  hand  upon  Ruby's  arm.  "  Yes,"  she  said,  "  I  know 
of  a  lovely  woman  who  would  make  your  life  happy." 

"  Who  is  it  ?"  I  demanded,  and  I  confess  that  my 
heart  beat  strongly. 

"  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,"  she  said. 

"  Oh,  aunty  !"  exclaimed  Ruby.  "  She  is  a  great  deal 
too  old  for  Mr.  Sprat !" 

"  Hush,  child  !  You  are  much  too  young  to  know 
about  such  things.  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  is  rich  and 
handsome.  You  need  to  aspire,  Mr.  Sprat.  Your 
motto  should  be  Excelsior!  My  dear  father  always 
said  to  me,  '  Edith,  soar  !  Don't  grovel ';  and  so  I  say 
to  you,  why  not  make  that  lovely  woman  of  high 
station  and  generous  income  the  object  of  your  affec- 
tions ?" 

Ruby's  face  was  crimson  by  this  time.  She  perceived 
the  absurdity  of  the  suggestion  and  of  the  entire  conver- 
sation, and  she  proposed  to  her  aunt  to  withdraw  upon 
the  pretence  that  I  needed  some  refreshment  which 
Mrs.  Bantam  should  prepare.  But,  before  they  were 


INVALIDED.  173 

gone,  Colonel  Bantam  came  into  the  room,  and  Mrs. 
Bantam  gave  him  her  chair,  saying  to  me : 

"  The  Colonel  will  care  for  you  till  I  return."  Then 
she  and  Ruby  went  down  stairs. 

"  Magnificent  woman,  isn't  she  ?"  asked  the  Colonel, 
as  he  settled  himself  in  his  chair.  "  Magnificent "  (and 
the  Colonel's  countenance  fell),  "  but  too  much  con- 
trolled by  feeling.  It  is  a  womanly  weakness,  I  know, 
but  I  have  often  pressed  upon  Edith  the  necessity  for 
the  infusion  of  a  larger  element  of  stoicism  in  her 
nature.  I  heard,  sir,  what  she  advised  you  with 
respect  to  that  adorable  and  distinguished  widow,  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde.  Adopt  her  counsel.  You  can  get  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde  and  collar  (if  I  may  be  permitted  to 
employ  a  somewhat  vulgar  expression)  her  incalcula- 
ble wealth  as  easily  as  you  can  get  a  girl  without  a 
dollar." 

"  Speaking  about  marriage,"  continued  Colonel  Ban- 
tam, "  I  have  just  gone  into  a  pool  with  Jason  Hole, 
the  Methodist  minister." 

"  A  pool  ?     What  kind  of  a  pool  ?" 

"  Why,  sir,  there  has  been  some  rivalry  between  him 
and  me  in  the  matter  of  starting  young  people  upon 
the  joyous  voyage  of  matrimony.  There  is  no  reason, 
sir,  why  the  clergy  should  have  a  monopoly  of  this 
business  when  the  laws  of  our  country  repose  in  the 
hands  of  the  civil  magistrate  complete  authority  to 
bind  loving  hearts  together ;  and  so,  as  Hole  asked 
five  dollars  for  performance  of  the  ceremony,  I  let  it 
be  known  that  the  chief  magistrate  of  the  town  would 
bring  young  lives  into  unison  for  four  dollars.  There- 
upon this  person  Hole,  with  discreditable  greed,  dropped 
to  three  dollars.  Considering  the  circumstances,  sir, 


1/4  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

was  it  not  positively  unavoidable  that  I  should  dimin- 
ish my  fee  to  two  dollars?  Hole  met  it  and  went 
lower ;  he  announced,  almost  publicly,  that  he  would 
throw  the  golden  chains  of  conjugal  union  around  the 
loving  pair  for  the  paltry  sum  of  one  dollar.  I  am 
almost  ashamed  to  mention  it.  But,  sir,  no  mere 
clerical  person,  a  non-combatant,  can  be  permitted  to 
bluff  me.  My  honor  and  the  dignity  of  my  office 
were  involved,  and  so,  sir,  to  settle  the  matter  once  for 
all,  and  to  drive  this  unworthy  intermeddler  from  the 
field,  I  began  to  marry  two  couples  for  a  quarter  of  a 
dollar.  Think  of  it ! 

"  I  supposed,  sir,  that  this  man  Hole,  whose  conduct 
had  brought  discredit  upon  his  cloth,  would  succumb, 
and  we  should  hear  no  more  of  it.  You  will  regard  it 
as  incredible,  but  I  speak  the  words  of  soberness  and 
truth  when  I  tell  you  that  he  met  me  by  the  announce- 
ment that  he  would  accept  the  fee  suggested  by  me 
and  throw  in  a  hymn-book  and  a  blessing.  He  is 
reported  to  have  declared  that  I  could  not  supply  a 
blessing.  But,  sir,  when  it  comes  to  blessing,  Joseph 
Bantam  in  his  capacity  of  Mayor  of  Happy  Hollow, 
can  out-bless  any  minister  that  ever  stood  in  the  pulpit ; 
and  I  said  so. 

"  At  last,  sir,  vanquished  at  every  point,  he  degraded 
himself  so  far  as  to  offer  a  free  ceremony  and  six  plated 
teaspoons.  I  stopped  the  contest  there.  Apart  from 
the  travesty  upon  decency  and  propriety  by  making 
this  solemn  ceremony  a  matter  of  chaffering  and  bar- 
gaining, my  resources  have  fallen  into  such  a  condition 
of  dilapidation  as  to  make  rivalry  along  the  line  of 
plated  teaspoons  impossible.  I  have  had  an  interview 
with  Hole,  therefore,  and  we  have  agreed  to  restore  the 


INVALIDED.  175 

fee  to  the  original  figure,  five  dollars,  and  to  pool  and 
divide  the  proceeds." 

When  I  had  commended  the  wisdom  of  this  arrange- 
ment, Colonel  Bantam  proceeded : 

"  I  simply  loathe  these  references  to  money  matters, 
but  the  truth  is  that  the  losses  inflicted  upon  me  by 
this  unnecessary  contest  have  once  more  completely 
impoverished  me,  and  I  am  in  fact  an  involuntary  bank- 
rupt, with  the  wolf  not  far  from  the  door.  Would  it 
be  too  great  a  trespass  upon  your  good  nature  to  let 
me  have  five  dollars  upon  one  of  the  blocks  of  Im- 
provement Stock  as  collateral,  and  when  my  first  div- 
idend comes  in  we  will  resume  the  status  quo  ?" 

I  handed  him  the  money,  and  as  he  placed  it  in  his 
pocket,  Mr.  Spiker  knocked  upon  my  door  and  asked 
if  he  might  come  in. 

I  thought  Spiker  seemed  sorry  to  find  the  Colonel 
with  me,  but  he  sat  with  us  and  chatted  pleasantly ; 
and  after  awhile  he  told  us  that  he  had  in  the  Defender 
office  a  practice  of  clipping  from  his  exchanges  sketches 
of  the  lives  of  prominent  men,  and  filing  them  away 
in  his  obituary  department  for  use  when  the  persons 
referred  to  should  die. 

The  Colonel  commended  the  foresight  thus  mani- 
fested. 

Spiker  proceeded  to  say  that  the  youth  to  whom  this 
duty  of  procuring  biographical  material  was  assigned 
had  lately  clipped  and  labelled  and  pigeon-holed  an 
account  of  the  career  of  Martin  Van  Buren  ;  and  when 
Spiker  asked  him  if  he  did  not  know  Van  Buren  had 
been  dead  for  many,  many  years,  the  young  man  ex- 
pressed complete  ignorance  of  the  fact,  and  pretended 
to  be  painfully  affected  by  the  intelligence. 


176  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  Have  you  an  account  of  my  life  in  your  collec- 
tion ?"  inquired  Colonel  Bantam,  with  some  eagerness. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  answered  the  editor  carelessly. 

"  Do  you  deal  in  a  large,  liberal  way  with  my  war 
record  ?  I  must  have  justice  done  to  that." 

"  I  guess  so." 

"  The  matter  is  far  too  important  to  be  relegated  to 
the  domain  of  conjecture.  You  will  permit  me  to 
examine  your  narrative,  Mr.  Spiker?" 

"  That  would  be  very  irregular." 

"  Irregular  or  not  irregular,  sir,  no  one  can  do  justice 
to  my  achievements  as  a  soldier  but  myself.  I  must 
see  it." 

"  Impossible !"  said  Mr.  Spiker,  with  a  smile. 

"  No,  sir ;  not  impossible.  It  is  necessary.  I  will 
leave  no  room  for  the  malignant  whispering  of  ani- 
mosity when  I  can  no  longer  defend  myself.  My 
record  is  mine.  The  story  of  my  life  is  my  own  prop- 
erty. What,  sir!  do  you  deny  me  the  privilege  of 
examining  the  history  of  my  own  existence  ?  Prepos- 
terous !  I  shall  call  upon  the  tribunals  of  justice  to 
maintain  my  cause." 

"  All  right,"  said  Mr.  Spiker  wearily.     "  Call." 

Colonel  Bantam's  excitement  increased.  He  walked 
up  the  room,  down  the  room,  and  around  the  room, 
as  if  uncertain  what  to  do  next.  At  last,  with  flushed 
face  and  voice  husky  with  agitation,  he  said : 

"  I  give  you  formal  notice  now,  sir,  that  a  subpoena 
duces  tecum  will  be  served  on  you  to-morrow  by  my 
daughter,  Miss  Bantam,  requiring  you  to  produce  my 
obituary  notice  in  court !" 

Colonel  Bantam  slammed  the  door  as  he  went  out, 
and  Mr.  Spiker  looked  at  me  and  laughed. 


INVALIDED.  177 

When  the  Colonel  was  gone,  Mr.  Spiker  rocked  to 
and  fro  in  the  old-fashioned  high  rocking-chair  with 
the  red  bombazine  cushion,  looking  as  if  some  matter 
of  importance  bore  upon  his  mind.  He  was  not 
gloomy,  but  he  had  an  unusual  air  of  solemnity,  and 
he  seemed  abstracted. 

"  How  is  the  Defender  getting  on.?"  I  asked,  to  rouse 
him  from  one  of  these  spells  of  absent-mindedness. 

"  Oh,  fair  enough  !  Pretty  fair !  Not  half  as  much 
cash  business  as  there  ought  to  be  in  a  town  like  this ; 
but  I  don't  complain.  By  the  way,  Sprat,  do  you 
know  anyone  who  has  asthma  ?" 

I  said  I  did  not. 

"  Because  I've  just  had  to  take  four  dozen  of  Wig- 
fall's  Asthma  Cure  for  an  ad.  But  maybe  I  can  trade 
them  at  Brindle's  drug-store  for  soda-water  and  cigars. 
Funny  way,  isn't  it,  of  running  the  mightiest  engine  of 
civilization?  And  of  course  you  have  no  use  for 
chemical  fire-extinguishers  either — the  kind  you  carry 
on  your  back  ?  I  have  taken  in  several  more,  and 
there  hasn't  been  a  fire  in  Happy  Hollow  for  four 
years.  However,  they  can  lie  there  in  my  cellar  as 
assets.  I  could  start  you  in  almost  any  kind  of  busi- 
ness from  that  cellar.  I'd  make  the  terms  easy,  too." 

Mr.  Spiker  arose  and  walked  around  the  room, 
looking  at  the  lurid  picture  over  the  washstand  of  the 
eruption  of  Mount  Vesuvius ;  examining  the  graining 
of  my  little  mahogany  secretary,  glancing  at  himself 
in  the  glass,  and  softly  half  whistling  at  the  time. 

I  was  sure  Spiker  had  something  to  say  that  he  felt 
shy  of  saying. 

Presently  he  sat  again  in  the  rocking-chair,  thrust 
both  his  hands  in  his  trowsers-pockets,  extended  his 

12 


i;8  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

legs  at  full  length,  fixed  his  eyes  upon  the  carpet 
between  his  heels,  and  said : 

"  Sprat !" 

"  Well  ?" 

Then  Spiker,  gazing  steadfastly  at  the  carpet,  re- 
mained silent  for  two  minutes  as  if  he  were  searching 
for  the  right  word.  At  last  he  said  : 

"  Say,  old  man,  I'm  in  love !"  And  the  editor's  face 
became  as  red  as  the  roses  upon  the  carpet. 

"  I  congratulate  you,"  I  said,  smiling. 

"  Very  well ;  thank  you ;  but  then  the  question  is 
what  am  I  going  to  do  about  it  ?  Maybe  she  won't 
have  me." 

"  Have  you  asked  her  ?" 

"  Not  yet,  but  I'm  going  to.  I'm  gradually  moving 
up  toward  it.  It's  a  ticklish  business.  Would  you 
mind  helping  me  out  ?" 

"  I  will  do  what  I  can  ;  but  who  is  the  woman  ?" 

"  Miss  Mortimer ;  Julie  Mortimer.  Sprat,  I've  got 
to  have  her  or  life'll  be  of  no  use  to  me." 

"  Bad  as  that  is  it  ?" 

"  Bad  or  good,  my  boy,  I'm  in  for  it  the  worst  way 
you  ever  saw.  I  felt  it  coming  on  the  first  time  I 
looked  at  her  in  Pelican's  show  ;  and  since  she's  been 
hovering  around  the  Defender  office —  Well,  Sprat, 
I'd  rather  let  the  Defender  go  into  bankruptcy  than 
give  her  up.  Perfectly  lovely,  isn't  she?  Did  you 
ever  see  such  a  charming  woman  ?  And  smart,  too  ! 
Old  man,  I  simply  must  have  her,  that's  the  whole 
of  it." 

"  But  what  can  I  do  for  you  ?" 

"  I  want  your  advice,"  and  .Spiker  felt  around  in  his 
coat-tail  pocket  and  produced  a  paper  scroll,  tied  with 


INVALIDED.  179 

a  bit  of  string.  Unrolling  it  and  rolling  it  the  reverse 
way  to  make  it  lie,  he  handed  it  to  me. 

"  What  do  you  think  it  is  ?"  he  asked. 

"  At  the  first  glance,"  I  said,  turning  the  paper  one 
way  and  then  another,  "it  looks  like  a  map  of  the 
townships  of  Blair  County,  only  the  names  are  all 
wrong." 

"  Man  !"  exclaimed  Spiker,  "  that's  a  phrenological 
chart !  It  is  a  diagram,  or  lay-out,  of  my  skull,  drawn 
on  a  Mercator  projection — that  \s,flat,  you  know." 

"  Funny,  isn't  it  ?" 

"  Not  funny  ;  interesting.  That  was  drawn  out  for 
me  by  Professor  Baffin,  the  celebrated  phrenologist  of 
Philadelphia,  and  I  pay  for  it  with  a  ten-line  ad.  on  my 
inside,  e.  o.  d.,  for  three  months.  Now,  Sprat,  just  run 
your  eye  over  it,"  and  Mr.  Spiker  pulled  his  chair  over 
by  mine  and  extended  his  forefinger  to  indicate  the 
good  points  of  the  diagram.  "  Observe  how  strong 
the  bump  of  philanthropy  is,  and  here  is  the  bump  of 
acquisitiveness.  Down  here  are  the  domestic  pro- 
pensities, so  to  speak,  and  you  notice  that  all  of  them 
are  abnormally  large.  That  might  impress  her,  don't 
you  think?" 

"  Impress  whom?" 

"  Julie,  of  course.  I  had  it  made  for  her.  She  can 
look  at  it  before  I  propose  and  see  just  what  kind  of  a 
man  I  am." 

"Not  a  bad  idea,"  I  said,  "but  I  notice  that  the 
bump  of  combativeness  is  very  large,  too.  Maybe  she 
won't  like  that." 

"  I  had  half  a  notion  to  ink  that  over ;  but  I  think 
I'll  let  it  go.  She  knows  very  well  I'm  not  quarrel- 
some, excepting  with  other  editors,  and  that's  really 


i8o  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

just  a  regular  part  of  our  business.  How  do  you 
think  she'll  take  it  ?"  asked  Spiker,  rolling  up  the  chart 
and  tapping  the  arm  of  the  rocking-chair  with  it. 

"  I  hardly  know ;  I  never  heard  of  anyone  courting 
in  just  that  way,  but  maybe  it  will  go;  it's  original, 
anyhow." 

"  Exactly,"  said  Spiker,  "and  she's  just  the  kind  of 
a  woman  to  appreciate  a  bright,  new  thing.  Do  you 
think  she  cares  for  me,  Sprat  ?  Have  you  noticed  ?" 

"  I  can't  say  that  I  have.  You  know  I  am  really 
very  busy,  and  I  don't  observe  such  things  closely. 
But  she's  a  fine  woman.  I  hope  you  will  get  her." 

"  My  life's  just  ruined  if  I  don't  get  her." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know,"  I  said.  "  I  wouldn't  feel  that 
way  about  it.  There  are  plenty  of  other  nice  women." 

"  Not  for  me,"  said  Spiker,  with  some  mournful- 
ness. 

"  There's  Elmira  Bantam,"  I  suggested.  "  Try  her 
if  you  fail  with  Julie." 

"  Sprat,  don't  trifle  with  me  !"  What  would  I  want 
Elmira  for  ?  Have  you  noticed  lately  she  has  got  to 
tying  up  her  hair  with  red  tape  ?  That  is  carrying  the 
professional  idea  too  far,  in  my  judgment.  Anyhow, 
Elmira  will  boss  any  man  who  marries  her,  and  I'm 
not  looking  for  a  boss ;  I'm  in  search  of  a  wife — some 
one  to  love.  I'd  hate  to  have  a  woman  ordering  me 
about." 

"  I  suppose,  really,"  continued  Spiker,  after  a  mo- 
ment's reflection,  "  it  would  be  a  better  stroke  of  busi- 
ness for  me  to  marry  somebody  who  has  lots  of 
relations  instead  of  a  woman  who  is  alone,  for  then  I 
might  have  a  chance  gradually  to  get  rid  of  some  of 
my  tombstones  and  mantel-pieces  among  the  members 


INVALIDED.  181 

of  the  family ;  but  I  don't  care  for  that ;  Julie  is  the 
woman  for  me,  tombstones  or  no  tombstones." 

"  I  have  a  notion  that  she  likes  you,"  I  said,  with  a 
purpose  to  offer  the  editor  encouragement. 

"  It  seems  so  to  you,  does  it  ?"  asked  Spiker,  with  a 
gleam  of  hopefulness  in  his  eyes.  Then  he  looked 
despondent  again  and  said :  "  But  I  don't  know. 
Women  are  secretive  and  deceptive.  You  can  never 
discover  how  they  feel  about  such  things  until  you  ask 
them.  I'll  tell  you,  Sprat,  I  have  half  a  notion  to 
frighten  her  a  bit  if  she  shows  any  discouraging  indica- 
tions." 

"  Frighten  her !     How  ?" 

"  Why  I  have  the  census  statistics  at  my  office  to 
show  that  there  are  ever  so  many  more  women  than 
men  in  the  country,  and  that,  if  every  man  of  us  should 
marry,  there'd  be  thousands  of  women  left  over  with 
no  chance.  The  inference  is,  and  she's  smart  enough 
to  draw  it,  that  each  woman  who  has  an  offer  had  better 
jump  at  it,  because  if  she  doesn't  she  may  be  one  of 
the  too  many.  I'll  show  you  the  figures  some  time." 

Mrs.  Bantam  came  in  with  the  refreshment  she  had 
made  ready  for  me,  and  the  editor  replaced  the  Mer- 
cator  projection  of  his  head  in  his  coat-pocket,  while 
Mrs.  Bantam  began  to  express  apprehension  respecting 
the  burglaries  that  had  been  committed  three  or  four 
times  since  the  boom  had  begun  in  Happy  Hollow. 

Mr.  Spiker  endeavored  to  calm  her  fears,  assuring 
her  that  he  would  take  care  of  any  burglar  who  should 
be  bold  enough  to  try  to  enter  the  home  of  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam. 

Mrs.  Bantam  appeared  to  feel  comforted. 

".It  is  indeed  reassuring,"  she  said,  "to  have  brave 


1 82  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

men  in  the  house;  you,  and  Mr.  Sprat,  and  the  Colonel. 
The  Colonel  is  a  host  in  himself.  A  mere  burglar 
would  quail  before  him." 

It  is  a  very  odd  fact  that  we  should  have  had  a  bur- 
glar-scare in  our  house  that  very  night.  This  may  have 
been  due  to  the  conversation  upon  the  subject  con- 
ducted between  Mrs.  Bantam,  the  Colonel,  and  Spiker, 
with  the  result  that  their  thoughts  were  strongly 
directed  to  the  subject. 

In  the  middle  of  the  night  there  was  a  tumult  in  the 
second-floor  hallway,  and,  hastily  putting  on  some 
clothing,  I  went  out  to  learn  what  was  the  cause  of  it. 
I  found  Colonel  Bantam  and  Mr.  Spiker  standing  in 
the  hall,  by  the  bath-room  door,  and  in  the  light  that 
came  from  the  bath-room  through  the  open  doorway 
I  could  perceive  that  both  of  them  had  white  faces. 
They  were  excited  and  trembling,  and  they  could  hardly 
command  breath  enough  for  speech.  Mrs.  Bantam, 
with  a  wrapper  thrown  about  her,  stood  upon  the  land- 
ing just  above  the  bath-room  and  held  fast  to  the 
banister.  She  was  tearful  and  terror-stricken. 

"  Go  down  after  him,  Colonel,"  said  Spiker,  "  and  I 
will  follow  you." 

"  No,  no !"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Bantam.  "  Do  not  go, 
Joseph  !  He  will  kill  you." 

The  Colonel  turned  and  looked  at  Spiker  as  if  to 
convey  the  notion  that  consideration  for  the  feelings 
of  his  wife  alone  restrained  him  from  dashing  down 
the  stairs  after  the  supposed  burglar. 

"  If  I  had  a  weapon,  I  would  go  alone,"  said  Spiker 
boldly.  He  was  sure  there  was  no  weapon  within 
reach. 

"  Let  me  go  down,  Edith,"  implored  the  Colonel, 


INVALIDED.  183 

showing  at  the  same  time  a  distinct  purpose  to  remain 
rooted  to  the  spot. 

"  I  shall  swoon  if  you  do  so,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam. 
"  Your  life  is  far  too  valuable  for  such  a  sacrifice." 

The  Colonel  looked  again  at  Spiker,  then  at  me,  as 
if  to  say : 

"  How  can  I  go  under  such  circumstances  ?" 

"  Let  them  take  our  things,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam 
eagerly.  "The  spoons  are  up  stairs,  and  there  is 
nothing  below  that  is  of  any  value  in  comparison  with 
your  precious  life.  I  do  wish  we  had  kept  the  blood- 
hounds." 

"  You  are  a  single  man,  Spiker,"  said  the  Colonel. 
"  You  take  the  lead  and  the  Professor  and  I  will  bring 
up  your  rear." 

"  No,"  said  Spiker  firmly,  edging  back  into  the  bath- 
room under  the  pretence  of  having  to  turn  up  the  gas- 
light. "  If  the  head  of  the  house  won't  take  care  of 
his  own  burglars  he  can't  reasonably  expect  me  to  do 
it." 

"  But  you  see  how  I  am  hampered,"  expostulated 
the  Colonel.  "  To  go  down  stairs  is  nothing,  but  to 
have  the  idol  of  my  soul  plunged  into  paroxysms  of 
hysteria  upon  the  staircase  is  more  than  I  can  stand." 

"  Call  the  police,  then,"  said  Spiker. 

"  He  is  asleep  at  the  station,"  said  the  Colonel  de- 
spondently. 

t(  Are  you  sure  there  is  a  burglar  down  stairs  ?"  I 
asked. 

"  Sure,"  said  Colonel  Bantam.     "  I  saw  him." 

"  So  did  I,"  said  Mr.  Spiker. 

"  Joseph,"  pleaded  Mrs.  Bantam,  "  don't  think  of 
such  a  thing  as  pursuing  him  farther.  Let  us  all  lock 

I 


1 84  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

ourselves  in  our  rooms  and  dare  him  to  do  his 
worst." 

While  Mrs.  Bantam  was  speaking,  Elmira  leaned 
over  the  railing  of  the  third-story  staircase  and  asked  : 

"  What  is  the  matter  ?" 

"  There's  a  burglar  in  the  house,"  answered  Mrs. 
Bantam,  and  Colonel  Bantam,  and  Mr.  Spiker  and  I. 

"  Wait  a  moment,"  said  Miss  Bantam's  voice,  float- 
ing downward. 

In  a  moment  Miss  Bantam  came  down  the  stairs 
with  a  pink  wrapper  girded  about  her.  She  looked 
really  handsome.  She  was  as  tranquil  as  if  she  were 
going  to  breakfast. 

"  How  do  you  know  there  is  a  burglar  ?"  she  asked. 

"  We  saw  him,"  answered  the  Colonel  and  the  editor. 

Elmira  understood  the  situation  at  once.*  She  glanced 
contemptuously  at  her  father  and  at  Spiker,  and,  I  am 
sorry  to  say,  at  me. 

"  Let  me  have  hold  of  something,"  she  said,  as  she 
looked  about  for  a  cudgel.  Finding  nothing  in  the 
nature  of  a  weapon,  she  entered  the  bath-room,  seized 
a  tooth-brush,  and  walked  boldly  down  the  front  stairs. 

When  she  reached  the  first  floor  she  lighted  the  gas- 
burner  in  the  hall,  and  then  the  Colonel  and  Spiker 
went  down  after  her. 

Without  flinching,  Elmira,  with  the  tooth-brush  held 
in  front  of  her  like  a  loaded  pistol,  entered  the  parlor 
and  the  dining-room,  the  sitting-room  and  the  kitchen, 
looking  under  the  sofas  and  tables,  opening  all  the 
closets  and  examining  the  fastenings  upon  the  cellar- 
door.  Then,  finding  nobody,  she  turned  out  the  light 
in  the  hall,  leaving  her  two  followers  to  come  up  in 
the  darkness,  and  ascended  the  staircase. 


ELMIRA'S  BURGLAR-HUNT. 


INVALIDED.  185 

"Did  you  find  him,  dearest?"  asked  Mrs.  Bantam, 
as  Elmira  replaced  the  tooth-brush  upon  the  washstand 
in  the  bath-room. 

"Find  him!"  exclaimed  Miss  Bantam,  scornfully. 
"  There  was  nobody  to  find,  and  I  knew  it.  How  I 
should  hate  to  be  a  man !"  and  Mr.  Spiker  looked  as 
if  he  should  wither  under  her  glance. 

"  Pardon  me,  Miss  Bantam,"  said  the  editor,  "  but 
there  was  a  burglar  down  there,  for  I  had  a  scuffle 
with  him  in  the  hall." 

"  So  had  I,"  added  the  Colonel. 

"  My  room  door  was  open,"  continued  Mr.  Spiker, 
"  and  I  heard  some  one  moving  about  in  the  darkness 
down  stairs.  I  crept  cautiously  down  the  back  stair- 
case here  without  my  shoes,  and  I  almost  fell  into  the 
arms  of  a  burglar." 

"Why  didn't  you  hold  him,  if  you  had  him?"  asked 
Elmira. 

"  We  grappled  and  fought  there  for  several  minutes, 
when,  finally,  he  broke  away  from  me,  and  as  he 
seemed  stronger  than  I,  I  ran  upstairs  to  call  for  help. 
I  met  your  father  out  here  on  this  landing  just  as  I 
got  here." 

Colonel  Bantam  looked  queerly  at  Mr.  Spiker,  and 
said : 

"  It  is  very  strange.  Did  the  burglar  put  his  arm 
around  your  neck  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  And  you  tried  to  throw  him  by  locking  your  right 
leg  in  his  left  leg  ?" 

"  Exactly." 

"  And  you  said,  '  Now  I've  got  you,  have  I '  ?" 

"  Yes." 


1 86  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  Mr.  Spiker,"  said  Colonel  Bantam,  sternly,  "  you 
and  I  appear  to  have  had  some  kind  of  frictional  irri- 
tation between  us  ever  since  you  made  your  home 
beneath  my  roof-tree.  It  is  exasperating  to  the  last 
degree.  But  do  you  know,  sir,  that  I  was  the  person 
you  encountered  upon  the  first  floor?  I  had  gone 
down  to  the  pantry,  sir,  to  obtain  a  drink  of  water,  and 
when  you  descended  upon  me  under  the  extraordinary 
delusion  that  I  was  a  burglar,  I  not  unnaturally 
thought  you  were  a  burglar,  and  I  made,  as  you  will 
testify,  a  resolute  effort  to  throttle  you  and  to  hand 
you  over  to  justice." 

"  You  fled  up  one  staircase,"  said  Elmira  to  the 
editor,  "  and  paw  fled  up  the  other." 

Colonel  Bantam  was  angry. 

"  The  employment  of  the  word  '  fled '  in  that  or  in 
any  other  connection,  with  reference  to  a  movement 
made  by  me,  is  not  only  in  the  last  degree  inconsider- 
ate, but  it  borders  upon  outright  impertinence !  I 
first  floored  the  burglar,  and  then  came  up  to  call  Mr. 
Sprat  to  help  me  to  secure  him.  Mr.  Spiker,  I  will 
have  further  explanation  with  you  of  this  unfortunate, 
and  even  mysterious,  incident." 

Colonel  Bantam  withdrew  with  Mrs.  Bantam,  and  as 
Elmira  went  away  into  the  third  story,  Spiker  said  to 
me : 

"  Sprat,  trouble  is  brewing  between  that  man  Ban- 
tam and  me.  He  has  strained  our  relations  to  the 
point  where  a  break  seems  inevitable." 


the  time  I  had  fully 
recovered  from  my  illness 
the  signs  were  appearing 
of  the  swift  coming  of 
spring.  Upon  the  distant 
hills  and  on  the  towering 
brown  hill  near  by,  where- 
on Ruby  and  I  had  so 
perilous  an  adventure,  a 
faint  tinge  of  green  was  to 
be  perceived.  The  trees  in 
our  tiny  park  were  covered  with  buds  that  swelled  with 
a  promise  of  foliage ;  the  first  narrow  thread-like  blades 
of  grass  had  thrust  themselves  from  the  earth ;  the 
birds  twittered  and  frolicked  among  the  trees  and 
bushes,  and  the  brook  that  swept  beneath  the  bridges 
was  brimming  with  the  melted  snow  that  had  lain  upon 
the  far  upland. 

It  was    comforting,  after  so  long  tarrying   in   the 
house,  to  be  once  more  in  the  soft  sweet  air  and  in  the 

187 


i88  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

warmth  of  the  sunshine ;  and  when  school  was  ended 
I  found  delight  during  the  afternoons  in  sitting  in  the 
park  or  slowly  walking  about  while  I  watched  the 
swift  progression  of  the  work  of  the  Improvement 
Company.  The  buildings  upon  the  main  street  were 
going  up  rapidly ;  the  Water  Works  were  nearly  ready, 
and  the  two  hotels  just  beyond  the  town  were  roofed 
in,  with  a  promise  of  readiness  for  summer  guests. 

The  horse-car  line  was  in  high  favor  with  the  people, 
and,  indeed,  I  often  found  refreshment,  and  also  gratifi- 
cation for  curiosity,  in  riding  upon  a  car  out  along  the 
lovely  lane  that  led  to  Grigsby's  Bluff,  where  there  was 
a  noble  view  across  the  valley,  and  back  again  through 
the  town  to  Purgatory  Springs  upon  the  other  side. 

Smiling  prosperity  appeared  in  every  part  of  Happy 
Hollow.  Everybody  looked  happy,  nearly  everybody 
expected  to  become  rich.  The  boom  started  by  A.  J. 
Pelican  lost  none  of  its  impetus ;  it  seemed  to  become 
stronger  day  by  day.  As  Mr.  Spiker  continued  to 
declare  in  the  Defender,  destiny,  beyond  all  doubt,  had 
prepared  a  glorious  future  for  Happy  Hollow. 

But  in  this  perplexing  world  the  law  of  things  seems 
to  be  that  nothing  shall  make  an  untrammelled  move- 
ment toward  higher  and  better  conditions.  A  wise 
observer  has  said  that  the  best  of  us  zigzag  heaven- 
ward, and  the  rule  is  that  the  path  never  runs  straight 
toward  any  worldly  goal  that  is  worth  striving  for. 
So  it  was  too  much  for  even  the  most  sanguine  citizen 
of  Happy  Hollow  to  expect  that  the  town  should 
fulfil  its  lofty  destiny  without  first  encountering  serious 
obstruction. 

Trouble  was  in  store  for  us ;  but  the  most  gifted 
seer  in  Happy  Hollow  could  not  have  foretold  that  it 


THE  STRIKE. 


189 


would  come  through  the  agency  of  the  popular  street- 
car line. 

The  demon  who  brought  discord  to  Happy  Hollow 
was  Abram  Hunsicker,  walking  delegate  for  the  Street- 
car Laborers'  Union  of  the  metropolis. 

Happy  Hollow  had  but  three  street-cars ;  one  to  go 
up  and  one  to  go  down,  while  the  third  stood  on  one 
of  the  turnouts  waiting  for 
the  car  that  went  down  to 
come  up,  or  for  the  car  that 
came  up  to  go  down.  Really 
it  does  seem  as  if  our  three 
little  cars  might  have  been 
passed  by  when  Abram 
Hunsicker  started  out  with 
a  desire  to  create  trouble. 
There  were  so  many  towns 
that  had  four  cars,  or  forty 
— so  many  towns  where  peo- 
ple were  more  quarrelsome, 
and  where  the  good  times 
had  lasted  longer  than  in 
Happy  Hollow. 

But,  no  ;  as  soon  as  Abram 
Hunsicker  and  the  Street- 
car Laborers'  Union  learned, 
that  there  was  a  car-line  in 
Happy  Hollow  out  among 
the  everlasting  hills,  Abram  Hunsicker  had  an  irresist- 
ible impulse  to  run  up  to  the  town  to  discover  in  what 
degree  the  unfortunate  laboring  man,  engaged  in  opera- 
ting the  horse-cars,  was  being  ground  beneath  the  heel 
of  the  oppressor. 


The  walking  delegate. 


190  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

Abram  Hunsicker,  we  learned  at  last,  had  very  sur- 
prising gifts  as  a  walking  delegate.  Put  Abram  in  a 
group  of  happy  and  contented  men,  and  within  two 
hours  he  would  send  every  man  home  discontented  and 
miserable. 

The  driver  of  car  number  two,  Albert  Potts,  was  one 
of  the  most  popular  young  men  in  Happy  Hollow 
until  Abram  Hunsicker  came  up  to  look  after  the  in- 
terests of  the  unfortunate  workingmen  ;  but  within  four 
days  after  Hunsicker's  arrival  all  the  other  men  em- 
ployed by  the  street  railway  company  refused  to  work 
until  Potts  should  be  discharged. 

Mr.  Pelican,  busy  though  he  was,  had  so  much  sur- 
prise and  pain  because  of  this  conduct  upon  the  part 
of  men  whom  he  had  thought  well  satisfied  with  their 
work,  that  he  made  personal  inquiry  into  the  matter. 

Why  should  the  dismissal  of  Potts  suddenly  become 
so  urgently  and  imperatively  necessary  to  the  peace  of 
mind  of  his  co-laborers  that  his  co-laborers  would 
rather  go  without  money  and  bread  than  to  fail  to 
obtain  it? 

This  was  the  question  that  engaged  the  attention  of 
A.  J.  Pelican. 

Jim  Sturgis,  driver  of  car  number  three,  upon  being 
interrogated,  said  the  strike  was  ordered  by  the  Car 
Laborers'  Union. 

"  But  Potts  is  a  member  of  the  union  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Well,  then,  why  does  the  union  turn  against  him  ?" 

"  It's  this  way,  sir.  Al's  Aunt  Susan  Hovey,  who 
lives  with  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  and  does  chamber  work, 
is  not  a  member  of  the  Chambermaids'  Union,  and  that, 
you  see,  makes  all  the  chambermaids  mad.  And  as 


THE   STRIKE. 


191 


the  Chambermaids'  Union  can't  find  no  means  of  strik- 
ing at  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  and  can't  nohow  get  at  Al's 
Aunt  Susan  Hovey,  they  have  asked  the  Car  Laborers' 
Union  to  strike  at  Al's  Aunt  Susan  Hovey  in  a  round- 
about sort  of  a  way  by  hittin'  at  Al.  That's  the  way 
it  began,  sir." 

"  Do  you  think  that's  quite  fair  to  Al  ?" 

"Well,  sir,  it  don't    look   jest  that  way,  does  it?" 
But  you  know  when  you  belong  to  a  union,  as  Abram 
Hunsicker 
says,    you've 
got  to  stand 
by  the  rules  ; 
and  the  rules 
says   Al  has 
to  go  unless  [ 
Al's    Aunt 
Susan      Ho- 
vey     jines 
the   Cham- 
bermaids' 
Union." 

"  Has  any- 
body asked 
her  to  join  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir.  Abram  Hun- 
sicker  seen  her  twice  and 
put  the  proposition  to  her, 
and  she  said  she  wouldn't 
jine  onless  they'd  make  her 
corresponding  secretary." 

"Won't  the  union  do  that?" 

"  No,  sir  ;  and  I'll  tell  you  why  :  Mary  Jane  Delaney 


she  said  Mary  Jane  Delaney's 
bonnet  was  old  fashioned." 


192  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

is  the  president  of  the  Chambermaids'  Union,  and  she 
won't  let  Al's  Aunt  Susan  Hovey  be  elected  corre- 
sponding secretary  because  Al's  Aunt  Susan  Hovey, 
last  February  a  year,  at  church  one  day,  said  President 
Mary  Jane  Delaney's  bonnet  was  old  fashioned." 

"And  so  you  men,"  said  A.  J.  Pelican,  "throw  away 
your  wages  and  stop  the  street-cars  and  make  trouble 
all  around  because  two  women  squabble  over  a 
bonnet !" 

"  We've  got  to  do  it,  sir.  The  union  says  so.  We 
only  want  to  be  reasonable." 

A.  J.  Pelican  resolved  that  Potts  should  not  be  dis- 
missed, and  he  said  so. 

The  next  morning  there  was  what  Abram  Hun- 
sicker  called  a  sympathetic  strike.  All  the  brick- 
layers, stone-masons,  carpenters,  plumbers,  plasterers, 
hod-carriers,  cart-drivers,  mortar-mixers,  and  laborers 
refused  to  go  to  work. 

The  boom  stopped  suddenly,  and  A.  J.  Pelican  was 
in  a  condition  of  much  excitement  and  grave  perplexity. 
He  sent  for  Abram  Hunsicker,  who  came  into  A.  J. 
Pelican's  office  with  an  appearance  of  tranquillity  which 
increased  Mr.  Pelican's  irritation. 

"  This  is  a  bad  job,  Hunsicker,"  he  said,  "  that  you 
have  set  up  in  the  town." 

"A  good  job,  Mr.  Pelican,  I  think." 

"  No ;  everybody  was  satisfied  and  happy  until  you 
came  here  to  make  trouble." 

"  That's  always  the  way.  The  oppressed  working- 
man  is  so  used  to  tyranny  that  he  never  knows  how 
the  yoke  galls  him  until  somebody  points  it  out.  That's 
what  I'm  for.  I'm  a  pointer-out." 

"  But,  what  has  Al  Potts  got  to  do  with  his  aunt  and 


THE   STRIKE.  193 

the  Chambermaids'  Union  ?  What  have  the  bricklayers 
got  to  do  with  Al  Potts  and  the  horse-cars  ?" 

"  Got  a  heap  to  do  with  them !  We  all  stand  to- 
gether against  the  tyranny  of  capital.  The  thing  runs 
away  back.  Before  you  can  lay  a  brick,  for  example, 
you've  got  to  be  squared  with  the  Clay-diggers'  Union, 
the  Brick-makers'  Union,  the  Lime-burners'  Union, 
the  Sand-loaders'  Union,  the  Water-pumpers'  Union, 
the  Mortar-mixers'  Union,  the  Hod-carriers'  Union, 
and  the  Bricklayers'  Union.  After  a  while  we'll  have 
it  fixed  so  you  can't  go  to  bed,  or  even  wash  your 
hands,  before  you've  got  in  touch  with  the  Chamber- 
maids' Union,  the  Cooks'  Union,  the  Dish-washers' 
Union,  the  Pillow-case-makers'  Union,  and  the  Toilet- 
soap  Union.  The  rights  of  labor  have  got  to  be  pro- 
tected all  along  the  line." 

A.  J.  Pelican  reflected  for  a  moment.     Then  he  said : 

"  Don't  you  think  that  the  unions  ought  to  see  to  it 
that  a  man  does  his  work  right  when  the  rights  of 
labor  have  been  protected  all  along  the  line  ?" 

"How  do  you  mean?" 

"Well,  in  half  the  buildings  I  am  putting  up  the 
window-frames  are  set  crooked,  and  in  all  of  them  the 
flues  have  been  choked  with  brick-bats.  Is  that  fair?" 

"  Oh,  that's  all  right,"  said  Hunsicker.  "  That  is  good 
for  the  poor  man.  It  makes  more  work,  and  that 
means  more  wages." 

A.  J.  Pelican  had  never  closely  considered  wage  and 
labor  questions,  and  his  interest  was  excited  by  this 
view  of  one  of  the  involved  matters. 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say,"  he  asked,  "  that  working- 
men  would  be  better  off  if  they  botched  every  job  they 
touched?" 

13 


I94  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Why,  certainly !"  responded  Hunsicker,  smiling  at 
the  ignorance  of  the  capitalist;  "because  if  every  job 
was  botched,  then  another  gang  of  workmen  would 
have  good  employment  taking  out  the  botches  and 
fixing  things." 

"  Suppose  the  second  lot  of  men  put  in  new  botches, 
instead  of  taking  out  the  old  ones  ?" 

"  Fine  !"  exclaimed  Hunsicker,  striking  the  table  with 
the  palm  of  his  hand.  "  That  would  make  still  more 
work." 

A.  J.  Pelican  meditated ;  then  he  said : 

"Why  not,  then,  arrange  that  as  soon  as  a  workman 
has  made  something — say  a  house — he  should  at  once 
take  it  all  to  pieces,  so  that  other  workmen  should 
make  it  all  over  again  ?" 

"  That  would  suit  us.  There  couldn't  be  too  much 
of  that  kind  of  thing." 

"But,  then,"  asked  A.  J.  Pelican,  "where  would  the 
employer  come  in  ?" 

"  Oh,  he  doesn't  count.  We  don't  mind  him.  He 
can-  take  care  of  himself." 

"  But  where  do  you  think  I  could  get  money  to  pay 
wages  with  if  I  paid  out  money  every  week  for  work 
that  was  never  finished,  and  so  could  never  bring  money 
in?" 

"  Why,  you'd  get  it  out  of  the  bank,  of  course.  And 
when  the  bank  ran  out,  you'd  get  it  out  of  mines  or 
something,  somewhere.  We  don't  care  where  you  get 
it.  That's  not  our  business.  That's  your  end  of  the 
thing.  All  we  want  is  that  you  shall  get  it  somehow 
or  other  and  pay  it  over  to  us.  We  only  ask  what  is 
reasonable." 

A.  J.  Pelican  afterward  confessed  to  me  that  this  way 


THE   STRIKE.  195 

of  looking  at  the  matter  was  so  startling  and  remark- 
able that,  for  a  few  moments,  his  head  was  not  perfectly 
clear  about  it. 

"  But,"  he  said  at  last,  "  what  if  capitalists  concluded 
to  refuse  to  go  on  paying  out  money  for  jobs  that  were 
never  completed  ?  Wouldn't  that  be  hard  for  the  poor 
workingman  ?" 

"  We'd  have  laws  passed  to  make  'em  go  on  doing 
it,"  exclaimed  Hunsicker.  "  That's  part  of  our  general 
plan." 

A.  J.  Pelican  wanted  time  to  think,  and  so  he  sent 
Hunsicker  away  with  the  request  that  the  whole  body 
of  strikers  should  formulate  their  demands  and  present 
them  to  him  next  morning. 

At  the  appointed  time  a  committee  of  four,  headed 
by  Abram  Hunsicker,  appeared  at  A.  J.  Pelican's  office 
and  handed  him  a  paper  containing  a  declaration  that 
the  strike  would  continue  all  along  the  line  until  three 
things  were  conceded : 

First. — Susan  Hovey  must  join  the  Chambermaids' 
Union,  or  Al  Potts  must  be  discharged. 
Second. — No  carting  of  any  kind  must  be  done  for 
the  Happy  Hollow  Improvement  Com- 
pany excepting  by  members  of  the 
Haulers'  and  Pullers'  Union,  and  this  in- 
cludes wheel-barrowing. 

Third. — Working  hours  must  be  reduced  to  eight  a 
day,  and  all  wages  advanced  ten  per  cent. 
These  demands  were  read  aloud  to  A.  J.  Pelican  by 
walking    delegate  Hunsicker;    and,  just    as    he    con- 
cluded and  was  handing  the  paper  to  the  capitalist, 
Thomas   Bolster,  a  bricklayer,  and  a  member  of  the 
committee,  stepped  forward  and  said : 


196  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Our  union  also  demands  that  you  shall  supply 
sponge-cake  for  lunch  three  times  a  week." 

A.  J.  Pelican  was  already  angry,  and  when  he  heard 
Thomas  Bolster's  request,  he  turned  upon  him  with 
some  fierceness  and  said : 

"  Don't  you  want  me  to  hire  a  man  to  play  the  piano 
for  you  at  your  lunch-hour  ?" 

"Add  that!"  exclaimed  Abram  Hunsicker,  stepping 
over  and  trying  to  take  the  paper  from  Mr.  Pelican's 
hand.  "  That's  a  good  suggestion.  Make  it  a  hand- 
organ  for  convenience,  and  we'll  accept  it  at  once !" 

A.  J.  Pelican  sat  by  his  table  and  read  and  re-read 
the  specifications  ;  and  as  he  read  and  reflected — as  the 
sense  of  injustice  pressed  more  strongly  upon  him — 
he  became  more  and  more  angry.  At  last,  springing 
to  his  feet,  he  dashed  his  new  curly  wig  violently  upon 
the  table  and  said : 

"  No,  I  won't  do  it !  Do  it !  I'll  see  Happy  Hollow 
bulged  up  from  the  bottom  and  made  into  a  mountain 
first!  Susan  Hovey,  and  the  sponge-cake,  and  the 
Chambermaids'  Union,  and  the  whole  cantankerous 
thing  can  go  hang ;  and  so  can  you  !" 

And  Pelican,  tearing  the  specifications  into  shreds, 
flung  them  on  the  floor,  dropped  into  his  chair,  put  on 
his  wig,  wheeled  around  with  his  back  to  the  commit- 
tee, lifted  his  feet  to  the  top  of  his  desk,  and  looked 
out  straight  through  the  back  window. 

Abram  Hunsicker  laughed  in  a  sardonic  manner  and 
said  : 

"  Come  along,  boys.     Now  we'll  tie  up  everything ;" 

and  so  the  committee  walked  out  of  Mr.  Pelican's  office. 

Abram  Hunsicker  fulfilled  his  promise.     He  tied  up 

everything  that   could  be  tied   up.     Operations  were 


THE   STRIKE.  197 

stopped  upon  the  street  pavement  and  the  Water  Works, 
as  well  as  upon  the  buildings. 

The  park  improvements  were  abandoned,  the  horse- 
cars  remained  in  the  shed ;  and  the  streets  were 
thronged  by  idle  men,  who  stood  about  and  sat  about 
looking  as  if  they  were  by  no  means  discontented  with 
the  conditions  prepared  for  them  by  the  walking  dele- 
gate. 

A.  J.  Pelican  tried  the  experiment  of  bringing  men 
up  from  the  city  and  from  the  neighboring  towns  to 
take  up  the  work;  but  the  strikers  always  met  the 
visitors  at  the  station  and  sent  them  back  upon  the  next 
train. 

Then  he  called  upon  Colonel  Bantam,  as  Mayor  of 
the  town,  to  give  him  protection  in  an  attempt  to  start 
the  street-cars;  but  the  Colonel,  keeping  himself  closely 
within  his  office,  pleaded  that  he  could  do  nothing 
with  one.  policeman.  To  some  of  us  it  really  seemed 
as  if  the  old  warrior  who  had  held  at  bay  the  Confed- 
erate legions  at  Gettysburg  had  an  odd  shyness  about 
facing  a  Happy  Hollow  mob. 

A.  J.  Pelican  then  put  into  the  Defender  an  adver- 
tisement calling  for  men  to  run  the  cars.  Two  brave 
fellows  responded,  and  one  of  the  cars  was  brought 
into  the  main  street  in  front  of  the  new  Opera  House. 
A  crowd  of  strikers  surrounded  it,  and  when  the 
driver  refused  to  leave  the  platform  they  pulled  him 
off,  carried  him  struggling  to  the  brook  and  ducked 
him  there. 

The  other  volunteer  was  discouraged  and  refused  to 
serve,  and  so  the  car  stood  in  the  street  through  the 
night. 

The  next  morning  Elmira  Bantam  came  that  way, 


198  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

with  her  soul  full  of  rage  at  the  unreasonableness  of 
the  strike  and  at  the  cowardice  of  the  men  of  the  town. 
After  looking  at  the  car  for  a  moment,  she  went  into 
A.  J.  Pelican's  office. 

Presently  Pelican  came  out,  warm  and  angry,  fol- 
lowed by  Elmira.  While  Pelican  went  around  to  the 
stable  for  the  horses,  Elmira  walked  over  to  the 
Mayor's  office.  As  Pelican  again  appeared,  driving 
the  harnessed  horses,  Elmira  emerged  from  the  police- 
station  with  'Lias  Guff,  and  the  two  bloodhounds  in 
leash,  walking  behind  her. 

The  mob  of  strikers  observed  Elmira's  movement 
with  curious  interest. 

While  A.  J.  Pelican  hitched  the  horses  to  the  car, 
Elmira,  with  the  air  of  a  general  marshaling  his  forces, 
placed  'Lias  Guff  and  the  bloodhounds  between  the 
tracks  just  in  front  of  the  horses.  Then  with  a  stern 
voice  she  ordered  him  to  draw  his  club. 

'Lias  Guff  did  so,  but  the  crimson  hue  of  his  cheeks 
was  turned  to  pink.  Plainly  he  was  scared ;  but  this 
may  have  been  because  the  bloodhounds  were  restless 
and  disagreeable.  However,  he  held  his  head  high 
and  looked  straight  to  the  front,  excepting  that  he 
leaned  over  for  a  moment  to  whisper  to  a  bystander: 

"  Duty  is  my  motter ;  and  Wigilance." 

When  the  horses  were  hitched  A.  J.  Pelican  stepped 
around  to  the  hind  end  of  the  car,  intending  to  act  as 
conductor.  With  stern  resolution  written  upon  her 
fine  face,  with  her  lips  firmly  set,  her  eyes  flashing,  her 
cheeks  flushed,  and  her  bonnet  somewhat  awry  be- 
cause of  her  unusual  exertion,  Elmira  Bantam  stepped 
upon  the  front  platform.  Taking  in  her  hand  the  lines, 
she  turned  to  the  great  crowd  about  the  car  and  said  : 


THE   STRIKE. 


199 


"  I  am  the  counsel  for  the  railway  company.  I  rep- 
resent law  and  order.  You  have  no  legal  or  moral 
right  to  interfere  with  the  company's  operations ;  and 
now  as  the  men  (the  cowards !)  are  all  afraid,  I  am 
going  to  show  you  that  this  car  will  run.  I  dare  any 
man  to  try  to  stop  it !" 

Then  Elmira  Bantam  said  to  'Lias  Guff: 

"Proceed,  officer!" 
and  taking  the  whip 
in  her  right  hand  she 
applied  it  to  the 
horses. 


"  Now  let  her  go  !" 

The  horses  tried  to  start,  but  they 
could  not  move  the  car.  Elmira  whip- 
ped them  again  ;  she  clucked  with  her 
tongue  and  made  a  kissing  sound  with 
her  pursed  lips  and  said  "  Get  up,"  but,  though  the 
horses  did  their  best,  the  car  would  not  move. 

Some  of  the  men  in  the  crowd  laughed  good- 
naturedly,  and  the  proceeding  seemed  to  be  regarded 
as  rather  a  fine  bit  of  fun. 

Elmira's  face  reddened.  She  turned  about,  and  look- 
ing through  the  car,  was  just  upon  the  point  of  asking 
A.  J.  Pelican  if  he  knew  what  was  the  matter,  when 
Abram  Hunsicker  stepped  upon  the  platform  and  said ; 


200  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  Excuse  me,  miss,  but  the  brake  is  set."  Thereupon 
he  released  the  brake,  twirling  the  handle  around  two 
or  three  times,  and  said  : 

"  Now  let  her  go  !" 

Somebody  shouted  "  Three  cheers  for  Miss  Bantam," 
and  the  crowd  cheered  and  laughed.  But  Elmira  set 
her  lips  more  firmly  and  looked  right  over  the  top  of 
'Lias  Guff's  helmet  as  the  horses  went  off  at  such  a 
pace  that  'Lias  and  the  dogs  had  to  move  along  quickly 
to  avoid  being  run  over.  The  crowd  cheered  and 
laughed  until  the  car  passed  the  turn  in  the  road  out 
by  Tulliver's  farm. 

'Lias  Guff  halted  at  the  edge  of  the  town,  but  Miss 
Bantam  and  A.  J.  Pelican  made  the  journey  clear  out 
to  Purgatory  Springs.  As  they  came  back  'Lias  Guff 
and  the  bloodhounds  escorted  them  through  Happy 
Hollow,  and  the  car  went  on  to  Grigsby's  Bluff,  return- 
ing finally  to  the  town ;  but  there  were  no  passengers. 

When  at  last  the  car  stopped  on  the  turnout  in 
Main  Street,  Elmira  threw  the  lines  over  the  brake- 
handle  and  said  to  A.  J.  Pelican : 

"  That  is  the  way  to  do  it !" 

"  Yes,  miss,  and  it  was  mighty  fine  and  bold  for  you 
to  undertake  it,  too  ;  but  they  wouldn't  let  a  man  run 
the  car.  It's  all  because  you're  a  woman." 

"  If  women  had  charge  of  everything  there'd  be  a 
good  deal  less  foolishness,"  answered  Elmira;  but, 
indeed,  she  said  afterward  that  her  courageous  action 
really  had  accomplished  nothing. 

Actually  nothing;  for  the  strikers  still  refused  to 
work,  and  nobody  could  be  found  to  run  the  cars  or  to 
take  the  places  made  vacant  in^  the  other  departments 
of  Happy  Hollow  industry. 


THE  STRIKE.  201 

In  the  Defender  Mr.  Spiker  mourned  day  by  day 
that  so  foul  a  blight  had  fallen  upon  so  fair  an  enter- 
prise as  that  which  promised  to  bring  prosperity  and 
greatness  to  Happy  Hollow.  In  his  soul  the  editor 
was  angry  and  impatient  with  the  workmen ;  but 
editors  must  be  careful ;  and  it  was  interesting  to 
observe  with  what  skill  Mr.  Spiker  contrived  to  plead 
the  cause  of  A.  J.  Pelican  and  the  Improvement  Com- 
pany while  appearing  as  the 'champion  of  the  working- 
man. 

"  It  is  impossible,"  he  urged,  "  to  exaggerate  the 
dignity  of  labor.  The  horny-handed  son  of  toil,  who 
eats  the  bread  of  honest  industry,  is  the  hope  and  the 
mainstay  of  the  country.  But  the  capitalist  also,  with 
his  keen  vision,  daring  cout£ge,  and  heaven-given  intel- 
lectual force,  is  equally  essential  to  the  welfare  of 
society.  The  interests  of  the  two  are,  in  truth,  identical. 
Capital  and  labor  go  hand  in  hand  to  bless  one  another 
and  the  human  race;  and  they  never  fail  to  work 
harmoniously  excepting  when  plotters  against  the  peace 
of  both  succeed  in  devising  nefarious  methods  of 
forcing  them  into  hostile  attitudes." 

Meantime,  Aunt  Susan  Hovey  became  in  a  large 
way  a  person  of  importance.  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  pleaded 
with  her  to  surrender  her  claim  to 'the  corresponding 
secretaryship  of  the  Chambermaids'  Union  and  to  con- 
sent to  become  a  mere  member.  A.  J.  Pelican  had 
four  interviews  with  her,  and  four  with  President  Mary 
Jane  Delaney,  in  whose  soul  still  lingered  some  of  the 
bitterness  engendered  by  Aunt  Susan  Hovey's  ungener- 
ous reference  to  her  bonnet.  Dr.  Fury  called  at  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde's  and  talked  the  matter  over  fully  with 
Aunt  Susan  Hovey,  representing  that  she  owed  a 


202  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

•sacred  obligation  to  her  fellow-creatures,  who  suffered 
because  of  her  stubbornness. 

Elmira  Bantam  had  a  warm  argument  with  her,  and 
Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  thought  had  swung  Aunt  Susan 
Hovey  around  on  the  wrong  side  just  as  she  was 
beginning  to  be  swayed  toward  the  right  side.  Even 
Abram  Hunsicker  undertook  to  discuss  the  case  with 
her,  and  the  talk  among  some  of  the  people  was  that 
Aunt  Susan  Hovey's  personal  charm  had  been  borne 
in  upon  Abram  Hunsicker's  mind  to  such  an  extent 
that  he  was  getting  to  call  upon  her  too  often,  unless 
his  intentions  were  of  a  serious  nature. 

Whether  it  was  the  reasoning  or  the  entreaty  of  her 
friends  and  advisers,  or  the  influence  of  Abram  Hun- 
sicker's ardent  manner,  the  fact  was  that  one  day  all 
Happy  Hollow  was  thrilled  with  joy  by  the  announce- 
ment in  the  Defender  that  Aunt  Susan  Hovey  had  at 
last  made  up  her  mind  to  become  an  ordinary  member 
of  the  Chambermaids'  Union. 

The  sun  seemed  to  shine  brighter  on  that  morning. 
All  the  people  regained  their  cheerfulness.  The  work- 
men appeared  in  the  streets  in  their  overalls.  The 
horse-cars  were  brought  out  and  brushed  up.  The 
Defender  had  an  exultant  editorial  explaining  that 
Happy  Hollow  would  now  indeed  fulfil  its  destiny. 
A.  J.  Pelican  began  to  fly  about  the  town  again  with 
the  jingling  harness  and  the  brilliant  carriage ;  and  all 
the  storekeepers  smiled  and  greeted  their  customers 
joyously. 

It  was  indeed  strange  that  Aunt  Susan  Hovey's  mind 
was  not  lifted  up  to  vanity  when  she  saw  how  much 
had  depended  upon  her  willingness  to  change  it  or  not 
to  change  it, 


THE   STRIKE.  203 

But  before  two  days  had  passed  gloom  again  fell 
upon  and  enveloped  Happy  Hollow,  for  the  announce- 
ment was  made  by  President  Mary  Jane  Delaney,  who 
seemed  to  have  an  element  of  malignancy  in  her  com- 
position, that  the  Chambermaids'  Union,  at  a  special 
meeting,  had  peremptorily  refused  Aunt  Susan  Hovey's 
application  for  membership.  Despair  came  into  the 
hearts  of  A.  J.  Pelican  and  Emerson  Spiker.  The 
workmen  removed  their  overalls  and  resumed  their 
pipes  and  their  gossip  under  the  trees.  The  horse-cars 
were  put  back  into  the  sheds ;  and  despondency  was 
stamped  upon  the  countenances  of  the  storekeepers. 

"  What's  the  matter  with  the  Chambermaids'  Union 
that  they  won't  let  her  in  ?"  inquired  A.  J.  Pelican  im- 
patiently of  Abram  Hunsicker,  whom  he  had  sum- 
moned to  his  office. 

"  Why,  you  see,"  said  Abram  Hunsicker,  embracing 
his  knee  with  his  interlocked  fingers,  "  President  Mary 
Jane  Delaney  says  that  the  by-laws  forbid  anyone  to 
become  a  member  who  can't  repeat  in  the  right  way 
the  union's  motto." 

"  What  is  the  union's  motto  ?" 

"  Sweetness  and  Sincerity." 

"  Very  well,  can't  Susan  Hovey  say  it  ?  What's  the 
reason  she  can't  say  it  ?" 

"  She  lisps,"  answered  Abram  Hunsicker. 

"  Lisps  !     What's  that  got  to  do  with  it  ?" 

"Why,  she  says  '  thweetneth  and  thintherity,'  and 
President  Mary  Jane  Delaney  declares  that  thweetneth 
and  thintherity  won't  go  in  the  Chambermaids'  Union 
while  she's  president.  Women  are  queer,  ain't  they?" 

A.  J.  Pelican  did  not  even  try  to  express  his  disgust; 
in  words,  at  any  rate.  But  he  banged  his  wig  on  the 


204  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

table,  and  kicked  over  two  chairs  and  got  up  and 
walked  about  the  room.  At  last,  pausing  in  front  of 
Abram  Hunsicker  and  shaking  a  forefinger  at  the 
walking  delegate,  he  said  : 

"  It's  come  to  this,  then :  All  the  great  enterprises 
in  this  town,  involving  millions  of  dollars,  have  got  to 
stop,  and  the  whole  thing  is  to  begin  to  go  to  ruin 
because  Susan  Hovey  can't  say  '  sweetness  and  sin- 
cerity '  as  I  say  it.  Is  that  so  ?" 

"  It's  just  about  that  way.  That's  the  whole  of  it," 
answered  Abram  Hunsicker. 

A.  J.  Pelican  forcibly  restrained  his  temper.  He 
simply  said : 

"  Pretty  rough,  isn't  it  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  dunno,"  responded  Hunsicker.  "  The  rights 
of  labor  have  to  be  maintained.  We  want  nothing  un- 
reasonable." 

"  You  won't  call  the  strike  off,  then  ?" 

"  Can't  do  it,  Mr.  Pelican.  The  men  would  disown 
me." 

"  Can  you  do  nothing  at  all  ?" 

"  Not  till  you  give  in  about  Al  Potts,  or  President 
Mary  Jane  Delaney  gives  in  about  Aunt  Susan  Hovey." 

"  Could  you  bribe  the  Delaney  woman,  do  you  sup- 
pose ?" 

"  I'll  never  help  any  capitalist  to  corrupt  an  honest 
laborer,  never!"  said  Abram  Hunsicker  firmly. 

"Will  you  call  the  strike  off  if  I  give  Al  Potts 
another  job  somewhere  else  ?" 

"  No ;  not  unless  his  aunt  squares  herself  with  Pres- 
ident Mary  Jane  Delaney  and  the  Chambermaids' 
Union.  The  men  are  dead  set  against  Al." 

A.  J.   Pelican   resumed   his  seat  and  permitted  his 


THE  STRIKE.  205 

mind  to  work  with  the  problem  thus  presented  to  him. 
Finally  he  said  to  Abram  Hunsicker : 

"  What  do  you  say  to  arbitration  ?  I've  heard  a 
good  deal  about  it.  I  haven't  much  faith  in  it ;  but  it 
might  be  tried." 

"  I  don't  mind  it,"  said  Abram  Hunsicker,  "  if  you'll 
let  us  pick  out  the  arbitrators.  That's  all  we  ask. 
We're  disposed  to  be  perfectly  reasonable." 

"Well,  maybe  we  can. agree  on  just  one.  Who  do 
you  think  of?" 

"  I'll  step  over  and  consult  with  the  committee  about 
it,"  said  the  walking  delegate. 

In  two  hours  it  had  been  arranged  that  Rev.  Dr. 
Love,  the  Presbyterian  minister,  widely  known  for  his 
services  to  the  poor,  should  act  as  arbitrator ;  and  Peli- 
can and  the  committee  signed  an  agreement  to  accept 
his  decision. 

Dr.  Love  consented  to  act,  and  for  two  days  he  was 
engaged  in  hearing  testimony  from  the  workmen,  from 
Aunt  Susan  Hovey,  President  Mary  Jane  Delaney,  Al 
Potts,  Elmira  Bantam,  A.  J.  Pelican,  Thomas  Bolster, 
and  everybody  else  who  had  anything  to  say. 

Two  days  later  the  doctor  made  his  decision,  a  part 
of  which  was  thought  by  some  persons  to  have  been 
framed  after  consultation  with  Abram  Hunsicker.  The 
decision  was  as  follows  : 

1.  A.  J.  Pelican  to  yield  in  the  trifling  matter  of 
sponge-cake  three   times   a  week  for  lunch;   but  the 
arbitrator  urges  the  workmen  to  surrender  this  privi- 
lege upon  the  ground  of  the  indigestibility  of  the  cake 
as  commonly  prepared. 

2.  Al  Potts  to  be  promoted  to  conductor's  place  on 
the  car-line  when  he  pays  all  back  dues.     This  promo- 


206  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

tion  being  in  consideration  of  the  arrangement  pro- 
vided for  in  the  fifth  section,  below. 

3.  President  Mary  Jane  Delaney  to  accept  Susan 
Hovey's  apology  for  the  unfortunate  reference  made 
long  ago  to  an  article  of  apparel ;  and  the  by-law  re- 
ferring to  the  pronunciation  of  the  motto  of  the  Cham- 
bermaids' Union  to  be  temporarily  suspended  so  that 
Susan  Hovey  may  be  elected  to  membership. 

4.  The  hours  of  labor  to  be  reduced  to  eight,  with  a 
reduction  of  five  per  cent,  in  all  wages,  or  to  remain  at 
ten  hours  a  day  with  an  increase  of  five  per  cent.     All 
transportation  of  materials,  of  every  kind,  to  be  done 
by  members  of  the  Haulers'  and  Pullers'  Union. 

5.  Susan   Hovey  to  marry  Abram  Hunsicker,  the 
walking  delegate  of  the  Car  Laborers'  Union,  if  Susan 
Hovey  is  willing  so  to  do ;  thus  securing  her  interest 
in,  and  identification  with,  the  sacred  cause  of  the  poor 
workingman. 

The  decision  made  by  Dr.  Love  ended  the  strike. 
A.  J.  Pelican  yielded  everything,  promising  sponge- 
cake three  times  a  week  and  ice-cream  once  a  month. 
Albert  Potts  became  a  conductor  upon  the  street-car 
line.  His  Aunt  Susan  Hovey  apologized  to  President 
Mary  Jane  Delaney,  throwing  her  arms  around  Mary 
Jane's  neck  and  asking  her  to  be  first  bridesmaid  at 
her  wedding  with  Abram  Hunsicker,  who  was  accepted 
by  Aunt  Susan  without  a  murmur. 

Thus  the  great  strike  in  Happy  Hollow  was  ended, 
and  A.  J.  Pelican  began  again  to  urge  the  little  town 
toward  better  things. 


HOLLOW  had  no  bank,  nor  seemed  to 
need  one,  until  Mr.  Pelican  came  to 
bring  prosperity  in  a  flood;  but  when  the  bank  of 
Happy  Hollow,  with  A.  J.  Pelican  for  its  president, 
opened  its  doors  in  the  late  springtime,  there  was  token 
enough  that  the  bank  was  wanted.  The  money  that 
had  followed  the  president  into  the  town  followed  him 
into  the  bank,  and  soon  there  was  a  long  list  of  de- 
positors and  a  mighty  sum  of  deposits. 

It  was  a  grief  to  Colonel  Bantam  that  he  could  not 
open  a  personal  account  in  the  bank  ;  but  there  was  a 
degree  of  solace  in  the  fact  that  he  owned  blocks  of 
the  stock  of  the  Improvement  Company,  which  was 
the  largest  depositor.  And  thus  also  there  was  a  kind 
of  warrant  for  his  practice  of  speaking  of  the  institu- 
tion as  "  my  bank." 

The  Colonel  had  hoped  to  be  chosen  for  the  cashier's 
position,  and  had  urged  his  claim  upon  A.  J.  Pelican 
and  the  directors ;  but  without  success. 

207 


208  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

For  the  Colonel  and  for  me  and  for  the  other  mem- 
bers of  our  household  life  went  along  in  the  old  smooth 
way,  while  the  great  capitalist  did  great  things  with  his 
various  enterprises,  and  Happy  Hollow  prepared  for 
the  summertime  when  the  Sanitarium  and  the  Ara- 
mink  House  should  greet  their  first  guests,  and  the 
lovely  Aramink  Lake  should  be  covered  with  pleasure- 
boats. 

Julie  Mortimer  had  formed  a  friendship  with  Mrs. 
Bulfinch,  and  often  went  to  the  little  house  to  tarry 
with  her.  Julie  told  me  she  had  seen  Simon  Bulfinch 
there  more  than  once  ;  and  she  told  Mrs.  Bantam,  who 
related  the  fact  to  me,  that  she  had  seen  Mrs.  Bulfinch 
kiss  her  husband's  picture  and  cry  over  it.  Surely  the 
most  wonderful  thing  in  all  the  world  is  the  faithfulness 
of  woman  to  her  love  for  that  which  has  become  un- 
worthy. 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  also,  was  fond  of  Julie's  society; 
and  to  the  grand  house  the  fair  woman  went  sometimes 
from  the  forsaken  woman's  house,  to  be  entertained 
and  admired  and  petted  as  her  lovely  person,  her  gra- 
cious character,  and  her  remarkable  gifts  entitled  her 
to  be. 

Far  up  in  the  Alleghany  Mountains,  at  Hawksmere, 
Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  had  a  cottage,  and  long  before  the 
summer  came  she  had  invited  Julie  and  Ruby  to  come 
with  her  there  to  be  her  guests  for  a  few  weeks.  And 
when  I  learned  of  this  I  secretly  resolved  that  I  should 
find, refuge  in  one  of  the  excellent  hotels  at  Hawks- 
mere  during  part  of  my  vacation. 

After  the  ending  of  the  great  strike  Happy  Hollow 
would  have  had  peace  but  for  the  occurrence  of  several 
daring  and  alarming  burglaries.  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's 


TROUBLE   IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW.       209 

house  had  been  robbed ;  Dr.  Fury's  residence  had 
been  broken  open,  and  several  of  the  stores  had  been 
plundered.  Every  one  was  uneasy  and  afraid,  but  no 
measures  were  taken  to  enlarge  the  police  force  or  to 
discover  the  thieves.  'Lias  Guff  could  not  watch  at 
night  and  do  police-duty  in  the  daytime,  and  the 
Council  was  not  ready  to  give  him  a  co-laborer. 

Just  after  the  robbery  of  one  of  the  stores,  the  pro- 
prietor, co-operating  with  A.  J.  Pelican,  obtained  the 
services  of  a  detective  from  the  city.  This  officer,  upon 
learning  that  there  were  two  bloodhounds  in  the  town, 
conceived  the  notion  of  employing  them  to  trail  the 
robbers. 

They  were  taken  to  the  store,  and  when  it  was  sup- 
posed that  they  had  obtained  the  right  scent,  they  led 
the  way  out  into  the  street.  The  detective  and  the  store- 
keeper followed  them  with  some  eagerness,  as  they 
went  hither  and  thither,  until  at  last  they  burst  through 
the  gate  of  Colonel  Bantam's  garden,  and  discovering 
him  upon  the  sideporch,  tried  to  leap  upon  him. 

The  Colonel  was  both  astonished  and  alarmed ;  but 
when  the  purpose  for  which  the  dogs  were  employed 
was  explained  to  him  he  lost  his  temper. 

"  An  outrage  of  the  first  magnitude,"  he  said,  "  to 
permit  an  accursed  beast  with  misleading  instincts  to 
attempt  to  place  the  odium  of  crime  upon  an  old 
soldier  of  the  Republic  and  the  executive  head  of  the 
municipality !" 

The  detective  apologized,  and  added  force  to  his 
words  by  expressing  the  opinion  that  the  dogs,  any- 
how, were  not  bloodhounds. 

In  truth,  Mr.  Spiker's  bloodhounds  began  to  be  re- 
garded with  diminished  favor  in  Happy  Hollow,  and 
14 


210  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

the  feeling  against  them  became  really  bitter  upon  the 
part  of  some  people  when  one  morning,  in  front  of  the 
rectory,  they  encountered  and  slew  Rev.  Dr.  Fury's 
dog  that  discriminated  in  so  wonderful  a  manner  in 
favor  of  Episcopalians.  In  trying  to  part  the  com- 
batants the  doctor  was  bitten  upon  the  hand. 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  did  not  hide  her  anger. 

"  It  is  disgraceful !"  she  said  to  Mrs.  Bantam.  "  If 
these  horrid  animals  must  follow  the  impulses  of  their 
bloodthirsty  natures,  why  should  they  select  as  their 
victim  a  member  of  the  sacred  ministry  ?  Why  not  bite 
some  of  the  denominations  that  are  around  us  ?" 

At  last  arrangements  were  made  that  the  burglary 
matter  should  be  dealt  with  by  relieving  'Lias  Guff 
from  duty  in  the  "daytime  and  requiring  him  to  patrol 
the  streets  at  night. 

This  was  satisfying  to  the  householders,  but  'Lias 
Guff  regarded  the  plan  with  disfavor.  He  said  to  me 
plainly  that  he  did  not  like  to  go  about  at  night,  and 
for  one  thing,  he  had  always  thought  he  should  hate 
to  encounter  ghosts. 

"  Do  you  know  how  you  can  tell  a  ghost,  Mr. 
Sprat  ?"  he  asked  as  we  talked  of  the  matter. 

"  No." 

"  Why,  a  real  ghost  never  casts  no  shadder.  That's 
the  way  to  tell  'em,  and  that's  the  reason  they  go 
around  at  night  when  shadders  is  scarce." 

But  'Lias  Guff  had  Duty  for  his  motto,  and  when 
nocturnal  service  was  required  of  him  he  did  not  flinch. 
That  he  was  faithful  to  his  duty  seemed  to  be  demon- 
strated by  his  adventure  with  Mrs.  Meeker,  the  wife  of 
the  Baptist  pastor. 

'Lias  Guff,  coming  near  to  Mrs.  Meeker's  house  late 


TROUBLE   IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW.       211 

at  night,  perceived  a  person  upon  the  roof  of  the  front 
porch.  Without  waiting  to  ask  questions,  the  police- 
man fired  at  the  figure  twice  and  was  answered  by  a 
woman's  screams.  Upon  inquiry  he  found  that  the 
person  at  whom  he  had  shot  was  Mrs.  Meeker,  and  by 
the  time  this  fact  had  been  disclosed  half  the  people  in 
the  neighborhood  were  in  the  street. 

Mrs.  Meeker  was  sitting  upon  the  porch-roof  sob- 
bing, and  in  response  to  repeated  questions  she  related 
in  a  broken  voice  that  her  husband  was  away  from 
home  and  that,  after  retiring,  she  heard  a  mouse  in  her 
room.  In  alarm,  she  had  crept  through  the  window 
to  the  porch-roof,  and  the  shutter  had  then  blown  shut 
and  locked  itself  upon  the  inside. 

Some  one  brought  a  ladder,  and  'Lias  GufT  began  to 
ascend  it  with  the  gallant  purpose  to  bring  Mrs.  Meeker 
down.  But  she  would  not  have  it. 

"  Do  not  come  up  here,  officer,"  she  said.  "  Do  not 
dare  to  come  up  here." 

"  Why  not,  ma'am  ?     You  can't  stay  there  all  night." 

"  No,  but  I  want  you  all  to  go  away  except  Mrs. 
Brown,  and  I'll  come  down  by  myself." 

This  request  was  acceded  to,  and  Mrs.  Brown  received 
the  unfortunate  woman  at  the  foot  of  the  ladder  and 
took  her  home  for  the  remainder  of  the  night. 

It  appeared  that  Mrs.  Meeker,  rising  and  wishing  to 
leave  the  room  in  haste,  had  put  on  Mr.  Meeker's 
pajamas  and  a  pair  of  gum  overshoes,  and  not  unnat- 
urally she  wished  to  have  as  few  spectators  as  possible 
when  she  reached  the  ground. 

These  are  but  trivial  incidents  of  the  life  of  a  little 
town,  and  they  are  recorded  chiefly  because  the  bur- 
glaries and  the  excitement  created  by  them  have  direct 


212  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

bearing,  as  will  be  seen,  upon  some  of  the  personages 
in  this  narrative. 

But,  after  all,  the  great  events  in  town  or  city  are  of 
rare  occurrence.  Life  everywhere  is  upon  the  whole 
a  matter  of  small  happenings  and  of  things  that  seem 
unimportant.  Thus,  if  we  are  to  tell  at  all  of  Happy 
Hollow,  why  should  we  pass  by  in  silence  the  storm 
that  arose  in  the  village  from  that  discussion  between 
Dr.  Fury  and  Dr.  Bulfinch,  at  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's 
soiree,  concerning  the  authorship  of  Deuteronomy  ? 

The  sentiment  of  the  people  was  divided  along  de- 
nominational lines,  and  the  feeling  that  was  warm  when 
the  controversy  began,  became  hot  when  the  different 
ministers  had  preached  vigorously  upon  the  subject. 

Dr.  Fury's  view  was  that  Deuteronomy  was  written 
by  some  unknown  person  long  after  the  time  of  Moses. 

Dr.  Love,  of  the  Presbyterian  Church,  held  with  Dr. 
Bulfinch,  who  was  one  of  his  deacons,  that  the  book 
was  actually  written  by  Moses. 

Rev.  Wm.  Meeker,  the  Baptist  minister,  believed 
that  Deuteronomy  was  the  oldest  of  the  five  books, 
the  rest  of  the  Pentateuch  having  been  derived  from  it. 

Rev.  Jason  Hole,  the  Methodist,  was  neutral,  not 
caring  to  commit  himself. 

The  members  of  the  various  congregations  followed 
their  ministers,  and  the  more  they  talked  about  the 
subject  the  more  angry  they  were,  until  there  was 
danger  that  all  social  and  business  relations  in  Happy 
Hollow  would  be  made  difficult  because  of  the  bitter- 
ness of  the  people. 

Colonel  Bantam  would  not  range  himself  with  any 
of  the  parties.  To  me  in  private  he  declared  that 
"The  whole  thing  is  humbug;"  but  whether  this  was 


TROUBLE   IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW.      213 

a  reference  to  the  dispute  among  the  people  or  to  the 
book  of  Deuteronomy  remains  concealed. 

The  views 'of  Felix  Acorn,  though  unimportant, 
were  pronounced. 

"  There  never  was  no  Moses,  nor  no  ark  made  of 
bulrushes.  I  put  it  to  you,  sir,"  he  said,  as  he  pre- 
pared to  shave  me,  "would  a  king's  daughter  go 
a-swimming  in  a  river  and  picking  up  and  carrying 
home  stray  babies?  Now,  would  sech  a  woman  do 
that  ?  They're  trying  to  impose  on  us.  You  don't 
believe,  sir,  do  you,  that  them  Israelites  walked  through 
the  Red  Sea  on  dry  land  ?  Never !  And  the  sea  ain't 
red,  neither.  The  Bible  ain't  true,  and  I  can  prove  it." 

"  How  can  you  prove  it  ?" 

"  Why,  sir,  from  cover  to  cover,  it  never  mentions 
cats  once.  Not  once.  Mentions  all  kinds  of  other 
animals,  but  skips  cats.  Now,  sir,  we  know  there  was 
cats  in  them  days.  We  know  it  positive,  because 
they've  dug  out  thousands  of  cat-mummies  of  the 
Bible  times,  and  if  that  book  was  true  would  it  have 
named  all  the  other  things  that  walks  on  four  legs  and 
forgot  about  cats  ?  No,  it  wouldn't ;  and  there's  the 
way  we  see  we're  being  imposed  on. 

"The  same  with  other  things.  No  whale  never 
swallered  no  Jonah;  and  Joseph's  coat  hadn't  many 
colors ;  and  there  wa'n't  no  flood  and  no  animals  in 
the  ark.  There  wa'n't  no  ark.  And  there  never  was 
no  Jupiter,  or  Nepture,  or  none  of  them  people,  and 
Columbus  never  discovered  no  America." 

"  You  reject  everything  then  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  everything,  or  pretty  near  everything. 
You  don't  believe  in  Santa  Claus  ?  No,  sir,  I  knowed 
you  didn't.  It's  cruel  to  impose  on  children  that  way. 


214 


IN   HAPPY  HOLLOW. 


And  this  thing  about  the  phoenix  rising  from  its  ashes. 
No  burnt  bird  never  rose  from  no  ashes,  now  did  it? 
And  Croesus  wa'n't  so  very  rich ;  if  ever  there  was  a 
Croesus ;  and  my  opinion  is  that  there  wa'n't. 

"And  the  talk  about  a  man  having  a  soul,"  con- 
tinued Felix.  "  There  ain't  no  soul.  A  man's  made 
of  four  elements  :  earth  and  air  and  fire  and  water ; 
and  he  has  luck  or  no  luck  just  as  the  planets  happen 
to  strike  him ;  and  when  he  lets  go  and  dies,  his  ele- 
ments is  just  swallered  up  and  that's  the  end  of  him. 
I  don't  even  believe  in  microbes." 

One  afternoon  as  I  walked  in  front  of  the  Pelican 


"  I  say  he  did  write  it." 

Arcade  I  saw  Cossack  the  grocer  and 
Brindle  the  druggist  talking  together 
upon  the  sidewalk  and  violently  gesticulating.  As  I 
came  near  they  grappled,  and  for  a  moment  or  two 
there  was  a  vigorous  combat ;  but  I  seized  Cossack  and 
pulled  him  away,  while  'Lias  Guff  held  Brindle  fast. 
Cossack  hardly  noticed  me,  but  struggling  to  free  him- 
self that  he  might  fly  at  Brindle,  at  last  he  extended  his 
arm,  and  shaking  his  fist  at  the  druggist,  he  exclaimed  : 
"  I  say  he  did  write  it." 


TROUBLE   IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW.       215 

"And  I  say  he  didn't!"  shouted  Brindle  in  reply. 

Then  Cossack  made  a  more  violent  effort  to  free 
himself,  but  I  held  him  fast  while  'Lias  Guff  led  Brindle 
away  toward  his  drug-store. 

Then  Cossack,  pulling  down  his  waistcoat  and  setting 
his  hat  on  straight,  looked  at  me  to  see  who  it  was 
that  had  restrained  him,  and  then  turned  to  go  up  the 
street. 

"  Who  wrote  what  ?"  I  ventured  to  ask. 

"  Moses  ;  Deuteronomy,"  he  answered,  rather  sulkily. 
"  I'll  teach  that  Episcopalian  drug-person  that  he  can't 
cram  any  of  his  heresy  down  the  throat  of  an  orthodox 
Presbyterian  like  me." 

As  for  Dr.  Bulfinch,  he  was  not  only  indignant  but 
alarmed  that  notions  about  the  Scriptures  which  he 
regarded  as  wholly  wrong  should  have  such  wide 
circulation  among  the  people  and  be  sanctioned  by  the 
pulpit 

He  happened  to  overhear  one  of  his  boys,  Thomas 
Bowser,  speaking  in  a  light  way  to  another  boy  about 
the  authorship  of  Deuteronomy,  and  that  very  after- 
noon Thomas  Bowser  found  his  way  to  the  Doctor's 
study,  and  was  urged  by  a  vigorous  application  of  the 
rod  to  acquire  new  views  of  the  authenticity  of  that 
portion  of  the  Scripture. 

"  The  poison,"  said  the  Doctor  to  me,  warmly,  "  in- 
fects even  the  young.  The  very  babes  in  arms  after 
a  while  will  have  their  minds  warped  about  the  Penta- 
teuch." 

I  did  not  smile,  but  it  seemed  an  odd  fancy  that  the 
little  ones  who  had  not  begun  teething  and  were  still 
happy  in  brandishing  rattles,  perhaps,  should  be  in 
peril  of  having  erroneous  opinions  upon  this  subject. 


216  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

The  editor  of  the  Defender,  as  usual,  steered  a 
middle  course.  He  referred  to  the  subject  in  several 
of  those  dexterous  editorials  in  which  one  thought  he 

o 

could  discern  an  expression  of  opinion,  but  which  left 
one  in  complete  doubt  as  to  what  the  writer  really 
believed. 

Mr.  Spiker  was  vexed  about  the  whole  controversy. 
In  his  office  one  day  he  said  to  me : 

"  It's  a  shame,  Sprat,  to  have  the  town  all  gone  wild 
about  Deuteronomy.  I  hate  these  theological  ques- 
tions. Now,  tell  me,  Sprat,  what  possible  difference 
can  it  make  to  Cossack,  bustling  about  among  ham 
and  crackers,  or  to  Brindle,  when  he  stirs  up  soda- 
water  or  measures  out  ipecac,  who  wrote  Deuteronomy  ? 
Here  you  have  everybody  in  a  jangle  over  Moses — an 
absolutely  dead  issue ;  and  I'll  bet  you  half  of  them 
believe  the  Golden  Rule  is  some  kind  of  a  thing  to 
measure  feet  and  inches.  If  heaven  is  shut  against  a 
man  who  believes  wrong  about  Deuteronomy  most  of 
us  are  lost  any  way ;  and,  if  it  isn't,  then  I  say  drop  the 
subject  and  stop  fretting,  and  try  to  be  honest,  and  pay 
your  bills — your  subscription  bills,  anyhow." 

Inevitably,  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  interest  in  the  con- 
troversy was  eager,  and  her  opinions  were  those  of  Dr. 
Fury. 

"  Dr.  Fury  must  be  sound,"  she  said  to  me,  "  because 
he  gets  his  information  about  it  from  the  Fathers." 

"  How  did  they  know?"  I  ventured  to  ask. 

"  How  did  the  Fathers  know,  do  you  mean  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Why,  they  had  tradition  ;  and  they  knew  old  men 
who  had  known  other  old  men,  who  had  known  other 
still  older  men,  who  had  known  very  much  older  men, 


TROUBLE   IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW.       217 

who — ;  but  you  understand  what  I  mean — ;  a  beau- 
tiful, unbroken  chain,  just  like  the  Apostolical  Succes- 
sion, only  going  away  back  until  you  come  to  very, 
very,  very  much  older  men  who  were  personally  ac- 
quainted with  Moses.  That's  the  way  we  know  it.  We 
lean  on  the  Fathers.  Dr.  Fury  leans  on  the  Fathers.  I 
lean  on  them.  The  Historic  Episcopate  leans  on  them." 

A  part  of  the  blessing  of  the  peacemakers  surely  is 
that,  by  keeping  the  peace  for  themselves,  they  never 
acquire  that  habit  of  pugnacity  and  that  heating  of  the 
blood  which  impels  to  contentiousness.  Thus  the  spirit 
of  strife  having  been  awakened  in  some  of  the  really 
good  Christian  people  of  Happy  Hollow  by  a  con- 
troversy which  ended  in  eadh  person  holding  fast  to  his 
original  opinions,  it  was  almost  inevitable  that  there 
should  be  further  strife  concerning  another  matter. 

Mrs.  'Lias  Guff  worshiped  in  the  Presbyterian 
Church,  and  her  worship  had  some  of  the  characteris- 
tics of  fervor.  Mrs.  Guff  was  a  very  small  woman  with 
a  very  large  voice.  As  her  husband's  voice  had  dimin- 
ished to  mere  unsonorous  huskiness,  there  was  a  theory 
that  Mrs.  Guff,  by  some  means,  had  superimposed  his 
voice  upon  hers ;  and  really  it  was  surprising  that  a 
woman  with  so  diminutive  a  body  should  have  the 
ability  to  produce  tones  of  such  volume  and  depth. 
Mrs.  Guff  did  not  come  far  short  of  the  power  to  sing 
bass — a  power  which  has  always  been  supposed  beyond 
reach  of  any  member  of  her  sex. 

It  was  a  matter  of  complaint  among  the  other  wor- 
shipers that  Mrs.  Guff  always  sang  fortissimo  and 
always  sang  Balerma,  no  matter  what  was  the  metre 
of  the  hymn.  Balerma,  at  the  best,  when  it  fits  with 
precision  the  measure  of  the  sacred  song,  is  not  a  soul- 


218  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

elevating  tune.  Balerma  is  in  a  degree  melodious,  but 
it  is  jerky.  It  is  built  upon  the  iambical  plan ;  that  is 
to  say,  it  has  one  short  foot  or  note,  and  then  one  long 
note  ;  so  that  when  you  sing  it  you  give  the  impression 
that  you  are  trying  to  catch  your  breath  between  two 
long  notes.  Or  perhaps  the  construction  and  operation 
of  Balerma  may  better  be  indicated  if  we  say  that  there 
is  a  short  hop,  a  long  jump,  a  short  hop,  and  then 
another  long  jump.  It  may  be  inferred,  therefore,  that 
Balerma  lacks  smoothness ;  Balerma  does  not  glide  ; 
Balerma  is  impetuous  and  fidgety,  and  to  persons  who 
love  flowing  music,  irritating. 

Unfortunately  Mrs.  Guff's  natural  musical  gifts  were 
out  of  all  proportion  to  the  volume  of  her  voice,  and 
she  had  had  almost  no  chance  at  all  to  enlarge  her 
powers  by  culture.  But  Mrs.  Guff,  in  the  ductile 
period  of  childhood,  while  she  attended  Sunday-school, 
had  succeeded  in  obtaining  a  firm  grasp  of  Balerma, 
and  had  trained  her  vocal  cords  to  reproduce  it.  It 
was  her  one  tune,  without  which  Mrs.  Guff  would 
either  have  been  condemned  to  silence  or  to  discord,  so 
far  as  the  service  of  praise  in  the  sanctuary  was  con- 
cerned. 

And  Mrs.  Guff  was  not  the  kind  of  woman  to  keep 
her  single  talent  wrapped  (if  metaphor  may  be  strained 
to  express  the  fact)  in  a  napkin.  Whether  the  hymn 
called  for  from  the  pulpit  by  Dr.  Love  were  long  metre, 
short  metre,  sevens-and-sixes,  eights,  elevens,  or  a 
compound  of  these  and  other  figures,  Mrs.  Guff  always 
sang  it  to  Balerma,  and  she  sang  it  vociferously,  with 
all  her  stops  out  and  the  wind-pressure  up  to  its  limit. 
She  never  sang  without  being  in  earnest ;  she  never 
skipped  any  verse  that  Dr.  Love  asked  to  have  omitted; 


TROUBLE   IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW.       219 

she  never  had  a  cold ;  she  never  failed  to  come  to 
church ;  and  she  always  had  a  notion  that  both  Dr. 
Love  and  the  congregation  admired  her  singing. 

Indeed,  Dr.  Love  and  the  members  of  his  flock  had 
been  long-suffering  and  patient  with  Mrs.  Guff.  They 
recognized  with  pleasure  the  intensity  of  her  enthusi- 
asm ;  they  shrank  from  wounding  her  feelings ;  they 
could  not  bear  to  ask  her  to  try  to  reduce  her  voice  to 
piano,  if  not  to  pianissimo,  even  if  such  reduction  had 
been  possible.  They  persuaded  her  to  move  to  a  pew 
in  the  rear  of  the  church ;  then  they  shifted  her  into 
the  gallery;,  then  they  put  her  up  near  to  the  sixteen- 
feet  pedal  pipe  of  the  organ  ;  but  wherever  she  sat  Mrs. 
Guff's  interpretation  of  Balerma  overswept  and  flooded 
and  submerged  everything  of  a  sonorous  nature  in  the 
church. 

Finally,  at  a  meeting  of  the  deacons,  Dr.  Love 
appointed  a  committee  to  wait  upon  Mrs.  Guff  to 
remonstrate  tenderly  with  her,  upon  the  ground  that 
mere  unselfishness  required  that  she  give  other  mem- 
bers of  the  congregation  a  chance  to  participate  in  the 
singing. 

At  first  Mrs.  Guff  was  astonished.  Then  she  became 
indignant;  and  when  Deacon  Slack  unwisely  offered 
some  observations  reflecting  upon  the  inadaptability  of 
Balerma  to  absolutely  every  kind  of  hymn-singing, 
Mrs.  Guff  lost  her  temper,  and  gave  formal  notice  that 
she  would  continue  to  sing  Balerma ;  that  she  would 
now  sing  louder  than  she  had  ever  done ;  and  that  she 
would  hereafter  sing  it  while  the  choir  sang  the  anthem 
during  the  taking  up  of  the  collection. 

The  committee  reported  to  another  special  meeting 
of  the  deacons,  and  in  a  spirit  of  half-panic  a  resolu- 


220  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

tion  was  passed  declaring  Mrs.  Guff's  pew  vacant,  and 
instructing  the  treasurer  not  to  rent  another  pew  to 
her. 

Upon  the  next  Sunday  Mrs.  Guff  came  to  church 
early,  and  taking  a  seat  in  a  front  pew  she  sang  through 
all  the  hymns ;  and  then  with  a  glare  in  her  eyes,  she 
stood  up  and  sang  Balerma  to  her  favorite  verses 
while  the  choir  struggled  through  the  anthem. 

The  next  time  service  was  held  a  guard  composed 
of  the  deacons  and  the  sexton  stood  at  the  front  door 
and  refused  to  admit  Mrs.  Guff  to  the  church. 

Mrs.  Guff  had  an  impulse  to  stand  upon  the  steps 
and  to  make  the  welkin  ring  with  a  continuous  and 
vehement  performance  of  Balerma,  but  her  better  judg- 
ment suggested  that  Elmira  Bantam  should  take  the 
matter  to  the  civil  court,  and  thus  the  foundations  were 
laid  for  the  case  of "  Amelia  Powers  Guff  versus  the 
First  Presbyterian  Church  of  Happy  Hollow." 

It  was  a  case  suited  in  quite  a  remarkable  manner  to 
Miss  Bantam's  convictions  and  enthusiasms.  She  was 
never  happier  or  more  intense  than  when  she  was 
called  upon  to  champion  the  cause  of  members  of  her 
sex  who  had  suffered  wrong,  and  so  Mrs.  Guff  walked 
home  from  the  attorney's  office  with  the  assurance 
that  unless  justice  had  forsaken  her  accustomed  seat 
in  Blair  County,  the  Presbyterian  Church  would  rent  a 
pew  to  Mrs.  Guff,  and  Mrs.  Guff  would  sit  in  it  and 
sing  Balerma. 

Dr.  Love  called  upon  Miss  Bantam  at  an  early  day 
to  ascertain  if  a  compromise  could  not  be  made,  so 
that  the  church  might  be  spared  the  scandal  that  would 
ensue  upon  the  appearance  of  the  matter  in  court.  But 
Miss  Bantam  was  firm. 


TROUBLE   IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW.       221 

"  Your  pews  are  for  rent,  aren't  they  ?  For  rent  to 
anyone  ?" 

"  Yes,"  said  the  Doctor,  "  but  there  is  a  tacit  under- 
standing, of  course,  as  a  part  of  the  contract,  that  the 
occupant  of  the  pew  shall  not  indulge  in  any  unseemly 
behavior ;  shall  not,  in  fact,  interfere  with  the  orderly 
conduct  of  the  service." 

"  Unseemly  !"  said  Elmira  Bantam.  "  Does  this 
pious  woman  sing  any  hymns  but  those  in  your  regu- 
lar hymn-book  ?" 

"  No." 

"  She  sings  them  only  when  they  are  formally  given 
out  to  the  congregation,  which  is  invited  to  sing  ?" 

"  Usually,  yes,  but  she  always  sings  too  loud." 

"  How  loud  is  too  loud  ?"  inquired  Miss  Bantam. 

Dr.  Love  was  unable  to  say. 

"  Is  there  anything  in  the  constitution  or  by-laws 
of  the  church  indicating  that  a  member  must  sing  more 
or  less  loud?" 

"  No." 

"  The  matter  is  always  left  to  the  discretion  of  the 
individual  singer?" 

"  I  suppose  so,  but  in  this — " 

"  And  Mrs.  Guff,  in  the  exercise  of  this  lawful  and 
necessary  discretion,  sings  more  loudly  than  you  like  ?" 

"  Not  my  like  or  dislike,"  answered  Dr.  Love. 

"Just  how  loud  does  she  sing?" 

"  Really  there  is  no  term  that  would  exactly  ex- 
press— that  is,  no  method  of  measuring  precisely  the 
degree  of  loudness." 

"  Then  how  can  you  be  sure  about  it  ?  How  can 
you  go  into  a  court  of  justice  and  under  the  solemn 
obligation  of  an  oath  declare  that  she  sings  too  loudly 


222  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

when  you  cannot  tell  how  much  too  loudly  she  sings 
or  how  loudly  is  exactly  loud  enough?" 

"  I  suppose  we  must  be  guided  in  such  a  matter," 
said  the  Doctor,  "  by  usage,  or  by  the  consensus  of 
opinion  of  the  congregation." 

"  No,"  said  Miss  Bantam,  firmly,  "  for  perhaps  all 
the  rest  of  the  people  may  have  a  habit  of  singing  too 
softly;  or  it  may  be  that  something  has  prejudiced 
them  in  favor  of  singing  softly ;  and,  at  any  rate,  Mrs. 
Guff's  judgment  as  to  the  right  degree  of  loudness 
may  be  sounder  than  that  of  the  rest  of  the  congrega- 
tion. You  admit  there  is  no  standard." 

"  But  she  drowns  the  voices  of  the  other  worshipers." 

"  She  is  but  one  of  two  hundred.  Will  you  venture 
to  tell  the  court  that  the  other  worshipers  combined 
cannot  overcome  the  voice  of  this  one  old  woman  ?" 

Dr.  Love  hesitated  for  a  moment,  and  then  he  said : 

"  And  she  always  will  persist  in  singing  Balerma,  too." 

"  Very  well ;  is  not  Balerma  one  of  your  authorized 
tunes  ?  It  is  in  your  hymn-book,  isn't  it?" 

"  Yes." 

"  And  you  sing  it  sometimes  ?" 

"  Often." 

"  Well,  then,  Mrs.  Guff  wishes  to  sing  it  oftener ; 
that  is  all.  It  is  clear  to  me,  Doctor,  that  the  church 
has  no  case.  If  Mrs.  Guff  were  unruly  or  profane;  if 
she  persisted  in  singing  the  'Star  Spangled  Banner' 
and  '  A  Life  on  the  Ocean  Wave,'  and  such  things,  you 
might  exclude  her;  but  the  courts  will  never  allow  you 
to  shut  the  doors  upon  a  helpless  old  woman  because 
she  sings  your  own  hymns  to  your  own  tunes,  and 
merely  offends  your  taste  by  singing  loudly;  never!  I 
shall  apply  for  an  injunction  upon  the  church  at  once." 


TROUBLE   IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW.       223 

The  view  of  the  matter  taken  by  'Lias  Guff,  in  a 
conversation  with  me  one  afternoon  in  the  park,  was 
that  of  a  loyal  husband. 

"  Amelia  Powers  Guff's  singin'  is  a  gif '.  The  elves 
give  her  the  gif  of  song  in  her  cradle,  and  she's  faith- 
ful to  it.  The  sun  was  in  Cancer  when  she  was  born, 
and  people  born  when  the  sun  is  in  Cancer  is  always 
faithful  and  has  gif's  for  singin'." 

"  A  gift  to  sing  Balerma  ?" 

"  Anythin'.  The  Guffs  make  no  trouble,  but  Amelia 
Powers  Guff  will  exercise  her  gif  if  she  has  to  quit  her 
own  church  and  hold  with  the  Methodists.  A  rollin' 
stone  gathers  no  dross ;  but  her  gif  is  to  sing  loud, 
and  I  don't  see  why,  if  Dr.  Love  can  holler  loud  in  his 
preachin',  a  little  ewe  lamb  of  his  flock  can't  sing  loud 
if  she  has  the  gif. 

"  Amelia  Powers  Guff  has  sung  that  one  chune  goin* 
on  forty  year.  She's  sung  it  at  her  uprisin'  and  at  her 
down-settin' ;  she's  sung  it  to  soothe  me  in  sorrer  and 
to  cheer  me  when  sad.  It  was  her  gif  and  she  used 
it.  Better  one  chune  and  be  faithful,  than  many  chunes 
and  be  unfaithful  and  never  live  up  to  'em.  She's  always 
knowed  them  notes  like  you  know  your  catechism." 

"  You  didn't  have  the  gift  ?" 

"  I  had  it,  but  a  cat  drawed  my  breath  when  I  was 
a  baby  and  fast  asleep.  But  I  sing  sometimes  to  my- 
self— deep  down  inside  you  know. 

"  What  makes  the  little  birds  sing,  and  the  bull-frogs  ? 
It's  the  fairies.  You  know  birds  and  bull-frogs  is  kin 
anyway.  Rail-birds  turn  into  frogs  in  the  fall  and  dives 
into  the  mud  and  stays  there  all  winter ;  and  when  you 
hear  the  frogs  in  the  spring,  that's  them  a  practisin'  for 
when  they'll  be  turned  to  birds  agin. 


224 


IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


"All  brute  animals  likes  music,"  continued  'Lias 
Guff,  "  except  them  Presbyterian  people  at  Dr.  Love's 
church.  I've  seen  a  snake  in  Madagascar  beat  time 
with  his  head  like  he  was  a  stick  in  the  hand  of  a 
drum-major,  whilst  a  man  played  on  the  fiddle. 

"Snakes  is  queer  anyway.  Snakes  is  devils  just  as 
rail-birds  is  frogs.  I  seen  a  hoop-snake  once  put  his 

tail  in  his 
mouth  and 
chase  a  boy, 
rollin' round 
and  round, 
up-hill,  and 
he'daketch- 
ed  that  boy 
and  e't  him 
if  the  boy 
hadn't  a  rab- 

bit's-foot  in  his  pants'  pocket.     You've  seen  the  jynt- 
snake,  of  course?" 
"  The  joint-snake  ?" 

"  Yes,  the  jynt-snake.  I've  knowed  'em,  when  they 
seen  a  man  a-comin',  to  break  themselves  into  four 
lengths,  and  each  length  run  a  different  way  to  hide  in 
the  grass  till  the  man'd  go  by,  and  then  they'd  come 
out  and  all  hitch  together  agin.  I  seen  one  jynt-snake 
oncet  that  couldn't  find  one  of  his  lengths,  and  he  had 
to  go  away  crippled  without  it.  William  Jones,  one  of 
my  old  mates,  told  me  he  had  seen  one  take  off  one  of 
his  lengths  and  play  on  it  like  a  flute ;  but  I  never  seen 
it  done,  and  I  don't  believe  what  I  don't  see. 

"  But  you  bet,  sir,"  said  'Lias  Guff,  returning  to  the 
case  of  Mrs.  Guff,  as  he  prepared  to  leave  me,  "  that 


TROUBLE   IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW.       225 

Miss  Elmira'll  fix  them  Presbyterians.  She's  a  smart 
woman,  ain't  she?  I've  noticed,  sir,  if  you'll  let  me 
say  it  respectful,  that  you've  looked  tender  at  her." 

"  You  are  mistaken." 

"  Werry  well,  sir,  if  I'm  mistaken,  then  I'm  mistaken, 
but  I  haven't  spent  forty  years  with  Amelia  Powers 
Guff  without  realizin'  that  a  man  who  hain't  a  wife  for 
his  bosom  might  as  well  have  no  bosom.  Life  ain't 
worth  livin' ;  and  happy  is  the  bosom,  say  I,  that  gits 
Miss  Elmira  Bantam,  if  her  hair  is  borderin'  on  red." 

Upon  application  from  Elmira  Bantam,  the  court 
issued  a  temporary  injunction  requiring  the  First 
Presbyterian  Church  not  to  interfere  with  the  attempt 
of  Amelia  Powers  Guff"  to  participate  in  an  orderly 
manner  in  the  services. 

On  the  Sunday  following  Mrs.  Guff  went  to  church 
and  sat  in  a  pew  in  the  middle  aisle,  and  found  the  first 
hymn  when  it  was  announced.  The  organist  played 
Balerma  before  the  choir  began,  and  Mrs.  Guff,  hear- 
ing the  tune,  closed  the  hymn-book  and  refused  to  sing. 
Later  in  the  service  Dr.  Love  gave  out  four  other  com- 
mon metre  hymns,  and  the  choir  sang  each  of  them  to 
Balerma,  and  another  hymn  was  sung  to  the  same  tune 
in  place  of  the  usual  anthem.  Mrs.  Guff  remained 
silent  through  it  all,  and  then  walked  out  during  the 
benediction  and  went  over  to  arrange  with  Rev.  Jason 
Hole  to  join  the  Methodist  Church. 

Miss  Bantam  withdrew  the  case  from  court. 


the  theological  and  ecclesiastical  excite- 
ments had  fully  passed,  and  Happy  Hollow,  excepting 
for  the  never-failing  interest  maintained  by  A.  J.  Peli- 
can's boom,  had  lapsed  into  tranquillity,  Simon  Bui- 
finch's  wife  died.  She  has  not  often  appeared  in  this 
narrative,  for  indeed  I  never  met  her  above  twice,  and  I 
heard  little  of  her  excepting  now  and  then  a  word  from 
Mrs.  Bantam,  to  whom  Julie  spoke  sometimes  of  the 
forlorn  and  desolate  life  of  the  poor  woman. 

Julie  was  with  her  in  the  last  illness,  nursing  her  con- 
stantly, and  caring  also  for  the  needs  of  Charley  and 
of  the  dwelling  house.  Mrs.  Bulfinch's  constant  long- 
ing was  for  her  husband,  whom  Julie  Mortimer  found 
and  urged  to  visit  his  wife.  Simon  came  now  and  then 
to  see  the  invalid,  and  made  a  pretence  of  affectionate- 
ness  which  deceived  her,  but  did  not  at  all  impose 
upon  the  clear-headed  woman  who  attended  her. 

When  the  end  was  near,  Julie,  upon  Mrs.  Bulfinch's 
entreaty,  sought  Simon  once  more ;  and  when  he  came 
Mrs.  Bulfinch  told  him  she  was  sure  she  was  dying, 
but  that  she  should  be  perfectly  happy  if  he  would  put 
his  arms  about  her.  This  Simon  did,  and  held  her  while 
226 


THE   BLACK  SHEEP.  227 

she  faintly  smiled  at  him  and  seemed  indeed  satisfied. 
But  Julie  said  that  even  while  the  woman  who  loved 
him  so  deeply  and  had  suffered  so  much  for  his  evil 
conduct  was  passing  away,  Simon's  face  showed  perfect 
indifference.  He  behaved  as  if  he  were  an  actor  in 
a  comedy,  smiling  at  Miss  Mortimer  as  she  stood  by 
the  bedside,  and  even  once  whispering  to  her  a  jibe  at 
the  devotion  manifested  for  him  by  his  wife. 

Simon  Bulfinch  seemed  to  have  had  the  hope  that 
when  his  wife  had  gone  he  might  find  some  means  of 
taking  possession  of  the  house  and  its  contents  and  of 
exercising  control  over  Charley.  But  the  day  of  the 
funeral  had  not  passed  before  he  learned  that  Dr.  Bui- 
finch's  power  over  the  property  and  the  boy  was  abso- 
lute and  indisputable.  The  boy  became  his  uncle's 
ward,  and  the  property  remained  in  the  Doctor's  hands 
to  administer  until  Charley  should  be  of  age.  Mrs. 
Bulfinch's  father  had  taken  Simon's  measure  before  his 
daughter  married ;  and  his  wisdom  and  foresight  now 
had  clear  demonstration. 

Charley,  of  his  own  choice,  became  a  member  of  the 
Doctor's  household,  and  this  filled  Simon  with  bitter- 
ness and  fury.  The  sole  purpose  of  life  with  him 
seemed  now  to  be  to  harass  and  insult  the  Doctor. 
He  adopted  an  odd  method  of  doing  this.  I  have  said 
that  in  face  and  figure  he  closely  resembled  his  brother. 
Now  he  assumed  a  costume  precisely  like  that  usually 
worn  by  Dr.  Bulfinch,  and  dressed  in  this  manner  he 
appeared  nearly  every  day  upon  the  streets  of  the  vil- 
lage in  a  condition  of  semi-intoxication. 

I  have  been  startled  more  than  once  when  I  saw  him 
swaying  in  his  walk  upon  the  pavement,  or  half-lying 
upon  one  of  the  benches  in  the  little  park,  by  the  first 


228  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

impression  that  this  was  Dr.  Bulfinch  himself;  and  it 
was  therefore  not  remarkable  that  some  of  the  stupid 
people  who  were  to  be  found  in  Happy  Hollow,  as 

they  are  to  be  found 
in  every  community, 
should  accept  the  re- 
port that  Dr.  Bul- 
finch had  become  in- 
temperate. 

Where  Simon 
dwelt,  where  he  hid 
himself  when  he  was 

The  black  sheep.  nOt  bef°re  the  Public> 

nobody    seemed     to 

know.  I  inclined  to  suspect  that  the  house  of  Isaac 
Williams,  out  upon  the  mountain-side  where  I  found 
him  in  that  night  of  tempest  months  ago,  was  his 
abiding-place. 

It  was  his  favorite  practice  to  waylay  Dr.  Bulfinch 
in  his  afternoon  walks,  and  to  jeer  him  and  fling  in- 
sulting epithets  at  him,  the  more  virulently  if  any  of 
the  town's  people  were  within  hearing. 

By  the  middle  of  June  the  great  Aramink  House 
out  upon  the  border  of  the  sweet  Aramink  Lake,  which 
mirrored  the  great  hills  and  lay  placid  and  beautiful 
at  their  base,  was  ready  for  its  summer  guests.  It  was 
but  a  little  distance  from  the  edge  of  the  town ;  and 
one  afternoon  when  the  sunshine  was  glorious  and  the 
air  pure  and  soft  and  warm,  and  all  the  hills  and  fields 
were  rich  with  their  covering  of  green,  I  walked  out  to 
the  place  with  Dr.  Bulfinch. 

We  had  looked  through  the  great  house  and  admired 
its  equipment,  and  then  we  came  out  to  the  border  of 


THE   BLACK  SHEEP.  229 

the  lake  and  strolled  along  by  the  water-side  until  we 
reached  a  point  where  the  lake  emptied  itself  into  the 
stream  that  ran  right  through  the  town.  A  little 
bridge  was  here — a  bridge  without  parapet  or  railing, 
over  which  vehicles  and  pedestrians  might  pass  the 
stream  to  reach  the  other  side  of  the  lake  without  using 
a  boat  or  going  clear  into  the  town. 

While  Dr.  Bulfinch  and  I  stood  upon  the  bridge 
admiring  the  view  up  the  lake  and  down  the  stream, 
and  talking  about  school-matters,  I  saw  Simon,  mani- 
festly not  wholly  sober,  coming  toward  us. 

I  had  an  impulse  to  turn  the  Doctor  away  that  he 
might  not  see  his  brother;  but  we  could  not  escape 
Simon  unless  we  should  go  to  the  further  side  of  the 
lake,  and  this  Dr.  Bulfinch  was  indisposed  to  do. 

Simon  had  sought  him  out  and  came  rapidly  toward 
us.  As  soon  as  he  reached  the  bridge  he  assailed  the 
Doctor  with  venomous  language  which  I  shall  not 
repeat.  He  stood  in  such  a  posture  that  we  must 
either  stand  still,  retreat,  or  push  by  him  at  close  quar- 
ters. Dr.  Bulfinch  made  no  reply  to  his  evil  words, 
and  both  of  us  moved  forward,  intending  to  pass  the 
man  and  go  onward  to  the  village.  As  we  came  to 
him,  Simon,  nearing  the  edge  of  the  bridge,  and  no 
doubt  made  more  angry  by  the  Doctor's  silence,  lifted 
his  arm  as  if  to  strike  his  brother.  At  that  moment 
either  his  foot  slipped  or,  his  body  not  being  under 
control,  was  swayed  by  his  gesture,  for  he  tumbled 
backward  into  the  lake  and  went  under. 

The  water  there  is  quite  ten  feet  deep,  and  I  doubt 
if  Simon  Bulfinch  could  swim.  Assuredly  he  did  not 
swim  then.  I  do  not  know  the  thought  that  was  in 
the  Doctor's  mind  when  the  man  went  over.  The 


230  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

thing  was  done  so  suddenly  and  without  expectation 
that  anyone  might  be  forgiven  for  hesitating.  Prob- 
ably the  Doctor's  first  thought  was  that  he  could  hold 
out  a  hand  to  Simon  when  he  came  to  the  surface. 
But  in  truth  when  Simon's  head  appeared  again  above 
the  water  there  was  evidence  enough  that  he  could  not 
clasp  a  hand  or  any  other  thing,  even  if  he  could  be 
reached. 

In  a  moment  Dr.  Bulfinch  flung  off  his  coat  and  hat 
and  plunged  into  the  water.  That  he  could  swim  was 
plainly  apparent.  When  Simon  came  up  again  the 
Doctor,  old  and  weighted  by  clothing  as  he  was,  seized 
him  by  the  collar  of  his  coat  and  pushed  him  toward 
the  bridge.  Thereupon  I  lay  flat  upon  the  bridge,  and 
leaning  over  caught  Simon's  clothing  and  held  him 
while  the  Doctor  clambered  out  of  the  water. 

By  this  time  two  men  over  at  the  hotel,  who  had 
seen  the  man  fall,  came  up  to  help  us,  and  Simon  was 
dragged  out  and  laid  upon  the  bridge.  He  was  quite 
insensible,  and  the  Docter,  wet  as  he  was,  addressed 
himself  to  the  task  of  restoring  him.  The  Doctor 
knew  precisely  how  to  do  this,  also,  and  in  twenty 
minutes  Simon  opened  his  eyes.  The  men  from  the 
hotel  a  few  moments  later  lifted  him  and  prepared  to 
cany  him  to  the  house.  As  they  did  so  Simon  saw 
the  Doctor  beside  him,  and  gathering  all  the  little 
strength  that  he  could  command  he  raised  his  head 
and  spat  upon  him.  Then  the  head  dropped  backward 
and  Simon  fainted. 

Dr.  Bulfinch,  against  my  remonstrance,  would  have 
Simon  carried  to  the  Doctor's  house,  where,  when  he 
had  been  dried  and  reclothed  he  was  placed  upon  the 
Doctor's  bed,  while  a  physician  was  summoned. 


THE   BLACK   SHEEP.  231 

That  night  he  must  have  recovered  fully,  for  when 
the  Doctor  came  down  stairs  in  the  morning  after  a 
night  almost  sleepless,  the  front  door  was  wide  open, 
many  of  the  fragile  things  in  the  library  had  been 
wrecked,  and  Simon's  room  was  empty. 

I  could  not  repent  that  Dr.  Bulfinch  had  saved  the 
man's  life ;  nor  could  I  have  mourned  had  it  happened 
that  he  should  have  fallen  into  the  lake  when  no  one 
was  near  to  rescue  him. 

But  a  worse  fate  than  drowning  was  awaiting  him, 
and  near  at  hand,  too. 

We  were  coming  close  to  the  end  of  the  school  year, 
and  teachers  and  scholars  were  glad  of  it.  In  the 
bright  June  days  the  boys  often  turned  their  eyes  from 
their  books,  and  looking  through  the  open  windows 
of  the  school-room  at  the  trees  and  the  grass  and  the 
flowers,  felt  longings  for  vacation  time.  For  the  young 
the  summer  days  should  be  play-days,  and  for  the 
teachers,  days  of  refreshment  and  refitting  for  the  tasks 
of  the  school  time. 

Under  the  influence  of  the  reign  of  love,  stimulated 
by  diligent  application  to  the  backs  of  the  boys  of 
love's  symbol,  the  rod,  most  of  our.  pupils  had  climbed 
fairly  well  the  hill  of  knowledge,  that  tough  old  de- 
clivity, and  could  declare  that  they  had  really  learned  a 
little  of  the  necessaiy,  but  quite  inferior,  variety  of  wis- 
dom that  the  schools  supply. 

One  of  the  things  Dr.  Bulfinch  most  desired  to  teach 
the  boys  was  the  art  of  reading  their  own  language 
with  proper  articulation,  emphasis,  and  inflection,  and 
in  this  purpose  he  had  my  hearty  sympathy. 

And  so,  upon  every  Friday  the  afternoon  session 
was  given  up  to  recitations,  which  the  boys  always 


232  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

alluded  to  as  "  speaking  pieces."  Those  who  have 
heard  boys  in  the  privacy  of  the  school-room  trying  to 
speak  pieces  will  have  conviction  that,  excepting  in  the 
rarest  cases,  the  hardest  task  of  the  teacher  is  to  in- 
struct the  mind  how  the  tongue  should  be  used. 

In  truth,  the  task  generally  is  beyond  the  power  even 
of  the  teacher  whose  own  mind  and  tongue  have  been 
trained,  and  who  has  acquired,  from  long  and  painful 
experience  with  somnolent  preachers  and  other  dull 
public  speakers,  a  conviction  that  human  utterance 
rightly  guided  by  intelligence  is  one  of  the  pressing 
needs  of  the  race. 

The  boys  in  our  school  were  permitted  to  choose  for 
themselves  the  pieces  they  should  speak,  and  the  range 
of  their  choice  was  narrow.  The  youth  who  ventured 
to  select  any  bit  of  prose  or  verse  that  had  not  a  hun- 
dred or  more  precedents  behind  it  was  regarded  by  his 
companions  as  eccentric  beyond  the  limits  of  their 
patience. 

Dr.  Bulfmch  and  I  have  listened  to  "  The  Psalm  of 
Life  "  and  "  Excelsior,"  to  "  Bingen  on  the  Rhine  "  and 
"  Casabianca,"  and  later,  to  "  Barbara  Freitchie "  and 
"  Sheridan's  Ride,'!  presented  with  such  variety  of 
utterance  and  gesture  that  we  have  wondered  how  a 
new  boy  could  invent  any  new  awkwardness  of  manner 
or  blunder  of  emphasis. 

Often  I  have  sat  upon  the  front  bench  while  a  boy 
persuaded  himself  that  he  was  reciting  "  Excelsior," 
and  tried  to  put  myself  mentally  in  the  speaker's  place 
that  I  might  conjecture  if  that  stumbling,  stammering 
lad  had  the  smallest  notion  of  the  poet's  meaning. 
Mr.  Longfellow  did  not  deserve  such  a  fate,  but  re- 
morse would  have  embittered  his  declining  years  could 


THE   BLACK   SHEEP. 


233 


he  have  known  what    unoffending   pedagogues   have 
suffered  from    the  "  Psalm  of  Life  "  and  "  Excelsior." 

There  are  nervous  men  in  the 
profession    who,  upon    recitation 
day,     finding    that     they     were 
doomed  again  to  form  a  mental 
picture  of  that  intrepid  but  un- 
reasoning young  man 
who     insisted     upon 
mounting  to  the  Al- 
pine   summits     amid 
snow   and   ice,    have 
felt  that  they  would 
gladly  assassinate  him 
and  take  the  chances 
of  the  scaffold  if  they 
could  get  at  him  be- 
fore   he     began     his 
wintry   and    slippery 
ascent. 

The  Doctor  was 
long  -  suffering,  but 
sometimes  he  grew 
petulant  and  sarcastic. 
One  day  when  a  boy 
rose  to  give  the  third 


recital  of  "  Excel- 
sior" upon  that  after- 
noon, the  speaker  re- 
peated  four  times  the 


,  .  „ 

The  shades  of  night  were  falling  fast. 


opening  lines  —  "The 

shades  of  night  were  falling  fast"  —  and  at  the  end  of 

each  repetition  stopped  and  looked  weakly  about,  as 


234  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

if  he  expected  to  find  the  second  line  written  upon  the 
walls  or  the  windows,  or  coming  in  at  the  front  door. 

"Joseph,"  said  the  Doctor  at  last,  "if  the  shades  of 
night  fell  no  faster  than  your  utterance  indicates,  the 
miracle  of  Joshua  must  have  been  repeated ;  but  I 
doubt  it.  You  seem  to  fail  to  seize  the  broader  senti- 
ment of  the  poem.  Strange,  too  !  for  you  have  heard 
it  not  infrequently." 

Joseph  gasped  once  or  twice  and  then,  clutching  at 
the  missing  line,  he  went  on. 

Three  boys  having  dealt  treacherously  with  "  Ex- 
celsior," a  fourth  boy  came  upon  the  platform  and,  with 
an  air  of  having  found  a  hitherto  undiscovered  jewel 
of  poesy,  began  to  say,  "  The  shades  of  night  were 
falling  fast." 

"Stop!"  shouted  Dr.  Bulfinch.  "Stop!  not  four 
times  !  Not  four  times  in  one  day  for  '  Excelsior ' !  It 
is  a  glorious  poem,  conveying  invaluable  moral  lessons, 
but  we  need  to  digest  what  we  have  already  taken  into 
our  mental  constitution.  Give  us  more  time,  Thomas. 
Besides,  Thomas,  you  appear  to  misapprehend  the  very 
title  of  that  lovely  composition.  You  give  it  as 
'  Eggselsior/  whereas  Mr.  Longfellow  entitled  it  '  Ex- 
celsior/ a  Latin  word  signifying  higher.  Have  you  no 
other  piece  in  your  memory  to  favor  us  with  ?" 

"No,  sir,"  said  Thomas,  gloomily. 

"  Very  well,"  replied.the  Doctor.  "  Report  to  me  in 
my  study  at  quarter  past  three." 

When  Hosea  Blinn  began  to  tell  about  that  surpris- 
ing boy  who  stood  on  the  burning  deck  (how  very 
tiresome  that  boy  is  !),  Dr.  Bulfinch  interfered : 

"You  spoke  'Casabianca'  last  Friday,  Hosea,  did 
you  not?" 


THE  BLACK  SHEEP.  235 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"And  the  Friday  before?" 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  If  my  memory  does  not  mislead  me,  you  spoke  it 
so  long  ago  as  September,  and  many  times  since." 

"  I  don't  remember,  sir." 

"  But  I  do  !"  thundered  the  Doctor.  "  It  seems  to 
me  that  I  have  burned  into  my  mind  the  image  of 
Hosea  Blinn  standing  here  declaiming  about  the  heroic 
performance  of  Casabianca.  I  fear  you  are  acquiring 
it  as  a  habit,  Hosea,  and  that  if  I  permit  it  to  proceed, 
you  will  pass  on  down  to  an  advanced  old  age  repeat- 
ing '  Casabianca.'  Stop  it  now !  Learn  something 
else.  The  human  mind  craves  variety.  The  king- 
dom of  song  contains  other  gems  than  this,  little  as 
you  suspect  it.  Search  for  them,  Hosea;  search,  I 
say,  and  try  to  find  another  or  prepare  to  meet  me  in 
my  study." 

While  George  Grass  was  relating  Mrs.  Norton's 
piteous  story  of  the  "  Soldier  of  the  Legion  "  who  lay 
dying  in  Algiers,  he  drew  his  sleeve  over  the  end  of 
his  nose  three  or  four  times,  until  Dr.  Bulfinch  inter- 
fered : 

"  George,"  he  said,  in  a  stern  voice,  "  is  that  intended 
for  an  explanatory  gesture?" 

"  No,  sir,"  said  George,  mournfully,  doing  it  again  as 
if  to  prove  that  it  was  not. 

"  Because,"  said  the  Doctor,  "  if  it  is  so  intended,  it 
seems  to  me  to  be  irrelevant.  Discontinue  it,  if  you 
please,  and  go  on.  You  were  saying,  if  I  recall  your 
words,  that  'the  soft  moon  rose  up  slowly/  Begin 
again  there." 

George  took  up  the  narrative  at  that  point  and  with 


236  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

evident  effort  kept  his  sleeve  from  his  face.  Several 
times  his  arm  made  an  involuntary  movement  in  that 
direction,  but  he  grasped  it  quickly  with  his  left  hand 
and  pulled  it  down.  ..•• 

"  I  observe,"  said  Dr.  Bulfinch,  as  George  concluded 
the  recitation,  "that  you  speak  of  Bin-gen  with  the  'g' 
soft,  as  in  '  gingerbread.'  That  is  incorrect  pronuncia- 
tion. Do  you  know  what  Bingen  is  ?" 

"  No,  sir." 

"  Make  a  guess,  George." 

"  It's  a  place  where  they  make  soft  gingerbread." 

"  Come  to  my  study  at  quarter  past  three,"  said  the 
Doctor,  "  and  we  will  consider  the  matter  further." 

The  practice  of  visiting  the  Doctor's  study  at  quar- 
ter past  three  had  an  unfortunate  consequence  upon 
Dr.  Bulfinch's  fifty-ninth  birthday.  I  think  the  Doc- 
tor was  liked  by  the  boys  in  spite  of  the  vigor  of  his 
right  arm  and  his  severe  interpretation  of  the  law  of 
love. 

At  any  rate,  upon  the  suggestion  of  Polly  Hopkins, 
whose  conscience  had  never  had  complete  satisfaction 
since  his  famous  combat  with  the  master,  the  boys 
collected  some  money  and  bought  therewith  Shake- 
speare's Complete  Works  in  three  volumes  bound  in 
muslin  of  a  violently  red  color;  and  a  committee  of 
three  was  charged  to  give  the  books  to  the  Doctor  on 
his  birthday. 

I  had  not  been  acquainted  with  the  enterprise,  or  I 
should  have  arranged  it  differently;  but  the  boys 
wished  to  surprise  the  Doctor,  and  so  the  committee 
headed  by  Polly  Hopkins,  who  carried  the  books, 
visited  the  study  upon  Thursday  afternoon  at  quarter 
past  three. 


THE   BLACK   SHEEP.  237 

Five  other  boys  were  in  the  room  when  the  commit- 
tee entered,  and  one  of  the  five  at  that  very  moment 
was  the  victim  of  strenuous  flagellation.  The  commit- 
tee sat  down  to  wait  until  the  regular  exercises  should 
be  ended. 

But  Dr.  Bulfinch  had  warmed  up  to  his  work  when 
five  boys  had  received  the  benediction  of  the  rod,  and 
he  was  always  intensely  in  earnest  while  performing 
this  particular  service.  So,  as  the  last  of  the  five  fled 
through  the  door,  the  Doctor,  holding  the  rod  in  his 
right  hand,  and  looking  warm,  beckoned  with  his  left 
hand  to  Hopkins  to  come  forward  and  take  a  thrashing. 

Hopkins,  never  at  his  ease  in  that  room  and  in  the 
presence  of  the  wielded  rod,  rose  to  his  feet  and  began 
to.  try  to  explain  to  the  Doctor  that  his  errand  was 
rather  that  of  a  bearer  of  tokens  of  peace  than  of  a 
malefactor  to  whom  stripes  were  due. 

But  Dr.  Bulfinch  was  impatient ;  he  never  would 
permit  argument  from  a  boy  who  had  been  ordered  up 
at  quarter  past  three,  and  so  it  happened,  most  unfor- 
tunately, that  the  surprise  prepared  for  him  turned  out 
to  be  a  surprise  for  Polly  Hopkins  and  the  committee. 

"  Come  here,  sir !"  said  the  Doctor  sternly,  with  out- 
stretched hand,  as  Hopkins  attempted  to  speak ;  and 
the  boy,  overawed  and  frightened,  dropped  the  Com- 
plete Works  of  Shakespeare  in  three  red  volumes  and 
came  forward. 

When  the  Doctor  had  brought  him  in  complete  sub- 
jection to  the  reign  of  love,  Hopkins  made  another 
effort  to  remove  the  misapprehension  under  which  the 
Doctor  labored;  but  again  he  was  silenced  until  the 
Doctor  had  thoroughly  flogged  the  other  members  of 
the  committee. 


238  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Then  there  was  another  and  very  painful  surprise. 
The  scarlet  volumes  lay  upon  the  chair,  and  the  three 
boys  stood  about  them  much  inclined  to  cry,  and  yet 
with  a  grim  resolution  to  stand  fast  by  their  original 
purpose  to  celebrate  Dr.  Bulfinch's  fifty-ninth  birthday. 

When  the  Doctor  had  put  the  rod  in  its  resting-place 
over  the  mantel  and  had  expressed  with  a  sigh  his  feel- 
ing of  gladness  that  his  task  was  done,  he  turned  about 
and  was  astonished  to  see  the  boys  still  lingering  in  the 
torture  chamber. 

He  was  startled. 

"  What's  the  matter,  boys  ?     Why  don't  you  go  ?" 

Choking  down  a  sob  that  would  come  into  his  throat, 
Polly  Hopkins  at  last  began  the  formal  address  that  he 
had  prepared  and  committed  to  memory. 

"  Honored  teacher ;  the  pupils  of  the  Happy  Hollow 
Classical  and  Mathematical  Academy,  appreciating 
your  noble  and  unselfish  efforts  to  lead  them  along  the 
ways  of  learning  and  to  train  them  up  in  the  way  that 
they  should  go,  have  felt  that  on  this  your  fifty-ninth 
birthday — have  felt  that  on  this  your — your  fifty-ninth 
bi — have  felt "  (here  Polly  Hopkins's  memory  broke 
down  completely)  "  like  giving  you  Shakespeare's  Com- 
plete Works  in  three  magnificent  red  volumes  ;"  and 
Polly  Hopkins  seized  them  and  held  them  out  toward 
the  Doctor. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  was  filled  with  consternation  and  re- 
morse when  he  discovered  the  mistake  he  had  made. 
For  a  moment  he  hardly  knew  what  to  say.  At  last 
he  spoke  to  Hopkins  : 

"  Thomas,  my  son,  do  I  understand  that  you  and  the 
other  boys  in  the  school  have  prepared  for  me  a  birth- 
day present?" 


THE   BLACK   SHEEP.  239 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  all  the  members  of  the  committee. 

"  And  this  is  it  ?"  said  the  Doctor,  looking  at  the 
books. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  responded  the  committee. 

"And  none  of  you  were  sent  here  for  punishment?" 

"  No,  sir.  We  came  to  give  you  the  Complete 
Works  of  Shakespeare  in  three  volumes." 

"  And  in  my  stupid  blindness  I  flogged  all  three  of 
you  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  the  committee  promptly. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  was  troubled.  He  put  the  books  upon 
the  table,  sat  in  his  chair,  and  with  his  hand  to  his  chin 
considered  the  matter.  When  he  looked  up  again  he 
had  tears  in  his  eyes,  and  Polly  Hopkins  and  the  other 
members  of  the  committee  had  to  bite  their  lips  to 
keep  from  breaking  down. 

"  I  hardly  know,"  said  the  Doctor,  as  if  he  were 
speaking  to  himself,  "  I  hardly  know  how  to — or  rather, 
what — exactly  in  what  manner  to —  Boys,  I  am 
most  grateful ;  far  more  grateful  than  I  can  tell  you, 
for  your  beautiful  gift  and  for  the  affection  that  prompted 
all  the  boys  to  remember  my  birthday.  Say  so, 
Thomas,  to  all  the  boys  in  the  school.  And  now — I 
can't  quite  ask  you  to  forgive  me,  Hopkins  and  Blinn 
and  Prosser ;  that  is  not  enough.  It  was  really  terrible 
for  me  to  misunderstand  you  on  such  an  occasion." 

•Dr.  Bulfinch  again  put  his  hand  to  his  chin,  while  he 
reflected. 

"  Did  I  hurt  you,  Thomas,  just  now?"  he  asked. 

"  Not  very  much,  sir." 

"  I  must  have  done  so,  Hopkins.  I  am  feeling  par- 
ticularly well  and  strong  this  afternoon.  And  you,  Pros- 
ser, I  dealt  strenuously  with  you,  my  boy,  did  I  not?" 


240  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  I've  had  it  worse,  sir,"  answered  Prosser  bravely. 

"  Hosea,"  said  the  Doctor,  turning  to  Blinn,  "  I  think 
I  bore  on  hardly  in  your  case." 

"  No,  sir,"  replied  Blinn,  with  an  almost  reckless 
purpose  to  be  cheerful,  "  I  didn't  even  feel  it." 

"  Hah !"  exclaimed  the  Doctor,  his  professional  in- 
stinct asserting  itself,  "  I  must  remember  that  when  you 
come  up  for  discipline.  You  had  nothing  under  your 
jacket,  Hosea,  for  you  were  not  expecting — " 

"  Not  a  thing,  sir." 

Dr.  Bulfinch  meditated  for  awhile,  and  at  last  he  said  : 

"  How  many  blows  did  I  strike  you,  Thomas  ?" 

"  Sixteen,  sir.     I  counted  them." 

The  Doctor  arose,  removed  his  coat  and  waistcoat, 
and  took  down  the  symbol  of  love  from  the  place 
above  the  mantel.  Handing  it  to  Polly  Hopkins  he 
said  : 

"  Thomas,  I  want  you  to  strike  me  sixteen  times  on 
the  back,  sixteen  for  yourself,  and  sixteen  each  for 
Prosser  and  Blinn.  Hit  hard,  Thomas,  I  must  suffer 
humiliation  for  the  wrong  I  did  you." 

When  the  presentation  committee  filed  out  of  the 
Doctor's  study  and  hurried  down  stairs,  there  was  not 
a  boy  of  the  three  who  did  not  feel  that  the  Complete 
Works  of  Shakespeare  in  sixteen  volumes  bound  in 
scarlet  and  gold  would  fail  to  represent  the  degree  of 
admiration  with  which  Dr.  Bulfinch's  pupils  should  re- 
gard him. 

On  one  of  the  last  days  of  the  session  an  unusually 
large  number  of  boys  waited  in  the  doctor's  study  at 
quarter  past  three  for  the  rod  which  could  not  be 
spared  without  spoiling  the  child. 

I  do  not  know  how  it  came  to  pass  that  the  victims 


THE   BLACK   SHEEP.  241 

were  so  many.  It  may  have  been  that  the  high  spirits 
produced  by  the  nearness  of  the  holidays  impelled  the 
boys  to  unusual  misconduct ;  it  may  have  been  that 
Dr.  Bulfinch  had  a  purpose  to  whip  the  boys  in  an 
anticipatory  manner,  so  to  speak ;  to  flog  them  ahead, 
to  cover  the  holidays,  so  that  the  faults  yet  uncom- 
mitted, but  latent  in  the  depraved  natures  of  his  pupils, 
should  have  retribution  prepared  for  them. 

At  any  rate,  the  boys  sat  upon  the  chairs  upon  that 
unfortunate  afternoon,  and  I  sat  with  them  to  prevent 
the  escape  of  any. 

While  Dr.  Bulfinch  was  engaged  in  punishing  one 
boy,  the  door  of  the  room  opened  and  Simon  Bulfinch 
appeared.  He  stood  and  watched  the  Doctor  for  one 
minute,  and  then  he  said : 

"  Swish,  swish,  swish  !  Flagello,  flagellare,  flagel- 
lavi,  flagellatum;  verb  of  the  first  conjugation,  signify- 
ing to  wallop.  Boys,  it  is  good  for  you ;  it  is  whole- 
some; wholesome  for  young  and  for  old.  Swish, 
swish,  swish !" 

Dr.  Bulfinch,  still  holding  the  boy  by  the  collar, 
suspended  the  whipping,  and,  with  a  white,  stern  face, 
turned  to  Simon. 

"  Don't  pause,  dominie,"  said  Simon,  smiling.  "  Give 
him  some  more.  Let  the  reign  of  love  continue  its 
gentle  sway.  You  are  waiting  for  your  turn,  Sprat, 
aren't  you  ?  Then  the  dominie  ought  to  have  a  turn." 

The  waiting  boys  looked  scared  as  the  intruder  con- 
tinued his  ribald  talk.  I  should  have  tried  to  thrust 
him  from  the  room,  but  the  Doctor  with  a  motion  of 
his  hand  restrained  me. 

"  Next  !"  exclaimed  Simon,  as  the  Doctor  released 
the  boy  he  had  been  whipping  and  sent  him  away. 

16 


242  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Come,  boys,  step  up  for  punishment ;  and  when  you 
have  all  been  punished  we  shall  see  about  punishing 
the  old  man.  His  turn  is  coming." 

"  Have  you  no  shame,  Simon  ?"  said  the  Doctor  at 
last.  "  Go  away  from  us,  and  stop  this  scandal." 

Simon  laughed,  and,  turning  to  the  boys,  he  said : 

"  You  would  think  him  a  nice  clean  old  Christian 
gentleman,  wouldn't  you  ?  Scandal,  boys !  If  we 
wanted  scandal  we  could  get  it  by  telling  on  him !" 

"  Leave  the  room,"  said  the  Doctor,  angrily. 

"  And  I  will  tell  on  him,"  continued  Simon.  "  Why, 
boys,  do  you  know  that  this  man  who  is  flogging  you 
stole  money  while  he  was  at  college — stole  it  with  that 
very  hand  that  holds  the  rod !" 

Dr.  Bulfinch  sat  down  by  the  table  and  buried  his 
face  in  his  hands. 

"  See !"  exclaimed  Simon,  "  he  doesn't  attempt  to 
deny  it.  He  can't  deny  it.  He  daren't  look  you  in  the 
face.  Boys,  what  do  you  think  ought  to  be  done  with 
a  thief  that  poses  as  a  saint  ?  Whip  him,  I  say." 

For  the  second  time  in  my  life  the  duty  devolved 
upon  me  of  casting  out  Simon  Bulfinch.  Without 
caring  for  what  the  Doctor  thought  I  seized  him  sud- 
denly and  flung  him  into  the  hall. 

The  Doctor  raised  his  head,  and  with  white,  trem- 
bling lips  he  said : 

"  Boys,  you  are  dismissed,"  and  the  scholars,  awe- 
struck and  silent,  went  out  of  the  room. 


boy  who  heard  the  accusation  made 
against  Dr.  Bulfinch  by  his  brother  Simon  helped  to 
spread  the  news  throughout  the  school,  and  the  schol- 
ars carried  it  to  the  village,  so  that  within  a  few  hours 
all  the  people  in  Happy  Hollow  knew  what  had  hap- 
pened. 

Most  of  them  were  disposed  to  regard  the  matter 
with  indifference  because  of  their  confidence  in  Dr. 
Bulfinch  and  their  knowledge  of  the  worthlessness  of 
Simon,  but  always  there  are  people  who  love  a  bit  of 
scandal  more  than  they  love  fair  play  and  people  whose 
experience  with  their  own  moral  constitutions  incline 
to  make  them  suspicious  of  any  man  who  has  a  reputa- 
tion for  uprightness. 

Besides,  this  report  of  the  Doctor's  misconduct  in 
early  life  came  to  the  ears  of  the  folks  in  Happy  Hol- 
low just  after  the  reports  had  crept  about  that  the 
Doctor  had  become  intemperate ;  and  what  more  nat- 
ural, some  people  said,  than  that  a  man  who  had  been 
dishonest  in  his  youth,  and  probably  also  intemperate, 

243 


244  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

should  find  at  last  the  effort  to  be  virtuous  too  much 
for  him,  and  should  begin  to  drop  backward  toward 
vice  ?  There  were  men  in  Happy  Hollow  who  in  their 
own  lives  had  found  virtue  slippery  to  the  fingers  and 
friendship  with  evil  entirely  easy  and  comfortable. 
Every  one  of  these  persons  believed  Dr.  Bulfinch  guilty, 
and  all  of  them  no  doubt  felt  a  little  glow  of  pleasure 
in  entertaining  that  belief.  When  you  are  weak  and 
foolish  and  wicked  it  is  agreeable  to  know  that  you  are 
not  lonely. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  had  true  friends  who  feared  that  the 
scandal  might  hurt  his  school,  and  there  were  brethren 
in  his  church  who,  wisely  or  unwisely,  considered  that 
the  Doctor's  church-membership  required  him  to  make 
some  answer  to  the  charge,  even  if  it  were  offered  by 
a  malignant  half-inebriate  vagabond. 

There  is  something  to  be  said  for  that  stern  system 
which  requires  a  professor  of  religion  to  keep  his  good 
name  spotless  or  else  to  give  an  account  of  himself  to 
his  fellow-professors ;  but  I  have  always  felt  that,  if  I 
should  be  called  to  sit  in  judgment  in  such  a  manner 
upon  a  human  creature,  I  should  be  so  filled  with  a 
sense  of  my  own  deficiencies  that  I  should  be  ashamed 
to  pretend  to  be  a  minister  of  justice. 

Dr.  Bulfinch  was  summoned  to  appear  before  a  tri- 
bunal composed  of  the  church  officers,  and  with  char- 
acteristic loyalty  and  humility  he  consented  to  obey 
the  call. 

"  I  came  late  to  the  session  that  night,"  said  Cossack, 
the  grocer,  in  giving  me  an  account  of  the  proceedings, 
"  and  so  I  didn't  hear  Doctor  Bulfinch's  statement ;  but 
the  presiding  officer  told  me  when  I  got  there  that  the 
Doctor  had  owned  up  to  taking  some  money  while  he 


ON  A  SUMMER   NIGHT.  245 

was  at  college.  It  was  this  way,"  continued  Cossack. 
"The  Doctor,  just  a  young  fellow,  you  know,  was 
treasurer  of  a  college  society,  and  this  rascal  Simon, 
his  brother,  came  along  and  made  him  believe  that 
Simon  would  have  to  go  to  prison  unless  he  could 
raise  a  hundred  and  twenty  dollars  quick.  And  Simon 
told  the  Doctor  that  if  he  would  let  him  have  it  he 
would  pay  it  back  in  two  weeks.  So  the  Doctor,  like 
a  fool,  hands  over  to  Simon  out  of  the  society  treasury 
the  dollars  he  wanted,  and  of  course  Simon  never  re- 
turned a  cent.  The  Doctor  tried  in  various  ways  to 
raise  the  money,  but  he  couldn't  do  it,  and  pretty  soon 
it  was  wanted  by  the  society,  and  the  Doctor  confessed 
and  they  turned  him  out. 

"  Very  well,  what  does  Dr.  Bulfinch  do  but  go  to 
work  in  a  saw-mill  or  somewhere  that  summer,  and 
earn  a  lot  of  money,  and  pay  the  society  back  two- 
fold— gave  'em  twice  as  much  as  he  took  ! 

"  Now,  Mr.  Sprat,  when  I  saw  the  poor  old  man 
setting  in  the  pew  there  at  the  meeting  with  his  eyes 
turned  to  the  floor  and  his  face  ghastly ;  and  when  I 
heard  that  he  never  really  stole  any  money,  but  was 
cheated  by  his  brother  because  he  wanted  to  show  a 
kindness,  and  then  actually  paid  back  double  the 
money,  I  couldn't  help  myself,  but  I  exclaimed  '  Gosh, 
brethren,  is  that  the  whole  of  it?  You're  not  going  to 
condemn  one  of  the  sheep  of  this  fold — a  holy  man — a 
saint,  I  think,  on  any  such  case  as  that  ?  I'm  not, 
any  way.  Paid  it  back  twice  !  Simple  interest'd  have 
squared  the  thing  in  the  grocery  trade  and  ended  it ; 
and  if  we  don't  call  it  square  and  stand  by  this  good 
man  we  ain't  fit  to  be  called  Christians  ?' 

"  That's   about  what   I   said,  and  said  it  warm,  too, 


246  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

and  the  poor  old  Doctor  a-setting  there  with  his  eyes 
shut  and  the  tears  just  bursting  from  under  the  lids  and 
a-rolling  down  his  cheeks.  Sprat,  if  you  and  I  were 
to  be  overhauled  by  a  church  committee  for  every 
little  crooked  thing  we've  ever  done,  where  would  we 
be,  Sprat  ?  Where  would  the  church  committee  be  ? 
I  know  where  some  of  'em  would  be.  There's  men 
among  'em,  Sprat,  that  wouldn't  bear  examination 
under  a  microscope;  just  forlorn  old  sinners,  like  you 
and  me  and  the  rest  of  us  ;  you  understand. 

"  Well,  sir,"  continued  Cossack,  gaining  in  earnest- 
ness ;  "  when  I  set  down  it  was  clear  enough  that  the 
meeting  was  going  to  let  the  Doctor  off  and  tell  the 
town  that  he  is  a  true  Christian  ;  but  what  does  brother 
Prosser  do  but  look  at  me  and  say :  '  I  now  move  that 
we  take  up  the  case  of  brother  Cossack,'  says  he,  '  and 
proceed  to  call  him  to  account.' 

"What  for?"  says  I. 

" '  For  saying  "  gosh  "  a  moment  ago/  says  he,  '  for 
saying  "  gosh"  in  this  sacred  edifice  at  a  solemn  meeting.' 
'What's  the  matter  with  "gosh"  ?'  I  asked.  '  It  is  a 
pagan  form  of  profanity,'  says  brother  Prosser,  '  used 
by  unbelievers  when  they  swear,  and  entirely  unbe- 
coming to  the  lips  of  an  officer  of  the  Christian  church.' 
He  -said  it  is  derived  from  Josh,  who  is  a  heathen  god 
in  China,  and  a  bad  sort  of  god  at  that. 

"  Well,  then,"  said  Cossack,  still  with  fervor  in  his 
manner,  "  I  up  and  says  :  '  "  Gosh  "  is  a  familiar  phrase 
in  the  grocery  trade,  and  as  harmless  as  the  prattle 
of  a  little  baby.  It  means  the  same  as  when  a  man 
says  "  My  !"  or  "  Do  tell !"  or  "  Well,  well,  well !"  or 
"  I  declare !"  or  any  other  innocent  exclamation  of  as- 
tonishment.' And  then  I  went  on  to  say  that  I'd  heard 


ON   A   SUMMER   NIGHT.  247 

it  used  in  Sunday-school  when  I  was  a  boy,  and  by 
ministers,  and  I'd  want  to  hear  some  better  reason 
than  brother  Prosser's  guess  about  a  Chinese  josh 
before  I'd  take  it  back  or  apologize. 

"And  then  Dr.  Love  he  asks,  'What  Sunday-school 
did  you  hear  it  in,  brother  Cossack,  and  what  minister 
have  you  known  to  use  it  ?'  and  I  said  I'd  wait  until 
my  case  came  up  before  I  put  in  my  evidence ;  for  to 
tell  the  truth  I  don't  exactly  remember  the  particulars 
about  the  Sunday-school  and  the  ministers,  although 
I'm  positively  certain  about  it,  and  the  facts  may  come 
to  my  mind,  and  besides,  I  wasn't  going  to  be  caught 
in  a  trap. 

"And  then,  to  wind  the  thing  up,  I  says :  'And  any- 
how, Dr.  Love  and  brethren,  there's  been  fuss  enough 
in  the  churches  over  the  Deuteronomy  business,  for  I 
nearly  got  into  a  fight  about  it  myself  with  Brindle  of 
the  Episcopalians ;  and  then  there  was  a  row  over  Mrs. 
Guff's  singing;  and  now  if  you're  going  to  try  to  disci- 
pline a  faithful  member  who  tries  to  do  right  and  to 
live  up  to  his  profession,  because  in  a  moment  of 
excitement  caused  by  the  persecution  of  an  innocent 
man  he  happens  to  use  a  harmless,  little,  playful  word 
like  "gosh,"  it  seems  to  me  there's  just  no  use  at  all 
trying  to  have  peace  and  brotherly  love.' 

"'What  I  say,'  says  I,  going  right  on  and  freeing 
my  mind,  '  is,  let's  disband  the  church  and  fight  it  out 
like  the  world's  people.  Let's  sand  our  sugar  and 
water  our  syrup  and  put  bread-crumbs  in  our  black 
pepper,  and  sell  intoxicating  liquors  by  the  jugful.' 

"  Then  Dr.  Love  advised  to  let  the  matter  drop,  and 
we  all  went  over  and  shook  hands  with  poor  Dr.  Bui- 
finch,  who  was  very  hearty  with  me,  and  I  told  brother 


248  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Prosser  that  what  he  wanted,  besides  more  grace,  was 
to  steer  for  home  and  look  up  '  gosh '  in  the  encyclope- 
dia, or  one  of  those  all-round  dictionaries." 

This  was  Cossack's  version  of  the  stoiy  of  the  full 
acquittal  of  Dr.  Bulfinch.  The  Doctor  himself  never 
spoke  to  me  upon  the  subject.  He  was  acquitted  by 
the  church,  but  I  could  perceive  that  the  whole  business 
had  brought  anguish  to  the  soul  of  the  good  old  man. 

He  was  the  kind  of  man  to  keep  his  sorrows  to 
himself  and  bravely  to  bear  his  own  burdens.  But 
who  indeed  can  give  much  help  in  such  a  case  to  the 
burden-bearer?  And  then,  just  at  that  time  I  was  sel- 
fishly busy  with  an  important  matter  of  my  own,  and 
in  youth  the  sorrows  of  others  sit  lightly  upon  us  if 
our  minds  are  filled  with  our  own  delights.  In  truth, 
I  was  much  occupied  during  the  week  in  which  the 
trial  was  held  by  consideration  of  my  feelings  for 
Ruby,  and  of  the  methods  by  which  I  might  properly 
express  them. 

Our  house  faced  the  street,  with  a  little  space  be- 
tween the  front  door  and  the  gate.  At  the  side  of  the 
house,  as  I  have  already  said,  was  a  covered  porch, 
stretching  the  length  of  the  building  and  looking  out 
over  a  lovely  garden,  with  clumps  of  trees  and  shrubs, 
and  here  and  there  a  bed  for  flowers. 

I  sat  in  a  rocking-chair  upon  the  porch  one  sweet 
summer  evening  with  Mrs.  Bantam  not  far  from  me, 
and  Ruby  in  the  chair  midway  between.  After  a  time 
Mrs.  Bantam  left  us  and  went  over  to  the  house  of  the 
neighbor  next  door  to  make  a  little  visit ;  so  Ruby  and 
I  were  there  with  no  one  near. 

It  was  a  perfect  night.  The  soft  wind  came  up  from 
the  southwest  and  blew  upon  us,  carrying  the  fragrance 


ON   A   SUMMER   NIGHT.  249 

of  the  roses  in  the  garden,  and  gently  rustling  the 
leaves  of  the  trees  and  the  vines  that  overcrept  the 
trellis  upon  the  porch-pillars. 

There  was  not  complete  darkness,  for  the  stars  were 
out,  and  there  was  a  faint  glimmer  of  the  street  lamps 
a  hundred  yards  away ;  but  there  was  silence,  except- 
ing when  we  heard  the  tinkling  of  the  bells  of  the 
car-horses  down  the  street;  or  the  rattle  of  a  light 
vehicle  which  swept  quickly  by  our  house ;  or  the  step 
of  a  pedestrian.  The  katydids  and  the  crickets  chirped 
among  the  trees,  and  now  and  then  a  tree-frog  sent 
forth  his  harsh  note ;  but  the  hush  of  the  night  was 
upon  us  save  for  these  intermittent  sounds,  and  as  I 
sat  there  alone  with  the  woman  I  loved  so  much  I  felt 
sure  the  time  had  come  to  discover  if  indeed  she  loved 
me  as  I  hoped. 

Ruby  was  in  good  spirits,  full  of  laughter  and  bright 
talk,  and  without  any  thought  that  serious  things  were 
to  be  said  to  her. 

We  spoke  of  all  the  people  of  this  story  who  were 
dear  to  us ;  of  Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam,  of  Julie  and 
Spiker  and  Elmira,  and  laughed  a  little  bit  about  Aunty 
Bantam's  affectionate  enthusiasm  for  her  husband.  And 
then  we  turned  the  conversation  somehow  to  the  differ- 
ence in  age  of  some  of  our  married  friends. 

"  And  how  old  do  you  think  I  am  ?"  I  asked  Ruby 
at  last. 

She  laughed  lightly  and  said,  half  in  fun,  but  speak- 
ing as  she  had  been  used  to  speak  of  that  matter : 

"  You  seem  very,  very  old  to  me." 

I  was  vexed.  "  I  don't  want  you  to  think  me  old," 
I  said.  "  I  am  but  twenty-nine,  and  that  is  only  ten 
years  older  than  you  are." 


250  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Only  ten  years !"  she  exclaimed.  "  But  that  is 
very  much  older,  isn't  it  ?  I  feel  as  if  I  should  be 
ready  for  gray  hairs  in  ten  years." 

"  Nonsense,  Ruby  !  Twenty-nine  is  a  charming  age 
for  a  woman.  She  is  young,  but  she  is  mature,  and 
with  her  character  formed.  A  man  and  his  wife  should 
have  just  about  that  difference  between  them,"  I 
ventured  to  say. 

"  It  is  too  much,"  she  said  demurely. 

"  What  difference  do  you  think  is  best  ?" 

For  a  moment  she  did  not  answer.     Then  she  said: 

"Truly  I  think  it  is  unimportant.  But,  indeed,  I 
know  nothing  at  all  about  it.  How  should  I  know  ?" 

"  It  can  make  no  difference,"  I  said,  "  if  they  love 
one  another,  can  it  ?" 

"  I  suppose  not,"  she  answered,  "  but  I  cannot  tell." 
Her  voice  had  fallen  low.  She  suspected  that  I  had  a 
purpose  in  such  talk ;  and  then  she  said  nervously,  "  I 
wish  aunty  would  come  home." 

But  I  was  resolved  not  to  permit  this  opportunity  to 
pass  by  unimproved.  I  would  know  the  best  or  the 
worst  before  we  parted. 

"  Ruby,"  I  said,  "  shall  the  difference  in  years  shut 
me  out  from  you  ?  I  love  you,  my  dear." 

Her  answer  was  to  put  her  hands  quickly  over  her 
face  and  to  begin  to  cry. 

I  never  know  what  to  do  when  a  woman  cries  in  that 
manner.  Why  does  she  not  speak  ?  Does  she  mean 
yes  or  no?-  or  that  she  cannot  decide?  or  that  she  is 
hurt  or  pleased,  or  just  torn  up  about  it?  Women  cry 
for  so  many  different  reasons. 

But,  having  spoken  my  mind  and  my  heart,  I  could 
not  be  silent  further. 


ON   A   SUMMER   NIGHT.  251 

"  Do  not  cry,"  I  said.  "  I  cannot  tell  if  I  have  hurt 
you  or  made  you  happy.  I  love  you  dearly,  my  Ruby. 
From  the  very  first;  when  I  saw  you  in  the  green 
room ;  when  you  walked  with  me  to  school ;  out  on 
the  mountain,  where  I  was  mad  to  risk  your  life  that  I 
might  have  the  sweetness  of  your  company.  I  love 
you  now  more  than  ever,  and  you  will  come  with  me 
and  be  mine,  won't  you  dear  ?" 

"  It  cannot,  cannot  be  !  Never !"  she  said,  sobbing, 
and  with  her  face  still  covered  by  her  hands. 

"  You  do  not  say  you  do  not  love  me,"  I  said.  "  You 
cannot  say  that.  I  shall  not  despair  until  you  do  say 
it." 

"  Do  not  urge  me,"  she  said.  "  Oh,  be  kind  to  me 
as  you  always  were.  Pity  me.  I  cannot  answer  you." 

"  How  can  I  hold  my  peace  ?"  I  said.  "  Be  my  wife, 
Ruby  dear,  and  I  will  make  your  life  happy." 

"  I  know  you  would  try  to  do  so,"  she  said,  taking 
her  hands  from  her  face.  "  You  are  a  kind,  good  man. 
You  have  always  given  me  more  than  I  deserve.  I 
owe  you  so  much.  How  can  I  grieve  you  ?" 

"  You  owe  me  nothing,"  I  answered.  "  There  is  no 
question  of  obligation.  If  you  love  me,  you  love  me. 
If  you  do  not,  it  is  better  that  I  should  have  you  say 
so  now,  however  painful  the  words  may  be." 

"  I  cannot  accept  your  love.  That  is  all  I  can  say," 
she  answered,  with  her  voice  full  of  tearfulness.  "  But 
please,  oh,  please,  do  not  let  this  take  from  me  your 
friendship.  Let  us  be  always  as  we  have  been.  Let 
us  forget  that  you  spoke  to  me.  Some  day  I  can  tell 
you  all.  But  not  now  !  Not  now  !" 

I  took  her  hand  and  kissed  it,  and  she  was  willing 
that  it  should  linger  for  a  moment  in  mine. 


252  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

I  was  filled  with  grief  and  disappointment,  but  hope 
was  far  from  gone.  Sitting  there  with  her  I  could  not 
measure  her  words  or  consider  the  situation  with  a 
clear  mind,  but,  overpowering  every  other  thought  and 
feeling,  was  the  remembrance  that  she  had  not  said  that 
she  did  not  love  me. 

And  she  wished  me  to  be  with  her  still  as  a  friend, 
a  helper,  and  a  companion. 

I  saw  plainly  enough,  when  I  had  time  for  reflection 
upon  the  matter,  that  a  woman  who  felt  no  and  meant 
no,  would  have  said  no.  Either  Ruby  was  uncertain 
about  herself,  or  she  loved  me  and  had  some  reason 
for  concealing  the  fact. 

I  was  not  sorry  that  Mrs.  Bantam  should  return  to 
us  almost  as  soon  as  Ruby  had  finished  speaking  the 
words  that  I  have  quoted. 

The  old  lady  suspected  nothing,  and  as  she  had 
much  to  say,  the  way  was  made  easy  for  Ruby  and  for 
me  to  speak  now  and  then  of  common  things. 

But  what  perverse  spirit  infested  Mrs.  Bantam's  mind 
and  impelled  her  presently  to  say : 

"  I  called  at  Mrs.  Purvis- Hyde's  this  afternoon,  Ruby, 
and  she  asked  in  the  kindest  manner  about  you.  She 
inquired  about  Mr.  Sprat,  also,  in  what  seemed  to  me 
a  most  interesting  way.  Why  don't  you  spend  an 
evening  there  sometimes,  Mr.  Sprat?  It  would  be 
lovely.  She  is  a  gifted  woman,  and  she  adores  intel- 
lect She  told  me  so." 

"  She  is  a  charming  woman,"  I  said. 

"  Perfectly  charming,  and  quite  equal  to  the  most 
advanced  thought.  She  makes  an  idol  of  culture,  and 
yearns  for  the  society  of  the  gifted — of  children  of 
genius." 


ON   A   SUMMER   NIGHT.  253 

"  But  I  am  not  gifted ;  and  then,  she  is  much  older 
than  I  am." 

"  Not  much,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  persuasively. 
"  Only  a  few  years.  Perhaps  ten  or  fifteen.  And  ten 
years'  difference  is  very  little,  isn't  it,  Ruby,  my 
love?" 

Ruby  scarcely  murmured  a  reply  that  I  did  not 
hear. 

"  You  wrong  yourself,  dear  Mr.  Sprat,"  persisted 
Mrs.  Bantam.  "  To  find  both  a  mother  and  a  wife  in 
one  lovely  intellectual  woman  would  be  a  twofold 
delight.  I  say  nothing  of  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  large 
financial  resources.  Gold  is  but  dross  when  love 
reigns.  You  need  love  in  your  young  life,  dear  friend. 
It  would  lift  you  to  a  higher  plane.  What  shall  we 
say  of  life  without  love  ?  What  shall  we  say?  Merely 
that  it  is  a  form  of  death.  Shall  I  begin  the  campaign 
for  you  ?  Would  you  be  willing  that  I  should  with 
the  greatest  delicacy  and  discretion  try  to  ascertain 
what  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  feeling  for  you  is  ?  She  will 
reveal  herself  to  me." 

I  entreated  Mrs.  Bantam  not  to  engage  in  such  an 
investigation,  and  so  she  passed  to  other  subjects  of 
conversation,  until  at  last  the  time  came  for  aunt  and 
niece  to  retire. 

Mrs.  Bantam  went  bustling  into  the  house  when  she 
had  said  good-night ;  but  Ruby  lingered  for  an  instant 
as  she  reached  the  open  door,  and  extending  her  hand 
to  me,  while  she  smiled  as  if  she  could  hardly  refrain 
from  weeping,  she  said  : 

"  Good-night,  my  dear  friend,  I  thank  you  so  much 
for  your  friendship.  Forgive  me  if  I  have  wounded 
you.  Oh,  forgive  me  !" 


254  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

And  then  I  kissed  her  hand  again  and  said  : 

"  Good-night,  Ruby  !  Even  your  friendship  is  pre- 
cious to  me.  Good-night !"  and  she  went  away  from  me. 

I  had  time  enough  in  which  to  reflect  upon  her 
words  and  my  own  situation.  For  I  sat  there  during 
several  hours;  and  while  the  night  grew  stiller  and 
the  south  wind  swept  more  strongly  across  the  garden, 
and  the  belated  gibbous  moon,  creeping  slowly  upward, 
threw  faint  shadows  and  little  glints  of  soft  light  upon 
the  lawn,  I  said  to  myself  that  I  should  have  Ruby  for 
my  wife. 

I  knew  nothing  of  such  matters  from  experience, 
and  I  had  no  vain  feeling  about  my  powers  of  attrac- 
tion ;  but  every  man  has  sometimes,  deep  down  in  that 
mysterious  consciousness  which  does  not  deal  with 
logic  and  which  is  not  subject  to  direct  control,  con- 
victions which  are  immovable ;  and  there  my  immov- 
able conviction  was  that  I  should  win  my  sweetheart 
at  last. 

It  was  past  midnight  when  I  rose  from  my  chair  to 
enter  the  house.  The  night  was  so  lovely  that  I  had 
an  impulse  to  linger  upon  the  porch ;  but  I  resisted  it, 
and  turned  away  from  the  shrubbery  and  the  moon- 
light and  the  fragrance  of  the  flowers.  As  I  placed 
my  hand  upon  the  latch  of  the  door  I  was  startled  by 
two  reports  of  a  pistol,  followed  by  the  scream  of  a 
man's  voice,  and  the  sounds  seemed  to  come  from  a 
place  not  far  away. 

While  I  hesitated  whether  to  go  into  the  house  or  to 
try  to  discover  what  had  happened,  two  men  hurried 
by  me  in  the  street,  plainly  bent  upon  investigation, 
and  at  once  I  went  out  and  followed  them. 

We  had  not  walked  two  blocks  away  before  we  saw 


ON  A  SUMMER   NIGHT.  255 

a  man  lying  flat  upon  the  pavement,  while  by  him  stood 
'Lias  Guff  holding  another  man,  and  two  great  dogs 
ran  around  and  about  the  group,  sniffing  the  pavement, 
wagging  their  tails,  and  now  and  then  barking  in  a 
queer,  half-muffled  way. 

"  I  was  a-layin'  in  on  Prosser's  porch,"  said  'Lias 
Guff,  when  we  asked  him  what  was  the  matter,  "  and  I 
guess  I  must  have  fell  asleep,  for  when  I  feel  sleepy  I 
always  gits  out  of  the  moonlight  so  it  won't  blacken 
my  face,  and  while  I  was  layin'  there  either  asleep  or 
thinkin'  about  something  them  dogs  begun  to  bark,  and 
I  set  up,  and  the  fus'  thing  I  knowed,  out  comes  that 
man  on  the  pavement  there  through  Prosser's  side 
winder  yer,  and  this  man  a-follerin'  him,  skeered,  I 
reckon,  by  the  dogs  a-barkin*. 

"  So  then  I  hollered  for  that  man  there  to  stop,  but 
he  didn't,  and  this  man  didn't,  so  I  drawed  my  pistol, 
not  ezzackly  intendin'  to  fire  at  him,  but  before  I 
knowed  it,  somehow,  the  thing  went  off,  and  that  man 
dropped ;  I  must  a  hit  him  by  accident ;  and  them 
dogs  jumped  on  this  man  and  would've  e't  him  if  I 
hadn't  come  up  and  pulled  'em  off.  They  was  tryin' 
to  rob  Mr.  Prosser's  house,  and  they  would  have  robbed 
it  if  me  and  the  dogs  hadn't  been  yer  tryin'  to  keep 
out  of  the  moonlight,  all  good  and  ready  for  burglars  ; 
and  if  you  want  to  know  whose  been  a  burglin'  in  this 
yer  town  you  don't  have  to  look  fur,  for  there  is  the 
men." 

Prosser  and  half  a  dozen  of  the  neighbors  were  out 

o 

in  the  street  by  this  time,  and  as  we  gathered  about  the 
cowering  wretch  who  stood  helpless  in  the  grasp  of 
the  big  policeman,  we  were  all  astonished  to  find  that 
it  was  Felix  Acorn,  our  barber. 


256 


IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 


Then  we  turned  to  the  man  who  lay  prone  upon  the 
sidewalk.  When  we  touched  him  we  thought  him 
dead,  and  so  he  was.  Two  of  us  lifted  him  to  look  at 
his  face,  and  it  was  the  face  of  Simon  Bulfinch.  That 
career  of  guilt  and  shame  was  ended.  We  placed  the 
body  upon  Prosser's  porch  until  daylight  should  come, 

and  then  Felix 
Acorn  was  led 
away  to  the 
lock-up.  He 
was  sullen  and 
not  inclined  to 
talk,  but  he 
did  say : 

"  Simon  led 
me  into  it.     I 
didn't  do  noth- 
in'.      He    did 
all  the  burglin'.     I  had 
to    be    imposed    on,    as 
usual.     I'm  always  im- 
posed on.     There  is  no 
fair  play,  nowheres,  nor 
no    chance   for   a   poor 
man." 

The  burglars.  As  'Lias    led   him   UP 

the  steps  of  the  station- 
house  and  began  to  open  the  door,  Felix  turned  about, 
and  looking  at  the  dogs  which  stood  behind  him  as 
if  to  guard  him  while  'Lias  fumbled  with  the  keys,  he 
said  to  me,  sadly : 

"  Say,  Mr.  Sprat,  them's  no  bloodhounds  ;  and  blood- 
hounds is  not  bloody;  and  real  bloodhounds  is  not 


ON   A   SUMMER   NIGHT.  257 

hounds  at  all;  they're  mastiffs.     It's  just  all  humbug, 
like  everything  else." 

Then  Felix  Acorn  went  into  his  cell,  and  I  walked 
homeward,  not  sorry  indeed  that,  even  through  shame- 
ful, sorrowful  means,  Dr.  Bulfinch  should  be  forever 
relieved  of  the  burden  that  his  brother  Simon  had  im- 
posed upon  his  life.  • 

17 


in  June  Madame  Bertolet's  Acad- 
emy for  supplying  higher  education  to  young  ladies 
under  exclusively  church  influences  concluded  its  ope- 
rations for  the  school-year,  and  Ruby  went  off  at  once 
to  Hawksmere.  She^went  thither  with  Mrs.  Purvis- 
Hyde  and  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  companions  and  retinue, 
including  her  coachman  and  the  prancing  horses  with 
the  jingling  chains,  to  remain  until  September. 

And  so  our  house  for  me  was  desolate.  Julie  stayed 
with  us,  for  some  reason  unknown  to  me ;  perhaps  her 
duties  upon  the  Defender  restrained  her ;  perhaps  she 
was  kept  at  home  by  dislike  for  dependence  upon  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde's  hospitality;  but  while  she  and  Mrs. 
Bantam  and  Elmira  and  the  Colonel  and  Emerson 
Spiker  were  not  poor  company,  I  found  domestic  life 
almost  devoid  of  interest  if  Ruby  were  not  with  us  to 
participate  in  it. 

The  first  dividend  of  the  Happy  Hollow  Improve- 
ment Company  was  due  in  September,  and  the  sur- 
face-indications in  June  were  that  it  would  have  large 
proportions.  Colonel  Bantam's  expectations  regarding 
258 


A   STORM    IN   THE    HOUSEHOLD.     259 

it  were,  however,  exaggerated  beyond  the  point  of 
reasonableness,  and  long  before  September  came  he 
had  expended,  in  imagination,  an  amount  of  money 
far  exceeding  the  total  cash  value  of  his  blocks  of 
stock. 

What  a  happy  provision  of  nature  it  is  that  men  who 
can  never  learn  how  to  accumulate  wealth,  nearly  al- 
ways have  that  hopeful  disposition  which  permits  them 
to  enjoy  continually  receding  expectations  of  wealth ! 

One  evening,  when  all  of  us  but  Elmira  Bantam 
were  at  home  and  upon  the  porch  in  the  coolness 
and  the  darkness,  Colonel  Bantam  entered  the  house, 
lighted  the  gas  in  the  library,  and  in  a  few  moments 
asked  us  to  come  in  and  inspect  some  drawings  he 
had  had  prepared. 

The  drawings,  of  crayon,  were  placed  upon  the 
mantel  and  upon  the  centre-table  in  positions  which 
permitted  them  to  be  seen  to  advantage.  They  rep- 
resented a  design  for  a  statue  of  Colonel  Bantam  as 
Mars,  the  god  of  war;  a  sketch  for  a  marble  group 
in  which  Colonel  Bantam  figured  as  the  angel  of 
mercy,  setting  the  prisoners  free  (in  his  capacity  as 
magistrate) ;  a  drawing  for  a  painting  showing  Colonel 
Bantam  advising  President  Lincoln  about  the  Emanci- 
pation Proclamation,  and  presenting  the  Colonel  in  full 
length  with  his  face  to  the  spectator,  while  the  Presi- 
dent was  crouched  in  a  chair  and  half  hidden  by  the 
Colonel's  figure;  another  drawing  for  a  great  picture 
representing  Colonel  Bantam  holding  the  Bloody  Angle 
at  Gettysburg,  and  plainly  indicating  that  our  brave 
soldier  had  been  almost  completely  deserted  by  his 
comrades  upon  that  exciting  occasion ;  a  sketch  for  a 
full  length  portrait  of  Colonel  Bantam  which  should 


26o  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

be  hung  in  the  Mayor's  office,  and  a  design  for  a 
marble  mausoleum  in  which  the  Colonel  would  have 
his  war-worn  remains  deposited  when  the  battle  of  life 
for  him  should  be  ended. 

We  examined  these  drawings  with  much  interest, 
while  the  Colonel  explained  to  us  that  he  had  induced 
an  artist  in  the  city  to  prepare  them  for  him,  so  that  he 
could  give  the  orders  for  the  groups  and  the  pictures 
and  the  mausoleum  to  the  sculptors  and  the  artists  so 
soon  as  the  dividends  of  the  Happy  Hollow  Improve- 
ment Company  should  be  paid  and  pocketed. 

"  My  thought,  Edith,  my  love,"  he  said  to  Mrs. 
Bantam,  "was  to  have  the  mausoleum  made  large 
enough  for  two,  so  that  in  death  we  should  not  be 
divided ;  and  to  have  a  medallion  upon  the  arch  over 
the  door,  bearing  your  profile  and  mine.  Do  you  care, 
love,  whether  the  accompanying  inscription  is  just 
'  Bantam,'  or  a  monogram  indicating  '  J.  and  E.  Ban- 
tam '  ?  The  mere  name  of  Bantam,  I  think,  is  glorious 
enough.  If  I  should  go  first — " 

"  Oh,  do  not  speak  of  going  first,  Joseph,"  said  Mrs. 
Bantam,  immediately  giving  promise  of  tears  and  de- 
rangement of  her  back  hair.  "When  you  go  I  go. 
I  shall  not  survive  you  an  hour." 

"  The  angel  in  that  picture  has  very  large  wings," 
said  Miss  Mortimer,  in  a  spirit  possibly  too  critical. 

"  Wings !"  exclaimed  Colonel  Bantam.  "  Necessarily 
wings.  How  else  will  you  indicate  the  angelic  nature  ? 
Real  angels  may  not  possess  pinions  of  that  type,  and 
if  you  press  me  closely  I  might  be  compelled  to  con- 
fess that  they  are  an  anatomical  impossibility ;  but  we 
must-  yield  in  a  measure  to  convention.  Omit  the  wings 
from  that  picture  and  Joseph  Bantam  would  present 


A  STORM    IN   THE   HOUSEHOLD.      261 

the  unseemly  spectacle  of  releasing  prisoners  while  he 
wore  something  like  a  bath-robe." 

Miss  Mortimer  very  good-naturedly  acquiesced  in 
the  Colonel's  opinions. 

"The  wings,"  he  said,  "  might  be  abbreviated,  and 
they  might  be  expanded,  and  the  rather  pronounced 
appearance  of  feathers  might  be  softened  down ;  but 
when  you  remove  the  wings  from  that  picture  you 
surrender  the  whole  case ;  you  lose  everything." 

"  There  were  other  Union  soldiers  at  Gettysburg,"  I 
ventured  to  remark,  as  I  examined  the  picture  of  the 
frightful  conflict  at  the  Bloody  Angle. 

Colonel  Bantam  frowned.  "  Others,  of  course,"  he 
said.  "  Some  others.  But  they  were  not  in  focus  in 
the  picture;  and  besides,  in  a  work  of  art  of  this  nature, 
what  one  wants  is  definiteness.  Fill  the  centre  of  the 
picture  with  a  miscellaneous  jumble  of  figures,  and  the 
mind  is  confused.  It  can  hold  on  to  nothing.  My 
picture  of  the  incident  represents  me  with  historical 
accuracy.  If  other  men  want  to  have  themselves  rep- 
resented, no  doubt  there  are  artists  who  can  be  bribed 
to  do  it ;  artists  who  are  accustomed  to  dealing  in  a 
reckless  manner  with  fact." 

I  am  truly  sorry  Emerson  Spiker  should  have  come 
in  while  we  were  examining  the  pictures.  Our  house- 
hold had  always  been  fairly  harmonious,  but  already  a 
feeling  of  bitterness  had  appeared  between  the  Colonel 
and  the  editor,  *and  both  had  got  into  a  frame  of 
mind  that  made  them  indifferent  to  one  another's  sen- 
timents. . 

When  Mr.  Spiker  had  glanced  at  the  drawings  he 
laughed  in  a  manner  which  the  Colonel  was  quick  to 
resent. 


262 


IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 


Spiker's  idea  of  a  monument 
for  the  Colonel. 


"  There  would  seem  to  be,  sir,"  said  the  Colonel,  with 
a  dangerous  look  in  his  eyes, "  but  little  in  these  admira- 
ble works  of  the  artist  to  supply  inspiration  to  hilarity. 

May  I  ask,  sir,  the  precise 
nature  of  the  provocation  to 
this,  I  had  almost  said  indecent, 
outburst  of  mirthfulness  ?" 

Mr.  Spiker  did  not  make 
direct  reply.  Turning  to  Miss 
Mortimer,  he  said : 

"  Now,  if  you  had  those 
wings  there  would  be  a  delight- 
ful picture;  but  Bantam — " 

•"Well,  sir;  but  Bantam! 
What  about  Bantam?"  de- 
manded the  Colonel  angrily. 
"  Are  all  angels  women  ?  What  do  you  know  about 
angels  ?  I  should  like  to  have  you  understand,  Mr. 
Spiker,  that  when  an  old  soldier  of  the  Republic  takes 
a  fancy  to  have  wings  he  will  have  wings ;  as  many 
wings  as  he  wants ;  four  wings  ;  sixteen  wings  ;  fourteen 
hundred  thousand  wings ;  without  condescending  to 
obtain  the  permission  of  a  mere  journalist,  sir!" 

Mrs.  Bantam,  lifting  her  hand  to  steady  her  hair,  sat 
down  upon  the  sofa  and  began  softly  to  cry. 

"  Is  that  a  church,  Sprat,"  asked  Spiker,  pointing  to 
the  design  for  a  mausoleum,  "  or  is  it  a  design  for  a 
new  opera  house  ?" 

"  It  is  a  mausoleum,"  I  said ;  and  that  I  might  help 
to  restore  good  feeling,  I  added,  "  and  a  very  handsome 
one,  too." 

Mr.  Spiker  continued  to  find  in  the  exhibition  food 
for  amusement. 


A   STORM    IN    THE   HOUSEHOLD.     263 

"  It  is  my  mausoleum,  sir,"  said  the  Colonel  sternly, 
and  with  the  air  of  a  man  whose  temper,  loosed  from 
restraint,  would  soon  impel  him  to  do  rash  and  dread- 
ful things.  "  Mine  and  Mrs.  Bantam's.  Do  you  find 
it  stimulating  to  the  risibilities,  sir?  Is  it  supremely 
and  unbearably  ridiculous  to  you,  sir,  that  a  scarred 
and  maimed  veteran  of  the  Civil  War  should  prefer  to 
be  interred  under  circumstances  of  distinction  in  an 
honorable  tomb  than  to  be  chucked  under  ground,  as 
you  probably  will  be,  sir  ? — and  the  sooner  the  better 
in  my  opinion." 

"  Absurd !"  said  Mr.  Spiker  to  me,  without  looking 
at  the  Colonel. 

For  just  a  moment  Colonel  Bantam,  livid  with  rage, 
hesitated ;  then  with  a  sweep  or  two  of  his  arm  he 
gathered  the  pictures  into  a  bunch  and  rushed  into  the 
street,  slamming  the  front  door  with  such  violence  that 
the  house  trembled. 

Leaving  Julie  to  console  Mrs.  Bantam,  who  sobbed 
while  she  struggled  to  push  her  hair  from  her  face,  I 
went  again  upon  the  porch,  rather  angry  indeed  with 
Spiker  for  irritating  the  Colonel  so  needlessly  and 
cruelly. 

The  next  morning  Spiker  received  from  Colonel  Ban- 
tam a  fiery  letter,  in  which  the  Colonel  conveyed  an 
intimation  that  unless  the  editor  should  speedily  supply 
a  written  apology  for  his  insolent  conduct,  he  would 
be  challenged  to  meet  the  Colonel  upon  the  field  of 
honor. 

To  this  Mr.  Spiker  sent  an  insolent  and  irritating 
reply ;  which  evoked  a  more  furious  letter  from  the 
Colonel.  The  correspondence  continued  for  several 
days,  each  of  the  combatants  covering  pages  of  paper 


264  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

with  acrimonious  language,  and  meeting  three  times  a 
day  at  our  table,  where  they  refrained  from  speaking  to 
one  another. 

This  was  very  trying  to  me  and  for  the  ladies  of  the 
household,  but  Julie  and  I  and  Elinira  endeavored  to 
maintain  a  cheerful  spirit  and  good-humored  conversa- 
tion for  the  sake  of  Mrs.  Bantam,  whose  despondency 
kept  her  always  upon  the  very  edge  of  tearfulness. 

The  Colonel  spoke  little,  but  said  grace  with  much 
less  than  usual  fervor,  and  then  he  would  savagely 
thrust  the  fork  into  the  chicken  and  assail  the  joints 
of  the  fowl  with  the  knife  with  an  air  of  ferocity  that 
would  have  diminished  an  appetite  less  keen  than  mine. 
When  he  helped  Spiker,  he  always  had  the  plate  passed 
first  to  me,  under  the  rather  hollow  pretence  of  ignor- 
ing the  editor. 

As  Spiker's  soul  was  bitter,  and  the  Colonel  had  no 
notion  of  forgiveness,  I  felt  that  the  affair  would  reach 
a  very  disagreeable  climax.  It  came  in  an  unexpected 
manner. 

One  day  Spiker  gave  in  the  Defender  what  pre- 
tended to  be  a  laudatory  description  of  the  Colonel's 
drawings  and  of  his  military  career,  but  was  plainly 
intended  to  ridicule  the  designs  and  his  pretensions  as 
a  soldier.  Accompanying  the  article  was  a  reproduc- 
tion of  an  advertisement  from  a  magazine  sixty  odd 
years  old  which  Spiker  had  found  in  an  old  book-store 
in  the  city.  It  was  an  advertisement  of  Perrine's  food 
for  infants,  and  it  contained  a  picture  styled  "A  Per- 
rine's Food  Child,"  representing  "Joseph  Bantam  at 
the  age  of  two  "  vainly  trying  to  bite  his  own  toe. 

Colonel  Bantam  was  almost  insane  with  rage  when 
he  saw  this  unkind  article  and  the  picture ;  but  there 


A  STORM   IN   THE   HOUSEHOLD.     265 


was  something  worse  for  him  in  the  paper.  On  that 
same  day,  under  the  head  of  "  Personals,"  the  following 
words  appeared : 

"J.  B:     Your  darling  letter  received. 
My  love  for  you  unabated." 

Mrs.  Bantam,  unhappily,  saw  this  ad- 
vertisement, and  most  unreason- 
ably leaped   to   the    conclusion 
that    it   was    addressed    to    the 
Colonel. 

She  would  not  be  comforted ; 
but  she  did  not  expend 
herself  upon  grief.  From 
'Lias  Guff,  who  had  often 
talked  to  her  of  such 
things,  she  obtained  a 
love-philter  which  she 
placed  one  morning  in 
the  Colonel's  coffee,  de- 
termined at  any  hazard  to  hold  him  faithful  to  her. 

The  Colonel  found  the  taste  unusual,  and  upon  his 
peremptory  demand  that  he  should  be  informed  of  the 
reason,  Mrs.  Bantam  fell  upon  the  floor,  vociferously 
weeping,  and  confessed  her  guilt. 

Colonel  Bantam,  very  white,  looked  at  her  lying 
prostrate,  and  hardened  his  heart.  Steadying  himself 
by  holding  the  back  of  a  chair,  he  said : 

"This  ends  it.  The  die  is  cast.  All  is  over.  I 
shall  be  a  fugitive  from  my  own  domicile.  I  am  not 
insensible  to  the  impulses  of  affection,  but  I  sternly 
refuse  to  permit  my  higher  emotions  to  be  stimulated 
by  the  action  of  chemicals  upon  my  digestive  tract !" 

Then  the  Colonel  walked  with  a  lofty  air  to  the  hall- 


APerrine's  Food  Child.' 


266  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

way,  took  his  hat  from  the  hook  and  vanished.  He 
began  to  lodge  in  a  room  adjoining  the  Mayor's  office, 
and  Mrs.  Bantam  was  a  broken-hearted  woman. 

I  went  down  to  see  him  that  very  afternoon  to  try 
to  persuade  him  to  forgive  Mrs.  Bantam  and  to  return 
home. 

"  Professor,"  he  said,  "  in  a  moment  of  mental  aber- 
ration I  counselled  you  to  marry  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde." 

"  I  remember,"  I  said. 

"  Well,  don't  do  it !  With  my  reason  fairly  under 
control,  I  now  formally  retract  that  ill-timed  suggestion. 
You  are  single.  Happy  man  !  Remain  so.  Let  the 
words  of  a  bitter  sufferer  from  the  torments  of  the 
conjugal  relation  have  weight  with  you.  Refrain! 
The  ancients  manifested  high  sagacity  in  framing  that 
fable  of  Pandora  which  represents  the  inferior  sex  as 
the  source  of  all  trouble.  Sir,  I  say  all  trouble  !  Ab- 
solutely all !  Celibacy  alone  is  bliss.  If  you  would 
fly  from  it,  fly  from  it  to  the  grave.  Seek  death  rather 
than  involve  yourself  in  the  toils  of  accursed  matri- 
mony." 

I  began  to  speak  of  Mrs.  Bantam's  genuine  affection 
for  him,  and  of  her  sufferings. 

"  No  more !"  he  said,  waving  his  hand  in  front  of  his 
face  as  if  to  dispel  some  hideous  vision.  "  No  more 
of  her !  My  love  for  her  is  extinct.  A  love-philter ; 
hah!"  and  the  Colonel  laughed  hysterically.  "Sir, 
when  a  wife  falls  so  low  as  to  believe  that  the  conjugal 
tie  can  be  strengthened  by  paregoric  or  essence  of 
peppermint,  or  some  other  nauseous  compound  from 
the  pharmacopeia,  the  case  is  hopeless.  She  is  insen- 
sible to  the  potency  of  spiritual  influences.  I  draw  the 
line,  sir,  at  application  of  drugs  in  affairs  of  the  heart. 


A   STORM   IN  THE   HOUSEHOLD.     267 

I  shall  have  the  proportions  of  the  mausoleum  changed 
so  that  it  will  hold  but  one  person — myself." 

I  persisted  in  urging  him  to  return. 

"  No,  sir ;  no  !  Let  us  hear  no  more  of  the  matter. 
Spiker's  presence  in  that  house  would  be  sufficient  to 
exclude  me  from  it.  When  he  enters  the  door  I  go 
out.  It  is  monstrous,  sir,  the  conduct  of  that  irrespon- 
sible scribbler !  No  true  soldier  could  tamely  endure 
it.  The  man  who  assails  my  military  career  strikes  at 
my  heart.  Consider,  sir,  have  I  drenched  the  earth 
with  my  blood  to  be  held  up  to  derision  by  a  brainless 
journalist  who  doesn't  know  a  bayonet  from  a  canteen  ? 
My  laurels,  my  friend,  were  won  upon  the  field  of 
glory,  amid  the  wild  terrors  of  the  battle-storm,  not  by 
shedding  ink  from  a  fountain-pen.  No,  sir,  Spiker  and 
I  are  enemies.  Only  the  responsibility  of  my  office  as 
chief  magistrate  restrains  me  from  seeking  his  heart's 
blood. 

"And  that  reminds  me,  Professor,"  said  the  Colonel, 
diminishing  the  ferocity  of  his  manner,  "  that  while  I 
am  homeless  I  am  also  not  far  from  a  condition  of 
absolute  financial  destitution.  The  marriage-fees  are 
now  rare,  and  my  salary  is  not  due  until  August  first. 
It  is  most  repellant  to  my  feelings  to  allude  to  such 
things,  but  the  sternest  necessity  compels  me  to  ask 
you  if  you  could  conveniently  let  me  have  five  dollars 
for  a  few  weeks.  Do  not  consent  unless  the  transac- 
tion commends  itself  perfectly  to  your  feelings,  and 
depend  upon  it  you  shall  have  a  first  lien  upon  my 
next  salary  payment." 

I  gave  him  the  money. 

"  This,"  he  said,  as  he  put  the  money  in  his  pocket, 
"  will  keep  the  wolf  from  the  door — the  station-house 


268  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

door — for  a  time.  On  August  first  I  shall  promptly 
give  you  a  quid  pro  quo  ;  but  I  may  add  that  unless  the 
Improvement  Company  does  the  liberal  thing  in  the 
matter  of  dividends  in  September,  I  shall  be  compelled 
to  put  my  affairs  into  liquidation  and  go  into  the  hands 
of  a  receiver." 

Elmira  Bantam,  with  quite  characteristic  good  sense, 
always  refrained  from  interfering  by  word  or  act  with 
the  strictly  personal  matters  relating  to  her  father  and 
mother.  I  am  sure  that  she  thought  both  of  them  had 
behaved  foolishly  in  this  instance,  and  that  Mr.  Spiker 
had  been  unnecessarily  harsh  in  his  judgment  upon 
the  weakness  of  her  father.  But  she  held  her  peace. 

She  thought,  however,  that  the  Colonel  should  come 
home  and  forgive  and  solace  the  wife  who  with  yearn- 
ing soul  awaited  that  return  and  the  happiness  it  would 
bring  to  her. 

Elmira  had  several  conversations  with  her  father, 
but  he  was  obdurate,  and  at  last,  finding  persuasion  of 
no  avail,  she  undertook  a  line  of  action  which  she 
thought  might  be  more  effective.  She  actually  brought 
suit  against  him,  in  his  wife's  name,  for  desertion,  and 
asked  that  he  should  be  compelled  to  contribute  a 
sum  every  week  to  her  support. 

"  I  dislike  to  prosecute  paw,"  she  said  to  Miss  Mor- 
timer, "  but  he  has  no  right  to  leave  maw,  and  when 
maw  asks  me,  as  an  attorney,  to  bring  suit  against 
him,  I  cannot  for  a  moment  permit  filial  considerations 
to  stand  in  the  way  of  professional  duty." 

Colonel  Bantam  was  very  angry  when  the  summons 
came  to  him  ;  angry  that  Elmira  seemed  to  have  turned 
against  him,  and  scared  by  the  promise  that  he  should 
be  compelled  to  pay  money  into  a  household  which, 


A   STORM    IN   THE   HOUSEHOLD.     269 

in  recent  years,  had  been  sustained  by  the  payments 
made  by  Mrs.  Bantam's  boarders. 

"  A  father's  curse  upon  that  most  ungrateful  child !" 
said  the  Colonel  to  me.  "  Was  it  for  this  that  I  had 
her  trained  for  the  legal  profession  ?  For  this  I  per- 
mitted her  to  become  a  practitioner  of  the  laws  of  her 
country  ?  Shame  upon  her,  sir !  I  warn  her  now 
that  I  shall  cut  her  off  with  a  pittance  unless  she  re- 
traces her  steps.  I  will  not  patiently  endure  persecu- 
tion from  my  own  offspring.  I  shall  recast  my  will 
to-morrow." 

But  the  Colonel  thought  better  of  it.  Within  a  week 
of  the  time  when  Elmira  had  laid  the  foundations  for 
an  action,  Colonel  Bantam  came  to  me  and  said,  lay- 
ing his  hand  upon  my  arm : 

"  Professor,  I  have  relented.  I  can  stand  it  no  longer. 
Separated  from  my  soul's  idol  I  find  myself  yearning 
for  her.  I  have  learned  that  life  apart  from  her  is  in- 
tolerable. Lead  me  home,  that  I  may  forgive  her  and 
confer  upon  her  my  blessing." 

When  we  reached  the  house  I  entered,  and  finding 
Mrs.  Bantam  alone  in  the  library,  I  motioned  to  the 
Colonel  to  remain  in  the  hall,  while  I  went  in  to  pre- 
pare her  for  his  return.  He  stood  just  outside  of  the 
library  door,  where  he  could  hear  everything. 

Mrs.  Bantam  sat  by  the  centre-table,  her  hair  all 
loose  upon  her  back,  and  in  her  hand  she  held  a  photo- 
graph of  her  little  boy  who  died  many  years  before. 
On  the  table  were  his  tiny  shoes  and  some  broken 
playthings.  The  poor  woman,  in  her  grief  for  her  de- 
sertion, had  taken  these  relics  from  their  hiding-place 
and  was  trying,  vainly  I  thought,  to  obtain  from  them 
some  sort  of  consolation. 


270  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

She  was  kissing  the  picture  as  I  came  in.  She 
greeted  me  sadly,  and  said : 

"  Look  at  my  darling,  Mr.  Sprat.  How  sweet  and 
pretty  he  is.  Is  he  not  the  very  image  of  his  honored 
father?  If  he  had  lived,  dear  friend,  perhaps  now  he 
would  be  a  minister  or  a  great  statesman ;  perhaps  a 
brave  soldier  like  the  Colonel.  But  now  my  heart  is 
broken ;  broken  !  I  shall  never  know  what  it  is  to  be 
happy;  never!"  and  again  she  began  to  kiss  the  pic- 
ture passionately. 

Before  I  could  say  a  word  the  Colonel  dashed  into 
the  room,  and  clasping  her  in  his  arms,  lifted  her  from 
the  chair  and  pressed  her  to  his  bosom.  Mrs.  Bantam 
gave  a  little  shriek,  and  would  have  fainted,  had  not  the 
Colonel  held  her. 

"  I  am  a  villain,  a  base  wretch !"  he  exclaimed. 
"  Why  did  I  not  fall  upon  the  field  of  battle  rather 
than  that  I  should  wound  my  darling  ?" 

"  No  !  No  !  Not  that !  Oh,  not  that !"  said  Mrs. 
Bantam,  frantically  embracing  him.  "  Not  that,  my 
darling  Joseph." 

"  My  queen  !  My  love  !  My  life,"  said  the  Colonel, 
kissing  her  as  she  turned  her  face  upward  to  him.  "  A 
heart  of  steel  would  melt  in  the  presence  of  such  devo- 
tion. I  am  yours.  Your  own  Joseph  ;  yours  for  ever 
and  ever  and  ever!" 

"  You  will  not  leave  me  again,  my  Joseph  ?"  she 
asked,  almost  piteously. 

"  Never !  I  swear  it !  No  power  on  earth  shall 
separate  us.  We  will  die  together;  my  darling,  my 
only  one !" 

"  Professor,"  said  the  Colonel,  still  holding  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam in  his  arms,  and  turning  his  eyes  to  me,  "  we  learn 


A  STORM   IN   THE   HOUSEHOLD.     271 

the  most  useful  lessons  of  life  from  experience ;  some- 
times sad  experience.  I  counsel  you  to  take  warning 
from  this  affecting  incident.  When  you  love,  love  un- 
selfishly ;  let  nothing  persuade  you  to  wound  the  feel- 
ings of  your  heart's  idol." 

"  You  advised  me  not  to  marry,  you  know,"  I  said 
with  a  smile. 

"  In  an  evil  moment  I  did.  Erase  the  suggestion 
from  the  tablets  of  your  memory.  It  was  the  passion- 
ate, reckless  utterance  of  an  angry  man.  Believe  me, 
bliss  is  to  be  found  alone  in  the  perfect  love  of  wedded 
life.  I  shall  now  let  the  original  design  of  the  mauso- 
leum stand ;  so  that  it  will  hold  two." 

"  Heed  the  Colonel's  words,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam, 
speaking  with  her  head  upon  her  husband's  breast. 
"  They  are  words  of  wisdom.  The  grave  would  be 
welcome  to  me  if  the  heart  of  Joseph  should  be  given 
to  another." 

"  I  would  not  speak  of  that  again,  my  darling,"  said 
the  Colonel  with  a  shade  of  annoyance  coming  upon 
his  countenance.  "  Let  bygones  be  bygones.  For  me, 
there  is  but  one  woman  ;  it  is  you,  my  love.  All  other 
women  might  be  swallowed  up  in  one  vast  convulsion 
of  nature,  and  I  should  maintain  perfect  tranquility  if 
you  were  by  my  side." 

Mrs.  Bantam  looked  up  at  him  fondly  and  seemed  to 
tighten  her  hold  upon  him.  Presently  she  said : 

"  And  you  must  forgive  Mr.  Spiker,  Joseph." 

A  spasm  of  pain  passed  over  the  Colonel's  face.  I 
thought  he  would  thrust  Mrs.  Bantam  from  him. 

"  That  reptile  ?"  he  said. 
.    "  For  my  sake,  Joseph,"  she  pleaded. 

"  He  deserves  death,"  he  said. 


2/2  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Forgive  him,  darling.  Make  the  sacrifice  because 
you  love  me." 

Colonel  Bantam  remained  silent  and  seemed  to  be 
thinking  the  matter  over.  There  was  an  internal 
struggle ;  but  his  good  angel  got  the  better  of  it  and 
at  last  he  kissed  Mrs.  Bantam  and  said : 

"  Your  word  with  me  is  law.  I  forgive  the  scoun- 
drel." 

I  went  out  to  find  Spiker  and  to  urge  him  to  play 
his  part  in  the  general  reconciliation.  After  much  per- 
suasion he  consented  for  Mrs.  Bantam's  sake. 

"  But,  Sprat,"  said  the  editor,  as  I  prepared  to  leave 
him,  "  what  an  intolerable  old  humbug  the  Colonel  is  !" 

And  so  that  night  at  dinner,  when  the  Colonel  and 
the  editor  had  shaken  hands,  and  the  Colonel  had 
kissed  Mrs.  Bantam  and  Elmira,  and  restrained  his 
impulse  to  kiss  Julie,  he  said  grace  sonorously  and 
.heartily,  and  asked  Spiker  if  he  preferred  the  white 
meat  or  the  dark  meat  of  the  chicken. 

The  storm  had  blown  completely  over. 


IS     afternoon,"    said 
Colonel  Bantam  at  the 
breakfast     table     one 
morning,  "  I  make  my 
experiment  in  the  production  of  rain." 
The  country  suffered  from  drought.     There  had  been 
a  few  small  showers  in  recent  weeks,  but  for  much 
more  than  a  month  the  rain  had  not  fallen  continuously, 
and  vegetation  showed  the  need  of  it. 

"  My  theory,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  is  that  artillery 
firing,  rightly  conducted,  produces  precipitation  of 
moisture.  I  never  witnessed  more  tremendous  rain 
than  we  had  after  the  cannonading  at  Gettysburg. 
The  very  windows — no,  not  the  windows,  the  sluice- 
gates of  heaven  were  opened.  It  was  always  so  after 
a  great  battle." 

"  Why,"  I  asked,  "  does  the  rain  fall  upon  such 
provocation  ?" 

"  I  am  not  familiar  with  science,  excepting  military 
science,  sir,"  replied  the  Colonel.  "  But  I  conceive  the 

18  273 


274  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

facts  to  be  these  :  Artillery  firing  produces  concussion 
of  the  atmosphere.  The  atmosphere  is  largely  charged 
with  moisture.  This  moisture  is  held  in  minute  glob- 
ules, as  butter  is  held  in  cream.  When  you  churn  the 
cream  you  violently  disrupt  the  globules  and  release 
the  fat.  When  you  supply  the  impact  of  concussion 
to  the  globules  in  the  atmosphere,  you  shatter  them 
and  release  the  rain.  I  judge,  sir,  that  is  how  the  con- 
sequences are  persuaded  to  ensue." 

"  There  is  nothing  in  it,"  observed  Mr.  Spiker. 

"  Nothing  in  it !"  responded  the  Colonel  hotly.  "  It 
is  strange  indeed  how  often  presumptuous  ignorance 
sets  itself  against  knowledge  and  wide  experience.  I 
have  seen  the  effect,  sir,  upon  a  hundred  battlefields. 
I  will  demonstrate  to  your  satisfaction  this  very  day, 
sir,  that  there  is  something  in  it,  a  big  something,  too." 

"  I'll  lay  a  heavy  wager  that  the  weather  will  be  dry 
as  a  bone  to-morrow,"  persisted  Spiker. 

"  My  habitual  and  temperamental  aversion  to  gam- 
bling in  any  of  its  forms,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  alone 
prevents  me  from  accepting  any  wager  that  you  or 
any  other  venturesome  person  may  be  rash  enough  to 
lay.  Professor,"  said  the  Colonel  to  me,  "  if  you  should 
accept  the  challenge  the  prize  is  yours,  unless  indeed 
you  shall  be  barred  by  having  bet  upon  a  certainty. 

"  We  have  brought  a  brass  cannon  over  from  Pur- 
gatory Springs,"  continued  Colonel  Bantam ;  "  A.  J. 
Pelican,  with  his  accustomed  public  spirit,  has  contrib- 
uted the  ammunition,  and  at  three  o'clock  the  exer- 
cises begin.  Edith,  my  love,  see  that  the  windows  are 
all  closed  by  three-thirty,  and  do  not  venture  out  with- 
out your  umbrella  and  overshoes." 

The  little  cannon  had  been  placed  in  an  open  space 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER. 


275 


in  the  park,  and  its  brazen  mouth  was  turned  upward 
toward  the  hill-tops. 

At  quarter  to  three  Colonel  Bantam  pushed  his  way 
through  the  crowd,  followed  by  'Lias  Guff,  who 
brought  the  red-flannel-covered  cartridges  in  a  wheel- 
barrow. 

"  Professor,"  said  the  Colonel,  as  he  reached  the  place 
where  I  stood,  "  I  know  little  or  nothing  of  mechanics  ; 
I  have  never,  for  example,  been  able  to  comprehend 
the  mechanism  of  so  simple  an  implement  as  an 

umbrella;  but  artil- 
lery is  my  plaything. 
I  handle  it  as  a  min- 


The  cloud- 
compeller. 

strel     manipu- 
lates his  instru- 
ment. Officer," 
he    said  to   'Lias   Guff,   "  charge   the   piece   and    ram 
home!" 

While  the  officer  was  engaged  in  performing  this 
service,  Colonel  Bantam  addressed  the  crowd : 

"  Observe,  if  you  please,  fellow-citizens,  that  we  have 
above  us  a  cloudless  sky ;  absolutely  cloudless ;  you 
see  only  the  azure  of  heaven.  Prepare,  I  warn  you,  for 
a  change.  Officer,  put  on  the  cap.  Are  you  ready?" 

Colonel  Bantam  retreated  five  or  six  paces,  probably 


276  IN    HAPPY  HOLLOW. 

that  he  might  better  study  the  general  effect  of  the 
operation,  and  then  he  exclaimed,  "  Fire !" 

There  was  a  great  roar  from  the  cannon,  and  the  hills 
in  a  moment  sent  the  overlapping  echoes  flying  back- 
to  us.  "  Continue  firing,"  said  the  Colonel,  and  twenty 
times  the  little  cannon  sent  out  its  vociferous  entreaty 
to  the  blue  heavens  and  brought  the  reverberations  to 
us  from  the  hills. 

"  Is  that,"  said  the  Colonel,  pointing  to  the  western 
horizon,  as  the  echoes  of  the  twentieth  shot  died  away, 
"  is  that  a  cloud  over  there,  Professor  ?" 

It  was  a  cloud  ;  and  soon  a  black  cloud  ;  a  thunder- 
cloud. In  truth,  there  was  within  a  short  time  evi- 
dence enough  that,  for  one  reason  or  for  another, 
Happy  Hollow  would  soon  be  blessed  with  rain. 

Colonel  Bantam  was  in  a  condition  of  high  exhilara- 
tion. He  smiled  and  rubbed  his  hands  and  laughed 
quietly  to  himself;  and  then,  as  'Lias  Guff  drew  away 
the  cannon  and  another  man  removed  the  wheelbarrow, 
the  cloud  grew  bigger  and  bigger,  and  the  rolling  dis- 
tant thunder  seemed  to  be  sending  its  antiphon  to  the 
music  of  the  cannon. 

The  crowd  began  to  disperse,  and  Colonel  Bantam, 
linking  his  arm  in  mine,  limped  slowly  toward  home. 

"  That  perfectly  asinine  editor,  my  dear  Professor," 
he  said,  "  has  learned  a  wholesome  lesson  this  after- 
noon. Is  it  any  wonder  that  our  unfortunate  country 
should  have  so  low  an  average  of  intelligence  among 
its  people  when  the  public  press,  which  should  be  an 
educational  instrument,  is  in  the  hands  of  such  incon- 
ceivable stupidity  ?" 

Upon  our  way  home  the  Colonel  encountered  several 
of  his  fellow-citizens,  whom  he  stopped  to  tell  of  his 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER. 


277 


cannon-firing  and  to  point  to  the  swiftly  darkening  sky. 
He  tarried  so  long  that  when  we  reached  the  corner 
of  the  street  near  to  our  house  rain-drops  fell,  slowly 
at  first ;  then  quickly  and  heavily,  and  at  last  we  ran, 
an  das  there  was 
trouble  with  the 
latch  on  the 
gate,  both  of  us 

were  wet  as 
we  gained 
the  front  door. 
But  Colonel 
Bantam  did  not 
care  for  wet 
clothing.  As  we 
dashed  the  wa- 
ter from  our 
hats  and  heark- 
ened in  the  hall- 
way to  the  roar 
of  the  rain  upon 
the  pavement 
outside,  the 
Colonel  said  to 
me: 

u  Professor,  when  I  undertake  to  do  a 
thing  I  do  it.    I  don't  trifle  with  it.    You 
are  a  young  man  ;  let  me  warn  you  never 
to  be  satisfied  with  half  measures." 
We  went  into  the  front  parlor  and  stood  at  one  of 
the   windows   to   watch   the  storm.     The   rain  fell   in 
sheets,  filling  the  gutters,  covering  the  street  surface 
with  yellow  rivulets,  and  pouring  in  cataracts  from  the 


278  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

edges  of  the  roofs  across  the  street;  while  at  short 
intervals  the  gloom  that  overhung  the  town  was  illu- 
minated by  dazzling  flashes  of  lightning,  each  quickly 
followed  by  a  crash  of  thunder,  and  then  by  long 
rumbling  detonations. 

Colonel  Bantam  was  really  gleeful.  I  think  I  have 
never  known  him  to  enjoy  anything  so  much.  This 
was  his  first  own  personal  thunderstorm,  and  he  felt 
responsible  for  all  the  uproar  and  the  downpour. 

"  A  good  many  globules  seem  to  have  been  broken," 
I  said  to  him  as  we  looked  at  the  flood. 

"  Im — mense !"  he  exclaimed.  "  I  never  had  a  greater 
success.  How  wonderful,  Professor,  is  the  intellect  of 
man,  the  lord  of  creation !  He  dominates  and  sways 
the  elements.  He  speaks  with  imperious  voice,  and 
the  mighty  tempest  breaks  forth.  By  the  way,  where 
is  Mrs.  Bantam  ?  I  hope  she  did  not  venture  out." 

Anxious  that  his  wife  should  share  his  triumph  and 
express  her  admiration  for  his  achievement,  the  Colonel 
left  the  room  and  hurried  upstairs.  In  a  few  moments 
he  returned,  and  stood  again  by  my  side,  gazing  at  the 
storm. 

"  Is  she  at  home  ?"  I  asked. 

Colonel  Bantam  laughed  lightly. 

"  She  has  drawn  a  feather-bed  into  the  middle  of  the 
floor  of  the  guest-chamber,  and  is  reposing  there  with 
her  head  buried  in  the  feathers.  Mrs.  Bantam,  Pro- 
fessor, has  pursued  that  practice  for  thirty-four  years 
whenever  there  was  a  thunderstorm.  Timid,  shrink- 
ing creatures  !  How  fortunate  for  them  that  they  have 
our  bold  and  manly  hearts  to  rest  on !  It.  is  mere 
superstition,  too,  sir.  There  is  no  quality  in  feathers 
to  ward  off  lightning.  The  fowls  of  the  air  are  fre- 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER. 


279 


quently  annihilated  by  it.     I  have  often  said  to  Mrs. 

Bantam  that  if  it  could  be  done  without  hurting  her  I 

wish  she  could  be  struck 
some  time  while  enshrouded 
in  that  feather-bed." 

"She    should    be    brave 


Mrs.  Bantam's  refuge  from 
the  storm. 


during  her  own  husband's  thunderstorm,"  I  ventured 
to  say. 

Colonel  Bantam  was  not  displeased. 

"  You  are  right,  sir ;  you  are  right !  you  do  not 
exaggerate.  The  town  owes  this  glorious  rain  to  me. 
Was  it  not  Jupiter,  sir,  who  was  known  as  the  cloud- 
compeller?  I  think  so.  If  my  dividends  are  large 
enough  I  shall  have  a  design  made  for  a  statue  of  me 
in  that  capacity." 

The  storm  seemed  to  increase  in  violence  as  we 
talked. 

"  This,"  said  the  Colonel,  still  looking  through  the 
window,  "  sends  me  to  Congress.  All  the  farmers  in 
the  county  have  suffered  in  the  most  alarming  manner 
from  drought ;  the  cattle  in  some  places  have  wanted 


280  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

water ;  many  wells  have  been  dry ;  the  ministers  every- 
where have  persistently  and  ineffectually  prayed  for 
rain ;  at  the  critical  moment  Joseph  Bantam  demands 
it  at  the  cannon's  mouth,  and  lo,  it  comes !  Yes,  sir,  I 
go  to  Congress  for  this.  And  Spiker !  how  insignifi- 
cant he  now  appears !  A  man  of  that  kind,  Professor, 
really  needs  a  care-taker." 

The  thunder  and  lightning  soon  were  gone,  but  the 
rain  continued  to  fall  heavily. 

Colonel  Bantam  came  to  the  dinner  table  in  a  joy- 
ous frame  of  mind.  Spiker  reached  home  late,  and 
went  at  once  upstairs,  manifestly  to  remove  his  wet 
clothing.  There  was  a  merry  gleam  in  the  Colonel's 
eye  when  he  heard  the  footsteps  of  the  editor. 

I  thought  Spiker  seemed  gloomy  when  at  last  he 
entered  the  dining-room  and  took  his  seat  at  the  table. 

Mrs.  Bantam  shared  the  Colonel's  exultation  over 
his  remarkable  performance,  and,  speaking  of  it,  she 
was  saying  when  Spiker  arrived : 

"Under  happier  circumstances  the  Colonel's  com- 
manding intellect  would  force  him  into  pre-eminence." 

Mr.  Spiker  made  no  reference  to  the  rain ;  but  when 
Colonel  Bantam  had  put  a  slice  of  roast  beef  upon  the 
editor's  plate,  the  Colonel  stepped  over  to  the  door 
that  opened  upon  the  side  porch  and  unlatched  it  for  a 
moment  and  sniffed  the  air : 

"  The  rain  continues,"  he  said,  "  and  how  delightful 
and  fresh  is  the  perfume  of  nature  as  she  satisfies  her 
thirst." 

"Is  it  raining?"  asked  Mr.  Spiker,  in  an  indifferent 
tone,  but  with  a  slight  affectation  of  surprise,  and  with- 
out looking  up  from  his  knife  and  fork. 

"  The  Defender!'  said  the  Colonel,  with  a  triumphant 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER.  281 

smile,  will  have  to-morrow,  of  course,  a  full  account 
of  the  wonderfully  successful  experiment  in  the  park  ?" 

"The  rain  would  have  come  anyhow,"  said  Spiker, 
sullenly. 

"  It  is  amazing,"  responded  the  Colonel,  "  to  what 
extremities  ignorant  prejudice  will  carry  a  man.  When 
the  skilled  physician  rescues  him  from  disease,  he  says 
he  would  have  got  well  anyhow.  When  the  trained 
manner  steers  the  ship  through  the  wild  tempest  safe 
to  port,  such  a  man  says  she  would  have  come  safely 
home  anyhow.  No !"  exclaimed  the  Colonel  vehe- 
mently. "  It  rains  because  Joseph  Bantam's  brain 
unloosed  the  torrents  from  the  skies  and  subdued 
stubborn  nature  to  his  will." 

The  rain  came  down  without  cessation  all  night  and 
all  the  next  day.  I  met  the  Colonel  as  he  came  into 
the  house  just  before  dinner  on  the  second  day. 

"  Grand,  isn't  it  ?"  he  asked,  as  he  removed  his  hat 
and  put  his  umbrella  in  the  great  jar. 

"  I  should  think  we  have  had  enough,"  I  answered. 

"  The  human  mind,"  he  said,  "  is  never  satisfied- 
Two  days  ago  the  thirsty  earth  gasped  for  moisture. 
Now  we  complain  of  too  much.  Be  patient,  Professor, 
and  all  will  be  well." 

He  spoke  like  a  man  who  could  stop  the  rain  by 
lifting  his  hand. 

There  was  hard  rain  all  the  second  night  and  all  the 
third  day.  As  the  Colonel  looked  from  the  window 
with  me  on  that  third  evening  he  said : 

"  Perhaps  it  would  have  been  as  well,  Mr.  Sprat,  if 
I  had  fired  only  ten  guns  instead  of  twenty.  It  did 
not  occur  to  me  that  the  concussion  might  have  exces- 
sive force." 


282  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

Colonel  Bantam  was  beginning  to  be  troubled,  and 
he  was  in  no  mood  for  trifling  conversation  when  we 
assembled  at  dinner.  I  thought  Spiker  indecorously 
joyous. 

"  Still  raining,  Mr.  Sprat !"  he  said.  "  Noah  would 
have  cared  for  this.  That  globular  theory  seems  to 
me  to  have  been  overworked." 

"  Sir,"  said  the  Colonel  sternly,  "  the  regular  average 
rainfall  for  June  has  not  yet  been  reached.  We  were 
an  inch  and  a  quarter  short  at  three  o'clock." 

"  That's  all  very  well,"  responded  Mr.  Spiker,  "  but 
the  creek  is  up  over  its  banks,  the  first  floor  of  the 
Aramink  House  is  under  water ;  they  are  taking  peo- 
ple out  of  the  houses  in  boats  in  the  lower  part  of  the 
town,  and  they  tell  me  that  over  in  the  valley  barns 
and  hay-stacks  and  piles  of  lumber  and  chicken-coops 
are  sailing  down  the  river  past  Grigsby's  Bluff  faster 
than  you  can  count  them.  Some  men  never  do  a 
thing  without  overdoing  it.  The  farmers  are  mad  all 
through,  and  I  heard  a  report  as  I  left  the  office  of  a 
serious  washout  on  the  railroad." 

Colonel  Bantam  was  pained;  as  his  mind  contem- 
plated the  ruin  in  the  valley  and  reflected  that  the  far- 
mers would  accept  his  own  theory  that  he  was  respon- 
sible for  the  storm,  he  saw  his  hopes  of  a  career  in 
Congress  shrivel  up  and  disappear. 

"  For  my  part,"  persisted  Mr.  Spiker, "  I  never  heard 
anybody  complain  very  much  of  the  drought.  No- 
body cares  for  rain  just  as  harvest-time  begins.  If 
people  would  just  let  things  alone  we  should  be  much 
better  off.  From  what  I  hear  I  calculate  that  this  flood 
will  cost  the  county  half  a  million  dollars  in  spoiled 
crops  and  other  property  destroyed." 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER.  283 

"  Every  benefactor  of  his  race,"  said  the  Colonel, 
with  an  angry  look  upon  his  face,  "  is  the  victim  of 
wicked  ingratitude.  It  was  so  always.  The  Israelites 
wanted  to  stone  Moses ;  Galileo  was  imprisoned ; 
Goodyear  starved  to  death ;  Joseph  Bantam  brings  the 
gracious  rain  from  heaven  to  refresh  the  parched  earth, 
and  he  is  reviled  because  there  is  a  superfluous  quart  or 
two.  It  is  hard  to  bear  such  baseness  patiently ;  I  will 
withdraw." 

The  Colonel  rose,  left  the  room,  took  his  hat,  and 
opened  the  front  door.  He  was  about  to  go  down  the 
street,  but  instead  of  doing  so  he  came  back  into  the 
house,  closed  the  door,  replaced  his  hat  upon  the  rack, 
re-entered  the  dining-room,  resumed  his  seat  at  the 
head  of  the  table,  and  smiled  at  Mrs.  Bantam. 

"  What  is  it,  love  ?"  she  asked. 

"  It  has  stopped  raining,"  said  the  Colonel. 

In  truth,  Mr.  Spiker  had  by  no  means  exaggerated 
the  dimensions  of  the  harm  that  had  been  done  by  the 
storm.  The  Aramink  House  was  so  much  injured  that 
it  could  not  be  opened  at  the  appointed  time,  and  so 
the  guests  who  had  thought  to  come  went  to  other 
places,  and  the  whole  season  was  spoiled.  The  dam 
that  held  back  the  lake  was  broken,  and  the  lake 
turned  into  a  dreary  mud-flat  until  repairs  could  be 
made ;  the  new  park  was  badly  damaged ;  part  of  the 
track  of  the  horse  railroad  was  torn  out  over  by  Pur- 
gatory Springs,  and,  upon  the  whole,  the  Happy  Hol- 
low Improvement  Company,  the  town,  the  steam  rail- 
road, the  farmers,  and  the  county  lost  much  more 
than  the  sum  named  by  the  editor.  Colonel  Bantam 
trembled  for  his  September  dividend  when  he  heard 
how  the  Improvement  Company  had  suffered,  and  no 


284  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

doubt  mourned  the  day  that  he  undertook  to  make 
experiment  with  concussion  and  the  globular  theory. 

One  week  after  the  great  Bantam  deluge  Mr.  Spiker 
said  to  me  one  morning,  with  mystery  in  his  manner, 
that  he  was  going  to  the  city  that  day  upon  important 
business.  He  returned  in  the  evening,  and  when  he 
came  upstairs  in  our  house  I  would  have  passed  him 
in  the  hallway ;  but  Spiker  took  hold  of  my  arm  and 
pulled  me  into  his  room,  shutting  the  door. 

"  Sit  down  there,  Sprat,"  he  said,  pointing  to  a  chair; 
"  I  have  something  terrible  to  tell  you." 

Spiker's  countenance,  and  even  the  tone  of  his  voice, 
indicated  that  he  was  the  subject  of  violent  emotion. 

He  sat  upon  the  lounge,  face  to  face  with  me,  but 
at  first  he  put  his  elbows  upon  his  knees  and  buried 
his  face  in  his  hands,  as  if  he  could  not  trust  himself  to 
speak. 

Then  suddenly  he  raised  his  head,  and  flinging  wide 
his  arms  in  a  gesture  of  despair  he  exclaimed : 

"  It's  all  over,  old  man  !     It's  all  over !" 

"  Your  matter  with  Julie,  you  mean?" 

"  Yes,  it's  all  over,  Sprat.  I  shall  lose  my  mind. 
I'm  afraid  I  shall  go  crazy!" 

"Oh,  you  take  it  too  hard,"  I  said.  "You  will 
recover  in  time.  Many  a  man  has  been  refused 
before." 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  with  a  strange  laugh.  "  Refused, 
yes,  plenty  of  men.  But,  my  friend,  that  hasn't  hap- 
pened to  me ;  not  that." 

"  I  don't  understand  you,  then.  Certainly  you  are 
not  agitated  because  she  has  accepted  you.  What's 
the  matter,  Spiker,  anyhow?" 

"  I've  had  the  refusing  to  do,"  he  said. 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER.  285 

"  Well,  I  give  it  up  until  you  are  calm  enough  to 
explain  yourself." 

Mr.  Spiker  arose  and  walked  about  the  room  for 
two  or  three  minutes,  then  standing  before  me,  he 
said  : 

"  Last  evening,  while  we  were  sitting  out  here  in  the 
garden,  I  proposed  to  her." 

"  Did  you  show  her  the  Mercator  projection  ?"  I 
asked. 

"  Don't  speak  of  that,  Sprat !  It  looks  to  me  now 
just  like  foolishness.  Something  about  her  said, 
'  Don't  try  that !'  A  queenly  woman,  Sprat !  A  won- 
derful woman  !  But  she's  lost  to  me.  She  was  solemn 
and  tearful  when  I  spoke  to  her  about  my  feelings,  and 
she  made  no  answer.  I  am  not  skilful  at  such  things, 

o    * 

but,  of  course,  I  pressed  her  to  speak  to  me,  and,  to 
my  astonishment,  she  turned  to  me  with  her  eyes  filled 
with  tears,  and  said  simply,  'I  wish  it  could  not  have 
happened  so  !'  *  But,'  I  said,  '  you  do  not  say  no,  and 
you  have  only  to  say  yes,  and  all  will  be  right.'  '  I 
cannot  say  either  yes  or  no,'  she  answered,  '  because 
there  is  more  than  just  that.  You  do  not  know  all. 
How  could  you  know  ?'  '  I  don't  want  to  know,'  I 
said.  '  Nothing  shall  take  you  from  me  but  your  own 
direct  refusal.  Nothing  else  can  separate  us.'  'Ah, 
yes!'  she  answered,  'but  something  else  will  separate 
us.'  '  It  is  impossible  !'  I  said.  '  I  love  you  too  dearly 
to  let  you  go  for  any  consideration.'  '  No,'  she  per- 
sisted, 'it  will  be  your  own  act.  You  will  refuse  me.' 

"  Sprat !  I  saw  that  something  unusual  was  the 
matter,  and  I  was  filled  with  dread.  I  did  not  know 
just  what  to  say.  But  at  last  I  answered,  'Tell  me 
the  worst.  I  must  know  it.' 


286  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

" '  Will  you  go  to  the  city  to-morrow  ?'  she  asked. 

'  Yes/  I  said,  and  then  she  named  an  hour  at  which 
she  would  meet  me  in  the  railway  station  in  town.  She 
was  there  at  the  time  fixed,  and  with  her  I  walked 
silently  through  the  streets  until  we  came  to  a  small, 
but  very  nice,  two-story  brick  building.  She  rang  the 
bell,  and  the  door  was  opened  by  an  elderly  mulatto 
woman,  nearly  white,  in  fact,  in  a  tidy  blue  frock,  and 
with  the  appearance  of  a  superior  servant. 

"  We  entered  the  house,  and  when  Julie  had  closed 
the  door,  she  took  the  mulatto  woman  by  the  hand 
and,  turning  to  me,  she  said  with  a  sweet  voice :  '  Mr. 
Spiker,  this  is  my  mother.'  A  negress,  Sprat !  Julie 
a  negress  !  Black  blood  in  her  veins  !  Think  of  that ! 
Julie  has  supported  her  mother  by  her  labors.  This  is 
where  she  went  so  pften  when  she  mysteriously  dis- 
appeared from  here;  to  the  city  to  see  her  mother! 
Who  would  have  suspected  that  she  was  a  negress  ? 
I  was  smitten  dumb ;  I  could  say  nothing ;  and  while 
I  stood  there,  almost  paralyzed  with  grief  and  dis- 
appointment, Julie  came  to  me,  and  taking  my  hand, 
she  said,  softly  and  sweetly :  '  Good-bye,  Mr.  Spiker, 
good-bye !  My  mother  was  a  runaway  slave,  and  in 
her  flight  she  carried  me  in  her  arms,  as  many  a  time 
I  have  carried  the  child  in  the  play.  I  am  faithful  to 
her  ;  and — and — yes,  faithful  to  you  !  Good-bye  !' 

"  Sprat,  I  went  from  the  house  almost  insane.  I 
am  almost  insane  now.  But  she  acted  fairly,  didn't 
she  ?  -She  could  have  deceived  me.  Suppose  she  had 
not  told  me,  and  I  had  married  her !  But  was  it  fair 
not  to  tell  us  long  ago,  and  to  let  me  fall  in  love  with 
her  ?  I  don't  know.  She  acted  nobly  at  the  last.  A 
negress  !  She  will  never  come  back  here.  It  is  over. 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER.  287 

What  will  Ruby  do,  do  you  think  ?  What  shall  I  do 
with  the  Woman's  Department?  I  can't  have  the 
public  know  that  a  negro  woman  edits  it,  can  I  ?  That 
splendid  woman  !  So  beautiful  and  gifted  and  gener- 
ous !  Think  how  she  cared  for  Ruby ;  how  she  shone 
at  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  '  uplifters  '  and  everywhere  else! 
And  now  she  turns  out  to  be  the  daughter  of  an  ex- 
slave  woman !" 

The  next  day  Mrs.  Bantam  received  a  long  letter 
from  Julie  asking  that  her  clothing  and  other  property 
should  be  packed  and  sent  to  her,  and  bidding  an  affec- 
tionate farewell  to  Mrs.  Bantam,  Elmira,  the  Colonel, 
and  me.  She  would  not  return  to  Happy  Hollow. 

When  the  day  was  ended  we  sat  together  in  the  par- 
lor after  supper,  and  we  could  not  avoid  speaking  of 
the  strange  revelation  that  had  been  made.  All  of  us 
were  sad,  for  we  missed  Julie  much ;  she  had  filled  the 
house  with  brightness,  and  by  her  gentle  good  humor 
and  kindness  had  endeared  herself  to  every  one. 

Mrs.  Bantam,  of  course,  was  tearful  and  partially  dis- 
hevelled. 

"  She  is  so  lovely !"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  "  and  so  kind 
and  good.  Is  it  not  painful  beyond  expression,  dear 
Mr.  Sprat,  to  reflect  that  her  ancestors  were  naked 
savages  who  bounded  about  in  the  regions  of  equatorial 
Africa,  perhaps  cannibals,  eating  one  another  and  be- 
having in  a  perfectly  inhuman  manner?  But  I  shall 
never  forget  her  kindness  to  Ruby,  cannibals  or  no 
cannibals." 

"  It  is  ridiculous,  maw,"  said  Elmira,  "  to  talk  in  that 
way.  Your  own  ancestors  ran  around  in  the  woods 
of  Germany  without  clothing,  and  very  likely  ate  one 
another." 


288  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  I  know,  my  child,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  but,  as 
members  of  the  proud  Caucasian  race — " 

"  Paw !"  said  Elmira  sharply,  "  please  do  not  be  per- 
fectly absurd !  The  jails  around  here  are  full  of  mem- 
bers of  the  proud  Caucasian  race,  and  there  are  more 
Caucasian  rascals  running  at  large  here  than  ten  times 
as  many  jails  would  hold.  Julie  is  a  brainy  woman, 
and  fit  to  govern  nine-tenths  of  the  Caucasians  I  am 
acquainted  with." 

"  Brainy,  yes,"  responded  the  Colonel,  "  and  she  is 
unsurpassed  in  her  power  to  touch  the  springs  of  feel- 
ing, but  shall  we  permit  our  admiration  for  her  intel- 
lectual gifts  to  impel  us  to  fly  in  the  face  of  Scripture  ? 
Shall  we  attempt  with  impious  hand  to  set  aside  the 
edict  uttered  by  the  venerable  patriarch  against  the 
descendants  of  Ham  ?  I  shrink  from  such  a  course." 

"  I  thought  you  said  you  were  a  Fire  Worshiper," 
I  whispered  to  the  Colonel. 

"  I  am,  sir,  but  my  nature  is  not  revolutionary.  I 
would  not  consent  to  override  and  sweep  away  the 
social  usages  of  sixty  centuries.  For  the  race  which 
my  own  arm  helped  to  deliver  from  the  bondsman's 
chain  I  would  do  still  more;  but  the  line  must  be 
drawn,  sir,  against  the  Ethiopian  when  he  attempts  to 
invade  the  hearthstone  of  the  higher  race ;  or,  rather, 
in  this  case,  when  she  attempts  it.  I  say,  sir,  it  must 
be  drawn,  and  I  draw  it." 

Miss  Bantam  simply  said  "  Pshaw !"  and  took  up  the 
evening  paper. 

The  Colonel  felt  like  speaking  further : 

"  Cupid,"  he  said,  "  plays  sad,  sad  pranks  !  This  is 
one  of  the  most  familiar  of  facts ;  but,  sir,  Cupid  has 
no  business  to  meddle  with  ethnological  questions.  It 


THE   CLOUD-COMPELLER.  289 

cannot  be  tolerated  that  Cupid  should  contemptuously 
disregard  Noah's  justifiable  reprobation  of  Ham. 
Cupid,  sir !  Ham,  sir  !  The  two  are  obviously  incon- 
gruous. Let  Cupid  stay  here  and  Ham  there ;  apart. 
Their  spheres  of  influence  are  and  should  be  widely 
separated." 

Miss  Bantam  could  stand  no  more.  She  laid  down 
the  paper  and  rising,  said  : 

"The  only  question  is,  Is  she  a  lovely,  gifted, 
good  woman  ?  She  is,  and  for  me,  I  stand  right  by 
her!" 

The  Colonel  was  about  to  reply,  but  Elmira  with- 
drew from  the  room  and  went  upstairs. 

"  I  am  so  sorry,  too,  for  poor  Mr.  Spiker,"  said  Mrs. 
Bantam.  "  You  have  never  loved,  Mr.  Sprat,  I  think 
you  said,  and  therefore  you  can  form  no  conception  of 
the  intensity  of  the  feelings  where  the  flood-gates  of 
passion  have  been  opened  and  the  soul  is  filled  with 
love's  delirium.  Love,  my  dear  Mr.  Sprat,  is  a  devour- 
ing flame ;  it  is  ecstasy.  I  tremble  for  Mr.  Spiker. 
Will  it  not  be  dreadful  if  we  shall  be  compelled  to 
watch  him  slowly  wasting  away  ?  And  suppose  his 
reason  should  totter  upon  its  throne  ?  Words  cannot 
express  how  this  would  pain  me." 

"  Your  anxiety  is  needless,  Edith,"  said  the  Colonel. 
"  Give  yourself  no  uneasiness  about  Mr.  Spiker.  He 
will  waste  nothing  but  provender.  Whatever  reason 
he  has  will  not  totter  a  particle.  He  chuckles  to-day, 
no  doubt — yes,  chuckles,  to  think  that  he  has  escaped 
marriage  with  a  colored  woman." 

"  How  can  you  speak  so  ungenerously,  Joseph  ?" 

"  Because,  madame,  I  know  Spiker.  He  is  deficient 
in  the  finer  sensibilities.  He  has  a  heart  of  stone. 

19 


290  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Shed  no  tears  upon  his  account.  He  will  return  to 
his  sanctum  without  a  pang,  and  continue  to  stupefy 
mankind  with  editorials  as  deficient  in  intelligence  as 
they  are  wanting  in  literary  grace.  Dr.  Bulfinch  him- 
self could  not  parse  one  of  them.  I  warn  you,  Pro- 
fessor, to  keep  your  eye  on  Spiker.  My  own  eye  looks 
clear  through  him.  I  take  him  in  at  a  glance." 

"  You  wrong  Mr.  Spiker,  Joseph,"  insisted  Mrs.  Ban- 
tam. "  He  really  loved  Julie.  I  know  it." 

"  Women,  Professor,"  said  the  Colonel,  turning  to 
me,  "  are  always  weak,  when  matters  relating  to  the 
affections  are  involved.  Edith's  own  noble  nature 
impels  her  to  believe  that  even  the  most  unworthy 
are  capable  of  the  higher  forms  of  affection.  Show  a 
woman  a  pair  of  lovers  and  she  says  good-bye  to  her 
judgment;  she  will  believe  anything.  But,  sir,  as  one 
who  is  always  master  of  himself,  and  who  looks  at 
such  things  in  the  cold  light  of  reason,  I  assert  that, 
Ethiopian  though  she  be,  Julie  is  as  much  above  Spiker 
as  the  Matterhorn  is  above  Happy  Hollow." 

I  was  sorry  for  Spiker  and  for  Miss  Mortimer,  and  I 
knew  Ruby  would  be  sorry.  Our  school  was  over,  and 
I  determined  to  go  to  Hawksmere  to  see  her,  not  only 
that  I  might  tell  her  of  Julie,  but  that  I  might  try 
again  if  she  would  have  me  for  her  husband. 


an  afternoon  in  the  early  part  of 
July  I  went  to  the  city,  and  at 
night  I  took  a  train  in  which  I  travelled  until  the 
morning.  Dismounting  then  at  a  little  station  almost 
surrounded  by  vast  heaps  of  hemlock  bark,  I  entered 
the  stage,  and  pulled  by  four  stout  horses,  began  to 
make  the  steep  ascent  along  the  winding  way  to 
Hawksmere. 

Hawksmere  is  upon  a  mountain  top.  When  one 
has  climbed  for  hours  by  steep  roads  through  the 
forest  the  summit  is  reached,  and  there,  lying  in  a  cup 
resembling  the  crater  of  an  extinct  volcano,  is  a  pretty 
lake,  a  mile  and  a  half  long  and  half  a  mile  wide. 
Sixty  feet  above  the  margin  of  the  water  the  spaces 
upon  two  sides  are  occupied  by  hotels  and  pretty  lawn- 
bordered  cottages ;  whilst  upon  the  other  sides  the 
ancient  forest  lies  thick  and  deep  about  the  lake,  the 

291 


292  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

great  hemlock  trees  with  twisted  and  knotted  roots 
and  trunks  thrusting  themselves  out  over  the  water. 
Beneath  the  shade  of  the  overhanging  branches  the 
boats  may  move  from  one  end  of  the  lake  to  the  other  ; 
or  if  the  rowers  be  weary,  or  would  have  seclusion 
and  peace,  the  boat  may  be  thrust  under  the  very 
roots  of  the  great  trees,  close  to  the  red  earth  of  the 
shore,  and  there  in  the  cool  air  and  the  deep  shadow 
one  may  read,  or  think,  or  talk  with  a  companion,  or 
watch  the  gay  scene  out  in  the  golden  sunshine  that 
floods  the  lake. 

For  there  the  little  steamer  runs  to  and  fro  filled 
with  pleasure-seekers,  and  row-boats  and  sail-boats 
pass  from  place  to  place,  or  lie  at  anchor  for  the 
patient  fishermen. 

It  is  a  charming  place  for  an  idler  on  a  summer  day, 
and  it  becomes  more  charming  if  one  shall  have  such 
company  as  I  hoped  to  have  when  I  went  there. 

I  reached  the  town  in  the  morning,  and  when  I  had 
fixed  my  quarters  at  the  hotel,  I  considered  if  I  should 
go  at  once  to  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  cottage  in  pursuit  of 
Ruby,  or  if  I  should  accept  the  chance  of  meeting  her 
upon  the  lake  or  at  the  bathing-beach. 

I  thought  at  last  that  I  should  find  pleasure  for 
myself  and  perhaps  should  not  displease  her  if  I  should 
come  upon  her  suddenly,  surprising  her  among  her 
friends  as  they  mingled  with  the  throng  upon  the 
water  or  at  the  beach.  And  so  I  started  down  to  the 
path  that  enters  the  great  forest,  and  skirts  the  lake  a 
little  distance  from  it  and  a  few  feet  above  it,  clear 
about  the  whole  circumference. 

This  is  a  walk  full  of  delight  at  any  time;  but  on 
that  morning  the  sun  was  shining  in  a  cloudless  sky ; 


Let  me  be  ever  the  first,  the  truest,  the  nearest,and  dearest. 


AT   HAWKSMERE.  293 

the  air  was  cool  with  freshness  that  the  lowlands  rarely 
know,  and  it  was  fragrant  with  the  scent  of  the  pine 
and  the  hemlock,  and  of  the  ground  whereon  pine 
needles  had  fallen  and  lain  undisturbed  for  centuries. 
The  earth  was  soft  to  the  footfall,  and  elastic,  so  that 
the  pedestrian  felt  every  movement  was  without  effort. 

I  strolled  along,  catching  glimpses  here  and  there 
through  the  trees  of  the  shining  surface  of  the  lake, 
and  counting  with  a  feeling  of  elation  upon  meeting  at 
the  beach  far  ahead  of  me  the  woman  for  whose  pres- 
ence I  longed.  But,  as  I  stopped  for  a  moment  not 
far  from  the  edge  of  the  water  to  examine  a  great  fun- 
gus upon  the  trunk  of  a  fallen  hemlock,  I  heard  a 
voice  near  to  me,  and  it  was  a  familiar  voice.  Step- 
ping forward  a  little  distance,  I  looked  downward,  and 
there  lying  in  close  beside  the  moss-covered  bank  was 
a  boat,  and  in  the  boat  sat  Thomas  Driggs,  clad  in  a  gay 
shirt  and  white  flannel  trowsers,  with  a  belt  about  his 
waist  and  a  Panama  hat  worn  slouching  upon  his  head. 

Tom  sat  upon  a  thwart  in  the  middle  of  the  boat, 
reading  aloud,  and  in  the  stern  upon  a  bundle  of 
cushions  facing  him  sat  Ruby  Bonner,  placid,  smiling, 
comfortable,  knitting  or  doing  some  other  kind  of 
woman's  work,  while  she  listened  to  Tom. 

All  my  soul  flamed  up  within  me  at  the  spectacle. 
My  heart  beat  vehemently.  I  felt  my  face  flush,  and  I 
was  filled  at  once  with  grim  misery.  "  Here,"  I  thought, 
"  is  the  end  of  it  all !  Now  I  know  why  she  would  not 
hear  me  when  I  told  her  that  I  loved  her.  She  has 
maintained  correspondence  with  Driggs.  Far  better 
would  it  have  been  for  me  if  I  had  not  come  here. 
There  will  be  no  more  peace  for  me  this  summer  or  in 
this  life." 


294  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

I  did  not  wish  to  stay  there  spying  upon  them,  or 
listening,  but  I  could  not  help  hearing  that  which  Tom 
was  reading.  It  was  in  the  Courtship  of  Miles  Stan- 
dish.  Driggs  had  found  it  at  last.  Just  as  I  began  to 
turn  to  go  away  he  read  these  lines,  and  I  thought  with 
quite  scandalous  fervor : 

"  Yes,  we  must  ever  be  friends ;  and  of  all  that  offer  you  friendship 
Let  me  ever  be  the  first,  the  truest,  the  nearest,  and  dearest/' 

I  thought  I  saw  Ruby  look  up  from  her  work  and 
smile  at  him  as  he  uttered  these  words  ;  but  perhaps  I 
was  mistaken,  for  my  brain  was  in  such  a  whirl  that  I 
almost  lost  consciousness,  and  did  not  know  but  that 
my  trembling  knees  would  give  way  and  I  should 
swoon  there  in  the  forest. 

I  turned  about,  and  though  I  seemed  to  have  no 
strength  left,  I  ran  directly  away  from  the  border  of 
the  lake,  forsaking  the  path,  and  buried  myself  deep  in 
the  wood. 

For  some  of  us  it  is  not  hard  to  understand  how 
men  may  seek  relief  in  self-destruction.  It  comes  to 
a  man  now  and  then  that  all  life  in  him  and  about 
him  and  ahead  of  him  is  thick  darkness.  The  very 
sunshine  is  gloom.  Hope  is  extinct,  and  existence  now 
a  burden — existence  in  the  time  to  come  a  horror  not 
to  be  faced  or  endured. 

I  went  stumbling  along  among  the  prostrate  trees, 
the  tangled  laurel,  and  the  rotted  remnants  of  the 
ancient  hemlocks,  not  knowing  how  I  went  or  whither 
I  went,  or  if  the  branches  scratched  my  face  or  tore 
my  clothing ;  or  I  went  ankle-deep  in  the  morass  that 
here  and  there  lay  sodden  in  the  shade  of  the  woods. 
All  my  past  life  seemed  useless ;  all  my  present  life  a 


AT   HAWKSMERE.  295 

wreck,  and  the  years  to  come — years  without  the  love 
that  had  illuminated  all  my  soul — an  intolerable  stretch 
of  dreary  wandering  over  desert  land. 

It  would  have  been  a  relief  to  curse  Driggs  and  to 
curse  the  woman  who  had  so  finely  hidden  from  me 
her  preference  for  him  ;  but  even  in  the  fury  of  my 
raee  I  could  not  venture  to  do  that.  I  hated  him  with 

o 

bitter  hatred,  and  for  her  my  heart  was  sore  that  she 
should  have  thought  such  a  man  more  worthy  than  I. 
I  knew  he  was  not. 

"  I  would  have  lifted  you  up,"  I  said,  as  if  she  were 
present  with  me,  "  to  such  a  height  as  his  love  can 
never  reach.  You  stoop  to  him  and  he  will  keep  you 
on  his  lower  level.  How  mightily  I  would  have  loved 
you  until  my  love  should  have  given  you  glimpses  of 
holiness.  Yes ;  it  is  that ;  it  is  holy  ;  for  it  is  a  sacri- 
fice, and  I  would  willingly  die  for  you,  my  dear. 

"  Too  old,"  I  said  bitterly,  as  I  rushed  along.  "  She 
thought  me  too  old  !  Too  old  at  twenty-nine ;  and  that 
abominable  Driggs  is  twenty-seven.  Twenty-seven  and 
stupid,  and  infatuated  with  shoes  and  soap.  Too  young 
you  are,  my  Ruby,  to  perceive  that  a  girl's  foolish 
fancy  may  wreck  a  woman's  life !" 

I  had  gone  far  before  the  violence  of  the  bodily  ex- 
ercise had  in  a  measure  tamed  the  wild  passion  of  the 
soul ;  and  when  calmness  began  to  come  again  to  the 
perturbed  spirit,  I  thought  to  take  note  of  where  I  was. 
It  is  an  easy  thing  to  be  lost  in  that  vast,  far-stretching 
mountain-forest,  and  I  had  heard  tales  of  wanderers 
who  had  never  returned,  or  who  had  been  found  and 
brought  back  after  bitter  suffering. 

So  then  I  sat  down  upon  the  protruding  root  of  a 
tree  to  find  breath,  to  wipe  the  moisture  from  my  face, 


296  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

and  to  consider.  Even  then  only  by  violent  effort 
could  I  turn  my  mind  from  that  scene  in  the  boat  and 
reflect  upon  my  situation.  No  matter  how  hard  I  tried, 
my  thought  would  slip  back  again  to  my  own  misery ; 
and  before  me  always  was  the  picture  of  the  lovely  girl 
smiling  upon  the  man  who  seemed  to  plead  with  her 
that  he  might  be  her  nearest  and  dearest. 

I  sat  there  long,  thinking  of  it  all,  and  when  at  last 
the  cool  wind  had  refreshed  me  and  the  rest  had  given 
me  larger  strength,  I  thought  of  going  back  again  to 
the  hotel.  I  was  resolved  to  leave  Hawksmere  by  a 
night  stage.  I  would  not  try  to  see  Ruby.  I  would 
not  permit  her  to  know  that  I  had  been  there.  But  I 
remembered  that  I  could  not  go  away  until  the  morn- 
ing. 

Looking  about,  I  found  that  I  did  not  know  by  what 
way  I  had  come.  1  had  not  the  least  notion  whether 
the  village  and  the  lake  lay  in  this  direction  or  in  that. 
I  might  have  walked  five  miles  for  aught  I  knew.  In 
half-delirium  one  does  not  count  paces. 

I  sat  down  again  to  try  to  exercise  cooler  judgment 
upon  the  matter.  To  go  in  one  direction  might  be  to 
have  to  spend  a  week  in  the  forest  without  food.  Per- 
haps to  die  there.  To  go  in  another  might  be  to  find 
my  way  out  at  the  end  of  a  ten  miles'  tramp.  The 
sun  could  not  guide  me,  for  actually  I  did  not  recall  if 
Hawksmere  lay  east  or  west,  or  how  it  lay.  The  place 
had  not  been  familiar  to  me. 

At  last,  after  long  reflection,  I  determined  to  find 
and  to  climb  the  highest  tree  near  to  me.  Perhaps 
then  I  should  discover  some  token  which  would  show 
to  me  the  right  direction. 

My  climbing  days  were  long  past,  but  I  had  not  for- 


AT   HAWKSMERE. 


297 


gotten  how  to  climb ;  and  so,  with  hard  toil  and  stren- 
uous effort,  and  much  damage  to  my  garments,  I  went 
up  and  up  a  great  tree,  higher  and  higher,  until  I  could 
look  out  over  the 
top  of  the  forest 
which  lay  beneath, 
a  billowy  mass  of 
green,  with  here  and 
there  the  naked 
branches  of  a  dead 
tree  thrust  out  from 
the  verdure.  There 
was  not  much  hope 
in  the  first  outlook, 
but  at  last  I  caught 
sight  of  a  moving 
object,  far,  far  away 
to  the  southward, 
and  when  I  had 
looked  long  and 
closely  I  made  it 
out  to  be  the  flag 
over  the  great  hotel. 
As  I  watched  the 
moving  thing  I  be- 
came sure  of  it,  and 
I  noted  that  the  vil- 
lage lay  in  just  the 
opposite  direction 
from  that  which  I 
•should  have  taken  if  I  had  not  thus  examined  the 
field. 

So,  noting  carefully  the   objects   upon   the  ground 


There  was  not  much  hope  in  the  first 
outlook. 


298  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

beneath  the  tree,  that  I  should  make  no  mistake  when  I 
descended,  I  came  down,  and  then  I  bent  my  mind  to  the 
task  of  walking,  so  far  as  I  could,  in  a  straight  line,  that 
I  migjit  not  fall  victim  to  the  propensity  to  go  in  a  circle. 

I  reached  the  hotel  in  the  middle  of  the  afternoon, 
and  went  to  my  room  to  repair  damages  and  to  rest. 
I  was  weary  in  body  and  in  soul ;  but  I  held  firmly  to 
my  purpose  to  go  away  in  the  morning. 

When  the  sun  was  down  and  the  dusk  began  to 
gather  where  the  trees  stretched  their  branches  over 
the  lake,  I  went  down  stairs  and  out  upon  the  porch 
of  the  hotel,  not  thinking  to  find  anyone  I  knew. 
Indeed,  I  wished  to  be  alone.  I  could  hardly  bear  to 
face  the  people  assembled  in  the  house.  But  there, 
upon  the  porch,  sat  Thomas  Driggs,  with  his  chair 
tilted  backward  and  one  of  his  feet  planted  high  upon 
the  post  that  upheld  the  porch-roof.  It  was  the  atti- 
tude in  which  he  had  talked  to  me  while  we  tarried 
upon  the  porch  of  the  Metropolitan  Hotel  upon  the 
day  when  I  first  came  to  Happy  Hollow.  Thomas 
Driggs's  mind  seemed  to  work  with  more  ease  when 
his  heel  was  on  a  higher  level  than  his  head. 

He  was  surprised  to  see  me,  but  he  did  not  seem 
glad.  He  greeted  me  politely,  but  I  thought  there 
was  a  trace  of  sullenness  in  his  manner. 

When  he  had  explained  to  me,  still  with  his  foot 
lifted  against  the  post,  that  he  had  abandoned  the  soap 
business  and  was  now  engaged  in  selling. oils,  he  was 
silent  for  a  moment  while  he  twisted  his  moustache, 
and  then  turning  his  head  toward  me  with  a  scowl 
upon  his  face  he  said : 

"  You  did  up  that  Miles  Standish  business  finely  for 
me,  didn't  you  ?" 


AT   HAWKSMERE.  299 

I  asked  him  what  he  meant. 

"  You  know  well  enough  what  I  mean,  Jack,"  he 
answered.  "  I  didn't  recall  the  Miles  Standish  story 
when  you  wrote  to  me  about  it ;  but  it  is  plain  enough 
now  that  you  had  made  up  your  mind  at  that  very  time 
to  try  to  undermine  <ne  with  Ruby  Bonner." 

"  That  was  only  a  bit  of  fun,"  I  answered  good- 
humoredly,  despite  the  offensive  nature  of  his  words. 

"  Yes,  fun  for  you  and  death  for  me.  I  thought 
that,  as  an  old  friend,  you'd  play  fair,  any  way.  The 
girl  was  mine  if  I  could  have  been  with  her,  and  I 
never  imagined  that  an  old  classmate  whom  I  trusted 
would  go  back  on  me  and  try  to  cut  me  out." 

"  Have  I  cut  you  out  ?" 

Thomas  Driggs  laughed  bitterly,  and  began  again 
to  twist  his  moustache. 

"  I  guess  you  know,"  he  said. 

"  I  know  nothing,"  I  answered. 

"  You  poisoned  her  mind  against  me." 

"  Never  !"  I  said.     "  I  praised  you  to  her." 

"  Some  men  know  how  to  make  praise  more  deadly 
than  slander !  Much  good  your  praise  was  to  me." 

"  Doesn't  she  care  for  you  ?" 

Thomas  hesitated  before  replying.  Then,  turning 
his  head  and  looking  out  over  the  lake,  he  said : 

"  Threw  me  over  this  morning." 

"Refused  you?  Ruby  did?"  and  a  great  joyous 
hopefulness  swelled  my  heart. 

"  I  should  say  so  !  Turned  me  down  flat.  Said  she 
never  dreamed  of  such  a  thing  as  marrying  me.  And 
I  know  why." 

"Well,  why?" 

"  Because  you've  run   me  out  and  put  yourself  in 


300  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

my  place.  The  girl  is  fool  enough  to  be  in  love  with 
you." 

"  Tom,  you  are  crazy." 

"  Now,  look  here,  Jack,  it's  perfectly  useless  for  you 
to  sit  there  and  try  that  hypocritical  business  with  me. 
I  can  see  through  you  just  as  if  you  were  made  of 
glass.  You  can  hardly  keep  from  chuckling.  I  like 
a  man  to  play  decent  and  fair.  You  know  mighty 
well  she  wants  you,  and  she  wants  you  solely  because 
I  had  to  be  away  earning  my  bread.  I  wouldn't  have 
knifed  you  in  that  way." 

"  I  pledge  you  my  word,  Tom,  I  thought  she  cared 
for  you.  I  thought  so  until  you  told  me  she  had  re- 
fused you." 

"  Oh,  very  well.  It  makes  no  difference.  I  must 
accept  your  word,  of  course.  But  the  game  is  up  for 
me.  There's  no  use  of  me  trying  her  again.  She 
said  no  with  a  big  N  and  a  big  O.  That's  over;  and 
I  suppose,  in  fact,  there  are  other  girls  to  be  had. 
The  earth's  full  of  'em." 

I  trusted  he  might  discover  some  consolation  for 
himself  in  that  reflection.  But,  in  truth,  I  did  not  care 
much,  for  how  could  I  find  room  in  my  soul  for 
mourning,  or  even  for  pity,  for  this  foolish  young  man, 
when  it  was  overflowing  with  joy  because  of  the  reve- 
lation he  had  made  to  me  ? 

Pure  love,  they  say,  is  pure  unselfishness  ;  but  to 
me  it  seems  that  the  passion,  in  its  early  stages  at 
least,  involves  a  very  considerable  element  of  self-com- 
placency and  self-enjoyment.  I  went  away  from  poor 
old  Driggs  exultant,  but  with  secret  shamefacedness, 
for  how  could  I  recall  that  useless  sudden  outburst  of 
passionate  anger  in  the  morning,  and  that  headlong 


AT   HAWKSMERE.  301 

flight  through  the  woods,  without  perceiving  that  I 
had  acted  like  a  fool  ? 

That  very  evening  I  went  to  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's 
cottage,  and  Ruby,  in  a  gentle,  quiet  way,  seemed  glad 
to  see  me.  But  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  and  three  of  her 
friends  sat  upon  the  porch  through  all  of  my  visit,  and 
I  could  not  speak  with  Ruby  alone. 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  was  kind,  and  she  asked  me  to 
come  again  and  to  be  with  them  upon  the  lake  next 
day  and  in  the  excursions  she  should  make  here  and 
there.  I  could  perceive  that  her  quick  wit  discerned 
my  feelings  for  Ruby,  and  her  graciousness  inclined 
her  to  favor  my  suit.  If  I  had  been  a  solid  Episcopa- 
lian I  think  she  would  have  promoted  it  actively.  As 
I  looked  at  her,  and  saw  her  interest  in  the  matter,  I 
smiled  to  think  how  she  would  have  regarded  Mrs. 
Bantam's  suggestion  that  I  should  endeavor  to  make 
her  mine. 

During  the  next  four  or  five  days  I  tried  in  every 
way  I  could  think  of  to  detach  Ruby  from  her  com- 
panions and  to  have  her  to  myself;  but  in  this  I  could 
not  succeed.  Either  she  would  invite  some  one  or 
two  of  the  company  to  go  with  us ;  or  Mrs.  Purvis- 
Hyde  would  suggest  it  with  an  air  of  having  just 
thought  of  it,  although  I  could  see  that  she  was  pre- 
tending, or  Ruby  had  a  prearranged  plan  in  which  I 
must  join  with  others,  or  she  refused  to  go  at  all. 

I  began  to  despair,  for  it  was  plain  enough  she  had 
a  resolute  purpose  that  I  should  not  obtain  another 
chance  to  speak  to  her  alone;  and,  while  it  was  pleas- 
ing to  be  in  her  company  when  with  others  we  rowed 
upon  the  lake,  or  drove  upon  the  mountain  roads,  or 
explored  the  forest,  or  visited  the  bathing-beach,  I 


302  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

could  not  be  satisfied  to  see  her  thus  while  my  heart 
was  bursting  with  a  desire  to  learn  from  her  whether 
Tom  Driggs  had  guessed  aright  that  she  loved  me. 

One  night,  when  the  moon  hovered  over  the  little 
lake,  and  the  water,  stirred  by  the  faint  breeze,  shim- 
mered in  the  silver  light,  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  and  two  of 
her  friends,  with  Ruby  and  me,  walked  down  to  the 
boat-house,  where  a  dozen  boats  lay ;  and  I  thought 
to  manage  to  have  Ruby  alone  in  a  boat  with  me.  So 
I  persuaded  her  to  step  into  one  and  to  seat  herself; 
and  then  I  swung  the  stern  away  from  the  landing  and 
pretended  to  be  busy  bailing  out  and  fixing  the  row- 
locks and  choosing  the  oars ;  so  that,  when  I  was  done, 
Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  and  her  companions  were  fixed 
comfortably  in  a  larger  boat  wherein  was  no  space  for 
Ruby  or  for  me ;  and  so  perforce  we  must  stay  where 
we  were.  For  appearance'  sake  I  asked  one  of  the 
company  to  come  with  us,  but  this  person  was  com- 
fortable and  contented,  and  so  we  remained  alone,  and 
the  two  boats  started  up  the  lake  together,  leaving  a  wake 
that  rippled  in  the  soft  light  that  fell  upon  the  water. 

It  is  not  easy  for  boats  to  keep  together  under  such 
conditions.  It  is  very  easy  to  fall  apart  if  there  is  no 
desire  for  company.  And  so  I  rowed  our  craft  slowly 
over  to  the  eastern  side  of  the  lake,  where  the  hemlocks 
stood  black  against  the  lustrous  sky,  and  as  we  moved 
along  Ruby  talked  brightly  and  cheerily;  but  I  thought 
I  could  discern  a  tinge  of  dread  in  her  tone.  Perhaps 
it  was  my  own  consciousness  of  a  determination  to 
speak  to  her  that  gave  me  this  notion. 

After  a  while  we  came  to  the  point  where  a  great 
stone  twenty  feet  wide  lay  with  its  foot  in  the  water, 
while  ten  feet  above  the  water  the  bare  surface  formed 


AT   HAWKSMERE.  303 

a  kind  of  platform.  Upon  the  top  of  it  some  voyagers, 
now  departed,  had  left  the  glowing,  flickering  embers 
of  a  fire  which  we  could  plainly  see,  and  on  either  side 
of  the  fire  were  rough  seats,  while  the  grim  forest  lay 
but  two  or  three  yards  distant  at  the  rear. 

"  Let  us  stop  here,  Ruby,  and  renew  the  fire,"  I  said, 
and  without  waiting  for  her  to  answer  I  ran  the  boat 
against  the  shore  and  fastened  it.  She  was  willing  to 
follow  me,  and  soon  the  fire  was  roaring  again  with  the 
dry  hemlock  branches  that  we  heaped  upon  it,  and 
the  crimson  of  the  flames  went  over  the  water  to  meet 
and  to  contrast  itself  with  the  pale  splendor  of  the 
moonlight. 

We  talked  idly  for  a  little  time,  and  then,  as  the 
flames  began  to  burn  less  fiercely  and  to  die  downward, 
I  sat  upon  the  rough  bench  facing  Ruby,  and  I  said 
most  gently : 

"  I  have  tried  to  be  alone  with  you,  Ruby,  but  it 
seemed  to  me  that  you  avoided  me." 

She  looked  at  me  with  trouble  in  her  face. 

"  Shall  we  not  rejoin  our  friends?"  she  said,  glancing 
'out  upon  the  lake. 

"  Stay  with  me  here  but  for  a  moment,"  I  pleaded, 
"  only  for  a  moment,  until  the  fire  has  burned  out." 

She  folded  her  hands  upon  her  lap,  as  if  she  had  agreed 
to  remain,  and  she  fixed  her  eyes  upon  the  embers. 

"  Ruby,"  I  said,  "  forgive  me  for  speaking  to  you 
again,  but  we  cannot  go  on  in  this  manner.  It  is 
torture — torture  for  you  and  for  me.  You  have  only 
to  say  a  word  and  I  will  go  away  from  you  for  ever." 

She  waited  for  a  moment  before  replying,  and  then, 
as  if  she  could  hardly  speak  at  all,  she  said : 

"  No  ;  I  cannot  say  that." 


304  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

I  remembered  in  what  summary  manner  she  had 
dealt  with  Tom  Driggs,  and  I  took  courage. 

"  By  accident  I  saw  you  in  the  boat  with  Tom  Driggs 
on  Tuesday ;  I  thought  you  favored  him,  and  I  rushed 
away  frantic  with  pain." 

"  I  am  sorry  to  have  hurt  you,"  she  said,  almost  ten- 
derly. "  I  do  not  care  for  him.  I  could  not  help  being 
with  him ;  he  urged  me  so." 

"  You  are  sorry  to  be  with  me?" 

"  No." 

"  It  will  be  frightful  to  part  from  you,  Ruby,  but 
better  that  than  to  be  near  to  you  and  shut  out  from 
you.  Better  for  both  of  us." 

"  You  must  not  leave  me,"  she  said,  and  made  a 
little  motion  with  her  hands  as  if  she  had  an  impulse  to 
hold  them  out  to  me.  "  Where  shall  I  look  for  friend- 
ship ?  I  am  alone ;  alone  and  desolate,"  and  she  wept. 

"  I  believe  you  love  me,"  I  said  boldly. 

There  was  no  answer,  but  more  tears,  and  her  hands 
upon  her  face. 

"  Now,  if  that  be  true,"  I  said,  resolved  to  end  the 
matter  there,  if  it  were  possible,  "there  is  a  reason 
why  you  feel  impelled  to  hold  back  from  me — some 
other  reason  than  my  unworthiness.  You  wrong  your- 
self by  not  telling  me  everything." 

Still  she  did  not  answer. 

"  The  matter  is  so  serious  for  both  of  us,  Ruby,  that 
even  at  the  risk  of  hurting  or  offending  you,  I  must 
speak.  If  you  love  me,  then  to  remain  silent  will  be 
to  wreck  our  lives.  I  shall  try  to  guess  why  you  can- 
not give  me  your  confidence." 

She  did  not  bid  me  be  silent ;  so  then  I  said : 

"  I  know  that  you  have  suffered  through  one  who 


AT   HAWKSMERE.  305 

was  dear  to  you.     I  know  it  all.     You  feared  to  have 
me  know  it,  didn't  you  ?" 

She  nodded  mournfully,  her  face  turned  half  away 
from  me,  as  though  she  looked  across  the  lake. 

"  But  I  knew  everything ;  and  you  thought  I  should 
have  shame  for  it  and  for  you,  if  the  facts  were  revealed? 
Forgive  me  if  I  must  say  that." 

She  wept  bitterly. 

"  Well,  it  is  not  so.  That  you  should  have  suffered 
for  such  a  reason  makes  my  love  for  you  tender  with 
unspeakable  compassion.  The  thought  of  your  lone- 
liness and  your  sorrow  has  filled  me  with  anguish.  I 
will  consecrate  my  life  to  you  if  you  will  accept  it,  and 
my  great  love  will  bring  you  peace.  And  now,  Ruby, 
tell  me ;  the  worst  you  feared  for  me  to  know,  but 
that  which  I  have  long  known — was  it  this  that  kept 
you  from  me  ?" 

"  Yes,"  she  said  in  a  trembling  voice. 

"  Then  we  will  put  it  by,  and  we  shall  be  as  if  it  were 
not,  excepting  that  you  shall  speak  to  me  always  of 
any  sorrow  you  may  have.  You  do  love  me,  my  Ruby, 
don't  you  ?"  and  I  went  over  by  her  side  and  took  her 
hand  in  mine. 

"  Yes,  dear  Henry,"  she  said,  looking  up  at  me,  with 
her  eyes  still  wet  with  tears. 

"  My  love,  my  Ruby,  my  wife  !"  I  said.  "  How  you! 
have  suffered !  But  now  we  shall  have  happiness,  or 
blessedness,  which  may  perhaps  be  better." 

"  I  have  been  so  desolate,  Henry,"  she  said ; 
"  orphaned  and  forsaken ;  and  if  you  had  not  loved 
me — !  Did  you  think  it  strange  that  I  laughed  some- 
times ?  but  my  heart  was  always  sad." 

"  But  now,  dearest,  there  will  be  peace." 
20 


306  IN    HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Yes.  Why  did  you  bless  me  on  that  night  long 
ago,  Henry  ?  That  was  strange  and  mysterious.  In 
my  room  that  night  I  wept,  and  yet  I  was  glad." 

"  It  was  a  message,"  I  said,  "  from  one  who  loved 
you.  I  will  tell  you  some  day  how  it  came." 

She  looked  at  me  with  wide-open  eyes,  as  if  she  half 
suspected  that  her  mother  had  been  there ;  and  then 
she  said : 

"  I  loved  you  first  when  you  laid  your  hand  upon 
my  head.  It  was  more  than  a  simple  blessing." 

While  we  talke.d  the  fire  burned  down  to  coals  and 
then  to  ashes,  and  the  moon  swung  over  to  the  western 
side  of  the  lake,  and  the  boats  were  turning  their  prows 
homeward.  So  then,  a  happy  man,  I  put  my  dear  one 
in  the  boat  and  swiftly  we  swept  across  the  water  with 
the  light  of  heaven  pouring  down  upon  us  ;  and  as  we 
went  a  voice  called  to  us  from  another  boat.  It  was 
Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  who  asked  us  if  we  should  go  home 
with  them  ;  and  so  we  rowed  with  her  to  the  landing 
and  walked  to  the  cottage.  Much  to  my  surprise  I 
found  A.  J.  Pelican  sitting  upon  the  porch.  He  had 
come  up  to  Hawksmere  in  the  evening  stage,  and, 
calling  at  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde's  cottage  and  finding 
everybody  away,  he  sat  down  to  wait  for  us.  Mrs. 
Purvis-Hyde  greeted  him  courteously,  and  I  wondered 
a  little  bit  why  Mr.  Pelican  should  have  chosen  that 
place  for  his  short  vacation. 

Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  was  a  wise  woman,  and  so  she 
said  nothing  to  Ruby  or  to  me  of  our  separation  from 
her  on  the  lake,  but  she  looked  at  me  as  we  stood  in 
the  flare  of  her  hall-lamp  and  then  at  Ruby,  and  I  could 
discern  that  she  knew,  as  well  as  if  I  had  told  her,  that 
Ruby  had  joined  her  life  to  mine  that  very  night. 


tarried  at  Hawksmere  until 
the  first  of  August,  having 
such    pleasure   as    I    had 
never  known  in  any  other  vacation 
time.     Mrs.   Purvis-Hyde    learned 
of  my  engagement  with  Ruby,  and 
gave  it  her  strong  approval,  besides 
supplying  all  kinds  of  opportuni- 
ties such  as  lovers  would  be  sure 
to  covet. 

When  July  was  ended  I  must  return  to  Happy  Hol- 
low to  make  preparations  for  the  school  session  and 
to  attend  to  some  personal  matters  in  the  city.  Colonel 
and  Mrs.  Bantam  had  gone  away  for  a  brief  holiday  at 
the  seashore,  and  Elmira  was  in  the  White  Mountains 
with  some  of  her  school  friends.  So  our  house  was 
closed,  but  I  thought  to  stay  there  while  I  remained  in 
the  town  and  to  seek  food  at  the  hotel. 

I  had  a   key  to  the  side  door  of  the  dwelling,  and 
carrying   my  bag,  I  walked  thither  from  the  station, 
expecting  of  course  to  have  all  the  house  to  myself. 
When  I  had  passed  the  front  gate  and  come  around 

307 


3o8  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

into  the  garden  I  found  a  man  sitting  upon  the  top 
step  of  the  porch.  He  was  a  small  man,  about  sixty 
years  old  I  guessed,  and  he  sat  there  with  his  feet  upon 
the  second  step,  his  elbows  upon  his  knees,  his  hands 
extended,  and  his  fingers  touching  while  he  twirled  his 
thumbs.  He  was  dressed  in  a  rather  shabby  grey  suit, 
with  a  grey  slouched  hat,  which  was  pushed  backward 
slightly  from  his  forehead,  as  if  he  felt  warm.  His  full 
beard  and  his  hair  were  grey,  and  his  eyes  seemed  to 
have  the  same  color. 

He  looked  not  at  all  like  a  vagrant  person,  and  yet 
his  attire  conveyed  the  impression  that  he  was  not  a 
man  of  thrift.  From  the  first  glance  I  had  at  him  he 
puzzled  me. 

When  I  came  to  the  porch  he  looked  at  me  for  an 
instant  and  nodded,  but  he  neither  moved  nor  spoke. 
He  just  sat  there  crossing  his  thumbs  and  looking  at 
me  in  what  I  thought  a  timid  way.  I  had  a  queer  im- 
pression that  if  I  should  speak  harshly  to  him  I  should 
frighten  him,  but  indeed  there  was  something  in  his 
look  which  would  have  deterred  me  from  doing  so  if 
I  had  had  an  impulse  of  that  kind. 

I  stopped  in  front  of  him,  supposing  that  he  was  a 
stranger  who  had  perhaps  wandered  into  the  garden  to 
seek  a  place  for  rest,  and  that  he  would  now  explain 
himself,  apologize,  and  take  his  leave. 

But  he  had  no  notion  of  going  away.  While  I  stood 
before  him  he  retained  his  position  and  looked  shyly 
at  me  as  if  he  expected  me  to  speak  first.  I  hardly 
knew  just  what  would  be  best  to  do  about  him;  and  I 
was  vexed  at  his  silence  and  his  immobility,  so  that  I 
began  to  wonder  if  he  were  not  merely  insolent. 

Then  I  took  the  door-key  from  my  pocket  and  ad- 


A   LITTLE   GREY   MAN.  309 

vanced  toward  the  steps.  When  he  saw  the  key  he 
said,  still  with  his  finger-tips  touching  and  his  thumbs 
slowly  revolving : 

"  Live  here  ?" 

"  Yes,"  I  answered. 

"  Hah  !"  he  exclaimed,  withdrawing  his  gaze  from 
me  and  looking  at  the  ground.  He  seemed  to  be  con- 
sidering something. 

"  Bantams  away  ?"  he  asked. 

"  Yes." 

Then  he  began  another  meditation  which  lasted  for 
a  few  moments.  Looking  at  me  as  if  the  question 
required  all  his  courage,  he  asked : 

"  Who  are  you  ?" 

I  told  him ;  and  again  he  looked  downward  and  en- 
gaged in  reflection.  Raising  his  head,  he  inquired,  and 
he  spoke  as  if  he  could  hardly  force  himself  to  utter 
the  words : 

"  Is — where  is — do  you — you — do  you  know  Miss 
Bonner — Ruby  ?" 

"  Yes." 

«  She— is  ?"— 

He  seemed  really  unable  to  complete  the  sentence ; 
and  so  I  told  him  that  she  was  at  Hawksmere  with  a 
friend,  and  that  I  had  come  from  there  that  very  day. 

At  this  he  looked  at  me  more  keenly  than  he  had 
done  at  all  before,  and  I  saw  that  the  man  was  trying 
to  take  my  measure.  I  discerned  also  that  he  was  not 
timid  nor  weak.  There  was  force  in  the  soul  that 
looked  out  from  those  sharp  grey  eyes. 

My  curiosity  was  now  awakened,  and  while  I  would 
much  rather  have  ended  the  matter  and  gone  into  the 
house,  I  could  not  be  satisfied  until  I  knew  who  the 


3io  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

man  was  and  what  was  his  purpose  in  coming  there. 
He  was  silent  again  for  a  little  while,  and  then,  sitting 
in  the  same  posture,  with  his  fingers  spread  and  his 
thumbs  in  slow  motion,  he  said  quietly : 

"  I  am  Amos  Bonner;  Ruby's  father." 

I  do  not  know  why  I  did  not  suspect  it.  No  doubt 
my  reader  has  done  so ;  but,  in  truth,  the  thought  never 
came  into  my  mind,  and  when  the  little  grey  man  re- 
vealed himself  I  felt  the  blood  rush  into  my  face,  and 
I  was  so  confused  that  I  could  hardly  reply  to  him.  I 
suppose  the  shock  of  the  surprise  had  something  to  do 
with  my  feeling,  but  more,  the  consciousness  that  my 
relations  to  Ruby  were  still  hidden  from  him. 

However,  the  feeling  passed  quickly,  and  I  greeted 
him  heartily.  He  did  not  offer  to  shake  hands  or  to 
move  from  the  porch-step.  But  he  asked  me,  still  in  a 
hesitating  way,  about  Ruby  and  the  Bantams  and  El- 
mira  and  myself,  and  about  Dr.  Bulfinch's  school.  I 
did  not  tell  him  of  .the  death  of  Simon  Bulfinch.  I 
could  not  guess  how  he  would  receive  an  allusion  to 
that  man. 

I  invited  him  to  enter  the  house ;  his  house. 

"  Closed,  isn't  it  ?"  he  asked ;  and  when  I  said  that 
it  was,  he  waved  his  hand  toward  the  door  and  said : 

"  No,  you  go  in  and  I  will  wait  here." 

When  I  came  out  he  had  arisen  and  was  sauntering 
about  the  garden,  but  I  am  sure  his  mind  was  not 
fixed  upon  the  things  about  him.  My  return  seemed 
to  awaken  him  from  a  reverie. 

"  I  am  going  to  the  hotel  to  get  dinner,"  I  said  to 
him.  "Will  you  go  with  me?" 

"Yes,"  he  answered,  and  joined  me  as  we  passed 
through  the  gate. 


A   LITTLE   GREY   MAN.  311 

We  walked  to  the  hotel  almost  without  conversa- 
tion, and  Bonner's  silence  annoyed  me.  It  is  so  hard 
to  talk  with  a  man  who  will  not  do  his  share  that  I 
gave  it  up  at  last  and  let  him  alone.  I  know  now  that 
Bonner  was  one  of  those  inarticulate  men  who,  how- 
ever full  their  minds  and  hearts  may  be,  cannot  easily 
interpret  thought  or  feeling  in  speech.  I  am  sure  that 
such  men  suffer  more  keenly  than  those  who  can  ex- 
press themselves  in  words/ 

"When  will  Ruby  come  back?"  This  was  all  that 
he  asked  of  me,  and  when  I  told  him  that  she  had 
proposed  to  stay  in  Hawksmere  until  September,  he 
did  not  reply. 

While  we  dined  I  made  no  attempt  to  talk  with  him, 
and  when  dinner  was  done,  and  I  paid  the  bill,  he  saw 
the  operation  and  gave  no  sign  that  he  would  pay  for 
himself.  I  began  to  fear  that  Colonel  Bantam's  assaults 
upon  my  slender  finances  would  have  reinforcement. 

We  strolled  back  to  the  house,  and  on  the  way  Bon- 
ner said  to  me : 

"Where's  Pelican?" 

"You  know  him?"  I  asked,  but  I  had  no  need  to 
put  such  a  question ;  I  remembered  that  as  boys  they 
had  been  friends. 

"A  little,"  he  answered  softly. 

"  Shall  we  call  there  ?     He  may  be  at  his  office." 

"  No,"  answered  Bonner  coldly,  "  I  don't  care  to  see 
him." 

So  we  came  to  the  house,  and  Bonner  seated  himself 
again  upon  the  porch-step.  I  resolved  just  to  leave 
him  alone.  I  opened  the  door,  and  then  turning  to 
him  I  said : 

"You  will  stay  with  us,  I  suppose?" 


312  .IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

"  Yes,"  he  answered. 

"  Then  I  will  leave  the  door  unlatched,  and  you  can 
go  in  and  out  as  you  please." 

"  I  was  about  to  pass  into  the  house  when  I  heard 
him  say:  "  Henry  !"  and  I  paused.  "  Henry,"  he  said, 
"  send  a  telegram  to  Ruby  to  come  down  to-morrow, 
but  don't  name  me."  The  free  use  of  my  first  name 
appeared  to  me  odd,  but  he  was  an  old  man,  and  there 
could  be  no  offense.  Perhaps  he  meant  it  for  tender- 
ness. 

Later  in  the  day  I  sent  a  despatch  to  Ruby  saying 
that  she  must  start  homeward  next  morning  for  im- 
portant reasons,  but  that  she  might  not  fear  evil,  say- 
ing also  that  pleasure  was  in  store  for  her. 

That  night  Bonner  had  only  his  own  company  in 
the  old  home,  for  I  stayed  in  my  room,  but  he  went 
with  me  to  breakfast  and  to  dinner,  for  which  I  paid, 
and  he  was  no  more  talkative  than  he  had  been  yes- 
terday. 

When  I  showed  him  Ruby's  telegram,  saying  that 
she  would  reach  Happy  Hollow  at  seven  o'clock,  he 
folded  the  paper,  and  handing  it  to  me,  he  said : 

"  Meet  her,  Henry.    I  will  be  in  the  parlor  at  home." 

When  the  train  drew  into  the  station  at  seven  o'clock 
I  greeted  my  dear  one  and  put  her  in  a  carriage.  No 
sooner  were  we  seated  than  she  said  to  me  : 

"  What  is  it,  Henry  ?" 

Before  I  had  a  chance  to  answer  her,  she  said, 
clasping  my  hand : 

"  It  is  father  come  back !"  and  I  saw  that  lovely  face 
flush  with  joy  as  I  answered : 

"  Yes,  my  dear." 

She  seemed  as  if  she  could  not  speak  again,  but  her 


A   LITTLE   GREY   MAN. 


313 


hand  tightened  upon  mine,  and  I  knew  that  poor  little 
heart  was  filled  with  strong  emotion. 

When  we  reached  our  gate  she  went  in  first,  and 
made  as  if  she  would  hurry.  Then  she  turned  about, 
and  putting  her  hand  in  my  arm  she  said  softly : 

"  Take  me  to  him,  dearest." 

We  went  upon  the  porch  and  in  through  the  door 
to  the  dining-room  ;  thence  to  the  hall,  where 
through  the  parlor  door  I  caught  a  glimpse   -J|  J 
of  Amos  Bonner  walking  to  and  fro.     Leav- 
ing me,  Ruby 
ran    to    him. 
He  took  her 
in    his  arms, 
and    without 
even   kissing 
her,  he  began 
to  sob  so  vio- 
lently that  I 
feared        for 
him. 

What  in-' 
stinct  was  it 
in  the  girl 
that  impelled 
her  to  re- 
strain her  own  overcharged  feelings,  and  with  cooing 
tones  and  soft,  tender  words  to  try  to  comfort  him  ? 
She  was  like  a  mother  with  a  boy  who  had  some  wild 
outburst  of  sorrow.  She  stroked  his  head,  and  kissed 
his  brow,  and  led  him  to  the  sofa,  where  he  sat  with 
one  hand  holding  hers,  and  seemed  as  if  he  could  not 


Ruby  meets  her  father. 


3H  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

subdue  the  violence  of  his  emotion  long  enough  to 
command  utterance. 

I  went  away  and  left  them  there,  and  after  a  while 
I  heard  her  voice  and  his,  and  I  knew  that  at  last  that 
man  who  had  so  long  suffered  anguish  was  rinding 
peace  with  the  one  he  loved  the  best. 

Two  long  hours  they  sat  there  and  talked,  and  then 
I  heard  Ruby  calling  for  me : 

"  Come  down,  Henry.  Father  wishes  to  see  you," 
and  I  obeyed  the  summons. 

They  were  sitting  upon  the  sofa,  and  his  arm  was 
about  her,  while  his  hand  held  hers.  Her  face  was 
bright  with  smiles,  but  he  looked  sober,  and  his  face 
had  that  queer,  timid  expression  that  I  had  noted 
when  first  I  met  him.  I  learned  to  understand  it  as 
the  sign  and  token  of  suffering  silently  endured  for 
many  years. 

Ruby  talked  for  him  now. 

"  I  have  told  dear  father  of  all  you  did  for  me  in  my 
studies,  and  that  you  have  asked  me  to  be  your  wife." 

"  I  knew  it,  Henry,"  said  Bonner,  "  when  you  spoke 
of  Ruby  upon  the  porch.  God  bless  you,  my  son !" 

Then  we  talked,  but  Ruby  and  I  chiefly  talked,  of 
Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam,  of  Dr.  Bulfinch  and  my 
school,  of  Elmira,  of  Spiker,  and  then  of  Julie.  Some- 
times there  was  a  thing  to  laugh  about  a  bit,  and  Ruby 
and  I  laughed ;  but  Bonner  seemed  as  if  he  could  not 
laugh.  When  we  told  of  Spiker  and  of  Julie,  and 
Ruby  had  become  almost  tearful  as  she  said  she 
believed  Julie  really  loved  him,  and  how  much  she 
loved  Julie,  Bonner  said : 

"  I  always  knew  about  her.  She  was  worthy  to  care 
for  my  girl.  We  must  stand  by  her,  Henry." 


A   LITTLE   GREY    MAN.  315 

So,  far  into  the  night  we  sat  together,  and  when  we 
said  good-night  we  knew  how  Bonner,  having  fled 
away  to  Australia  to  escape  his  misery,  had  been 
anchored  there  and  involved  in  business  there  so  that 
he  could  not  return  when  he  would,  and  how  A.  J. 
Pelican  had  written  to  him  constantly,  and  Julie  had 
written  to  him  to  tell  him  of  Ruby. 

The  next  morning  it  was  agreed  that  Ruby  should 
take  up  the  housekeeping  until  Mrs.  Bantam  should 
return ;  so  we  sent  for  Spiker,  who  was  at  the  hotel, 
and  he  came  to  us,  and  Elmira  returned  in  a  few  days, 
and  we  were  once  more  a  household. 

Elmira  was  warm  in  her  congratulations  to  Ruby 
and  to  me,  and  Spiker  wrung  my  hand  and  said  he  was 
joyful ;  but  he  looked  mournful,  poor  man,  and  could 
not  help  exclaiming,  "  And  Julie  is  gone,  Sprat,  gone  !" 

Day  after  day  Amos  Bonner  went  sauntering  about, 
examining  the  wonderful  things  that  had  been  done, 
but  manifesting  indifferent  concern  about  them.  He 
was  closeted  much  with  A.  J.  Pelican,  whose  activities 
increased  now  that  great  repairs  must  be  carried  for- 
ward because  of  Colonel  Bantam's  deluge;  but  in 
general  A.  J.  Pelican  seemed  to  take  little  note  of  the 
new-comer. 

After  a  while  Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  came  to  us 
again  and  were  much  surprised  to  find  Bonner  in  the 
old  house.  The  very  first  day  of  their  arrival  I  passed 
the  parlor  door  and  heard  the  Colonel  saying  some- 
thing to  Bonner  about  "  my  grave  financial  embarrass- 
ment," and  I  heard  Bonner  quietly,  but  with  a  tone 
that  admitted  no  room  for  controversy,  say  "  No  !"  and 
I  knew  what  the  Colonel  had  drawn  the  new-comer 
into  the  parlor  for. 


3i6  IN    HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

By  that  time  Spiker  had  arranged  that  Elmira  should 
conduct  the  Woman's  Department  in  the  Defender, 
and  she  was  doing  it  in  her  own  way  when  her  father 
and  mother  returned. 

Mrs.  Bantam  overflowed  with  joy  when  Ruby  told 
her  of  her  engagement  with  me. 

"  How  perfectly,  perfectly  sweet  and  lovely !"  she 
said,  as  she  flew  to  Ruby  and  kissed  her  and  then 
came  and  kissed  me.  "  It  is  too  delightful  for  any- 
thing, you  darling  child !  And  Mr.  Sprat  is  so  nice. 
Now  you  know,  dear  Mr.  Sprat,  from  your  own  lovely 
experience,  that  love  is  the  very  elixir  of  bliss.  How 
very,  very  odd  that  this  dear  little  drama  of  the  affec- 
tions should  go  on  beneath  my  very  eyes  and  I  should 
be  blind  to  it !  I  could  never  have  imagined  such  a 
thing ;  but,  of  course,  the  reason  is  that  I  am  so  com- 
pletely absorbed  by  my  love  for  darling  Joseph ;  and, 
really,  seeing  you  two  lovers  together  makes  me  feel 
that  I  love  him  more  than  ever.  Where  is  your  dear 
uncle,  Ruby,  my  child  ?" 

The  Colonel  saw  me  alone  when  he  congratulated  me : 

"  Professor,  I  am  pleased  to  welcome  learning  into  a 
family  that  has  been  distinguished  for  valor.  Give  me 
your  hand.  Your  choice  is  as  creditable  to  your  sound 
judgment  as  it  is  to  the  warmth  of  your  affection. 
You  have  an  old  soldier's  blessing  ;  but  I  take  the 
liberty  of  an  extended  friendship,  Professor,  to  indicate 
to  you  that,  unless  all  appearances  are  misleading,  the 
dowry  of  your  bride  will  have  insignificant  proportions. 
Amos,  I  fear,  has  returned  to  us  in  a  condition  not  far 
removed  from  most  inconvenient  impecuniosity.  In  fact, 
you  may  have  to  take  care  of  him  when  you  marry." 

It  was  a  time  of  surprises.     Mrs.  Bantam  had  not 


A   LITTLE   GREY   MAN.  317 

been  home  many  days  when  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  called 
to  see  her,  and  before  leaving  confided  to  her  the  fact 
that  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  had  engaged  to  marry  A.  J. 
Pelican. 

"  I  know,  dear  Mrs.  Bantam,"  she  said,  "  that  Pelican 
is  a  terrible  name,  terrible ;  but  I  need  a  refuge,  and 
Andrew  loves  me  tenderly." 

She  and  Mrs.  Bantam  were  so  happy  that  they  had 
a  good  cry  together — Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  because  she 
loved  Andrew  so  much,  and  Mrs.  Bantam  because  she 
loved  love  and  lovers  more  than  anything  else  in  this 
rolling  world. 

"And  they  have  made  Andrew  a  vestryman  in  our 
church,"  continued  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde,  "  and  he  will  go 
on  the  committee  on  finance,  and  we  shall  send  him  as 
a  delegate  to  the  next  diocesan  convention,  and  I  am 
sure  before  long  he  will  be  a  thoroughly  sound  church- 
man. Dr.  Fury  is  delighted." 

Mrs.  Bantam  also  was  delighted,  because  all  these 
marriage  matters  pleased  her,  but  she  said  to  me  after- 
ward: 

"  It  will  involve  dear  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  in  complete 
loss  of  tone.  There  will  be  no  tone  at  all  when  she 
becomes  Mrs.  Pelican ;  and  Mrs.  L.  Addison  Merwyn 
cannot  stand  the  name  of  Pelican.  But  what  need 
Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  care  if  she  has  another  heart  that 
throbs  in  unison  with  her  own  ?" 

Mr.  Spiker  was  not  completely  satisfied  with  Elmira 
Bantam's  method  of  editing  the  Woman's  Department. 
One  day  in  my  room  he  said  to  me  : 

"  Elmira  Bantam  intellectually,  Sprat,  is  all  right. 
She  has  brains  enough  for  four  people;  but  she  doesn't 
quite  catch  the  spirit  of  the  Woman's  Department,  it 


3i8  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

seems  to  me.  Brains  are  not  the  very  first  considera- 
tion there,  you  know.  Women  want  to  know  about 
freckles,  and  hints  for  the  toilette,  and  how  to  serve 
lunch  for  four,  and  how  to  make  lemon  pudding.  But 
Elmira  insists  upon  urging  them  to  break  the  shackles, 
and  that  kind  of  thing.  I  don't  notice  that  women 
have  so  many  shackles,  not  here  in  Happy  Hollow,  do 
you,  Sprat?  There  are  no  perceptible  shackles  on 
Elmira. 

"  And  she  puts  in  things  about  '  How  to  Rule  Hus- 
bands '  and  the  'Advantages  of  Remaining  Single,' 
which  give  a  bad  tone  to  the  paper. 

"  Did  you  ever  know  a  woman,  Sprat,  that  wanted 
to  be  told  that  her  greatest  need  is  to  have  her  yoke 
lifted,  or  that  her  high  destiny  is  to  be  released  from 
thraldom  ?  Well,  but  that's  the  sort  of  thing  Elmira 
will  preach  in  the  Woman's  Department,  and  it's  hurt- 
ing my  circulation  in  families. 

"  And  then  she  refuses  to  take  any  part  of  her  salary 
in  bonnets  and  umbrellas,  and  says  she  has  no  use  for 
the  apple-butter  and  garden  stuff  that  drift  in  from  the 
farmers  for  subscriptions.  Insists  on  cold  cash.  Elmira 
always  had  nerve,  hadn't  she  ?  I  hate  to  see  a  grasp- 
ing spirit  in  a  woman  ! 

"  What  would  you  do  about  it  ?  Discontinue  the 
Woman's  Department,  or  throw  Elmira  over  and  edit 
it  yourself? 

"  Only  the  plague  of  it  is  I  can't  answer  half  the 
women's  questions.  There's  a  woman  over  at  Bird-in- 
Hand  writes  to  me  to-day  to  ask  about  the  language 
of  flowers,  and  what  buttercups  mean.  I  don't  know 
what  they  mean,  do  you  ?  And  when  I've  finished  an 
editorial  upon  the  tariff,  I'm  too  much  exhausted  to  go 


A   LITTLE   GREY   MAN.  319 

to  studying  up  the  language  of  flowers  and  the  sym- 
bolism of  buttercups." 

"Why  not  marry  Elmira,"  I  ventured  to  suggest, 
"and  start  a  Legal  Department?" 

"  Do  you  know,  Sprat,"  said  Mr.  Spiker,  "  I've  had 
that  in  my  mind  ?  And  maybe  she'd  run  the  Woman's 
Department  right  if  she  were  a  partner. 

"  A  woman  wrote  me  only  yesterday  from  over  at 
Purgatory  Springs  asking  advice  about  smoothing  out 
wrinkles ;  and  I  had  almost  to  quarrel  with  Elmira  to 
get  her  to  let  me  cancel  an  answer  in  which  she  said 
that  a  woman  who  cared  about  wrinkles  was  only  fit 
to  be  a  serf.  She  advised  this  Purgatory  Springs 
woman  to  drop  worrying  about  her  countenance  and 
to  study  Mill  on  Liberty !  Think  of  that,  Sprat,  to  a 
regular  subscriber !" 

But,  while  Emerson  Spiker  was  considering  the 
demands  of  the  Woman's  Department  for  a  more  sym- 
pathetic editor,  events  of  serious  importance  occupied 
the  columns  of  the  journal  to  such  an  extent  as  to 
reduce  to  a  place  of  comparative  insignificance  Miss 
Bantam's  editorial  work. 

Everybody  in  Happy  Hollow  knew,  and  all  the 
countryside  knew,  that  the  freshet  for  which'  Colonel 
Bantam  seemed  to  be  in  some  degree  responsible,  had 
done  much  harm  to  the  enterprises  of  the  Improvement 
Company.  The  stockholders  could  do  nothing  but 
await  an  announcement  of  some  kind  respecting  the 
matter  from  the  officers  of  the  company.  But  the  bank 
was  supposed  to  have,  and  almost  certainly  did  have, 
close  relations  with  the  Improvement  Company,  and 
bank  depositors  are  always  ready  for  prompt  and  some- 
times foolish  action. 


320  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Nothing  had  happened  to  supply  any  good  reason 
for  doubting  the  solvency  of  the  bank,  but  when  fear 
begins  to  spread  few  men  look  for  reason.  It  is  indeed 
remarkable  with  what  rapidity  fear  in  such  a  case  is 
communicated  to  a  community  without  an  apparent 
agency.  It  flashes  from  man  to  man  like  a  current  of 
electricity,  and  within  a  few  moments  those  who  feared 
nothing  are  filled  with  senseless  panic. 

One  morning  all  Happy  Hollow  and  all  the  rural 
neighborhoods  suddenly  acquired  a  belief  that  the 
bank  would  fail,  and  soon  the  depositors  began  to 
flock  to  the  building,  excited  and  eager  to  withdraw 
their  money. 

Colonel  Bantam,  who  had  no  money  in  the  bank, 
observed  the  movement  with  anger  and  consternation, 
for  he  thought  he  perceived  in  it  a  menace  to  the  Im- 
provement Company  and  his  blocks  of  stock.  It  oc- 
curred to  the  Colonel  that  he  had  a  duty  to  perform, 
not  only  as  a  stockholder  in  the  company,  but  as  the 
chief  magistrate  of  the  town. 

He  went  into  his  office,  and  in  a  large,  bold  hand  he 
wrote  and  signed  a  paper  which  he  then  tacked  upon 
the  front  door  of  the  bank. 

"  To  the  public  : 

"  I  positively  guarantee  with  my  entire  fortune  every 
deposit  in  this  bank. 

"  JOSEPH  BANTAM." 

The  paper  was  read  by  the  persons  in  line  awaiting 
their  turn  at  the  teller's  desk,  and  the  clerks  thought 
their  anxiety  seemed  to  deepen.  At  any  rate,  in  a 
short  time  the  feeling  of  uneasiness  in  the  town  was 


A   LITTLE   GREY    MAN. 


321 


intensified  so  that  there  was  a  genuine  panic.  Every 
man  in  Happy  Hollow  who  had  money  in  the  bank 
wanted  it,  and  wanted  it  at  once. 

The  teller  was 
more  deliberate  than 
usual  in  paying  the 
applicants,  but  every 
check  was  cashed 
until  three  o'clock 
came,  when  further 
payments  were  re- 
fused until  to-mor- 
row. The  unsuc- 
cessful applicants 
were  angry  and 
clamorous,  and 
many  of  the  women 
wept. 

Compelled  to 
leave  the  bank  build- 
ing, every  one  of 
them  believed  his 
money  lost,  and 
upon  the  pavement 
an  indignation  meet- 
ing was  held  at 
which  some  rash 
spirits  actually  pro- 
posed to  lynch  A.  J. 
Pelican  and  Colonel 
Bantam. 

While  I  was  ob- 
serving the  crowd,  and  mourning  deeply  that  this 

21 


The  Colonel  guarantees  the  bank. 


322  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

trouble  had  come  to  the  town  and  the  people  and  to 
A.  J.  Pelican,  Amos  Bonner  touched  my  arm. 

"  Come  here,  Henry,"  he  said. 

We  entered  the  bank  by  the  side  door,  and  went 
into  the  president's  room.  A.  J.  Pelican  was  there, 
with  wretchedness  written  upon  his  face.  He  sat  in 
his  chair,  fanning  himself  with  his  wig,  and  looking  as 
I  had  seen  him  do  upon  the  stage  on  that  night  long 
ago,  when  A.  J.  Pelican's  Stupendous  Star  Combination 
fell  to  pieces. 

"What  are  we  to  do  now,  Amos?"  he  asked,  as  we 
came  in. 

"  I  have  wired  for  money,"  said  Bonner,  "and  Henry 
here  will  bring  it  up  on  the  morning  train." 

"  How  much  ?"  asked  Pelican. 

"A  hundred  thousand  dollars,"  said  Bonner,  at 
which  I  was  more  astonished  than  I  could  well  ex- 
press. 

The  look  of  forlornness  vanished  from  A.  J.  Peli- 
can's face.  He  put  on  his  wig  and  smiled. 

"  That  saves  us,  Amos  ;  more  than  saves  us." 

"  You  will  go,  Henry  ?"  asked  Bonner. 

"  Yes." 

"  Take  a  large  satchel  and  have  a  trusty  man  with 
you.  Go  armed.  Get  here  sure  at  9.37  in  the  morn- 
ing." 

When  I  had  further  instructions  and  the  right  cre- 
dentials, I  found  a  man  who  could  accompany  me,  and 
we  went  to  the  city  in  the  night  train. 

Amos  Bonner's  requisition  was  honored,  and  I 
reached  the  bank  just  before  ten  o'clock  next  morning. 
There  was  a  great  throng  about  the  door,  and  in  it 
were  many  whom  I  knew.  I  did  not  hide  my  errand, 


A   LITTLE   GREY   MAN.  323 

but  to  two  or  three  I  told  of  the  visit  to  the  city,  and 
assured  them  that  I  had  in  the  satchel  money  equal  to 
the  entire  capital  of  the  bank. 

A  number  of  the  applicants  went  away  at  once. 
Others  were  unbelievers,  but  when  the  bank  opened 
and  the  bundles  of  notes  were  heaped  upon  the  teller's 
counter,  the  pressure  relaxed,  and  in  a  quarter  of  an 
hour  was  ended.  Before  noon  three-fourths  of  the 
persons  who  had  drawn  their  money  out  the  day  before 
re-deposited  it,  and  the  panic  was  over. 

But  Amos  Bonner  had  acquired  a  new  kind  of  in- 
terest for  me. 


SCHOOL  opened  in  September,  and  when  I  walked  out 
to  the  old  Academy  building  upon  the  first  day  of  the 
session  I  had  no  thought  but  that  I  should  carry  on 
my  work  there  all  winter,  as  I  had  done  in  the  preced- 
ing year,  and  that  Happy  Hollow  and  its  people  would 
remain  about  as  they  had  been.  But  changes  in  this 
changeful  world  are  likely  to  come  in  groups  and  un- 
expectedly ;  and  long  before  the  year  was  ended  I  and 
my  friends  were  living  our  lives  under  wholly  new  con- 
ditions. 

The  school  was  sparsely  attended,  and  Dr.  Bulfinch 
was  deeply  grieved  as  he  watched  the  few  boys  come 
into  the  main  room  on  that  first  morning.  The  story 
told  by  Simon  had  left  an  impression  upon  the  parents, 
and  the  Doctor's  relationship  to  that  bad  man  had  also 
been  hurtful ;  and  so  many  of  the  old  pupils  had  been 
324 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        325 

sent  away  from  the  town  to  school,  and  others  were 
put  into  the  public  school. 

The  Doctor  would  not  open  his  heart  to  me  about 
it,  but  I  could  perceive  that  he  sorrowed  much  because 
of  the  hurt  to  his  business,  and  also  because  of  the  in- 
justice of  the  treatment  accorded  to  him.  I,  too,  had 
cause  for  sorrow,  for  I  felt  sure  he  could  not  afford  to 
pay  me  fully  for  my  services. 

But  we  began  our  work  with  what  courage  we  could 
find,  and  for  a  fortnight  went  along  in  the  old  way- 
Then  the  Improvement  Company  passed  its  first  divi- 
dend, and  at  once  fell  into  such  discredit  that  one  of 
the  large  contractors,  unable  to  get  his  money,  brought 


action  against  it. 


The  Improvement  Company  collapsed.  Collapse 
indeed  seems  to  be  the  fate  of  such  booms  as  that 
which  was  started  in  Happy  Hollow  by  A.  J.  Pelican. 
But  I  do  believe  our  Improvement  Company  would 
have  been  successful  had  not  the  Bantam  deluge  hurt 
its  property.  The  repairs  to  the  railroad,  the  park, 
and  the  lake  called  for  much  money,  and  the  Aramink 
Hotel,  having  missed  the  whole  season,  stood  for  a 
dead  investment,  besides  the  cost  of  putting  it  in  order 
after  the  freshet.  And  then  the  horse  railroad,  in  spite 
of  its  popularity,  never  paid  expenses  ;  and  so,  when 
one  of  the  largest  creditors  became  impatient  and  sus- 
picious, the  whole  mass  of  the  property  went  into  the 
hands  of  the  sheriff. 

All  the  town  was  in  gloom  because  of  this  catas- 
trophe ;  but  the  gloomiest  man  was  Colonel  Bantam, 
whose  dividends,  upon  which  he  had  counted  so  largely, 
had  vanished,  and  whose  blocks  of  stock  were  now 
valueless.  The  Colonel  talked  about  the  urgent  cred- 


326  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

itor  who  had  brought  about  the  collapse  as  if  the  human 
race  had  contained  few  members  of  character  so  atro- 
cious or  greed  so  reckless. 

Mrs.  Bantam  called  upon  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  to  talk 
the  trouble  over,  and  to  have  a  good  cry  together. 

"  Andrew,  I  fear,  dear  Mrs.  Bantam,  will  be  reduced 
to  beggary,"  said  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde. 

"  And  Joseph  has  lost  his  all — literally  his  all — after 
jeoparding  his  life  to  save  an  ungrateful  country." 

But  all  was  not  lost,  for  on  the  day  of  the  sheriff's 
sale,  Amos  Bonner  took  me  with  him,  and  at  his  com- 
mand I  bought  the  entire  property  of  the  company, 
which  he  reorganized  on  a  basis  of  equity  to  the  stock- 
holders ;  that  is  to  say,  any  stockholder  could  have 
his  proportion  of  interest  if  he  would  pay  his  propor- 
tion of  indebtedness ;  and  this  was  very  handsome, 
when  we  consider  that  Bonner  could  have  kept  the 
whole  thing  for  himself. 

Before  this  matter  had  been  fully  adjusted  the  No- 
vember elections  came  near,  and  they  had  a  great  sur- 
prise for  us,  for  the  Democratic  candidate  for  Congress 
for  our  district  and  the  Republican  candidate  were 
both  out  of  favor  with  the  people  who  disliked  machine 
domination ;  and  so,  at  the  very  last  moment,  the  Re- 
formers held  a  convention  and  nominated  Colonel 
Joseph  Bantam  as  their  representative.  The  Colonel 
was  chosen,  it  was  said,  because  of  his  "  war-record." 

The  chance  that  the  Colonel  would  be  elected,  or 
that  any  reform  candidate  could  be  elected,  seemed 
very  small  indeed.  Had  it  been  larger,  quite  likely 
another  man  would  have  received  the  nomination ; 
but  upon  the  night  of  the  election  day  Happy  Hol- 
low was  astonished  by  the  announcement  that  the 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        327 


Reformers,  by  rallying  the  disaffected  from  both  the 
parties,  had  elected  Colonel  Bantam  by  a  plurality  of 
seven  votes. 

Colonel  Bantam  was  delirious  with  joy,  and  after  a 
sleepless  night  he  went  about  the  town  all  day  receiv- 


The  road  to  glory. 


ing  the  congratulations 
of  the  people,  and  mak- 
ing promises  respecting 
his  career  as  a  member 
of  Congress  which  were 
almost  reckless  in  their 
nature. 

In  the  evening  I  sat 
with  him  and  Mrs.  Bantam  in  the  parlor  at  home.  Both 
of  them  were  perfectly  happy.  Mrs.  Bantam's  chair 
was  close  to  the  Colonel's,  and,  excepting  when  he 
made  gestures  as  he  talked,  she  held  his  hand. 

The  Colonel's  mind  was  wholly  engaged  in  con- 
templating his  coming  career  as  a  statesman,  and  as 
his  imagination  played  with  the  subject  there  was  ex- 
uberance of  joyfulness  in  his  manner  and  speech. 

"  Called,"  he  said,  "  from  the  camp  to  the  councils 
of  the  nation,  I  shall  devote  my  trained  powers  to 
the  government  of  my  country.  Although  the  emolu- 
ments of  my  high  office  are  pitifully  disproportionate 
to  the  responsibilities  of  the  position,  my  purpose  is  to 
engage  a  luxurious  suite  of  apartments  in  one  of  the 
most  spacious  hotels  in  the  national  capital,  and  to  en- 


328  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

tertain  my  friends  and  constituents  with  expansive 
hospitality. 

"  I  shall  make,  during  the  first  session,  a  series  of 
orations  upon  important  topics.  I  shall  speak  upon 
Indians  and  irrigation,  and  I  shall  make  four,  perhaps 
five,  speeches  upon  the  tariff  and  upon  transportation. 
Then  education,  our  merchant  marine,  and  the  tor- 
pedo service  will  also  engage  my  attention,  and  I  shall 
pursue  a  bold  and  vigorous  policy  with  respect  to  the 
currency,  the  propagation  of  food-fishes,  and  the  expan- 
sion of  our  foreign  commerce.  In  a  carefully  prepared 
oration  upon  agriculture  I  have  determined  to  arrange 
for  the  introduction  of  banana-culture  to  Florida,  and 
I  shall  scatter  seeds  about  my  own  district  until  Blair 
County  blossoms  as  the  rose." 

Mrs.  Bantam  was  about  to  interrupt  him,  but  he  put 
his  free  hand  upon  her  arm,  and  said : 

"  One  moment,  love !  I  was  about  to  add  that  I 
have  thought  to  insist,  in  a  speech  of  some  length, 
upon  consideration  of  a  national  law  covering  marriage 
and  divorce,  and  perhaps — " 

"  Marriage  should  be  made  compulsory,  Joseph," 
said  Mrs.  Bantam.  "  Be  positive  about  that." 

"  I  fear,  Edith,  that  such  an  enactment  might  be 
regarded  as  extreme.  We  must  proceed  with  cautious 
footsteps  in  these  matters.  I  have  it  in  my  mind  to  pro- 
pose some  kind  of  a  bounty  to  encourage  matrimony. 
Say  we  should  offer  one  hundred  acres  of  land  from 
the  national  domain,  and  then  a  free  railroad  pass,  so 
that  the  bride  and  groom  could  run  out  and  visit  their 
property  during  the  honeymoon." 

"  The  dear  lambs  !"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Bantam.  "  It 
would  be  just  lovely." 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        329 

"  However,"  continued  the  Colonel,  "  I  shall  give 
the  whole  matter  adequate  investigation,  and,  besides,  I 
shall  at  once  prepare  a  dredging  bill,  to  deepen  our 
little  brook  clear  down  to  the  river  and  to  excavate 
the  river  out  to  the  great  deep,  so  as  to  make  Happy 
Hollow  into  a  seaport  and  to  bring  the  commerce  of 
the  world  to  our  very  doors.  The  time  will  come,  my 
love,  when  you  will  look  out  from  this  window  upon 
forests  of  masts  lying  right  over  yonder — masts  of  East 
Indiamen  and  other  monarchs  of  the  ocean  laden  with 
the  rich  merchandise  of  far-distant  lands. 

"  The  thought  has  occurred  to  me,  also,  why  not  re- 
populate  our  western  plains  with  herds  of  bison,  and 
why  not  adopt  coercive  legislation  for  the  cultivation  of 
the  angora  goat  and  other  rare  fibre-bearing  animals  ? 
I  shall  reflect  upon  this,  and  probably  provide  that  it 
shall  be  done.  I  have  already  sketched  out  in  my 
mind  the  outlines  of  speeches  upon  our  waste  lands 
and  our  foreign  relations.  My  purpose,  Professor,  is 
ultimately  to  have  my  speeches  collected,  and  after 
careful  revision,  bound  in  several  volumes,  half  calf,  and 
I  will  frank  you  a  set  as  soon  as  they  appear." 

Mrs.  Bantam,  beaming  upon  the  Colonel  while  he 
spoke,  now  said : 

"  The  Colonel  has  always  needed  scope,  and  now, 
for  the  first  time  in  his  life,  it  is  presented  to  him ;  ade- 
quate scope." 

"Yes,"  said  the  Colonel,  "scope;  opportunity. 
Having  saved  my  country  upon  the  field  of  war,  I  shall 
now  engage  in  the  more  difficult,  but  by  no  means  un- 
alluring,  task  of  directing  its  mighty  destinies." 

"  You  will  command  both  army  and  navy,  Joseph, 
will  you  not  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Bantam. 


330 


IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 


"  No,  Edith.  That  is  still  the  prerogative  of  the  Ex- 
ecutive ;  but  I  think  it  a  matter  well  worthy  the  serious 
consideration  of  the  Legislator  if  the  time  has  not  come 
for  recasting  the  fundamental  law  so  that  the  functions 
of  the  Executive  Branch  shall  be  circumscribed.  I  will 
give  the  subject  thought.  There  is  grave  danger,  in 

my  judgment,  that  the 
Executive  Branch,  by 
gradual  encroachment 
upon  the  Legislative 
Arm,  may  usurp  its 
powers,  and  reduce 
the  representatives  of 
the  sovereign  people 
to  more  or  less  insig- 
nificance. I  shall  speak 
upon  that  theme  also." 
Mrs.  Bantam  ex- 


plained that  she  in- 
tended to  sit  by  his 
side  while  he  thun- 
dered his  orations,  and 
to  hold  his  hat  and 
his  manuscript,  so 
that  she  could  prompt 
him. 

"  That  will  be  im- 
possible, my  love," 
replied  the  Colonel. 
"  Women  are  not  per- 
mitted to  have  access  to  the  floor  of  the  House.  You 
can  sit  in  the  gallery,  and  if  the  impulses  of  your  heart 
prompt  it,  you  may  toss  a  bouquet  to  me  from  time 


You  may  toss  a  bouquet  to  me." 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        331 

to  time.  I  shall,  however,  insist  upon  alteration  of  the 
rules  of  the  House  so  that  a  member  may,  if  he  wish, 
have  the  partner  of  his  life  close  by  his  side.  I  shall 
bring  the  matter  to  the  attention  of  the  Speaker ;  that 
is,  if  I  do  not  assume  the  Speakership  myself.  I  have 
had  an  impulse  to  do  it." 

"  I  am  sure,  Mr.  Sprat,"  said  Mrs.  Bantam,  "  no  one 
deserves  it  so  much  as  the  Colonel  does. 

"  In  any  case,"  continued  Colonel  Bantam,  "  the 
public  offices  at  my  disposal  will  be  many  in  number, 
and  I  am  not  the  man  to  forget  the  sacred  obligations 
of  friendship.  Think,  Professor,  if  there  is  any  place 
you  would  like  to  have.  I  assure  you  it  is  yours.  A 
consulship,  for  example,  in  the  sunny  climes  of  the 
Southern  continent,  in  historic  Europe,  in  the  hoary 
lands  of  the  East,  in  the  perfumed  islands  of  the 
tropic  seas.  Make  your  choice ;  I  place  no  restrictions 
upon  you." 

While  Colonel  Bantam  thus  graciously  offered  me 
the  earth  to  choose  from,  Emerson  Spiker  entered  the 
room.  As  he  seated  himself  he  said: 

"  I  am  sorry  to  say  there  is  some  rather  bad  news." 

It  struck  me  Spiker  did  not  look  very  sorry,  but  I 
may  have  been  mistaken  in  the  expression  of  his  coun- 
tenance. 

"  You  know,"  he  said,  "  there  was  a  dispute  over  the 
vote  in  the  third  ward  at  Purgatory  Springs  ?" 

"  Well  ?"  exclaimed  the  Colonel  with  impatient 
eagerness. 

"  And  you  know,"  said  Spiker,  "  that  the  ballot-box 
was  taken  into  court  for  a  recount  ?" 

"Yes;  well?" 

Mr.  Spiker  hesitated ;  then  he  said : 


332  IN   HAPPY    HOLLOW. 

"  Well,  a  despatch  came  to  the  Defender  just  as  I 
was  leaving  the  office  to  the  effect  that  the  judge  threw 
out  eight  fraudulent  votes." 

"  Eight  votes ;  well,  what  of  it  ?"  asked  the  Colo- 
nel. 

"  That  elects  Billings  to  Congress,"  said  Spiker. 

Colonel  Bantam  turned  white,  and  Mrs.  Bantam  drew 
her  handkerchief  from  her  pocket  and  put  one  hand 
to  the  back  of  her  head. 

"  It  is  impossible,  sir !"  exclaimed  the  Colonel  an- 
grily. "  This  is  but  a  nefarious  attempt  to  deprive  the 
people  of  the  representative  in  Congress  who  was  their 
first  choice.  I  shall  fight  it,  sir,  upon  the  floor  of  the 
House.  It  is  scandalous  that  such  crimes  should  be 
possible  in  a  civilized  country."  But  the  Colonel  had 
difficulty  to  keep  up  his  courage,  and  Mrs.  Bantam 
broke  down  wholly.  The  Colonel  was  so  much 
agitated  that  he  forgot  to  try  to  comfort  her,  but 
walked  up  and  down  the  room,  furious  at  the  evil  fate 
that  had  befallen  him. 

"  Are  you  sure,  Mr.  Spiker,"  I  asked,  "  that  the 
report  is  true  ?" 

"  Not  sure,"  said  Spiker,  "  I  give  it  to  you  just  as  it 
reached  me." 

"  Suppose  we  go  to  the  telegraph  office  and  try  to 
learn  the  truth  ?"  I  suggested ;  and  Spiker  and  I  left 
the  room  together. 

In  half  an  hour  I  returned  and  found  the  Colonel 
upon  the  sofa  with  his  arm  around  Mrs.  Bantam's 
waist.  Her  eyes  were  red,  and  the  Colonel  looked  as 
if  hope  had  fled  from  his  soul. 

"Well?"  he  said  eagerly,  as  I  entered. 

"  It  was  a  false  report.     Your  election  is  certain." 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        333 

.  Mrs.  Bantam  laughed  through  her  tears,  and  the 
Colonel  said : 

"  It  is  well ;  I  thank  you  !  A  more  dastardly  blow 
at  the  very  vitals  of  constitutional  government  than 
my  exclusion  from  the  office  for  which  the  people 
selected  me  could  hardly  be  imagined.  I  shall  go  to 
Washington,  sir,  and  when  I  get  there  my  countrymen 
shall  hear  from  me." 

By  the  middle  of  November  Dr.  Bulfinch  was  offered 
a  professorship  in  a  small  college  in  the  western  part 
of  the  state,  and  when  he  told  me  of  it,  and  explained 
that  his  school  was  a  failure  financially,  I  advised  him 
to  accept  it,  and  released  him  from  all  obligation  to 
me.  So  the  school  was  closed,  and  when  Amos  Bon- 
ner  had  given  half  a  promise  to  buy  the  buildings,  and 
Colonel  Bantam  had  promised  that  Charley  Bulfinch, 
if  he  would  study  hard,  should  go  to  the  Naval  Acad- 
emy at  Annapolis,  the  Doctor  left  us,  not  without  tears, 
and  took  Charley  with  him,  and  Bonner  made  me,  a 
mere  pedagogue,  unskilled  in  business  matters,  general 
manager  of  the  Happy  Hollow  Improvement  Company. 
I  had  also  the  promise  that  I  should  marry  Ruby  in 
January. 

Thus  peace  came  again  to  Happy  Hollow,  and  good 
fortune  upon  a  sound  basis,  with  A.  J.  Pelican  still 
president  of  the  bank,  and  behind  him  and  me  that 
quiet  little  grey  man  who  strangely,  in  the  days  of  his 
exile  and  affliction,  had  won  a  fortune  for  himself  in 
the  countries  far  away. 

"  It  seemed,  Henry,"  he  said  to  me,  "  as  if  I  couldn't 
help  making  money,  though  little  I  cared  for  it." 

And  he  was  not  forgetful  either  of  Julie  Mortimer, 
for  when  he  had  visited  her  more  than  once,  she  went 


334  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

away  to  Europe  far  from  poor,  and  there  she  gained 
distinction  such  as  her  talents  warranted,  and  we  heard 
not  long  afterward  that  she  married  happily  in  France. 

Bonner  had  been  telling  us  about  it  in  the  parlor  one 
night,  when  the  Colonel  and  Mrs.  Bantam  and  Spiker 
and  Elmira  and  Ruby  sat  with  him,  a  happy  circle ; 
and  after  a  while  Bonner  withdrew  and  went,  I  thought, 
to  his  room. 

When  he  had  gone,  and  we  had  talked  further  about 
the  changes  that  had  come  to  us,  I  had  all  at  once  a 
strong,  almost  overpowering  impression  of  the  face  I 
had  seen  at  the  window  months  before,  and  my  mind 
kept  running  upon  the  subsequent  adventure  in  the 
garden.  I  could  not  restrain  myself  from  glancing  at 
the  window,  and  I  had  such  a  nervous  dread  of  the 
appearance  of  the  face  again  that  I  could  hardly  con- 
duct sustained  conversation. 

I  was  glad  Amos  Bonner  had  left  the  room,  and 
while  this  pleased  me,  I  had  continual  fear  that  he 
would  return  and  that  he  would  see  the  face  as  I  had 
seen  it. 

The  feeling  at  last  grew  so  strong  upon  me  that, 
merely  to  find  relief,  I  arose  and  went  to  the  dining- 
room  and  opened  the  door  to  the -side  porch. 

I  saw  at  once  that  persons  were  there.  It  was  a  cold 
night,  with  a  sharp  movement  of  the  wind  from  the 
northwest.  The  stars  were  out,  brilliant  and  blinking 
in  the  blackness  of  the  sky.  I  shivered  as  I  opened 
the  door,  and  would  have  stepped  back  into  the  room 
at  once  had  I  seen  nobody. 

The  voice  of  Amos  Bonner  said : 

"  She  is  dying,  Henry." 

Then  I  shut  the  door  and  came  near.     I  could  see 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        335 

him  sitting  upon  the  edge  of  the  porch  floor  as  I  had 
seen  him  on  the  day  when  first  I  met  him ;  and  plainly, 
even  through  the  gloom,  the  form  of  a  woman,  stretched 
upon  the  floor,  lying  upon  her  side  with  her  head  upon 
his  breast,  while  his  arms  held  her  fast.  His  head  was 
bent  so  that  his  face  was  over  her. 

"  Kiss  me,  my  husband,"  I  heard  her  say,  in  a  voice 
not  much  more  than  a  whisper,  but  strangely  dis- 
tinct. 

As  he  leaned  further  forward  and  kissed  her  over 
and  over  again,  she  flung  up  her  right  arm  and  tried 
to  put  it  about  his  neck ;  but  the  effort  was  too  great, 
and  she  would  have  fallen  from  him  had  he  not  folded 
her  more  closely  to  him. 

"  Forgive  me,  husband,"  she  said  faintly. 

"  Yes,  my  love,  my  sweet ;  perfectly,  perfect  forgive- 
ness !  My  love,  my  wife!"  he  said;  and  then,  to  me, 
"She -is  dying,  Henry.  She  has  come  back  to  me  to 
die.  Do  not  go  away.  Help  me  here.  We  cannot 
take  her  in.  Guard  the  door." 

"Mary!"  and  he  called  her. 

She  tried  again  to  lift  her  arm,  but  she  could  not, 
and  she  just  turned  her  face  up  toward  him.  I  could 
see  it  plainly,  that  white  face  there  in  the  starlight,  as 
if  there  had  been  no  gloom. 

He  kissed  her  tenderly  and  spoke  soft  words  of  en- 
dearment to  her ;  and  then  he  was  silent,  and  seemed 
to  listen  to  find  if  she  were  still  breathing. 

At  last  her  head  fell  back  upon  his  arm,  and  a  sob 
came  from  him  as  he  said : 

"  Dead,  Henry  !  dead,  dead,  dead  !  It  was  sorrow- 
ful for  her,  Henry ;  she  suffered  so  much.  Alas,  my 
darling  !  My  Mary !  My  dear !" 


336  IN   HAPPY   HOLLOW. 

Then  he  put  his  lips  to  her  cold  cheeks  and  broke 
into  a  passion  of  weeping. 

I  knew  not  what  to  do.  I  feared  for  him  there  in 
the  cold.  I  took  off  my  coat  and  flung  it  around  him, 
and  then  I  tried  to  lift  from  his  arms  the  body  of  the 
poor  woman  and  to  lay  it  upon  the  floor. 

When  I  had  considered  for  a  few  moments,  I  called 
to  our  help  a  discreet  neighbor,  to  whose  house  the 
dead  woman  was  carried  to  remain  while  we  should 
arrange  for  the  burial. 

As  she  lay  upon  the  bed  in  the  upper  room,  with 
her  hair  tangled  about  her  pallid  temples,  I  could  per- 
ceive that  she  had  once  been  beautiful. 

Amos  Bonner  stood  by  her  and  looked  long  at  her. 
He  took  her  hand  in  his : 

"  See  how  white  and  thin  it  is,  Henry.  How  terri- 
ble has  been  her  punishment !  But,  if  I  can  forgive, 
God  will  forgive.  He  is  most  merciful.  We  shall 
meet  in  that  other  country.  Do  you  notice  how  sweet 
her  smile  is  now  ?  She  knows  she  has  been  pardoned. 
She  died  knowing  that,  Henry. 

"  She  thought  this  was  Ruby's  wedding-day,  and 
she  had  herself  driven  here,  sick  and  wretched,  so  that 
she  might  look  in  at  the  window  and  see  the  child.  I 
found  her  lying  on  the  porch  floor.  Perhaps  I  was 
to  blame  for  it  all.  I  may  have  been  cold  to  her.  We 
cannot  see  each  other's  hearts  ;  but  I  loved  her  dearly 
always.  My  love,  my  life !"  and  he  held  the  white 
hand  to  his  lips. 

When  I  had  led  him  away  from  her  and  we  came 
home  again,  neither  of  us  could  bear  to  join  the  group 
in  the  parlor,  but  both  went  to  our  own  rooms ;  and 
Ruby  never  knew  of  that  pitiful  scene  upon  the  porch, 


THE   COLONEL   FINDS   SCOPE.        337 

when  her  father  and  mother  exchanged  words  and 
kisses  for  the  last  time. 

I  did  tell  her,  long  afterward,  that  I  knew  her 
mother  died  peacefully  in  her  father's  arms ;  but  I 
withheld  a  part  of  the  truth  and  she  did  not  seek  to 
know  it  all.  It  brought  peace  to  her  own  soul  to 
learn  that  there  had  been  reconciliation  and  forgive- 
ness. 

On  the  twelfth  of  January  Mrs.  Purvis-Hyde  and  A. 
J.  Pelican  were  married  in  the  Episcopal  Church  by 
Dr.  Fury,  and  Ruby  and  I  observed  the  ceremony 
with  eager  interest,  because  on  the  nineteenth  of  Jan- 
uary she  and  I  were  to  be  married  in  the  parlor  of  our 
house — her  father's  house. 

She  had  many  presents,  among  them  a  very  hand- 
some silver-plated  tea-set  from  Emerson  Spiker,  who 
confessed  to  me,  but  asked  me  to  keep  quiet  about  it, 
that  he  had  taken  it  in  trade.  And  on  the  very  day 
of  the  wedding  he  whispered  to  me  : 

"  I  think  Elmira  and  I  will  follow  your  example, 
Sprat.  I  am  lonely ;  and  I  really  need  a  helper,  a 
strong  helper.  Besides,  I  am  now  convinced  that 
women  ought  to  be  unshackled  ;  they  don't  have  half 
a  chance." 

'Lias  Guff  guarded  the  door  on  the  day  of  the  wed- 
ding, and  Amelia  Powers  Guff,  with  her  vocal  pro- 
pensities held  severely  in  restraint,  helped  the  caterer 
in  the  kitchen ;  and  so  we  were  married,  and  began 
together  that  journey  of  life  which  love  alone  can 
make  joyful. 

THE    END. 
22 


Out  of  the  Hurly=Burly. 

By  MAX   ADELER, 

Author  of  "Captain  Bluitt,  etc.,  etc. 

WITH  WO  ILLUSTRATIONS  BY  A.  B.  FROST  AND  OTHERS. 


A  BOOK   WITH  A   RECORD. 

'Max  Adder's  "Out  of  the  Hurly-Burly  "  has  a  notable  history.  It 
was  first  published  nearly  thirty  years  ago,  and  every  year  since  that  time 
there  has  been  a  large  demand  for  it.  The  total  sales  for  the  American 
and  English  editions  probably  much  exceed  one  hundred  and  fifty 
thousand. 

The  book  contains  nearly  four  hundred  of  the  first  drawings  made  by 
the  now  eminent  artist  A.  B.  Frost,  and  is  interesting  upon  that  account. 

It  has  had  even  larger  popularity  in  Great  Britain  than  in  the  United 
States.  It  has  been  translated  into  several  languages,  and  copies  of  it 
have  gone  literally  to  the  ends  of  the  earth.  A  friend  of  the  author's, 
shipwrecked  upon  the  coast  of  Norway  a  few  years  ago,  got  ashore  and 
found  refuge  in  a  fisherman's  lonely  hut.  The  first  thing  he  saw  upon 
entering  the  building  was  a  Swedish  translation  of  "  Out  of  the  Hurly- 
Burly  "  lying  on  a  table,  and  it  made  him  feel  at  home  at  once.  Another 
friend  discovered  the  book  in  the  cabin  of  a  steamer  a  thousand  miles  up 
a  river  in  China.  Cheering  reports  have  floated  in  from  India  respecting 
it,  and  innumerable  tales  have  come  to  the  author  of  the  pleasure  it  has 
afforded  to  invalids  and  to  the  sorrowing,  and  of  the  joy  it  has  given  to 
young  people  all  over  the  world. 

The  demand  for  "  Out  of  the  Hurly-Burly  "  continues.  In  fact,  it  is 
beginning  again  to  increase.  Of  how  many  books  published  in  1874  can 
this  be  said? 

The  new  generation  is  learning,  as  its  predecessors  did,  that  here  is  a 
book  of  hearty  fun  and  genuine  sentiment,  which  contains  no  word  that 
can  give  offense,  and  which  contributes  liberally  to  society's  stock  of 
cheerfulness. 

For  more  than  a  quarter  of  a  century  it  has  supplied  innocent  mirth 
to  a  world  in  which  kindly  humor  is  by  no  means  an  abundant  commodity, 
and  the  promise  is  that  it  will  have  undiminished  benefaction  for  genera- 
tions still  to  come. 

12mo,  Cloth,  extra    .     .     .     .    $1.25. 


HENRY  T.  COATES  &  CO.,  Publishers, 

PHILADELPHIA,  PA. 


CAPTAIN    BLUITT. 

By  MAX  ADELER. 

A  book  of  genuine  humor  is  not  a  mere  ' '  funny  ' '  book.  It 
deals  with  both  the  serious  and  the  amusing  sides  of  human 
life,  and  the  humor  is  the  natural,  easy,  unforced  outcome  of 
the  relation  of  the  various  characters  to  the  various  situations. 

There  is  much  grave  matter  in  Max  Adeler'  s  ' '  Captain 
Bluitt"  ;  and  sometimes  seriousness  deepens  into  tragedy,  as 
in  the  chapter  "  Phcebe  Tarsel  Goes  Home,"  of  which  a  Lon- 
don journal  said,  "You  can't  lay  the  book  down  to  speak  to  a 
friend  without  a  lump  in  your  throat,  and  you  can't  read  that 
chapter  unmoved  unless  you  are  built  on  a  different  plan  from 
your  fellows  ' '  ;  but  there  is  also  a  lot  of  good  fun,  such  as  is 
found  in  few  modern  stories.  When  the  final  verdict  is  given 
upon  the  quality  of  American  humor,  we  are  sure  a  first  place 
will  be  allotted  to  the  stories  of  Captain  Bluitt' s  experiment 
with  a  catapult  and  of  his  venture  into  the  mysteries  of 
' '  haruspication  ' ' . 

The  modern  American  school  board  did  not  rank  high 
among  the  sources  of  fun  until  Max  Adeler  described  the 
School  Board  of  Turley,  and  so  immortalized  that  body  ;  and 
if  the  humor  of  an  American  election  was  ever  better  devel- 
oped than  in  the  narrative  of  Rufus  Potter's  political  campaign, 
we  do  not  know  it. 

The  truth  is  that  the  folks  in  this  story  are  real  people,  who 
lead  real  lives,  and  out  of  them  and  their  movements  to  and  fro 
the  author  has  contrived  to  extract  plenty  of  good  fun,  some 
lively  adventures,  a  bit  of  tragedy,  and  many  incidents  highly 
charged  with  feeling. 

Max  Adder's  "Out  of  the  Hurly-Burly  "  has  retained  its 
popularity  for  nearly  thirty  years.  The  prediction  is  ventured 
that  ' '  Captain  Bluitt ' '  will  have  as  long  a  life  or  longer. 

12mo,  Cloth,  extra,  illustrated     .     .  $1.50. 

HENRY  T,  COATES  &  CO.,  Publishers, 

PHILADELPHIA,  PA. 


14  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 

LOAN  DEPT. 

This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below,  or 

on  the  date  to  which  renewed. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediate  recall. 


23Mr'82B? 

:C'D  LD 

"  ; 

LIBRARY  USE  ON 

LY 

SEP  2  1  198' 

CIRCULATION  DEI 

3T. 

RECEIVED  BY 

SEP  PI  1Q87 

CiRCUUTi^K,  0 

Uni^^-ia 

Clark,  C.  E 
In  Happy 


Hollow. 


C593 
4jok- 


M196477 

C* 


THE  UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


